Avi's Transits 2019

Q&A and discussion on Transits.
Avshalom Binyamin
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Re: Avi's Transits 2019

Post by Avshalom Binyamin » Mon Jul 22, 2019 10:04 am

Thanks all! I am ordering Ebertin's book from Amazon today.

The combo of a Ma-90-Me, Ve-90-Pl this weekend, ongoing Pl-90-Pl, and a week of sobriety* left me pretty irritable this weekend.

*at the same time, I feel quite "altered". I believe my THC-laden fat reserves are making me high as I continue to exercise and lose weight. :lol:

Last Lunar Return:
t. Ur-IC 2.26'
r. Me-MC 2.32'
t. Ve-DC 2.53'
t./r. Mo-MC 3.00'
t. Su-DC 7.03'
t. Sa-AC 7.38

t.Ur-90-t.Ma 1.35'
t.Ur-90-t.Me 1.41'
t.Su-180-t.Sa 0.35'
t.Su-90-r.Su 0.29'
t.Sa-90-r.Su 1.04

Sexual rebellion, surprising discoveries, financially difficulty or other struggle, emotional excitement and frustration. Spotlight of recognition for musical talent or heroism. Good for writing, mental productivity. New loves and friends, tokens of affection. Good and bad news.

Emphasis on close relationships. Special attention, and development of stage persona. Publicity. Affectionate. Getting my act together. Lifestyle shifts.
Tomorrow morning my demilunar sets up:
t. Ne-MC 0.28"
t. Sa-DC 3.05"
t. Pl-DC 8.32"
r. Ju-IC 8.45"

t. Ne-90-r. Ne 2.22"
t. Sa-90-r. Su 0.02"
t. Pl-90-r. Pl 0.19"
t. Pl-180-t. Ve 2.39"

Emotional excitement, fantasy, mysticism, art. Hard work. Isolation. But feeling confident about it. Dramatic turning points in relationships: elopement, divorce.
This, along with the next couple lunar returns/oppositions seem to mean that this summer will be good time to continue to test embracing solitude, channeling emotional energy into psychological healing, music, etc.

Avshalom Binyamin
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Re: Avi's Transits 2019

Post by Avshalom Binyamin » Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:29 am

I'm finding this combo of Ur-145-Ne and Pl-90-Pl immensely rewarding in terms of personal growth.

It's given me a lot of clarity around my neuroses. I've realized how much of my life's behavior has been about performing and pleasing others, which is an inherently needy perspective.

The only people who tolerate that attitude are other needy people, whether people pleasers or narcissists. So it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of unsatisfying personal relationships.

On some level I've known this for a while, but then had an avoidant strategy on top of it all, to protect myself. If I play it cool, people won't think I'm needy. But it's another performance, and it's still needy.

What is really needed is a perspective shift that involves being alone to work out my own personal values and identity, realize that I am fully able to be my own happy self and create the life I want without needing completion in the form of a specific romantic relationship.

I think I've been improving in these areas for a few years, becoming more positive and outgoing, and leaning into the areas that really interest me. But this transit has given me the perfect opportunity to actually make some dramatic shifts for the better.

---

So I've been learning. I'm about 30 episodes into the Philosophize This! podcast, which has been feeding my brain lots of different ways of looking at life. I've read a couple self-help books geared at helping become less people pleasing, and more authentically self-directed.

And now I'm starting to track how often I'm acting in a performative way, to please or gain approval, and shifting to a perspective of pleasing myself.

Too much of this will be narcissistic and selfish, but sometimes it's necessary to overcompensate to find balance. The most satisfying relationships will be between people who are complete in themselves, don't need each other, and are able to still add to each other's lives just by (selfishly, honestly) being themselves.

---

Additionally, after 3 weeks of sobriety, I had a coworker randomly ask if I could take a large (over an ounce) bag of weed he had been gifted off his hands. The interaction had all the hallmarks of divine intervention, so I relented and accepted this manifestation of Uranus-Neptune energy.

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Jim Eshelman
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Re: Avi's Transits 2019

Post by Jim Eshelman » Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:53 am

You likely have already thought about the thing I'm about to say, but it seemed worth saying.

You probably know that people that have difficulty cleanly and candidly expressing anger run into problems when they try to change this. Initially, the anger comes out all at the wrong time, in the wrong place, with the wrong impact, and is really about other old stored stuff instead of what's happening in the moment. That's ultimately OK: They have to do it. There are tactics for dealing with it, but the gook has to spill out somewhere once you pop the can.

Similarly, with long-term behaviors at trying to please everyone, when you start making that not your leading priority, I guarantee you'll do it badly :o We tend to need practice at any new skill, so there surely will be times that it seems to others that you are a people displeaser.

Empathy and communication will manage some of this in the short run, and practice will win out in the long run.

But there's no need for you to be bindsided by it.
Jim Eshelman
www.jeshelman.com

Avshalom Binyamin
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Re: Avi's Transits 2019

Post by Avshalom Binyamin » Thu Aug 01, 2019 12:44 pm

Yes, this is true.

Paul Foster Case:
wisdom and liberation result from the right adaptation of the very forces which, at first, tempt us into mistaken action
I *do* have a lot of anger, at others for treating me terribly in the past, and myself for encouraging it. And calling out bad behavior often ends badly, if one is hoping to change others, or is just new and clumsy at it.

I've made a working list of 11 personal commandments, and three of them are:

I don't try to please others
I tell people how I really feel
I don't argue

I'm not conflict averse, once conflict escalates. And part of me loves arguing. But that can be destructive. My goal is to practice speaking my mind early and often, without needing another person to change, and acting to please myself, so that I feel less helpless and victimized.

For example, this week my daughter's mom was 45 minutes late to our trade-off, and had stressed out our daughter so she wasn't ready for the transition. I knew this was all avoidable, and expressed annoyance. She wanted to argue with me that it was an unpreventable circumstance, and not just poor planning. But I wasn't expressing annoyance to argue or change her; I was just practicing being honest.

So I shrugged and went to the grocery store instead, and then called after to see if my daughter was ready to be picked up.

By pleasing myself, I wasn't "stuck" waiting for my daughter's mom to get our daughter ready for the trade-off. I was in control of pleasing myself, and was much happier.

Her mom seemed annoyed, and probably thinks I was an a**shole. Maybe I was. With practice, I can handle this situation with more grace--e.g., If I had gone to the grocery store even sooner when she was running late, maybe I wouldn't have gotten as annoyed.

But there will always be someone who thinks I'm an a**shole, and I am learning to be ok with this. I get that as a kid it was important to monitor my mom's feelings to avoid getting beaten or locked in my room, but as a grownup, if someone's mad at me it doesn't need to be *that* important to me.

Avshalom Binyamin
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Re: Avi's Transits 2019

Post by Avshalom Binyamin » Tue Aug 06, 2019 11:24 am

New lunar return:
t. Ne-0-MC 5.08"
t. Sa-0-DC 6.01"
r. Ve-0-IC 8.08"

t. Neptune square r. Neptune 2.36"
t. Saturn square r. Sun 0.50"
t. Saturn square r./t. Moon 2.43"
This month will continue to be about personal transformation around/preoccupation with issues of fantasy/drama/magick, while I simultaneously experience a particularly busy time at work and with music (practicing for some important shows this summer). It's simultaneously dreamy, melancholic, practical, and productive.

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