Synastry I Don't Understand

[sotonye]

The girl who I get along best with and I have synastry that suggests, I think, that we shouldn't get along at all, or at least not as well as we do. The time we spend is mostly just us going on about how much we appreciate one another, and I do genuinely appreciate her, in her I can't find a single fault, and to me only she is good in this world and nothing else, only she is brilliant, gentle, soft, understanding, and full to the brim with consideration for others, only she deserves all of my love. But together we have Moon-Mars, Saturn-Mars, and Saturn-Venus aspects, and this is really strange to me, these things suggest friction and frustration, and that I inhibit her growth, but there's only ever been harmony between us, and she often reminds me that I'm the reason why she has improved so much from before, the reason why she loves herself more now.

We do have really nice Mercury aspects together, and my Pluto aspects her Sun and my Sun aspects her Uranus and my Uranus squares her ascendant, but I'm skeptical that these things could produce all of this. There's no Venus and yet all I have is love and patience for her. I don't know what's going on here:


Her:
February 18th, 1998
Tiel, Netherlands
11:53pm

Sotonye:
May 2nd, 1995
Los Angeles, CA
8:03am


(Another thing that's strange, and which I've mentioned before, is that most girls I know have either an Aquarius Sun or Libra Moon)

[Jim Eshelman]

I'll focus more on process than outcome...

Just based on signs, your Aries Sun pairs well with her Libra Moon.

First pass overview: Her Sun is in your upper foreground and, with her Mercury, squares your Mercury, suggesting that you admire her, are impressed by her, and good for communication (and maybe business, so far as this aspect goes).

Moon-Mars is well-documented many places on this site. Basically, it burns hot and fiercely built usually for the shortrun. It's sexually passionate in a "setting off firecrackers" sense, but expects that intensity to continue even when the smoke clears. Your behavior demands strong response from her - instinctual, emotional, or if necessary reactive - and this is what causes arguments in most cases eventually. You are right that her Mars on your Saturn is an aspect of struggle, and her Saturn isn't that far from your Venus (part of her Venus-Saturn nature; I'd suggest reading all the fine points about natal Venus-Saturn to understand her).

Her Sun also squares your Pluto. Your presence has an impact on her that feels like "you want to change her" (or just that your presence changes her). She will react to this however she does, usually by welcoming it consciously or by leaving.

Looking at the fine points, her Mercury semi-square your Venus is nice - again, communication is good. Ditto since her Sun to your Mercury is only 0°04'. Communication (as you detected) is clearly the strength of this relationship and, just maybe, what has kept it out of trouble so far.

[Jim Eshelman]

Her chart (and, therefore, probably her character) is very accepting. Her chart isn't terribly dynamic, which enhances this a bit.

Ah, but it changes a lot when you relocate her from the East Coast to the West. For Burbank, her Saturn is 3° from MC, her Venus 2° below Dsc, her Neptune 4° above Dsc. Ecliptically she has the close Venus-Saturn square, mundanely she picks up a partile Saturn-Neptune square on angles. Venus-Saturn-Neptune combinations draw out all sorts of complex relationship patterns, especially with strong dynamics of authority, dependency, activated parent issues (I bet she has some unresolved Daddy issues that are brought more to the fore in California).

There is a LOT to dig into with Venus-Saturn and Venus-Neptune relationship dynamics, nd a lot of ground that normally would only be covered in a personal counselling session. This digging into the past gives you a lot to talk about if you have a sense there is a future.

And transiting Pluto has recently squared her Saturn and is now heading across her Venus: This natal aspect is exactly on the front burner of her "deal with it now" stovetop. Saturn will be joining Pluto in those parts of space early next year.

[Avshalom Binyamin]

Moon-Mars is well-documented many places on this site

Often enough that some of the examples aren't even me!

[sotonye]

First pass overview: Her Sun is in your upper foreground and, with her Mercury, squares your Mercury, suggesting that you admire her, are impressed by her, and good for communication (and maybe business, so far as this aspect goes).

Yessss, I'm so impressed with her and I do admire her a lot, and our communication is always excellent

Moon-Mars is well-documented many places on this site. Basically, it burns hot and fiercely built usually for the shortrun. It's sexually passionate in a "setting off firecrackers" sense, but expects that intensity to continue even when the smoke clears.

This might sound strange but I've really tried my best to keep things friendly despite that I have some inclination toward the sexual here. It's so difficult and I think it makes me short circuit a bit, but I just feel that anything too passionate might cause things to end. A lot of difficulties arise when a friendship gets complicated in that way, so I've tried to resist! Though it makes me feel like I'm going to detonate

Your behavior demands strong response from her - instinctual, emotional, or if necessary reactive - and this is what causes arguments in most cases eventually.

This is true, and I'm thankful that she is as responsive a she is. But I know can tend toward wanting more intense responses, and I try my best never to be that way with her

You are right that her Mars on your Saturn is an aspect of struggle, and her Saturn isn't that far from your Venus (part of her Venus-Saturn nature; I'd suggest reading all the fine points about natal Venus-Saturn to understand her).

Okay will do

Her Sun also squares your Pluto. Your presence has an impact on her that feels like "you want to change her" (or just that your presence changes her). She will react to this however she does, usually by welcoming it consciously or by leaving.

She has changed a lot since we've met, and she has left before, she's left several times randomly. When I asked her why recently she said that she "didn't want to see me as a savior," and I don't really understand what that too well

Looking at the fine points, her Mercury semi-square your Venus is nice - again, communication is good. Ditto since her Sun to your Mercury is only 0°04'. Communication (as you detected) is clearly the strength of this relationship and, just maybe, what has kept it out of trouble so far.

I didn't know that we use octiles too! Excellent. And yes communication with her is the best I've had with anyone (except the other girl whose chart I've posted before). We are always honest and open, it feels so freeing I can hardly believe it!!

[sotonye]

Her chart (and, therefore, probably her character) is very accepting. Her chart isn't terribly dynamic, which enhances this a bit.

Hmm this is interesting, a static chart producing a receptive character? And yes she's very accepting

Ah, but it changes a lot when you relocate her from the East Coast to the West. For Burbank, her Saturn is 3° from MC, her Venus 2° below Dsc, her Neptune 4° above Dsc. Ecliptically she has the close Venus-Saturn square, mundanely she picks up a partile Saturn-Neptune square on angles. Venus-Saturn-Neptune combinations draw out all sorts of complex relationship patterns, especially with strong dynamics of authority, dependency, activated parent issues (I bet she has some unresolved Daddy issues that are brought more to the fore in California).

Mr. E, the daddy issues she has are the worst I've ever heard. I cant wrap my mind around what he would do to her, this all really messed her up badly, they present a huge stain on her soul. The authority and dependency issues are also a large factor. Regarding the dependency, she told me something that I still don't quite understand, that she sees strangers as potential saviors? As people who could rescue her from herself?

There is a LOT to dig into with Venus-Saturn and Venus-Neptune relationship dynamics, nd a lot of ground that normally would only be covered in a personal counselling session. This digging into the past gives you a lot to talk about if you have a sense there is a future.

I really would like to marry her someday but I feel she would leave

And transiting Pluto has recently squared her Saturn and is now heading across her Venus: This natal aspect is exactly on the front burner of her "deal with it now" stovetop. Saturn will be joining Pluto in those parts of space early next year.

Sheesh, this will be something to witness

[Jim Eshelman]

I didn't know that we use octiles too!

The last pass to pick up details is looking at each chart as if it is a moment in time of transits to the other. (Each person is transits to the other person.) Octiles are essential to a complete transit picture.

Here's the thread where I lay out my approach:
https://solunars.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=245

[sotonye]

The last pass to pick up details is looking at each chart as if it is a moment in time of transits to the other. (Each person is transits to the other person.) Octiles are essential to a complete transit picture.

Here's the thread where I lay out my approach:
https://solunars.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=245

I've never thought of synastry that way! How very good! This is perfect, looking at synastry as transits. Thank you, I'll apply the approach you've outlined from here on