Avshalom Binyamin wrote: Tue Nov 19, 2019 9:17 am
Are you mean to yourself?
I have been. Very. I practice kindness much more often now.
Do you whip yourself for the hell of it?
I have. And others who have asked for it, and vice versa.
(and I'm realizing that when I said I "never hit a person in my life" I meant someone who didn't specifically ask me too.
)
I realize that's not what you're talking about.
Do you smoke and hurt your lungs for the hell of it?
I have. I smoked from ages 22-32, and quit, but have fallen off the wagon and smoked a few packs in the years since. There's a self-destructive element at play.
Do you lash your tounge at bigots and racists for fun and kick and self esteem?
I have. A little over a year ago, I received death threats from a nazi on another forum, and I spent weeks mocking and tongue-lashing nazis and their sympathizers. I deliberately chose to enjoy myself at their expense, and I fed off the emotions. I try to find less dopamine-filled outlets for righteous indignation now.
---
I have other factors in my chart--angular Saturn, Pluto widely conjunct Sun--that keep me from expressing too much anger outward, and I have a lifetime of experience that helps me have compassion and choose other paths of expression of anger.
But those things are in me, and that's ok.
I appreciate you for seeing the best in me. That's in me too.
Oh I do see the best in you
Its kinda my thing
But I dont think you got what I was getting at.
You are not mean. In the sence of "unkind" "cruel" "heartless".
That would be like me
Outa the blue
Calling you rude nasty deroragtive names
For no reason.
I would be willing to be that in everyone of those situations where you say you are mean....
In your mind you had a very precise specific thought that needed an outlet, like a tolerence that had been achieved, a frustration point that had been met and your Mars would not be idle.
You smoked because...
You needed something released or a stimulant to keep you going
Not because you hate life and want to die.
You whipped yourself. Not because you wanted to be unkind to yourself like others can be but because something was triggered that compelled you.
Snakes are not mean.
They are snakes.
They get scared and hurt and protective and hungry like all creatures. They dont just willy nilly go around biting. There is a reason
People have said I have been mean.
That I can say horrible things
That ill smash a window
But Ive never just done or said things without what I perceived as just cause.
Scorpio Mars is pain and blood and rage and fury for sure, its the will to live, completely determined to stay alive.
I can personally put up with lots of pain and unkindness directed at me. I think Scorpio mars has a high tolerance for pain, but when I feel that Ive been hit enough, over and over and over....I will lash out, very very hard.
In fact my hits seem stronger then the initial hit, but my mind has kept score and my mouth or body says...ok...its my turn. Seemingly out of the blue and that reaction is very much what the word Mean signifies. An averaging out in a way.
Women and men have IMO gotten lazy in a way ( how mars scorpio of me to say that)....men call women mean when women finally blow up at the overflowing laundry ir such and lash out calling men messy and uncaring and lazy and blah blah. While women call men mean for not returning phone calls right away or not being open and clear about goals and plans. The sexes attack each other placing blame and playing victim when what it really is, miscommunication, fear, misplaced anger and lack of compassion and understanding for the fundamental biilogical difference between sexes.
I would think that Mars in a sign contrary to its nature like libra or taurus or cancer would have more of a genuine tendency to be mean...like a bigot or misogist...or maybe Mars in the bacjfround feeling unable to express.
But I strongly disagree with them being down right truely unkind cruel hurtful "meanies" just because.