Last few years has been heavy

[Ph.Ars]

When it will stop and for how long I have to feel this pressure...

15.12.1972 08:15 AM
44N50
20E30

Also, I think that I have some "karmic" relationship with 18.08.1978 02:10AM 42N39 21E10 relocated with 3yo to the 44N50
20E30... When it will end?

[Jim Eshelman]

We have to get this in a form where we can determine exact spots plus time zone information.

15.12.1972 08:15 AM
44N50 20E30

Am I correct that this is December 15, 1972, 8:15 AM, in or near Belgrade, Sebia? (I can't tell if it's within Belgrade or a suburb).

18.08.1978 02:10AM 42N39 21E10

I take this as August 18, 1978, 2:10 AM, Prishtina, Kosovo.

relocated with 3yo to the 44N50 20E30

You are saying that the other person relocated to Belgrade?

[Ph.Ars]

First coordinates is Belgrade - Serbia (ex YU) and second coordinates is Prishtina - Kosovo (ex Serbia, ex Yu)

Greetings from Sco everything

[Ph.Ars]

We have to get this in a form where we can determine exact spots plus time zone information.

15.12.1972 08:15 AM
44N50 20E30

Am I correct that this is December 15, 1972, 8:15 AM, in or near Belgrade, Sebia? (I can't tell if it's within Belgrade or a suburb).

18.08.1978 02:10AM 42N39 21E10

I take this as August 18, 1978, 2:10 AM, Prishtina, Kosovo.

relocated with 3yo to the 44N50 20E30

You are saying that the other person relocated to Belgrade?

Yes Jim, sorry for not fill proper values. I assume that it would be easier to give coordinates.

[Jim Eshelman]

When it will stop and for how long I have to feel this pressure...

Can you say more about the pressure, especially how long it has existed?

For example, transiting Saturn has made several contacts over the last few months. If this is about when it started then it should be over quite soon (there may be some return charts still keeping the pattern active that haven't expired yet). However, if it's a different time period then we have to look for a different dynamic.

Or do you mean an internal pressure that has been with you all your life? For that, we need to look at your birth chart (which is overall quite positive), as is your "birthday chart," the Solar Return that marks your year measured from your last birthday.

Also, I think that I have some "karmic" relationship with 18.08.1978 02:10AM 42N39 21E10 relocated with 3yo to the 44N50 20E30... When it will end?

What is the nature of the relationship? (Romantic, sexual, friend, business contact, other?)

You have an exact Moon-Mars square between your carts, only 0°14'. This has enormous sexual attraction power and demands a ferociously intense connection that cannot bear any distraction. In other words it is more or less "sex or strife," and if the former isn't there in fair abundance, then strife, friction, aggravation, conflict will result. This person also has a close, passionate, sexually intense Venus-Mars conjunction that squares your Ascendant, so you are a clear target of their sexual interest (at least instinctively, chemically, if not consciously), (Also, their Venus-Mars opposite your Moon, which doubles up on what I said above.)

There is more - great deal more - but that's the loudest part. Their Venus square your Sun-Mercury is important and can forge a strong connection. Their Pluto on your angle, Mercury to your Saturn, etc. - all important.

[Ph.Ars]

When it will stop and for how long I have to feel this pressure...

Can you say more about the pressure, especially how long it has existed?

For example, transiting Saturn has made several contacts over the last few months. If this is about when it started then it should be over quite soon (there may be some return charts still keeping the pattern active that haven't expired yet). However, if it's a different time period then we have to look for a different dynamic.

Or do you mean an internal pressure that has been with you all your life? For that, we need to look at your birth chart (which is overall quite positive), as is your "birthday chart," the Solar Return that marks your year measured from your last birthday.

Also, I think that I have some "karmic" relationship with 18.08.1978 02:10AM 42N39 21E10 relocated with 3yo to the 44N50 20E30... When it will end?

What is the nature of the relationship? (Romantic, sexual, friend, business contact, other?)

You have an exact Moon-Mars square between your carts, only 0°14'. This has enormous sexual attraction power and demands a ferociously intense connection that cannot bear any distraction. In other words it is more or less "sex or strife," and if the former isn't there in fair abundance, then strife, friction, aggravation, conflict will result. This person also has a close, passionate, sexually intense Venus-Mars conjunction that squares your Ascendant, so you are a clear target of their sexual interest (at least instinctively, chemically, if not consciously), (Also, their Venus-Mars opposite your Mars, which doubles up on what I said above.)

There is more - great deal more - but that's the loudest part. Their Venus square your Sun-Mercury is important and can forge a strong connection. Their Pluto on your angle, Mercury to your Saturn, etc. - all important.

I'm not hit and run... been off grid for few more days and I'll get back with details. Meanwhile, tnx for answering. See You soon

[Ph.Ars]

Can you say more about the pressure, especially how long it has existed?

Uh, it's hard to remember exactly, but I think it started from half 2016 with some breaks, but last year was heavy for me. I can't explain pressure that I have on me. No joy, no will to live, nihilism at full scale... Now its little better but still have some residue.

What is the nature of the relationship? (Romantic, sexual, friend, business contact, other?)

It started as sexual, then turn to romantic, then abusive... We can not work together in relationship but also can't be without each other. We have tried several times to break up forever, but its something that keeps us like magnetic field. Like Yo-Yo.

I have Solar fire at my pc, so if You can point to me on some basic things about my solar return

[Jupiter Sets at Dawn]

I can't explain pressure that I have on me. No joy, no will to live, nihilism at full scale... Now its little better but still have some residue.

That sounds like depression.

It started as sexual, then turn to romantic, then abusive... We can not work together in relationship but also can't be without each other. We have tried several times to break up forever, but its something that keeps us like magnetic field. Like Yo-Yo.

Who is abusive to whom? Define "abuse." Is one of you hitting the other, or does one of you try "the silent treatment" to get their way, or ??

Who breaks up with whom (or is it a mutual decision?)

Who has made first contact leading to getting back together, and why did that person do that?

If both of you have made first contact at different times, see if you can answer that question for each time.

[Ph.Ars]

That sounds like depression.

Depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, overthinking in bad directions... I have from December many good things that happen to me (have own photo exhibition, my aunt bought to my kids few apartments so they can live and go to the college where I live and so on...) but I didn't "enjoy" in that and feel happy especially that is major things in life.

Who is abusive to whom? Define "abuse." Is one of you hitting the other, or does one of you try "the silent treatment" to get their way, or ??

Who breaks up with whom (or is it a mutual decision?)

Who has made first contact leading to getting back together, and why did that person do that?

If both of you have made first contact at different times, see if you can answer that question for each time.

Yes we have physically fight at the end of November. After that she come to me to "try" again something in half January... I have refused. Now I'm "trying" something I don't know what (making contact again) but I feel need to do that. It was very dynamic relationship with offs and ons for year and half...
In that year and half, mostly it was her to make contact but on "sleazy" way. Just show up and say something like "I cant be without you" or similar. After few months/weeks she is going to "ghosting" me.+, silent treatment, not seeing each other, lies...

[Jupiter Sets at Dawn]

You need to understand. Every time you go back to her, or let her show up and get you to come back, you are reinforcing the relationship.

This stuff is important. If she contacts you and you say no, then she contacts you again but you still say no, and she contacts you ten times, and you say ok on the tenth time, you have taught her, and taught yourself, she needs to contact you ten times but then you will give in. It's how gamblers get addicted to gambling. It's basic human nature. But you can stop it.

Put a peephole in your door and if she shows up, don't open the door. Even if she knows you're there. Let her pound on the door and scream if she wants to, but don't open the door.

You might also go see your doctor and get something to interrupt your depression so you can work on getting over it. You know it's an actual physical disease, right? And heritable, so you are setting an example for your kids on handling it.

[Ph.Ars]

You need to understand. Every time you go back to her, or let her show up and get you to come back, you are reinforcing the relationship.

This stuff is important. If she contacts you and you say no, then she contacts you again but you still say no, and she contacts you ten times, and you say ok on the tenth time, you have taught her, and taught yourself, she needs to contact you ten times but then you will give in. It's how gamblers get addicted to gambling. It's basic human nature. But you can stop it.

Put a peephole in your door and if she shows up, don't open the door. Even if she knows you're there. Let her pound on the door and scream if she wants to, but don't open the door.

You might also go see your doctor and get something to interrupt your depression so you can work on getting over it. You know it's an actual physical disease, right? And heritable, so you are setting an example for your kids on handling it.

Thank You for advice's.
I'm seeing a psychotherapist for some time but I don't believe in medics and pharmacy (for mental conditions to be specific, I'm not antivax or something like that) because I think that is hook similar like drugs. I prefer to do it on dry.

Any thoughts about transits or progressions?
I see in my chart that on this year later I will have Prog Venus conjunction pr Jupiter. Also , pr Moon is on my Asc. How can I interpret that?

[Jupiter Sets at Dawn]

I'm seeing a psychotherapist for some time but I don't believe in medics and pharmacy (for mental conditions to be specific, I'm not antivax or something like that) because I think that is hook similar like drugs. I prefer to do it on dry.

Depression is a physical disease, not a mental condition.

[Jim Eshelman]

Good-morning, Ph.Ars,

Jupiter Sets at Dawn has given you sound counsel so far. I won't repeat it but want to endorse it.

Your two main questions appear to be (1) What's up with the deep depression that has taken up most of the time since mid-2016? (2) What's up with this relationship? Do I have that right?

Ph.Ars, I'm curious about three things:
1. Has anyone else in your immediate family had this kind of heavy depression (and similar feelings), especially if it began around age 40?
2. Have you had periods like this earlier in your life (I don;t mean brief "down" periods, but the kind of thing you've experienced most of the tie since 2016), or is this when it really started in your life?
3. Did anything happen in 2016 to start or trigger this, or did it seem to arise from nowhere?

You have a Scorpio Sun and Pisces Moon. Of the strongest themes in your birth chart, two stand out to me as most important: They may seem somewhat contradictory, but I'm betting they fit together in you and your character. (There is much more to your chart than these two themes, but they are the strongest (and they also tie in other important facts).

The first is MOON-JUPITER. You have Jupiter closely rising in its own constellation of Sagittarius, closely square Moon in Pisces (another constellation sometimes though to be like Jupiter and, in any case, not inconsistent with it). This is not pessimistic or depressive at all - usually thought to be the quite the opposite, up-beat, positive. I have seen it be pessimistic when life circumstances dash or destroy some great hope or aspiration, i.e., life suddenly shows important ambitious or dreams to be failures or illusion but, in general, it is quite upbeat.

The second is a blend of SUN IN SCORPIO with your closest aspect, MARS SEMI-SQUARE PLUTO. These express many kinds of power. Scorpio has the Mars nature very pronounced, which is aggressive, assertive, sexual, even conquering in the approach to life. Mars-Pluto shows an extreme expression of force. (I'm over-simplifying to help sort through what's going on.) Mars-Pluto isn't usually thought of as depressing except it does commonly indicate difficulty expressing anger honestly and cleanly. It's not unusual for Mars-Pluto people to have their expression of anger repressed and shoved down by parents or other early influences, then to have difficulty ever expressing it freely and cleanly - feeling too much explosive potential of the buried anger, not trusting how to let it out - and then this unbalances them later. -- Does this describe you and your relationship to anger, or am I going down a wrong path? (Knowing this would help sort out the astrological patterns of your mental states.)

Something else worth noting is your MERCURY-NEPTUNE CONJUNCTION. It is reasonably close (the psychological force is strong) but it's in a weak part of your chart, as if a very strong psychological force is being denied expression. This aspect can manifest as distorted reality and difficult states of mind (or can find positive expression in intentional distortions of reality, as in artistic or literary creation).

I'll continue this line of thought in the next post.

[Jim Eshelman]

Here are some brief interpretations of the most important signs in your horoscope:

Moon in Pisces. Most truly themselves when being someone else. Dramatizes a personal fiction; “big fish” confidence (self-important, airs?). Love having a “secret side.” Divas. Emotionally driven (haunted). Fascinated with the unknown. Religious thinking style. Faith, commitment to beliefs or vision. Judgmental. Hardened personal reality (stuck patterns).

Sun in Scorpio. Requires freedom of movement and thought, to be unfettered. Willing to rebel, be outlandish. Sharp humor. Bold; moral courage; hard to intimidate. Non-disclosing, slow to show weaknesses; collects others’ weaknesses. Pragmatic, not theoretical. Favors action, abhors apathy. Phallic: Sexual volcanoes. [Your Sun closely aspects Uranus, which reinforces especially the freedom needs.]

Mars in Libra. Warm, sociable, likable. Independent, self-sufficient, survivors (slow to ask for help). Persistent, serious, intent. Interesting, odd (disreputable?), on the outskirts. Passion for social justice. The feminine thrives better than masculine (feminist).: Men struggle with gender expectations (some bullies). Substance abuse problems.


Here is a description of your Jupiter rising and Moon-Jupiter aspect. (Remember to tie it into the paragraph on Moon in Pisces above.)

Moon square Jupiter. Ambitious, desires success, aspires to take the lead. A natural ‘host,’ likes to play ringmaster in all life areas including in social & sexual hospitality. Usually good-humored, entertaining, kind, generous. Drawn to quality, desires only the best (things & circumstances) for self & loved ones. Strong beliefs (often religious or patriotic intensity, moralistic, judgmental). Social elitism (possible feigned superiority, aristocratic conceit).

Jupiter conjunct Ascendant. Positive, optimistic, oriented to the good & qualitative. Unusually lucky. Aspires to (enjoys) life of leisure & its perks (seeks to improve self & conditions). Generous, congenial, tolerant, good-humored, kind. Sexually giving. Needs esteem & inclusion (usually well received; can be overly role-conscious). Responds to cultural totems, heritage, tradition, social graces, social & ceremonial rituals. Champion of justice & fair play.


Here are the Mars-Pluto and Mercury-Neptune aspects I mentioned.

Mars octile Pluto. Normally congenial, mannered, even docile; yet enormous hidden explosive force (disciplined & available; untapped; or toxic & brutal). This must be expressed somehow (suppressing it attracts violence or assaults health). Resists control or coercion, defies arbitrary restrictions. Sexual energies explosive or rerouted into work (beware burn-out). In a balanced life: distinctive creativity, alive with a quiet, intense energy.

Mercury conjunct Neptune. Hyper-responsive to environment and perceptions, extreme sensitivity to sensory impressions. Magnifies trivialities, fixates on particulars (often perfectionists); thus, often uncanny memories. Loves puzzle- or problem-solving, often in fantasy modelling; gets much pleasure and psychological relief from fantasied problem solving. However, commonly avoids own real problems by obsessing over fantasy problems. Dreamers, storytellers, can enthuse and enroll others and convince someone of almost anything. Many adapt readily to systematized thought-modes of math and science.


As you get the opportunity, please give some feedback on this brief walk through highlights of your horoscope - what things are most accurate, anything that seems quite wrong, anything that strikes you as important to your questions in particular. It's important that we understand you as a person before digging too deeply into how individual transits, etc. have worked out for you.

[Jim Eshelman]

You currently have a progressed Venus-Jupiter conjunction. From that point of view, your current state o mind makes no sense. It should be an unusually psychological upbeat, happy time in your life. This deepens the sense that your depression is a medical (physical, biochemical) problem and not simply your sad, frustrated reaction to your circumstances.

Going back to mid-2016, transiting Pluto had just finished conjoining your Jupiter and squaring your Moon. The former means that your Jupiter circumstances (aspirations, attainments, money, etc.) had just sent two years going through significant changes. The Pluto-Moon, though, means that buried psychological factors had gone through the same two years being unlocked and ripped open - that your psychological structuring had undergone some deep, fundamental changes. (Had the two years leading up to this involved a lot of strong drugs of the kind that rip open and repattern your experience of reality? Major life circumstances with a strong impact 2014-2016?)

Uranus had just finished opposing your Uranus. This is commonly a time that people take a look at their lives and strike out in a different direction, pursuing "something they've missed" in their life up to that point.

Saturn had conjoined your Mercury-Neptune over the prior six to 12 months. That would be depressive by itself, but seems to have occurred earlier than the time you gave. (This makes me think that something happened in the prior year or more.)

Your Solar Arc Mars exactly squared your natal Pluto in 2016. This brought your natal Mars-Pluto semi-square to full force. (See discussion of it above.)

[Jim Eshelman]

If we are to look at your solar returns, we would expect something that continued in the intervening years. There aren't a lot of things that persist that way - for example, the same natal planet moving across SSR angles from year to year. But I'll look anyway.

Your December 2015 SSR is mostly marked by Pluto exactly (0°04') conjunct your natal Jupiter. this is the "transformation of things Jupiter" I talked about above. It might have been an enormous, odds-beating success, or it might have been a tearing down prior success so you could start over and redefine yourself. There are other details, like an exact Venus-Pluto mundane square that shows dramatic changes in relationships (I'd have thought it would be a very positive breakthrough in relationships), but Pluto on your Jupiter is the main thing.

Your Dec 2016 SSR turned heavy and dour. Saturn opposite your Saturn across the horizon, among other things (including your natal Neptune being more active). Your Dec 2017 SSR has natal Mars exactly on IC: This shows you as the aggressor for the year and your Mars energies needing extreme expression. (Moon conjoined natal Venus exactly, on an angle, so much of this might have been through sex.) In your Dec 2018 SSR, Venus rises closely so Venus matters dominated that year (and a lesser, but still present, expression of your Mars), so that likely was similar but much more pleasant. (Something emotionally disruptive, separating, or confrontational marked that year about four months after your birthday, i.e., around April 2019.)

Your current Sidereal Solar Return occurred December 176, 2019, at 9:39 AM CET in Belgrade. It is an extremely positive chart.Both natal and transiting Venus are on angles, painting a picture of a basically happy year. - Since you have not been having a basically happy year, this, again, suggests a medical condition rather than matters in your environment or circumstances. Your current SSR also has a close Moon-Mars square, which can stir up all sorts of Mars (conflict, anger, aggression, sex, ambition) issues but would work within the framework of two angular Venuses.

I don't see anything that persisted in your SSR from year to year since 2016, but perhaps this will give some insight into individual years during that time.

[Jim Eshelman]

Turning to the relationship with your Leo-Capricorn friend...

I'll stand by my analysis of your charts at the top of this thread. The relationship is ferociously sexual, with her sexual needs especially targeted on your chart. It's easy to see why she keeps coming back to you.

But that two-way Moon-Mars interchange, while being hot and arousing and demanding, is never going to be easy and often will be painful. Given your description of events to date, I'm ready to call it a clearly unhealthy relationship. This doesn't mean there is anything bad or wrong about either of you, just that a lot of "bad and wrong" is going to happen periodically with the continuance of close connection.

Nor is there a picture of good long-term compatibility. Something as similar as luminary sign comparisons - her Leo-Capricorn, your Scorpio-Pisces - doesn't show anything intersecting or "locking in" a likelihood either of you will see or support the other. Since you asked for advice, I'll give it: Break this off. (You can take that advice or not .)

[Ph.Ars]

Good-morning, Ph.Ars,

Good morning to You too Jim. Hope that You have nice day!

Jupiter Sets at Dawn has given you sound counsel so far. I won't repeat it but want to endorse it.

I totally agree with Jupiter Sets at Dawn and will do as my best at this moment.

Your two main questions appear to be (1) What's up with the deep depression that has taken up most of the time since mid-2016? (2) What's up with this relationship? Do I have that right?

Yes, You are correct

Ph.Ars, I'm curious about three things:
1. Has anyone else in your immediate family had this kind of heavy depression (and similar feelings), especially if it began around age 40?

Sincerely I don't know, I can only presume that is in my family. My father have committed suicide when he was 35. He was alcoholic and domestic violence. After my mother left him with me and my younger late sister (she also committed suicide at her age 33 - drug addict). My mother deceased at her age 50 after 2 operations of brain cancer... I think that she is not having depression or maybe she doesn't show it

2. Have you had periods like this earlier in your life (I don;t mean brief "down" periods, but the kind of thing you've experienced most of the tie since 2016), or is this when it really started in your life?

As I recall, I have experienced similar "feelings" during '90's (96 - 99 approx.) My memory is blurry of that period but I think that was similar but on the different level (maybe I was younger and handle that with easiness) now is harsh (its hard to me to explain to You on english) I have feeling like Im going through meat grinder but many times, forward and backward and again... Sometimes I just wanna to curl up in corner in fetus position and cry out loud in myself...

3. Did anything happen in 2016 to start or trigger this, or did it seem to arise from nowhere?

I have gone through divorce in 2013 - 2014. Moved out from town where I lived from age 11 to my natal town. Maybe I have after effect but later started in 2016. I have tried to build up "new" life but it didn't work as I have on my mind (maybe that was a trigger)

You have a Scorpio Sun and Pisces Moon. Of the strongest themes in your birth chart, two stand out to me as most important: They may seem somewhat contradictory, but I'm betting they fit together in you and your character. (There is much more to your chart than these two themes, but they are the strongest (and they also tie in other important facts).

The first is MOON-JUPITER. You have Jupiter closely rising in its own constellation of Sagittarius, closely square Moon in Pisces (another constellation sometimes though to be like Jupiter and, in any case, not inconsistent with it). This is not pessimistic or depressive at all - usually thought to be the quite the opposite, up-beat, positive. I have seen it be pessimistic when life circumstances dash or destroy some great hope or aspiration, i.e., life suddenly shows important ambitious or dreams to be failures or illusion but, in general, it is quite upbeat.

True!

...when life circumstances dash or destroy some great hope or aspiration...

The second is a blend of SUN IN SCORPIO with your closest aspect, MARS SEMI-SQUARE PLUTO. These express many kinds of power. Scorpio has the Mars nature very pronounced, which is aggressive, assertive, sexual, even conquering in the approach to life. Mars-Pluto shows an extreme expression of force. (I'm over-simplifying to help sort through what's going on.) Mars-Pluto isn't usually thought of as depressing except it does commonly indicate difficulty expressing anger honestly and cleanly. It's not unusual for Mars-Pluto people to have their expression of anger repressed and shoved down by parents or other early influences, then to have difficulty ever expressing it freely and cleanly - feeling too much explosive potential of the buried anger, not trusting how to let it out - and then this unbalances them later. -- Does this describe you and your relationship to anger, or am I going down a wrong path? (Knowing this would help sort out the astrological patterns of your mental states.)

Mr Jim, You are master of Astrology. I have learning for about a year about Astrology (self thought on internet. I'm raising now money to take some school. Basically, I was "learning" tropical but this what have You see in my chart is totally true. Also I have paid some consultations but nobody have tell me this.

Something else worth noting is your MERCURY-NEPTUNE CONJUNCTION. It is reasonably close (the psychological force is strong) but it's in a weak part of your chart, as if a very strong psychological force is being denied expression. This aspect can manifest as distorted reality and difficult states of mind (or can find positive expression in intentional distortions of reality, as in artistic or literary creation).

My big passion is photography and I can express myself through it. Also I have started to write a "book" for many times but I'm not persistent in long forms and never made to finish it. Still trying to find my own way to express in words larger than a few sentences. My style is explosive, compressed and short. Also

...distorted reality and difficult states of mind...

sometimes happen

[Jim Eshelman]

Ph.Ars, I'm curious about three things:
1. Has anyone else in your immediate family had this kind of heavy depression (and similar feelings), especially if it began around age 40?

Sincerely I don't know, I can only presume that is in my family. My father have committed suicide when he was 35. He was alcoholic and domestic violence. After my mother left him with me and my younger late sister (she also committed suicide at her age 33 - drug addict). My mother deceased at her age 50 after 2 operations of brain cancer... I think that she is not having depression or maybe she doesn't show it

I hope (and presume) that the doctor you are seeing knows about this family history. Speaking as someone who is not a licensed mental health professional, your answer suggests to me that there is a genetic tendency to develop some kinds of mental illness in one's 30s. This makes me want, even more strongly, to encourage you to explore medical treatment for your condition.

Mr Jim, You are master of Astrology. I have learning for about a year about Astrology (self thought on internet. I'm raising now money to take some school. Basically, I was "learning" tropical but this what have You see in my chart is totally true. Also I have paid some consultations but nobody have tell me this.

I'm sorry you weren't served by other astrologers you consulted. This, to me, has always seemed basic of Mars-Pluto, especially in cases of depression. Astrologers, even when not trained to the level of mental health professionals, need to have a strong knowledge of human psychology: It is primarily a psychological field.

Something else worth noting is your MERCURY-NEPTUNE CONJUNCTION.

My big passion is photography and I can express myself through it.

This is a great fit! Framing reality for yourself and other people by how you frame it through your lens is a perfect example of how Mercury-Neptune approaches life.

[Ph.Ars]

Here are some brief interpretations of the most important signs in your horoscope:

Moon in Pisces. Most truly themselves when being someone else. Dramatizes a personal fiction; “big fish” confidence (self-important, airs?). Love having a “secret side.” Divas. Emotionally driven (haunted). Fascinated with the unknown. Religious thinking style. Faith, commitment to beliefs or vision. Judgmental. Hardened personal reality (stuck patterns).

True. I find myself in this much more than in tropical moon in aries

Sun in Scorpio. Requires freedom of movement and thought, to be unfettered. Willing to rebel, be outlandish. Sharp humor. Bold; moral courage; hard to intimidate. Non-disclosing, slow to show weaknesses; collects others’ weaknesses. Pragmatic, not theoretical. Favors action, abhors apathy. Phallic: Sexual volcanoes. [Your Sun closely aspects Uranus, which reinforces especially the freedom needs.]

True, especially

....Requires freedom of movement and thought, to be unfettered...

and

slow to show weaknesses; collects others’ weaknesses

Mars in Libra. Warm, sociable, likable. Independent, self-sufficient, survivors (slow to ask for help). Persistent, serious, intent. Interesting, odd (disreputable?), on the outskirts. Passion for social justice. The feminine thrives better than masculine (feminist).: Men struggle with gender expectations (some bullies). Substance abuse problems.

Substance abuse problems

{b]Mars octile Pluto.[/b] Normally congenial, mannered, even docile; yet enormous hidden explosive force (disciplined & available; untapped; or toxic & brutal). This must be expressed somehow (suppressing it attracts violence or assaults health). Resists control or coercion, defies arbitrary restrictions. Sexual energies explosive or rerouted into work (beware burn-out). In a balanced life: distinctive creativity, alive with a quiet, intense energy.

I think this is most accurate definition of me. When everything is balanced, I'm most wonderful person in world. If something is wrong and whole system is not way I have planned I become toxic and brutal and trying to find "victim" (part of me that I don't like and trying to keep down)

Mercury conjunct Neptune. Hyper-responsive to environment and perceptions, extreme sensitivity to sensory impressions. Magnifies trivialities, fixates on particulars (often perfectionists); thus, often uncanny memories. Loves puzzle- or problem-solving, often in fantasy modelling; gets much pleasure and psychological relief from fantasied problem solving. However, commonly avoids own real problems by obsessing over fantasy problems. Dreamers, storytellers, can enthuse and enroll others and convince someone of almost anything. Many adapt readily to systematized thought-modes of math and science.

I'm gonna start to learn more on sidereal and abandon tropical (just kidding, I think that both ways have their benefits) because that everything You write here is so familiar to me

[Jim Eshelman]

Pisces Moon does have a tendency to slip into feeling "victim." It takes conscious effort not to slide that way sometimes.

(Feel free to abandon Tropical whenever you want )

[Ph.Ars]

Your current Sidereal Solar Return occurred December 176, 2019, at 9:39 AM CET in Belgrade. It is an extremely positive chart.Both natal and transiting Venus are on angles, painting a picture of a basically happy year. - Since you have not been having a basically happy year, this, again, suggests a medical condition rather than matters in your environment or circumstances. Your current SSR also has a close Moon-Mars square, which can stir up all sorts of Mars (conflict, anger, aggression, sex, ambition) issues but would work within the framework of two angular Venuses.

I hope this

Solar Return occurred December 176, 2019,

is 16 December like mine in Solar fire?

[Graphic deleted]

I think that is gonna be happy year (as I said, some things have been nice from december).
SSR is 1 year active? From B-day to B-day? Or I have learned wrong?
Two angular Venuses? Do You think SSR Venus on Asc and Transit Venus on Asc and MC (Dsc&Ic)?

Considering medical conditiion, I will look for help on deeper level eventually consider taking some medication.

And last but not least

I'll give it: Break this off. (You can take that advice or not)

I will give all power I have to make go away...

[Ph.Ars]

Something else worth noting is your MERCURY-NEPTUNE CONJUNCTION.

My big passion is photography and I can express myself through it.

This is a great fit! Framing reality for yourself and other people by how you frame it through your lens is a perfect example of how Mercury-Neptune approaches life.

Some of my work that represent framing reality
Also some kind of expressing gratitude for such deep analysis and effort to help me

[Jim Eshelman]

is 16 December like mine in Solar fire?

Yes, same chart. Here's a copy that includes your natal planets. (I'll come back and delete the graphic later to save space on the server.)

Ph.Ars SSR.jpg

SSR is 1 year active? From B-day to B-day? Or I have learned wrong?

That's correct (though sometimes it's not exactly on the birthday - a day earlier or, as one moves through life, a day later - but you have it basically right).

Two angular Venuses? Do You think SSR Venus on Asc and Transit Venus on Asc and MC (Dsc&Ic)?

SSR (transiting) Venus on Asc, natal Venus on MC. (See the diagram.) You always have to include the natal planets which Siderealists always do on an inside ring.

And last but not least

I'll give it: Break this off. (You can take that advice or not)

I will give all power I have to make go away...

I think you will be happier. (I could, of course, be wrong. It's your life.)

[Jim Eshelman]

Beautiful work btw.

[Ph.Ars]

I'll come back and delete the graphic later to save space on the server.

I will find some places to host my pics to remove from server

Two angular Venuses? Do You think SSR Venus on Asc and Transit Venus on Asc and MC (Dsc&Ic)?

SSR (transiting) Venus on Asc, natal Venus on MC. (See the diagram.) You always have to include the natal planets which Siderealists always do on an inside ring.

As I understand You, in period between transit venus from Mc to Asc and other angular point is period when

has a close Moon-Mars square, which can stir up all sorts of Mars (conflict, anger, aggression, sex, ambition) issues but would work within the framework of two angular Venuses.

?

Beautiful work btw.

Thank You Jim, it means a lot right now

[Jim Eshelman]

I'm not clear about your unanswered questions in the last post. Please clarify.

[Ph.Ars]

I'm not clear about your unanswered questions in the last post. Please clarify.

Your current Sidereal Solar Return occurred December 176, 2019, at 9:39 AM CET in Belgrade. It is an extremely positive chart.Both natal and transiting Venus are on angles, painting a picture of a basically happy year. - Since you have not been having a basically happy year, this, again, suggests a medical condition rather than matters in your environment or circumstances. Your current SSR also has a close Moon-Mars square, which can stir up all sorts of Mars (conflict, anger, aggression, sex, ambition) issues but would work within the framework of two angular Venuses.

We have cleared that SSR Venus is on SSR Asc and also SSR Mc is close conjunction to n. Venus. I'm trying to figure out time frame of of Mars square moon issues. Is that in period between of transit (normal transit of Venus on natal chart) between conjuctions and squares on angular points or something else? I can't understand.

[Jim Eshelman]

It's in your Solar Return, so it lasts all year:

SSR Moon 21°42' Cancer
SSR Mars 22°54' Libra
r Mars 25°14' Libra

Moon actually squares both natal and SSR Mars.

So, first, the general effect is all year, until your next birthday. More specifically, SSR Moon progresses at approximately 1° per month (on the "day for a year" Secondary Progressions rate). Your SSR Moon was moving 14°02'/day, so it will move 14°02' during the whole SSR year, or an average of 1°10' per month.

Because the Moon is 1°12' shy of the exact square to SSR Mars, it would reach this about a month after your birthday. Because Moon is 3°32' shy of exact square to natal Mars, it will reach exact square about three months after your birthday. Each of these is within a 1° orb about a month before exact and a month after exact. (It's exact March 14.)

[Ph.Ars]

Thanks Jim
I will experiment now with this information that You give me

[Ph.Ars]

It's in your Solar Return, so it lasts all year:

SSR Moon 21°42' Cancer
SSR Mars 22°54' Libra
r Mars 25°14' Libra

Moon actually squares both natal and SSR Mars.

So, first, the general effect is all year, until your next birthday. More specifically, SSR Moon progresses at approximately 1° per month (on the "day for a year" Secondary Progressions rate). Your SSR Moon was moving 14°02'/day, so it will move 14°02' during the whole SSR year, or an average of 1°10' per month.

Because the Moon is 1°12' shy of the exact square to SSR Mars, it would reach this about a month after your birthday. Because Moon is 3°32' shy of exact square to natal Mars, it will reach exact square about three months after your birthday. Each of these is within a 1° orb about a month before exact and a month after exact. (It's exact March 14.)

Sorry Jim for being annoying but I have question and can't find on forum. Can I animate SSR chart around natal chart (like You have told me about moon and calculation) Is there some rate to enter in user proggresion or in user direction to see dynamics of angles on natal planets and SSR planets on angles and planets. DOes this sounds logic to You and does it have sense to do that?

[Jim Eshelman]

Sorry Jim for being annoying but I have question and can't find on forum. Can I animate SSR chart around natal chart (like You have told me about moon and calculation) Is there some rate to enter in user proggresion or in user direction to see dynamics of angles on natal planets and SSR planets on angles and planets. DOes this sounds logic to You and does it have sense to do that?

The rate is Secondary Progressions.

You can animate the transits or progressions around the Solar Return itself by picking Dynamic | Animate Biwheel, then use the Charts button to pick whether you want transits or progressions to the Solar Return.

You can incorporate the progressions to the natal chart by downloading and installing my custom three-ring wheel for quotidians here:
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=12

Then use this with Dynamic | Animate Triwheel. It will come up initially with SSR inside, progressed SSR in the middle, transits outside. Use the Charts button to change the inside ring to your natal chart.

[Ph.Ars]

In your Dec 2018 SSR, Venus rises closely so Venus matters dominated that year (and a lesser, but still present, expression of your Mars), so that likely was similar but much more pleasant. (Something emotionally disruptive, separating, or confrontational marked that year about four months after your birthday, i.e., around April 2019.)

I have read last night and today "whole" forum. I think that I found why last year was so "heavy". I blame on transit as tr Saturn which was whole year sq my natal Moon and conjunct my n Jupiter also later is semisquare my n Mer and later my n Neptune and tr. Pluto is whole year been in max orb of 2' from n Neptune semisquare.

DYNAMIC REPORT

Dynamic Chart (1):
Filip Arsic - Male Chart
15 Dec 1972, 08:15, CET -1:00
belgrade Yugoslavia, 44°N50', 020°E30'
Geocentric Fagan-Allen Zodiac
Campanus Houses, True Node

Radix Points:
Mon Mer Jup Nep
Transiting Points:
Sat Plu

Transiting Aspects:
Cnj Opp Sqr SSq Sqq

Selected Events:
Transits to Radix
Entering/Leaving Orb of Event

Report Period: 1 Jan 2019 to 1 Jan 2020, Time Zone CET -1:00 (Auto DST)

P1 (H) Asp P2 (H) EXL Type Date Time Zone Age Pos1 Pos2

Sat (1) Sqr Mon (2) (E) Tr-Na 10 Jan 2019 13:00:43 CET 46.071 17°Sg29' D 18°Pi29' D
Sat (1) Sqr Mon (2) (X) Tr-Na 19 Jan 2019 02:51:28 CET 46.095 18°Sg29' D 18°Pi29' D
Sat (1) Sqr Mon (2) (L) Tr-Na 27 Jan 2019 21:47:47 CET 46.119 19°Sg29' D 18°Pi29' D
Sat (1) Sqr Mon (2) (E) Tr-Na 21 Aug 2019 22:42:42 CEDT 46.683 19°Sg29' R 18°Pi29' D
Sat (1) Sqr Mon (2) (L) Tr-Na 15 Oct 2019 12:27:24 CEDT 46.832 19°Sg29' D 18°Pi29' D

Sat (1) SSq Mer (11) (E) Tr-Na 20 Feb 2019 11:07:11 CET 46.183 21°Sg57' D 07°Sc57' D
Sat (1) SSq Mer (11) (X) Tr-Na 3 Mar 2019 14:39:40 CET 46.214 22°Sg57' D 07°Sc57' D
Sat (1) SSq Mer (11) (L) Tr-Na 16 Mar 2019 18:09:18 CET 46.250 23°Sg57' D 07°Sc57' D
Sat (1) SSq Mer (11) (E) Tr-Na 14 Jun 2019 19:12:19 CEDT 46.496 23°Sg57' R 07°Sc57' D
Sat (1) SSq Mer (11) (X) Tr-Na 29 Jun 2019 13:41:49 CEDT 46.537 22°Sg57' R 07°Sc57' D
Sat (1) SSq Mer (11) (L) Tr-Na 13 Jul 2019 05:12:54 CEDT 46.574 21°Sg57' R 07°Sc57' D
Sat (1) SSq Mer (11) (E) Tr-Na 20 Nov 2019 09:43:15 CET 46.931 21°Sg57' D 07°Sc57' D
Sat (1) SSq Mer (11) (X) Tr-Na 30 Nov 2019 21:38:41 CET 46.959 22°Sg57' D 07°Sc57' D
Sat (1) SSq Mer (11) (L) Tr-Na 10 Dec 2019 13:03:38 CET 46.986 23°Sg57' D 07°Sc57' D

Sat (1) Cnj Jup (1) (E) Tr-Na 20 Jan 2019 04:03:46 CET 46.098 18°Sg37' D 19°Sg37' D
Sat (1) Cnj Jup (1) (X) Tr-Na 28 Jan 2019 23:49:38 CET 46.122 19°Sg37' D 19°Sg37' D
Sat (1) Cnj Jup (1) (L) Tr-Na 7 Feb 2019 04:28:22 CET 46.147 20°Sg37' D 19°Sg37' D
Sat (1) Cnj Jup (1) (E) Tr-Na 1 Aug 2019 06:58:52 CEDT 46.626 20°Sg37' R 19°Sg37' D
Sat (1) Cnj Jup (1) (X) Tr-Na 19 Aug 2019 04:34:52 CEDT 46.675 19°Sg37' R 19°Sg37' D
Sat (1) Cnj Jup (1) (X) Tr-Na 18 Oct 2019 04:09:26 CEDT 46.840 19°Sg37' D 19°Sg37' D
Sat (1) Cnj Jup (1) (L) Tr-Na 3 Nov 2019 21:20:10 CET 46.885 20°Sg37' D 19°Sg37' D

Plu (1) SSq Nep (11) (B) Tr-Na 1 Jan 2019 00:00:00 CET 46.045 25°Sg35' D 11°Sc17' D
Plu (1) SSq Nep (11) (X) Tr-Na 21 Jan 2019 19:36:04 CET 46.102 26°Sg17' D 11°Sc17' D
Plu (1) SSq Nep (11) (L) Tr-Na 23 Feb 2019 10:35:24 CET 46.192 27°Sg17' D 11°Sc17' D
Sat (1) SSq Nep (11) (E) Tr-Na 13 Apr 2019 14:22:33 CEDT 46.326 25°Sg17' D 11°Sc17' D
Sat (1) SSq Nep (11) (L) Tr-Na 16 May 2019 17:24:47 CEDT 46.417 25°Sg17' R 11°Sc17' D
Plu (1) SSq Nep (11) (E) Tr-Na 27 Jun 2019 16:35:51 CEDT 46.532 27°Sg17' R 11°Sc17' D
Plu (1) SSq Nep (11) (X) Tr-Na 9 Aug 2019 00:37:37 CEDT 46.648 26°Sg17' R 11°Sc17' D
Plu (1) SSq Nep (11) (X) Tr-Na 25 Nov 2019 05:14:03 CET 46.944 26°Sg17' D 11°Sc17' D
Sat (1) SSq Nep (11) (E) Tr-Na 22 Dec 2019 14:43:39 CET 47.019 25°Sg17' D 11°Sc17' D
Plu (1) SSq Nep (11) (L) Tr-Na 29 Dec 2019 14:33:29 CET 47.038 27°Sg17' D 11°Sc17' D
Sat (1) SSq Nep (11) (X) Tr-Na 31 Dec 2019 06:42:21 CET 47.043 26°Sg17' D 11°Sc17' D

*** END REPORT ***