Veronica

mikestar13 · Post by **mikestar13** » Fri Jul 29, 2022 1:29 pm

Wonderful experience and a textbook example of a sidereal astrologer at work. Bravo! At some point, you might explain that will still have agency: Magoo could choose to love Trump and/or hate Biden with sufficient motivation, but it would not ever feel natural to her to do so and couldn't be maintained without considerable conscious, continual effort, while hating Trump and/or loving Biden would feel natural to her and be far easier to maintain. Yet another case of the stars incline but not compel. For a persons with favorable aspects to Trumps' chart and unfavorable aspects to Biden's, the natural inclination would be the exact opposite.

It's of course possible to despise/admire a President as a person while admiring/despising his politics and policies. I personally know some Republicans who love what Trump stands for but think he's an a**hole.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Fri Jul 29, 2022 3:18 pm

Thank you Michael.

I needed that reassurance.
Having a day today with Mars and Uranus playing with Saturn and Mercury.....got more expensive car repairs hitting me and ugly feelings about myself and being a parent and my choices going on in my head, and my lack of options.

I suppose that I should count myself lucky that it is the car that is sick and not me. That the unfolding is that car needs repairs and that I'm not having a heart attack or a stroke of some other expression of this transit.
It hard though. I feel ripped in two at times between saying screw it all you want to see me make a gazillion dollars here....hold my drink....and walking to Costa Rica and into the jungles of South America naked the whole dam way without saying a word.

At the health food store I work at I have run into hordes of Tropical Astrologers and follows. Dozens. Daily. More then I ever experienced at any of the libraries. Most of my co workers espouse thier Tropical sign, and want to talk astrology yet its apparent they have never even looked up to see for themselves. They are believers in what they are told.

It really really touched me Michael that you called me a Sidereal Astrologer. It reminded me of how I went stalking a rockstar and stumbled across Jim, literally stumbling because I was dumbfounded by events in my life and the deep feeling that I was severely severely severely odd. I felt such a relief when Jim told me that I had a Scorpio Stellium and not Saggitarius.

When the people at work talk about astrology and I tell them that thier Tropical system is wrong and they ask how and why I ask them about Saggitarius and what type of person would a person be if they had moon Neptune juputer conjuct in Saggitarius. Most dont have any clue what I'm asking, but some have given extremely detailed Jupitonian descriptions.

My life experiences are not of someone with that triple conjunction in Saggitarius. Quite quite contrary. I have blood and lots of it, full house almost in Scorpio.

Jim understood my deep need to feel connected and not lost. Tropical made me feel lost and alone. Understanding the nature of Scorpio and how it expresses itself for me is hard and scary and terrible at times. Yet knowing that it is natural for me to have those deep dark scary parts....knowing I'm not crazy, or broken, or stupid, or alien...its reassuring, it instills trust and allows for me to create what I can with the aspects I have.

Imagine when Jim's book is published and it sells a million copies and everyone comes here to read more of our true history, and here we are with all this.... I totally believe in Jim and his work, and yours and Danica and Steve and JSAD, and everyone else, you all know your math and psychology and law...omg...and there is me.
The poster child asking what is this craziness....

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Sat Jul 30, 2022 6:03 am

V wrote:

At the health food store I work at I have run into hordes of Tropical Astrologers and follows. Dozens. Daily.

Interesting! Kinda the same thing happened to me with an "outstanding incident" SLR at a health food store. When a health food manager and I hit it off discussing only health food matters which she super knowledgeable, she asked what I did to occupy my retired time. I told her I was a passionate Sidereal Astrologer and spent tons of time on a Sidereal Astrology forum. After further astrological discussion it didn’t take her too long to realize who she thought she was with her Tropical Sun Sign but me differently with her Sidereal Sun Sign. Things were getting off on the wrong foot astrologically but I could tell she had a deeper interest in astrology than most. She asked me to read her natal with my Sidereal Astrology methods, so I went home with her birth data knowing she had been divorced 3 times at age 42. It just so happened she had a current “outstanding incident” SSR with Venus-Jupiter conjuction dead-on her SSR ASC. The next day I showed her this SSR and asked her what was happening in her love life. She said not much but a distant past high-school boy who she dated a couple of times had asked her out the week before but she strongly felt nothing was to come of this with a love interest. I told her Venus-Jupiter was hitting the lottery aspect in Sidereal Astrology with a SSR’s. Two nights later when she went out with him, he told her he fell in love with her in high school and was heart-broken when she expressed more interest in another boy, later marrying him. She called me and told me she was shocked when fireworks started to go off later that evening. They married a few months later, he a very successful artists with ironworks/designs, flying all over the USA to art exhibits, her his business secretary—loving her new world with her new mate. SSRs work in mysterious ways and just one “outstanding incident” SSR can change your world in a hurry, good or bad.

After the manager had experienced the fireworks with 2 years passing since her last divorce, she asked me if I would read for her other close friends who also had been through divorces. I told her I was not a conventional astrologer (my partile Sun-Uranus 90 dominating), but I would go back in the past with all of her friends and tell-em with “outstanding incident” or other prominent SSRs when a troubled solar year would have happened explaining to em that the SSRs I was calculating could not be computed in the Tropical Zodiac with their Tropical Sun--- not exactly true but this is how I present myself to Tropical Sun Sign folks.

Anyway, the manager’s friends had an interesting fun day revisiting their pasts with their prominent malefic SSRs. Two or three times I heard her friend’s comment while reading their past SSRs---“that son of a bitch”…..or “I will never marry again,” but this is typical for divorced women in their 40s.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Sat Jul 30, 2022 7:16 am

Thank you Steve, that really made me smile.

I am very grateful to you for all the help and insights you have shared with me, and your kind thoughtful encouragement and for just listening to me.
My mind is so hard to harness at times, so many deep thoughts and feelings that most people just dont have the time or inclination to get into. Thank you for reading and listening and being there while I struggle. It's so empowering to feel like you are heard and understood.

I'm a woman in my 50s and I truly feel like through the practical application of the tenets of Sidereal Astrology I have only now begun to truly live, that I am in control of myself and my life, and the Universe is conspiring for my benefit. Sidereal Astrology has gifted me with a deeper understanding that it is my attitude and choices in the here and now that determine my life and that I am not being victimized nor blown nilly silly about by my surroundings.

My father called me his little hurricane yesterday when he started griping about wtf is going on with all these LGBTQ crazinesses....And I furiously informed him of the historical data of androgynous births (and parents forced to choose a sex for this new born) and non binary people throughout all of humanity's history and how ignorant we humans are of the complexities of nature and our prejudice against things that dont fit cultures pidgeon holes. He had no idea and was blown away by the facts I presented.

I thought later that a moon Neptune jupiter conjunction in Scorpio square Sun was very much like a hurricane, huge hot wet spiraling seeming choas.

My sister invited me to come to Los Angles for my birthday next year, but I think I will stay here and possibly visit her in March when spring will be coming and I will be better able to go swimming in the ocean. The Pacific in February is very cold but by March it's not as shocking.

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Sat Jul 30, 2022 8:01 am

I thought later that a moon Neptune jupiter conjunction in Scorpio square Sun was very much like a hurricane, huge hot wet spiraling seeming choas.

Indeed! BTW, I feel a good synchronicity with you working in a health food store. Wishing you the best for your future with this choice.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Sat Jul 30, 2022 8:47 am

SteveS wrote: Sat Jul 30, 2022 8:01 am
I thought later that a moon Neptune jupiter conjunction in Scorpio square Sun was very much like a hurricane, huge hot wet spiraling seeming choas.
Indeed! BTW, I feel a good synchronicity with you working in a health food store. Wishing you the best for your future with this choice.

Thank you Steve. I am very happy to be a part of this little store.

I had a customer interaction that made me laugh.
I always greet my customers with eye contact and heart felt... how are you today,....

This man replied to me in a strange insulting tone but making strong eye contact
I'm living the dream...(happy) but how about you....

To my delight his girlfriend called him a rude arse and wtf did he mean by that and who does he think he is....

But I just laughed because this is my dream job, and it took me time to get it, but I did. I never quit and I never gave up hope that I would one day wear a grape cluster costume and sing and dance in a commercial helping promote my local business whose motto is Be good to yourself, be good to the Earth.

I could have gotten a PhD in Law and been a gazillionaire, and been successful according to Mankinds view. But My Sun is about a deeper meaningfulness type of success, the type that only comes from within.

Most all of my customers are just wonderful souls trying to do the best they can and make the healthiest choices they know how. Some like him, are souls that you can smell the fear and death in them and are brought in by a loved one hoping for a miracle cure for their beloved.

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Sat Jul 30, 2022 9:05 am

V wrote:

But I just laughed because this is my dream job, and it took me time to get it, but I did. I never quit and I never gave up hope that I would one day wear a grape cluster costume and sing and dance in a commercial helping promote my local business whose motto is Be good to yourself, be good to the Earth.

If anyone knows with their heart how to be “good to the Earth” it truly is you V. You teach me how to BE better “good” to the earth and its creatures around me.
V wrote:

Most all of my customers are just wonderful souls trying to do the best they can and make the healthiest choices they know how. Some like him, are souls that you can smell the fear and death in them and are brought in by a loved one hoping for a miracle cure for their beloved.

I understand V.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Mon Aug 01, 2022 7:30 am

Thank you Steve.

This September my employer is celebrating 41 years of business. I was 10 years old when a retired father bought a small trailer in the regional market to set up as an outlet for small local organic farmers and small local businesses to sell their products, as well as offer vitamins and supplements. His daughter loved Earth and all its animals and was a vegan. Back in the 80s it was hard to find options that were eco and animal friendly. He tirelessly looked high and low to bring to our community alternatives. The business has grown and moved 3 times and now has thousands of options for people seeking alternatives.

My sister Karen used to drive us there to get our local produce, and veggie burgers and cruelty free toiletry and eco friendly soaps and housewares. I felt as a child that this strange smelling hippie hangout that always smelled like a Dead show in the best of ways was a sanctuary for me, a place I felt understood and accepted and even celebrated.

I know people who would get a job there because it was the artsy place, the musical place, and the hip place. You cant buy my hoodie with the words Be Good to the Earth on the back. You have to earn it by working there. Everyone wanted a hoodie or cap from my store. Including me.

The store has evolved into a huge money making business, and unfortunately the owner passed a few years ago and his daughter pulled back so she could full time manage her animal sanctuary. Yet this newer generation is working hard to bring to light local alternatives, encouraging support to small local businesses and our local organic farmers.
We are not truly a health food store like Trade Joe or WholeEarth because our mission is supporting our local businesses who are practicing sustainability and eco awareness. You'd be surprised how many small businesses offer alternatives to common products. Most people think toothpaste is either Aim or Crest, that Tide is the only laundry soap, and only Charmin is squeezable.

You had mentioned in another post about your feeling of synchronicity of me working there and I appreciate that comment and insight. Becoming a mom forced me to make economic choices about where I spent my money and I could not afford 4 children and 2 adults shopping there, I had make compromises and at times I really felt disgusted with how far I seemed to drift away from my eco warriorness.

I am so happy to be a part of such a conscientious company, and part of a team that strives everyday to make great choices and take personal responsibility for where our money/energy goes and who it is supporting.

I had a great interaction with a woman the other day who works for a local musical venue. Her job is to cook and cater to the performers who come to town. She had this list of products that Wegmans would have laughed at, but I helped her get each and every item that this band needed. She said musicians are some of her toughest clients because they are consistently conscientious about their diets and their eco footprint. It felt really cool to know that I helped them get fed so they could sing and play and make others happy with their music. She said she doesnt shop at the chain health food stores, that my store always has everything she needs, cheaper and local too.

I've come to see that running a grocery store is actually about the same as running a library, except that in a library we hope they bring the books back and at the store we hope they dont. otherwise it's really just mnemonics.

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Tue Aug 02, 2022 3:29 am

When one can get into a working environment with more like-minded people around--the better for one's life in a natural flowing exciting way.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Thu Aug 04, 2022 8:18 am

I kid you not this just happened and I'm laughing at myself and thought you might like to laugh too.

I dont like drinking from cans so I never buy them, but yesterday at work we were gifted with free samples of a line of infused beverages.

So this morning I drank it, finished it at about 10:57 when Have a Cigar by Pink Floyd shuffled on to my music. Such a deep spacey voice in that one, and as I flitted about to recycling the can I noticed how squishy the metal was, compared to the stiff cans I recalled.

Well long story short, I did not know what an excellent microphone an empty tin can can be! Holy wow, the sound that I was able to project with just my voice, the vibration I felt in my hand holding the can!!!

Why I didnt think of that before! Now I dont have to sing as loud! I was so happy I had to show Sabrina!!

So at 11:03 with Jupiter partile the DSc I truly was happier then a pig in mud!!

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Thu Aug 04, 2022 8:32 am

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Fri Aug 05, 2022 4:36 am

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Fri Aug 05, 2022 8:25 am

My Lunar sets up tomorrow.

This past lunar I had to pay another 2k on car repairs. I am now the proud owner of a tenthousdand dollar 2005 Toyota Corolla. That's about what it has cost me since Orions car died last year. It makes me so mad how much car maintenance and repairs cost. Orion was very angry too, asking why? Why do they charge so much, why does it take so many hours of labor. Why cant he just buy the parts and do it himself.....

I told him that I wished he would learn how to fix things and do things himself, but that I just can't replace a whole exhaust system, I'm not physically strong enough to do all that type of work myself, I dont own the tools, that I would if I could, that Goddess knows I've replaced tires and toilets and pushed my Scorpio Mars as best I could but even I have limits.

I also told him though that money is energy, and it is to be spent and used and that I am happy, ecstatic even, to pay to have someone else do it professionally, correctly. I also said that I knew when I bought a ol run down car that I was going to have to put time and e energy into it, that I knew the muffle was bad and needed to be replaced and that for me not fix it and to just sell the car and pass it on, to drive it knowing it was polluting was not right for me, that it lacked integrity and that was what I think is a big problem in humanity today, people not cleaning up after themselves. That man who sold me the car knew everything that was wrong with it and lied to me just to get my money. He must have been starving and I hope my money fed him well.

So feeling extremely good about things today I stopped at the bank where they were just advertising a new promotional Credit Card. I have had a change of heart towards money lenders in my old age, not positive nor negative but a more neutral acceptance of the astrological facts they exist, so at 10:12 am Henrietta I actually applied for one!! I like the 4s on the angles ....It will take a few days she said to see (which I took as a no). But I felt really good dreaming about the security it could offer, especially with winters heating Bill's ahead. Time will tell, but I think this is going to be pretty good month!

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Fri Aug 05, 2022 8:36 am

Its unreal the high costs of anything/everything for these post lockdown times. Consumer debt on credit cards is skyrocketing to keep-up with these new high costs. I am seeing economic things happen I have never seen in my entire life.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Fri Aug 05, 2022 8:54 am

I was told that my exhaust system costs so much because my car is a NY car and because of NYS anti pollution laws to combat the shear volume of cars on the road here the repair shops are required by law to only use converters that meet the legal standards. He told me it would only cost me 400 in PA, which I personally feel with its Woodlands in jeopardy should be legally changed to NY and CA levels.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Sat Aug 06, 2022 6:55 am

I had been puzzling over synastry charts in which the other had Mercury in hard aspect to my Sun Moon. Its definitely been a strong theme In my relationship patterns. I feel like I deeply resonate with them and naturally understand them.

I caused me to reflect on my own personal needs and expressions, as it feels like the Mercury person needed understanding, that they have a message that they need to express and deeper...that they seemingly were misunderstood by the world at large and that I somehow could hear them, even the things they could not find the words for.

Yet that's me too.

I feel like I am such a chimera of chaoticness held together by a thin layer of skin, misunderstood, misclassified, mistaken.

and as I thought about my own unique need to feel human and connected and apart of....and I thought of feeling misunderstood and not listened too I had a happy memory of sitting in a tree as a small child with the little girl who lived across the street hiding from our brothers, and giggling that they wouldnt look for us up in a tree...

I was fortunate to have that little girl as my friend. She listened and understood me, she thought I was wonderful and always encouraged me and stood up for me and would beat the living hell outta everyone who was mean to me. She even punched her horse right in the head when it bit me.

Its gonna be her birthday soon and she is still my best friend and even though our days of being glued at the hip are over, as childhood waned and adulthood responsibilities took over, I know I can always rely on her to listen with a loving ear and encouraging heart. She truly is one of the most beautiful souls I have ever seen and known and I am thankful for her. She gets me.
Aug.9 1972 Rochester NY.

I think as humans we need to feel understood and connected. I am thankful that I have someone that understands me, and I am thankful that I met others to understand and experience thier Point of view. I had long deep conversations with her about everything under the sun, and it was a beautiful thing. I hope that those that have similiar synastry with me felt understood and accepted and known. I am grateful for them trying to open up and share thoughts and ideas. It's a beautiful thing to feel understood. I know my friend who passed always said that I understood him like no one else and that He felt safe to share his thoughts. I'm glad that I did that because he was a wonderful man who loved Gaia and Peace and wanted love to fill the world.

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Sat Aug 06, 2022 8:55 am

Veronica wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 6:55 am I had been puzzling over synastry charts in which the other had Mercury in hard aspect to my Sun Moon. Its definitely been a strong theme In my relationship patterns. I feel like I deeply resonate with them and naturally understand them.

I caused me to reflect on my own personal needs and expressions, as it feels like the Mercury person needed understanding, that they have a message that they need to express and deeper...that they seemingly were misunderstood by the world at large and that I somehow could hear them, even the things they could not find the words for.

Veronica, these are quite interesting observations. They sent me back to review my interpretations for Sun-Mercury and Moon-Mercury in synastry. They are actually quite different interchanges - different telltale markers: The one that matches what you are describing most closely is Sun-Mercury, for which I wrote:

JAE wrote:Communication is the dominant theme. Collaboration (purposeful planning) is common. Sun impels Mercury to thought and self-expression, ignites Mercury to pursue what they want to do, oversees Mercury's training, or otherwise adopts a mentor role.

Where you noted that "the Mercury person needed understanding, that they have a message that they need to express" and you (the Sun person) "could them," I've noticed that "Sun impels Mercury to thought and self-expression, ignites Mercury to pursue what they want to do," etc. Sun tends to see its role in the relationship as making Mercury express themselves.

We find some famous examples of this natural communication and, specifically, Sun making Mercury express (or giving the opportunity). Think of Truman Capote and Harper Lee (who also were childhood friends), or Frederich Engels' Sun to Karl Marx's Mercury. Gary Duncan's Sun squared my Mercury.

This is different from the Moon-Mercury, which also fits what you describe: It is an abundance of communication, but specifically with the psyches intertwined, a near telepathy. This is the distinctive "we could sit and talk for hours" aspect where "one cannot tell where one mind leaves off and the other begins," with "mutual curiosities."

Off the cuff, I'd say the Sun-Mercury in those relationships is you getting them to express themselves, while the Moon-Mercury is you understanding them even when they don't have the words.

But you went further. You said you felt the Mercury person needed understanding, needed to be understood. I want to engage with you a bit on this. I don't see a "need for being understood" in Mercury per se. I'm interpreting your use of "understanding" in a larger sense than mere exchange of data, an emotional sense that includes a more global comprehension. If this is indeed what you meant, it's closer to anti-Mercury: Mercury is minute, particular, "trees not forests," while understanding is more of "forest first, and it happens to have trees."

I see in Mercury a need to express itself, and in that sense a need to be heard, but not a need to be understood. (We all have a need to be understood, but it's not to the Mercury in us.)

You, on the other hand, as an Aquarian, have a very powerful need to understand people. I think there's a bit of projection here, because (with their Mercury aspecting your Sun) these people gave you an opening to express your Sun - to actualize your innate need to understand people.

(I'm being picky and precise here, I know - filtering out the individual particulars, trying to get at the astrological structure.)

Its definitely been a strong theme In my relationship patterns.

I was curious why this might be. I don't see Mercury aspects being very important in synastry usually - to the point where one usually can leave it out altogether and not miss much. (The real communication needs and themes of intimate relationships is lunar, not mercurial.) But, for you, it has been a strong theme in your relationships, so I was curious why.

I think I found it: There is something I used to do routinely in assessing a relationship, a way of seeing what someone needs in relationship. It boils down to writing down the 10 planets and crossing off the ones that are really strong in your chart - those that rule Sun or Moon signs, those on angles or in strong aspect to luminaries - and then look at what's left. It seemed to me that this shows gaps in us, "what we need" in the sense that it's a weaker or undeveloped side of us. (For example, Saturn is almost missing in my chart, it's so weak, so I started my relationship life with strongly Saturn women who also had their Saturn tied to my luminaries.)

In your case, Mercury is about as weakly placed as a planet can be 1° from a cadent cusp. Though strongly aspected, by itself it is very weak (Mike's program gives it an angularity score of 0%). The only thing to give it strength as part of your basic character is a wide Moon-Mercury mundane square, which still leaves Mercury the weakest planet in your chart.

I submit that your psyche is wired so that you need Mercury more than any other planet because it is the least expressed, least manifest planet in your chart. At least, that would be the conclusion if my "look for what your chart lacks" theory is correct.

Aug.9 1972

Yes, her Sun exactly opposes your Mercury - which also means it exactly squares your Saturn. What I find remarkable with this birth data, though - what was always going to make her one of the best friends one could ever want in the world for you especially - is her Venus-Jupiter opposition across your horizon. Her Venus is 3° from your Ascendant, her Jupiter within 1° of your Descendant. She was always going to love you... always be a source of blessing to you.

I think as humans we need to feel understood and connected.

Agreed. FWIW, I question whether Mercury does this connecting. It does certainly give us a means of connecting, but I do think the real connection comes from Moon, a deeper connection, a real merging of psyches and souls. You don't give your friend's birth time: Do you know it? What I miss in the chart I case for noon on her birthday (with no angles) is a lunar connection. (It's quite surprising that it isn't there. My chance was she born very late in the day with Moon in Leo opposite your Sun and square your Moon etc.?)

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Sun Aug 07, 2022 5:49 am

Wow, what a humbling post.
0%Mercury?
ouch

My first reaction to your very on point comment of me projecting my Aquarianess and my Mercury being my weakest, was tears...thinking what a horrible person I am to get into relationships based on unhealthy psychological practices (projecting my traits onto another and not truly experiencing them as a individual is something I have constantly tried to bring to awareness and understanding) and how in a way I used these people to compensate my own feelings of lack (filling in and giving me stronger Mercurialness then I was born with). Both thoughts made me feel like a manipulative selfish user.

So I sat with that ugly feeling about myself for a minute, and then another thought arose which made me smile.

Wow!! What an utterly magical wonderful beautiful world we live in!! How amazing that the Universe surrounded me with souls who would help me, give me strength and encouragement and listen and love me.
I realized that even though it is very clear that I did in someway form intentional relationships with these people, I was completely unaware of what I was doing and why. I was preschool age meeting two of them. I had no idea that I had a weak mercury and needed to find a synastry with another to compensate, I just did what felt natural. There were plenty of other playmates I could have played with, but I liked who I liked, and they too could have played with others but they choose to spend time with me! If I was a horrible leech they wouldnt have hung around, they would have distanced themselves.
What a breathtaking wonder it is that seemingly the whole universe conspired to have a little girl move in who would uniquely complement my chart and provide what I needed to be heard, so I could voice my thoughts. How utterly amazing that years later that same girl would cause me to travel out of town and meet another who again filled a need.....Its just humbling and mind boggling.

Well, I got 0%Mercury. It's my weakest planet. It is challenging to not take that hard, to feel less, inadequate, not complete, needing improvement.....as a child in my big choatic family I did not feel heard, feel that I had any say in anything and that my life was driven by others. Yet now, in my own life with my children and my job and here and my social media....I do feel heard and listened too. I struggle to express my deep feeling and thoughts, but I do find healthy and constructive outlets and language and try my best to share my own unique voice to the choir of the Universe.

My friend doesnt know her birth time and it's not on her BC, so I'm sorry we just dont know where her moon and angles really are. Deep down She is the bravest person I ever met, so I'm inclined to say she has a Leo moon, yet she is also the most nurturing loving woman...so Cancer is possible too.

This conversation has been very eye opening for me. I feel so lucky that I had those relationships because they helped me survive and live and get by the day to day grind that can be so overwhelming.

Maybe the Universe hasn't set me up a moon moon connection yet because I just wasnt ready for that deeper connection until I was able to see that I am not lacking anything even with 0 Mercury strength. Mercury is there, I have it and I'm doing pretty darn good just experiencing myself by myself. I am blessed that the Universe conspired to lead me to you Jim, and though our moons arnt in aspect I do deeply love you in my own unique way.

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Sun Aug 07, 2022 8:56 am

Essentially all human relationships are formed based on projections - on seeing something of ourselves (unexpressed) reflected in the mirror of another. Isn't Venus' glyph a hand-mirror, after all?

A lot of relationships never grow past this. Some psychologists express this by saying that we all have "hooks" reaching out into the world and we connect where our hooks latch onto each other - or (one I've used) we are each puzzle pieces and we connect where our uneven gaps and bulges fit someone else's bulges and gaps.

I like to explain reciprocal projections as, "I'll show you yours if you'll show me mine." We're mirrors for each other.

The biggest challenge in most close, enduring relationships is the point where we start to grow out of that - relax the projections - and, for the first time (a rare thing) actually see the other person for what they are. Wow, that's the point where you have even the slightest chance of knowing whether you love the person you've been related to, or just your own reflection in them. The initial spell is broken: Do you actually love who has been there all along? (At this point, most relationships break up.)

We are puzzle pieces: Our nooks and crannies fit someone else's crooks and nannies just so.

0% Mercury has to do with its angularity, it's tendency to outward expressiveness. (BTW, I score 0% Venus and Pluto.) Your Mercury doesn't rule either luminary sign (you're not a Virgo or Gemini), it is about as far from an angle as a planet can get, and its only connection to your luminaries is a wide mundane square to your Moon (about 6°) that most astrologers wouldn't even notice.

Furthermore, the planets that ARE strongest in your chart include planets like Neptune and Jupiter that are or a more or less opposite nature to Mercury. This emphasizes other needs in you than Mercury needs.

"Weak Mercury" in this sense (in any sense) doesn't mean, for example, that you're not smart. Intelligence has nothing to do with Mercury: It's a solar thing. It's your foreground Sun (especially in Aquarius). Rather than intelligence, Mercury is about intellect, about the pure, computer-like transfer to data units: It's angularity shows how strong our information needs are compared to other needs we have (that we all have).

Disclaimer: From knowing you, I think your information needs are much greater than these numbers are describing. You've always loved books, you love engaging people and learning new things, etc. That's my honest opinion of you. But your chart suggests that's your single weakest need (or the ten categories of needs we all have), which suggests to me that your need to connect with, engage, and communicate with people isn't Mercurial at all, but lunar: a need to really communicate (past the boundaries that normally divide our psyches), not just exchange data units with each other. - There also is a theory (that would make this all moot) that we should, all along, have been regarding Mercury as exalted in Aquarius - that Aquarius isn't just like Uranus but is like Mercury + Uranus. That theory, if true, would make this whole conversation about why you are attracted especially to Mercury interchanges moot.

We all have the same great needs. Our commonality is that we all have the same major needs, while our individuality is that they are all in a different mix - some needs stronger in each of us, some needs weaker in each of us, all the parts shuffled up a bit. We can understand ourselves and our link to the rest of the human race by recognizing that we're made up as the same parts as everybody else, just put together differently.

If you're interested, here's the way I would rank your different need intensities based on your chart. (If Mercury should be exalted in Aquarius, change its number to 90, right in the middle.) These are the same basic needs everyone has.

99% - Pluto (authenticity & solitude needs)
98% - Neptune (reality-forging & absorption-merging needs)
97% - Jupiter (ambition needs)
95% - Mars (power needs)
93% - Saturn (material needs)
92% - Moon (response & adaptation)
90% - Uranus (freedom & renewal needs)
87% - Sun (individuation needs)
66% - Venus (affection needs)
30% - Mercury (information needs)

In contrast, here are my numbers: Same parts, different arrangement.

97% - Moon (response & adaptation)
90% - Mercury (information needs), Uranus (freedom & renewal needs)
60% - Sun (individuation needs)
46% - Neptune (reality-forging & absorption-merging needs)
45% - Mars (power needs)
36% - Jupiter (ambition needs)
23% - Saturn (material needs)
0% - Venus (affection needs)
0% - Pluto (authenticity & solitude needs)

Veronica wrote: Sun Aug 07, 2022 5:49 am Maybe the Universe hasn't set me up a moon moon connection yet because I just wasnt ready for that deeper connection until I was able to see that I am not lacking anything even with 0 Mercury strength.

I suspect your friend has a Leo Moon opposite your Aquarius Sun and square your Scorpio Moon - at least by sign, and probably by degree.

I am blessed that the Universe conspired to lead me to you Jim, and though our moons aren't in aspect I do deeply love you in my own unique way.

And me you. (But don't miss that your Aquarius-Scorpio luminaries have a strong rapport with my Aquarius Sun and your Moon is 0°16' from octile my Sun. And your Venus squares my Sun.)

mikestar13 · Post by **mikestar13** » Tue Aug 09, 2022 11:36 am

Let me chime in on this. Background Mercury doesn't mean Mercury-ness is weak in you in the sense of not having it, it's more inexpressible, harder to make manifest in the external world. Which in ways make it more intense. So other energies are needed to bring it out and your relative lack of natal Mercury aspects suggests than Mercury synastry will be an energy source, whether with a person, place, organization, or idea. All else being equal, you will treasure any entity that helps express your Mercury energy. This processes is not necessarily conscious and it's about as far from wrong as its possible to get this side of heaven--it's what the Love at the Heart of the Universe meant humans to be. We have the same needs each in different balances, and we don't go though our life's journey alone. The are others who will help us along the way and others we will help. Sometimes one person is both -- it's not uncommon to find lovers and lifelong friends from among those who fit that description. Lord knows that's Terry and me up, down, and sideways. This feeling is quintessentially human. It may or may not be or become romantico-sexual. On the fundamental level, that doesn't even matter. The soul connection transcends whatever else may or may not happen whether in reality or fantasy. Your strengths are your weaknesses and your weaknesses are you strengths, just as it is for every human every born. You simultaneously already are and are constantly becoming precisely what Love wants you to be. May that which I choose to call God continue to light your way.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Tue Aug 09, 2022 2:12 pm

Thank you gentlemen for sharing you Keen insights.

Lot to think about.....
Jim I dont think its moot at all to explore the possibility of othe avenues, yet when I am truly honest with myself and this particular aspects meaning in my life overall, it brings out from my heart a feeling, a feeling that if I was to vocalize would be very very unsettling and uncomfortable some people. It goes much deeper then me just being bisexual. If I could articulate it safely I think the simplest way for me to say it is what I said to a coworker who asked why I was single, to which I said that maybe if I found someone who would let me paint there nails and dress up in a fairy costume with wings and play croche and have a tea party. .....
I have often thought that I would have made a wonderful man, that I'm not very feminine and I dont think at all like most women.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Wed Aug 10, 2022 7:29 am

If Mercury is indeed co ruler with Uranus, and my Mercury is then at 90%, that would make Venus at 66% my least expressed, and all of the remaining % at a very high %, most in the 90s.

It has been so hard for me to keep up with all the information that is out in the world. Our teachers and scientists and healers and activists are overwhelming me with their finding and studies and amazing discoveries. I just cant keep up anymore, and find myself skimming headlines and summaries to try and stay on top of all this wisdom.

There is something inside me that in a way knits all these seemingly unrelated and separate sciences into a sort of security blanket, an interconnected understanding that the finding of the geologist is related to the finding of the microbiologist and even to the poet's lament.

I feel sometimes as if I could by way of explaining, of telling about the deeper truths, of relating my seemingly small and insignificant life.....that if they listened to me and tried to see from my POV, that others would feel the unlimited love that permeates all things.

Yet there is this fear that I would be stricken down, as so many ecologists and social activists and artist are. Murdered. It is so scary to think that people are murdered for speaking truth and for trying to raise awareness and free us from erroneous superstitions and out dated ideas that do not hold water.

I had thought a while back about a heroine of mine who lived in a tree for years to protest thier destruction. oh, if only I could chain myself to the logging trucks or live in a tree to say stop this wasteful killing of our fellow lifeforms. But those days are past, I would have a swat team kneeling on my throat in a heartbeat.

I have thought and thought and thought about what I could say that hadn't been said before, or what I could do that hadnt been done before to make people realize we are all connected, we live forever, that what you feel and think and do makes all the difference....

and I had this thought about the butterflies in S America bring a hurricane by thier beating wings, the butterfly effect... and it made me catch my breath for a moment.
Did you know that everytime you inhale you bring into your body all sorts of particles, invisible in the air but there none the less. debris of the planet, cells from matter breaking down, elements from soil and water vapor. You breathe in and take into you all sort of alien particles and you body sorts them about and they filter through you settling here or there or being circulated overtime and passed out of the body... with each breath I too release out into the world parts of me, parts of my little Veronicaness, my cells and dna and RNA parts of me carry on the breathe and out into the world for others to breathe in. I'm 51, that's alot of breathes and a lot of little particles of Veronicaness out into the world.
Knowing that in each and every single person alive my breathe has mingled and been taking in, knowing with every breath I take I take into my being particles of others and they become part of me.....quantum entanglement to the max.

It might be a silly folly, but I dream that those little particles of Veronicaness, filled with my essence and qualities, rock the socks off of everyone, that somehow that micro micro micro bit of me that is amassed with information and love takes root and stirs inside of them and is a blessing and lifts the fallen out of darkness and gives hope.

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Wed Aug 10, 2022 8:11 am

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Wed Aug 10, 2022 8:12 am

Veronica wrote: Wed Aug 10, 2022 7:29 am There is something inside me that in a way knits all these seemingly unrelated and separate sciences into a sort of security blanket, an interconnected understanding that the finding of the geologist is related to the finding of the microbiologist and even to the poet's lament.

That is sooooo Aquarian. (As is most of the rest of what you wrote.)

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Wed Aug 10, 2022 9:04 am

Good, I'm glad it not just me.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Sat Aug 13, 2022 6:28 am

I had a peek a while back at my next years SSR.
At first look it seemed like a absolutely wonderful return (finally). I had thoughts of wonderful things and meeting great new people and all that wonderful big Jupiter on the angle.

but, that's not me. That's not my reality. I'm not a budding artist about to bloom, or a writer about to publish, or any sort of over achiever striving for the blessings of success.
I'm a mom, a caretaker to 2 souls who greatest wish is for them to be able to confidently live and thrive in this man eat man world.
I'm like a billion or so other single moms struggling minute by minute, day by day to just get the mundane things of life done.

I hate to admit it but I have an extremely high chance of getting cancer. My mom, her sister, my sister and brother.....and though I have tried to get rid of my bad habits, to change my choices, it's so hard. And honestly all this looking into understanding the world, understanding others and why they are the way they are and why our synastries are how they are....it wears on me, and I'm so tired lately and have trouble breathing so much that I feel again like that sickly child allergic to the world and not able to breathe the air outside without medical help.
I am so grateful for my 50 so years. It is a gift, life is, the biggest addiction there is and against all odds I have made it this far. But I feel like there are more of my breathes out in the world then I have left in me, and my children are still home needing me.
I am fearful that next's years SSR implies I am very very I'll. That seems to fit my life more then anything else no matter how hard I try to dream up options for its expression. It's not likely I will met anyone, I dont go out and I'm just to much for most people to relate too.
I dont want to die. I dont want to get cancer and waste away as Neptune crosses my As/dc. We all have cancer in us, it just doesnt grow and I feel like my immune system has been overworked keeping everything else harmful at bay, but I'm old and worn down now and it's hard to think happy healthy thoughts all the time when I'm in a world besieging me with attacks and adrenaline and toxic thoughts.
I had looked at my finances this month and had a surplus of money and thought that I would very much like to take a vacation and go out of town. I even requested the days off following my next lunar so that I could have a 5 day weekend. I miss dancing and singing and going to listen to music that moves me, and my favorite band is playing and I have never seen them live and it would be so awesome. Yet honestly the thought of being in a crowd of strangers alone all squished up is terrifying to me. The thought of driving 5 hours alone to a strange city terrified me. The thought that my kids might need me, that the money that I would spend could be better used for my family then just me taking a break.....
I have a life I dont need a vacation from. I love my kids and animals and dont need to get away from them. I love my job. I've lived each moment hand in hand with the cosmos as best I could each moment reaching halfway to meet life together.
I think that with my Angular Pluto in my SSR this year I need to rid myself of bad habits that are killing me, smoking, not getting enough rest and exercise, not laughing and being light and silly. I want to be here for my children for as long as I can.

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Sat Aug 13, 2022 6:41 am

V, do you know someone who may want to go to the concert with you? Everyone needs escape values to release the tensions in their life at times.

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Sat Aug 13, 2022 7:20 am

Yes, stop smoking. That's maybe even the starting point of the rest of your life!

As for the SSR, don't dread the Jupiter. Yes, occasionally Jupiter shows sickness because it shows getting better - including getting better from getting sick. We can, of course, always keep getting better, but there is wiring in our culture that we can't get better until we get sick. But, of course, this isn't the usual Jupiter result.

Jupiter also has one horrible consequence: It can make you lazy

. It loves leisure so, yeah, it makes you not want to work as much.

I think the main message, though, is that life will be easier and you will be more inclined to take pleasure from it. Finances will be easier. The world will put fewer demands on you. Transiting Jupiter is 1° from an angle, natal Venus-Uranus is strong, and there's a little transiting Venus - all benefics. Moon squares Uranus, which brings new, wonderful things. (It also aspects Mercury, so they are intellectual wonders.) The one sour note is a mundane Moon-Saturn square (and Moon hits your natal Mercury-Saturn about four to five months after your birthday for a short-term downturn). Overall, though, the benefics outweigh the malefics five to one.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Sat Aug 13, 2022 7:43 am

Last year as I was cleaning out my house, I came across pictures the my son had drawn in 2005 and 2006, pictures only a momy would be able to know what they were. My son, and all of my children, but my son the most, fell in love with a band and especially the singer who, like my son, seems to like wearing outrageously crazy socks. He drew me pictures of them.
As a mom I wanted to know about who my son liked, and when I listened to the music, really listened to the songs composition I heard things I had never heard before, outloud. I was blown away by the skill and craft of these composers, who I really never resonated deeply with before.
My son wanted to know everything about them, like people do when they find something that interests them, and so we would read articles and books and bought thier albums and even a baseball cap.
I read to my son their stories of overcoming thier addictions, their bad habits and learning to be healthy and it broke me, it just broke me. I was at the time living with a raging psychopathic alcoholic of a soul, a tormented human being trying to survive, like billions of us are, who found joy in drinking and drugging and consuming vast amounts of everything. The story of this band overcoming thier demons gave me hope that my husband might decide to make different choices, that his need to drink could stop. I was hopeless truly then.
My SSR for 2005 and 2006 shows pretty clearly to me that I fell in love with someone of my dreams and it wasnt my husband. And I did fall, and I still am because this man writes and plays music that makes my soul dance like it never knew it could. The whole band does, but he picks my heart strings.
I often thought that if we had grown up together, in the same place and time, that we would have been friends, that he and would have gotten along wonderfully, with deep conversations and funniness. He would have liked me. And if that is true as I know it would be, then he would not want me to drive 5 hours and be all squished in a crazy mob of men alone, to spend my money on him, because he would know I'm a mom and moms need thier time with the kids and the money for them.

My son and daughter had no interest in going, I asked. Orion said he would go to protect me, and didnt like the idea of me going alone. I have no one else that I would want to spend 11 hours driving with.

I think that instead what we will do, contrary to normal thinking, is go to Los Angels for my birthday next year and get that Jupiter off the angle.

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Sat Aug 13, 2022 9:12 am

I think that instead what we will do, contrary to normal thinking, is go to Los Angels for my birthday next year and get that Jupiter off the angle.

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Sat Aug 13, 2022 9:37 am

Veronica wrote: Sat Aug 13, 2022 7:43 am Last year as I was cleaningI think that instead what we will do, contrary to normal thinking, is go to Los Angels for my birthday next year and get that Jupiter off the angle.

I must sadly inform you that, if you did that, you'd just get NATAL Jupiter as your most angular planet.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Sat Aug 13, 2022 2:01 pm

yes, but I live with a natal Jupiter Angular anyways. And I will pick up that other Transiting Jupiter when I come home.

I do need to do give myself time to heal. I still cry over the loss of my sister, and I really do want to quit smoking and heal my lungs. I will be honest that a part of me wants to smoke because it keeps people away from me and distracts me and in a perverse way soothes and comforts me and I haven't found a constructive outlet for that smoking aspect in my chart that needs expression.
So first things first, I'm cutting back smoking and reading pages from my favorite story The Mists of Avalon when I feel like I want to smoke. seems an appropriate book for me to use to help me overcome my bad habit.
It would be fantastic if I was able to quit under this SSR with Pluto so that I do heal my body. This world is such a beautiful and amazing place filled with so many wonders and if I can get stronger then I could enjoy life.
I realized something about me the other day, I had been thinking about how there are grumpy people, mean people, very very mean people who do horrible things to other people, and how scary it was for me learn that they are out there. But you know who else is out there? Me, I'm out there, and people like me with big huge sunshine smiles trying to share some sun shine on a cloudy day.
My first customer today out of the blue shared her cancer survival story with me, 80 years old and walking in an mountainous hike to raise funds for cancer research, stopped in for healthy snacks before her trip. She had no idea that my mind was swimming in thoughts of my own cancerousness, yet there she was, inspiring me to tears at my cash register.
I want to be that old wrinkly woman one day telling the world to never give up and keep hope alive and keep shooting for the moon because even if you miss you end up in the stars.

mikestar13 · Post by **mikestar13** » Mon Aug 15, 2022 3:19 pm

Veronica, I don't know if this is relevant, and I have my doubts about astomancy. But before I read this thread, I found myself thinking of you and wondering what would be a good path for you right now. So I formulated a question and calculated the chart of the moment, then focused on the factors that struck my intuition as significant. Mercury on MC in ninth house wide opposition with Neptune in fourth house. Moon is Pisces. And the message distilled down to

open your mind, flee delusion but embrace fantasy.

Does that ring true to you in any way? I have noticed and am impressed to see how much your mind has opened since you've been here, but I'm more interested in the delusion/fantasy duality. You may not find anything useful here, but I wanted to share.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Tue Aug 16, 2022 8:03 am

Thank you Mike for your thoughts and words.
I read this post first thing this morning when my head was still a bit fuzzy from sleep.
I just got done looking up the etymological meanings for delusion/ delude and fantasy so that I could clearly understand what your message truly is saying.
To delude is an intentional act of deceit, where as fantasy comes from the PIE root to shine, to have an illusionary appearance.

I had two experiences yesterday afternoon at work that resonate with your reading...the first one was in which I was asked why a certain coworker was not helping clean up a mess....to which my mind in the past would Champion a million reasons, projecting my own hard work ethic inappropriate/inaccurately onto others....I simply replied after a moments pause that Some things are a mystery and we will not not why and we have to be content in accepting that there are mysteries in the world that we will never get a true answer for. I wasnt going to delude myself that she was busy elsewhere, she just didnt want to clean up a broken jar of peanutbutter.

The second incident occurred when I was tasked with cleaning the bathrooms. The motion detector in the one lav would just not acknowledge my existence, that darn light would not turn on for me no matter how I moved about, but promptly turned on for everyone else, it was as if I was a ghost a phantom.

So thank you for helping me sort out the difference between those two seemingly similar words that actually have very opposite meanings. I spend a lot of time trying to correct my erroneous thoughts when they filter through in my mind. I will even say outloud to myself, no Veronica that's not true, this is the truth....for example when I make a mistake and feel incompetent...I'll say no Veronica you are very competent in many things and everyone makes mistakes that just human.

I do not resonate with the word flee honestly. I'm not one to mindfully flee, I'm more one to dig in my heels and put up my fists for a fight, yet experience has shown that that impulse has not served me very well in the past and has made certain things worse, being that acting like that comes from the ego, I'm right your wrong type of thinking.

I think for example that I delude myself when I say simply that I am a mom, I'm also a sister and a daughter and a niece and an Aunt and a friend and those relationships are living and part of me and the world and while I can shut myself off from those relationships and focus just on being a mom, that is not healthy. I know when I was in intimate relationships in the past I was unhappy because I felt as if I was only a sexual object and a possession, that I was not seen as a poet or painter or gardener, a niece and a sister, that the relationships in a way wanted to strip me of those other vital aspects of my being. And I know in a way I only saw my partners in limited roles, even though I know I did try an encourage them to explore and express themselves in thier other roles/interests.

I have to get ready for work now, not sure what can be done about that darn motion light that doesnt see me, but today is not my turn to clean the lavs. Thank you again for your kind thought you have given me lots to contemplate. As for embracing fantasy.....I'm just gonna shine my light and and be the best I can today. It's a beautiful summer day in upstate NY.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Tue Aug 23, 2022 7:40 am

Today is my demiSSR, Thanks to you Patrick for prompting me to to look at it by sharing your own.

My year so far has been extremely solitary, more so then ever with my sister gone.

I have been wrestling with my part in the break down of my marriage, and the extreme situations that manifested during 2005-13. I've really struggled to come to grips with how my synastry with my exhusband had a huge influence on the whole family and how in a very real way my presence made things much worse.

It's hard to talk about.
I recall how dumbfounded I was in 2012 when after years of trying to build a healthy environment for my family, the police came and accused my ex husband of molesting his daughter. How such a thing could have been going on under my watch....and how I didnt know who to believe.
I still dont.

This spring will be 10 years since I broke and couldnt cope anymore with how I was living and the environment my children were in. I recall how it was Orion who locked his father out of the house and told me to call the police.

Friends, my life now is so wonderful in so many ways, so beautiful and calm and peaceful and happy. I was so messed up and sick and confused and lost and terrified for my life and for my children. and maybe I could have made better choices and learned to control my responses better and express myself in healthier ways and give outlets to my needs and vocalize my fears and insecurities more. But I really did try to make it work, to keep my family together, to get through things together as a family, but my ex just wasnt meeting me half way. He wasnt meeting me at all.

I'm afraid of my ex. I admit it. I'm afraid of his mindset and his needs and I truly dont want to be friends or relate to him at all, which makes me feel like a horrible uncompassionate soul, and goes against my Aquarian nature to love all life, but I just cant extend love, even brotherly Aquarian love to those who purposely deceived. Which though seems to mean that I too played a part in perpetuating the deception and am just as much at fault and to blame. I apparently still have a long way to go as a human being.

Anyways, this new demiSSR that sets up today with the moon rising across from my Venus will hopefully bring in a depth of understanding and self love and deeper love for my fellow lifeforms.

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Tue Aug 23, 2022 7:54 am

Veronica, as you probably know, I've become disenchanted with demi-solars. Nonetheless, this one is quite interesting and, I think, tends positive with Moon to your natal Venus-Uranus close to angles. That's the biggest thing in the chart.

Then there is the close and moderately foreground Mercury-Neptune opposition which also aspects your Venus - but this time mundanely. I'm not sure how those all tie in together, but the combination sounds good for reflection, reverie, on the matters you mentioned.

Your natal Venus-Uranus being emphasized two ways is the centerpiece, though, I think.

You are probably also feeling, for much of this week, the transiting Sun-Mars square that is slowly moving through (aspecting) your Sun, Moon, Jupiter, and Neptune.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Wed Aug 24, 2022 7:54 am

I know you had never gone into them much here on the forum so I never looked at mine, yet yesterday I was curious because I have been trying to sort through the Mists and find the facts about my life choices.

It seems extremely fitting that last week I started reading a book about breathing and learned about a practice called Tummo, and how its practitioners use breath to increase their body's temperature and gain control of their autotomic nervous system, which per the name auto implies it's out of our control. Very cool IMO how that book came to me now.

I reflected yesterday that in 2005 I really was at my ends with living with an active alcoholic. I really was ready to go our own way. I fell out of love with him, and I wasnt doing anything to keep me in love with him....and looked out and saw someone else who I believed would be a wonderful partner.

But I had been prepared to leave him before I fell in love with some one else. I had been prepared to just break up.
I might be wrong, and please correct me, but it seems like most people just dont break up to be alone. People seem to mostly break up when there is another, that they stay with someone regardless until they find someone else and then break up?

It seems to me that most people cant wont dont just say, I'd rather be alone, then with you......
maybe because that can be such a cruel seeming thing to hear for some peoples psyche. I know it hurts.

My ex couldnt believe I didnt have someone in the wings, he didnt except it, and would scream and be so mean insisting that I was having some sort of affair IRL with a rockstar.

That Angular Virgo Pluto I have sure adds an interesting twist to my Aquarius Sun.

mikestar13 · Post by **mikestar13** » Wed Aug 24, 2022 8:27 am

If I had never met Terry, I doubt I would have ever went to the time and trouble to divorce Sue. The marriage was dead to be sure, but Sue was content to remain married in name only, and without having found a real motivation, I wouldn't have spent over $500 I couldn't really spare and wrangled with paperwork for months on end. I'm sure it's common enough to be the statistical norm for a new relationship to be the occasion (very often not the cause) of a breakup.

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Wed Aug 24, 2022 8:32 am

mikestar13 wrote: Wed Aug 24, 2022 8:27 am I'm sure it's common enough to be the statistical norm for a new relationship to be the occasion (very often not the cause) of a breakup.

Well stated. (You sound like a man who has lived life and observed life.)

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Wed Aug 24, 2022 8:48 am

Thank you for that very clear observation.
I see myself a bit in reflecting on my first long term relationship, which wasnt dead but had grown into something I did not want to be a part of anymore, and I wanted to grow in other directions.

mikestar13 · Post by **mikestar13** » Wed Aug 24, 2022 4:12 pm

Not yet dead but your heart was telling you it should be. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. Make no mistake, Sue and I loved one another going into the relationship, and struggled for two decades to make it work. But there were fundamental ways our souls didn't fit together--and I knew it well before it knew it, if your understand my meaning--which I strongly suspect you do, Veronica.

With Terry, the relationship has always seem natural in a way no other ever has. It feels simultaneously brand new and like we've been together forever. I have the intuition the Universe will send you someone someday, but know you have it in you to be happily single if my intuition is wrong. My prayer is that if someone does get sent your way, that they treasure you for who you are and reciprocating will come naturally to you.

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Thu Aug 25, 2022 6:10 am

I ditto Mike's words V.

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Thu Aug 25, 2022 6:28 am

Mike, the main features of your synastry with Sue was her Saturn on your Midheaven and her Venus-Mars on your Saturn. Then your Mars-Saturn opposition fell along her meridian square her rising Uranus-Pluto. That's rough no matter how you cut it!

But Mr. Aries Moon does like his Libra women

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Thu Aug 25, 2022 9:15 am

That is a beautiful prayer. Thank you.

I recall telling someone once in the midst of feeling attacked for being myself, my friendliness towards others misconstrued as sexual advances or sexual readyiness.....that the entire universe conspired to bring life to me and the characteristics I embody, and that I am how I am because the Universe needed me, and likes me just the way I am. Just like it does for all things.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the biggest egocentric manic in the world, but I do feel like a treasure, as something wonderful and unique and special, and I feel all life is also a treasure and equally wonderful and special and unique, and if I dont scream out I Love Me, I'm great....then life gets homogenized, and diversity and liberty are blended up into a pale grey broth.

I dont want to be broth, soft foods are not good for us. I think the pictures of aliens are really pictures of what humans will turn into if we keep feeding our appetites soft mushy foods. I want a strong jaw and a wide nose.

I heard my coworkers talking about their fetishes yesterday, feet, eyes, shoulders, leather, silk...got me thinking about how I might be someone else's fetish, how the totality of me might be just what someone else really needs and how that might be to have someone feel that way towards me. It was interesting to feel, it was scary in a way. In a good way.

so maybe, time will tell.
I'm just going to try to be the best Veronica I can be right now and love my life and this world and shine my little light like only I can.

Today is going to be especially grand because I get to sing and dance to my favorite music and clean my house and cook my family some food and enjoy all the wonders that are around me. My Favorite band has a new single out, Tippa My Tounge and thinking about all those biochemical we humans have on our tounges that we share when we kiss is just a wonder of wonders!

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Thu Aug 25, 2022 9:32 am

Veronica wrote: Thu Aug 25, 2022 9:15 am I heard my coworkers talking about their fetishes yesterday, feet, eyes, shoulders, leather, silk...got me thinking about how I might be someone else's fetish, how the totality of me might be just what someone else really needs and how that might be to have someone feel that way towards me. It was interesting to feel, it was scary in a way. In a good way.

From some singles groups for which I did programs in the '70s and '80s, we learned that the Venus sign very often shows fantasies and fetishes especially in terms of body parts identified, but also other themes of the sign. (Sagittarius rules the shoulders, upper arms and chest, but sometimes flips to the thighs.) - My earliest identified reaction of this scale (with Venus in Scorpio: the throat) were women wearing choker collars (and preferably nothing else; but the effect was nearly as strong if they were fully dressed).

mikestar13 · Post by **mikestar13** » Thu Aug 25, 2022 10:52 am

Veronica, that "egocentric maniac" is simply a normal healthy self-esteem, poking its head out from under the trauma you've known--in other words, a typical human being. If there is one lesson astrology has taught me, each of us us is simultaneously utterly unique and absolutely equally human, born of the same universe. Own it and glory in it. You've paid the price for it, and would have whether you accept yourself or not. Be at peace with the Goddess, whatever you conceive Her to be. The Love at the Heart of the Universe loves you.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Thu Aug 25, 2022 12:35 pm

Orion just asked if it was okay with me if he moves to **** to work a cash gig removing insulation with his best friend. Conversation ended at 3:27.
I knew it was coming.
I'm glad he has the self confidence to try such a big move.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Fri Aug 26, 2022 5:42 am

I wanted to share a song that I have loved for almost 20 years now. It came out in 2002, dont know when it was written exactly but regardless......I've held the melody in my heart, thinking of my little world with my children and knowing that one day they would leave me and how I was going to do my very best to create the perfect weather for them inside my own home, and to simply enjoy each moment I have with them to the best of my ability. And I have.
I fell in love with a Zephyr once along time ago, I wanted to name Orion Zephyr, but he was Orion.
This is such a beautiful song, I dont know how people can make such beautiful things. To think that four gentlemen wrote such a tender loving soft and heartfelt song.....I'm just so thankful for it, everytime I hear these chords I remember all the Joy's of watching my little ones grow and explore their world, I am truly beyond blessed to have had that, to have been a part of that time.

The Zephyr Song by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
https://youtu.be/0fcRa5Z6LmU

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Fri Aug 26, 2022 7:33 am

I think you already knew that this was a year of transitions. Your Solar Return has transiting Pluto 0°06' from Descendant, natal Pluto 1°26' from IC, and the two in mutual (mundane) square 1°20'. While there are other strong things in your SSR (especially the 0°18' Venus-Mars conjunction atop natal Venus), nothing is stronger than these two planets.

We use all sorts of "transition" words for Pluto. Over the last few years, my favorite metaphor for Pluto in predictive astrology is a one-way door between two rooms. One room is our world, reality, and identity as we currently know it. The other room is our world, reality, and identity as we're about to know it. The transiting Pluto presence is a door we walk through with no way to walk back to the room we just left. (We're in the new room, the new life or reality, and that's that.)

This is why I use the word "irrevocable" when I talk about Pluto transits or transiting Pluto angularities. You can't revoke them. There's no going back. The past is the past. - This was the understanding that let me start clarifying the difference between Pluto and Uranus, which seem so similar in so many ways (even though they arise from significantly different motives). Uranus is simply change: You can walk back and forth between the two rooms, wander into other rooms, redecorate the rooms, move furniture between the two rooms, etc. But with Pluto, it's simple: You walk through a door into a new room and there is no backing out of it: There is only going forward.

In this case, if the individual angles have meanings (it often seems as they do, though I admit that might be over-reading things), your current SSR has those two Plutos on IC and Descendant. We would expect the "line crossed" to involve relationships with one or more significant others (Dsc) and your home, family, and most private areas (IC). This pair seems pretty clear about your relationship with Orion. My previous attempts to summarize these angularities as standard interpretations are:

PLUTO conj. DESCENDANT: Dramatic changes, particularly in close relationships. Turbulent self-examination through projection. Issues handled by direct confrontation. Emphasis on competitive, separative aspects of relating; but a profound alliance is now possible.

PLUTO conj. LOWER HEAVEN: Changes in environment or family relationships. Substantial psychological changes. Private, reflective, freer of others’ opinions. You stand close enough to touch the essence of yourself if only you will. Benefit from self-exploration techniques.

Your August 19 demi-lunar shows many things at once, but the strongest things - the strongest angularities - mostly show sensitivity, feeling things powerfully, emotions that are deep, mixed, and confusing. Transiting Moon and Neptune and natal Moon and Neptune are the closest, strongest planets (all at 99% or 100% strength). You also have mixes of other things (both Saturns, both Jupiters, both Suns). The 12 foreground close aspects tell many pieces of the story; but the main point is that sensitivity, vulnerability, and churning emotions of many types are the key.

You have been moving through transiting Uranus conjunct natal Saturn. This is always a bit of a battle between the old and new - you tending to hold onto the way things have been while the universe says things will change. Interestingly, I've been thinking of the aspect since I had it over the last year as "clearing the clutter," which (taken literally) gives more space and room to move (just as it does psychologically). Before this transit is completely gone, you'll have gained more physical and psychological room to move and room to see what you want to do next.

Mars was opposite your Neptune 0°34' when you had the conversation with Orien. Usually this is an emotionally uncomfortable aspect. (It can take many forms. I doubt you felt attacked, as often happens, but probably felt confronted with many kinds of emotions, possibly thinking reality was attacking you.) Transiting Sun was 0°12' from square your Moon, so it was intimate and transitional ("phase change"). Venus was opposite your Mercury 0°32', so it likely was a nice conversation despite complex feelings.

Moon conjoined Venus 2° in Cancer: the meaning is obvious enough. Then the conversation ended exactly as Jupiter crossed IC: a nice ending.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Fri Aug 26, 2022 8:13 am

Thank you.

I am so so so grateful.
Did I tell you last year my dad gave him a motorcycle last year for xmas, and that in April Orion asked if he could get a gun? OMG my heart lives outside my body.
I never knew fear till I gave birth to him.

We had an open honest talk and he listened to my concerns and fears and emotional reactions, but after I aired it all I simply said that I know you, and I trust you and I believe in you and if that's what you need then I will do all I can to help you.
He is a wonderful young man and I know he has wanted to move away for sometime now but has been hesitant to leave me. He hates winter and misses his friend.