Jim Eshelman wrote: Sun Jun 02, 2024 9:06 am
Please provide full birth data of both of your parents.
My mother details are DOB 7 october 1963,TOB 21:00 am
My father details are DOB 15 october 1956,TOB unknown
Mother bossy and strict about my overweight,overcontroling,to much criticism.Tired of her behavior all over the years.
Father bossy,strict too,cold emotions,too hard to communicate and agree with him in general,tired of his lack of emotional connection.
Both has affected and still affect in a negative way my own life.
All three of you have Virgo Suns - an interesting family dynamic, and you should read the site's interpretation of Sun in Virgo and consider similarities and differences. Some of the greatest differences then will be in a comparison of Moon signs: Yours is Pisces, your father Aquarius, your mother Taurus. This may give you understanding of the individual characters.
We are limited in what we can know about your father's chart without a time. He is a Virgo-Aquarius (same as me) with Moon probably opposite Pluto and square Saturn. This (if close - if he was born in the late morning or middle part of the day) gives an emotional hardness and distance that probably comes from feeling early emotional loss, He also has Venus opposite Mars and has powerful emotions despite also being distant from others. He has few and mostly poor connections to your mother's chart (though his angles could show things we can't see without a birth time) but the one shining connection between them is his Sun conjunct her Venus. This is an aspect of deep friendship.
Your mother, has Virgo-Taurus luminaries, Moon rising, an exact Sun-Jupiter opposition. In contrast to your father, feels things very powerfully. She is also an innately kinder person. However, her chart has marks of hard, even brutal experiences: a Mars-Neptune conjunction square Saturn. This is in a weaker part of her chart so, though it ultimately expresses in her character, it seems more likely to show things that happened to her, or perhaps health issues. If her birth is a little before the exact hour, Pluto is on her Nadir, which would show early life separations or alienation (which she would have felt deeply if these occurred). My general impression of her chart is that she's a basically good person who has suffered a lot, and still has high hopes, has managed to keep her optimism and dreams.
Now for their comparison to your chart as you requested.
Your father's Sun opposes your Moon and squares your Mars. (He actually fuels your Moon-Mars traits, some of which are good (ambition and assertion) but which also are basic to your anxiety conditions. Sun to your Moon means that he is psychologically dominant in your relationship, that the dynamics are likely that he commands and you are expected to be responsive. Sun-Mars is combative (your conflicts feed his ego). This could be turned around if you found challenges to take on together ("combats" or undertakings where you are teammates); but it is probably easier to combat each other. His Moon-Saturn-Pluto is on your angles and Saturn (you were born at his Saturn Return just before age 30) so you experience his emotional distance and hardness intimately. (He is basic to the strong "parent issues" shown in your birth chart.) Some of these aspects include his Moon probably square your Saturn which favors practical things over personal things; plays up parent-child relationships even when it occurs between unrelated people (so a controlling kind of parent is quite strong between the two of you); he has most of the power in the relationship and is emotionally distant. Also, his Saturn is on your IC which repeats many of these themes: He probably openly expresses disapproval and needs to take steps to confirm he is in charge.
Again, this comparison would work best with coworkers, people who struggle together for a common effort or cause. Otherwise, you will struggle with each other. Mercury-Mercury conjunction shows that you can have common interests and explore your Viro curiosities together.
Switching to your mother's chart in comparison to yours...
This comparison is much better. Though there are problems (everything has problems), the contacts are much better. Her Moon aspects your Jupiter-Uranus: You light up her imagination. She has high hopes for you - wants you to succeed and thrive - may see you as the fulfillment of her own unfulfilled Sun-Jupiter dreams. Your birth was a bright, happy event for her (with Jupiter-Uranus transiting her Moon and angles). You are instinctively honoring of her. -- Also, her Mercury is conjunct your Sun. Adding this to the Moon-Uranus, I suspect she has encouraged your education (and you, perhaps, have turned her onto things that interested her greatly). Her severe Mars-Saturn-Neptune misses your chart. Her Jupiter is conjunct your Moon - widely, but still in orb (giving a two-way Moon-Jupiter). This has the potential to be a much more positive relationship.
Your Pisces Moon responds quite strongly to both of their Virgo Suns. Your Sun is in Virgo, too, of course - your character is built on the strong swing between reason and unreason shown in the Virgo-Pisces polarity. But this also means that you respond to other Virgo Suns strongly, feeling their dominance, hard to break away from connection. This is stronger with your father, since his Sun aspects your Moon nearly to the degree; your mother also has this aspect, but not as strongly.
It is harder for me to say what the event of your birth meant to your father - since I don't have a birth time for him. Pluto transited his Jupiter (that general time showed a change in his economic well-being and since of esteem in the community, something reinforced by other aspects). He had just completed his Saturn return so was psychologically poised to enter full adulthood, perhaps completing (by having a son) his idea of full manhood. - Mars squared his Sun, emphasizing this "I am now a man" feeling while giving him some sense of power and threat (the Freudian idea that the father is threatened by the new "competitor" for his wife's attention, perhaps).
Jim Eshelman wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2024 7:41 am
Now for their comparison to your chart as you requested.
Your father's Sun opposes your Moon and squares your Mars. (He actually fuels your Moon-Mars traits, some of which are good (ambition and assertion) but which also are basic to your anxiety conditions.Sun to your Moon means that he is psychologically dominant in your relationship, that the dynamics are likely that he commands and you are expected to be responsive. Sun-Mars is combative (your conflicts feed his ego). This could be turned around if you found challenges to take on together ("combats" or undertakings where you are teammates); but it is probably easier to combat each other. His Moon-Saturn-Pluto is on your angles and Saturn (you were born at his Saturn Return just before age 30) so you experience his emotional distance and hardness intimately. (He is basic to the strong "parent issues" shown in your birth chart.) Some of these aspects include his Moon probably square your Saturn which favors practical things over personal things; plays up parent-child relationships even when it occurs between unrelated people (so a controlling kind of parent is quite strong between the two of you); he has most of the power in the relationship and is emotionally distant. Also, his Saturn is on your IC which repeats many of these themes: He probably openly expresses disapproval and needs to take steps to confirm he is in charge.
Again, this comparison would work best with coworkers, people who struggle together for a common effort or cause. Otherwise, you will struggle with each other. Mercury-Mercury conjunction shows that you can have common interests and explore your Viro curiosities together.
The bold are near the reallity you described,a person dominant,psychologically dominant and with distance,headstrong,he causes me anxiety about life challenges and responsibilities,child of divorced parents form 5 yo,grow up with stepmother and his strtict father,also his mother rejected him at first and then she married other person,so from both sides he has two stepbrothers,with not good relationships.
I actually i think he ruined my childhood years,causing fears,insecurities and weak character emotionally.Hard to agree,to accept each other and live in same house,we are almost different in the way of thinking.From my side there is anger that he was never there to support my growing,he had probably high hopes for me.
Jim Eshelman wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2024 7:41 am
Switching to your mother's chart in comparison to yours...
This comparison is much better. Though there are problems (everything has problems), the contacts are much better. Her Moon aspects your Jupiter-Uranus: You light up her imagination. She has high hopes for you - wants you to succeed and thrive - may see you as the fulfillment of her own unfulfilled Sun-Jupiter dreams. Your birth was a bright, happy event for her (with Jupiter-Uranus transiting her Moon and angles). You are instinctively honoring of her. -- Also, her Mercury is conjunct your Sun. Adding this to the Moon-Uranus, I suspect she has encouraged your education (and you, perhaps, have turned her onto things that interested her greatly). Her severe Mars-Saturn-Neptune misses your chart. Her Jupiter is conjunct your Moon - widely, but still in orb (giving a two-way Moon-Jupiter). This has the potential to be a much more positive relationship.
Your Pisces Moon responds quite strongly to both of their Virgo Suns. Your Sun is in Virgo, too, of course - your character is built on the strong swing between reason and unreason shown in the Virgo-Pisces polarity. But this also means that you respond to other Virgo Suns strongly, feeling their dominance, hard to break away from connection. This is stronger with your father, since his Sun aspects your Moon nearly to the degree; your mother also has this aspect, but not as strongly.
It is harder for me to say what the event of your birth meant to your father - since I don't have a birth time for him. Pluto transited his Jupiter (that general time showed a change in his economic well-being and since of esteem in the community, something reinforced by other aspects). He had just completed his Saturn return so was psychologically poised to enter full adulthood, perhaps completing (by having a son) his idea of full manhood. - Mars squared his Sun, emphasizing this "I am now a man" feeling while giving him some sense of power and threat (the Freudian idea that the father is threatened by the new "competitor" for his wife's attention, perhaps).
Does this help? Please give us feedback.
She has/had high hopes and desires for me but she fell out,i dissaponted her with my weakness and failing to succeed in many areas of life,it's not a good relationship at all,she is bossy and strict overcriticizing everything about me,my weight,my choices,probably there is a better emotional connection,deeper than father,but still feel an enemy up on my head.
Both parents affected negatively my whole life,i'm very dissapointed with them,only if i will leave from their house will feel free and independent but this has to do with salary and financials that still are not so strong for this move.
Last edited by Element on Thu Jun 06, 2024 9:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
This got me wondering, with the parents birthdays so close their SSR may have some similar tones, but with out dads birthtime its impossible to truly know.
In my mind I wondered what we as astrologers would say if by chance Elements mom stumbled upon Solunars and reached out for advice about her life, and what we might say to her.
I believe one of the main things that would be said to her would be about possibly taking a vacation for her birthday to a place that puts Juputer or Venus on an angle. I feel that with the birthdays so close together that dad would feel the benefits as well.
I think,in my opinion,that is waste of time trying to change parents view or approach,same them trying to change mine so to agree with their line of thinking.
In this case,i lack financials,so to rent even a small house and leave toxic parents house that want to control my life and the way of how to live with their standars.
My mother 3 years now doing me body shaming/bullying about gained overweight,due to stress,due to AVPD,due to hashimoto disease and more stressful situations,but i cannot put limitations to her,is not going to stop and criticize negative.
My father is lacking emotions and communication,he was a kid of divorced parents,which his father married another woman,he grow up with this stepmother,then his mother married another man,he is hard emotionally for him in childhood years.
My mother in childhood years of mine,grow a figure to me for father so i fear to him,talk or be near him,cold man of emotions.
The only way as mentioned,is leave from this family enviroment,but i'm 37 yo and i cannot afford alone to rent a house and keep a car for example,nor i have the option do this with another person as there is no friends at all.
Element wrote: Tue Jun 11, 2024 7:43 am
I think,in my opinion,that is waste of time trying to change parents view or approach,same them trying to change mine so to agree with their line of thinking.
I think that's likely true. (It usually is.) It does seem a poor fit (at least now; maybe always).
HASHIMOTO’S DISEASE (Hashimoto’s thyroiditis) resembles Grave’s: The immune system attacks the thyroid and gradually destroys it, eventually leading to hypothyroidism. While there is no consistent narrow pattern, Moon afflictions seem at the heart of it including surprisingly frequent (but not invariable) Scorpio Moons referring to the throat (including thyroid). Typical public examples: Kim Cattrall and (strongly suspected but unconfirmed diagnosis) Oprah Winfrey.
Mot autoimmune diseases in general have afflicted Moon especially with inflammatory signals from Mars. Moon-Mars and Moon-Pluto combinations are the most typical, and each autoimmune disease may have its own particular pattern. You have the close Moon-Mars square - the most typical indication - and also a Moon-Saturn aspect. I have wondered how much this could be helped by simply reducing inflammation in the body, especially by an anti-inflammatory diet.
Overweight too remain last 2,5 years,doctor warned me 2-3 times to lose some pounds otherewise there is danger for prodiabet stage. But i feel weakness to control food.
It seems to me that you need to raise the willpower to take control over (and responsibility for) the elements in your life. Things are hard, but you need some successes to start building momentum. Start with something small and easy, if possible. Go for a walk to get some exercise, change your surroundings, and take it from there.
Meanwhile... astrologically... your birthday is a month and a half away and, this year, I'm not going to tell you to travel somewhere. In fact, you should stay pretty close to home! Your new solar return (September 19, 2024, 11:12 PM EEDT) has Jupiter rising, two Uranuses on angles, and a Moon-Venus opposition. This is great! The twelve months beginning with this birthday should be dramatically different - better - than the last few years.
This is also because Neptune is starting to move out of the opposition to your Sun. This has been the biggest thing drowning you for the last few years. It's not completely done yet - it comes back for one last pass ion January-February - but it will be under a much finer solar return (year chart).
I have thought for some time that once Neptune is through with you - finished dissolving and submerging old ideas of yourself and your direction - you would have the chance to move forward with new inspiration. Things are definitely changing this year, and that may be part of it. (A lot of practical things are changing! If you want it, this is the year to get out of your parents' home and begin living independently.)
There will be challenges when Saturn opposes your Sun in the spring (April-May). These need not be bad, they can just be hard - and there are rewards following them. They may involve hard work or sufficient but limited funds from moving out on your own. How this period goes depends on what you bring to it (rather than what happens to you): Saturn transit to Sun GROW us by demanding more than we think we can manage - and then somehow we become more able, more effective, and we get through it. (Again, this is in the larger context of a fundamentally GOOD year on balance.)
I think father affects in a negative way,our relationship is cold in general and as his behavior affected my in childhood years,it still affects my life in nowdays. I never had the chance just to leave parents house and feel free,independent,life is expensive out there to make it alone or without any kind of financial support.
I have childhood traumas,he doesn't understand his mistakes as father,i know he had a strict father and not supportive too,i know he had difficult childhood years cause his own parents got divorced when he was 5,he don't express feelings or emotions,he don't know what is a hug.
This relationship will not go well,i know and it cause me insecurity and fears.
If your father doesnt know what a hug is then I think you should tell him, very very often...." Dad, I need a hug." even if you are only pretending that you need one. Hugging is one of the best parts of living.
He is not supportive,emotionally,i know he had difficult childhood years and his relationship with his own father wasn't good too.
But will not give a hug or ask anything,this sucks a lot.He is responsible for some of my mental health issues i'm paying last years to overcome without success at all.
I need bad a better salary and a better stable job,to leave parents house and save my life from toxic family enviroment and parents who want to control my own life.
Element wrote: Mon Sep 02, 2024 1:44 am
I need bad a better salary and a better stable job,to leave parents house and save my life from toxic family enviroment and parents who want to control my own life.
I'm just gonna throw this out there.....
I went through similar feelings when I was younger. My situation was so horrible that I actually packed up a small bag of clothes and toiletries and lived on the streets of the nearest city for weeks. I was underage so I was eventually picked up and returned to parents by CPS.
Then again, when I was a Senior in high school I was really feeling bearded down on so I moved out and into my friends apartment and finished my senior year.
So I'm what might be called a teenage runaway. I had no job, no trust fund, no money but I had the right to say no I will not let you talk to me like that, I will not let you force me to do what I dont want to, and I would rather have nothing besides what I can carry then the life you are forcing me to choose.
Go live in a homeless shelter for a while and see if that improves your situation. It sounds like it wont hurt anything since things appear to suck royally where your at now.
I didnt die, it didnt kill me and in many many ways it was the best thing I could have done for myself.
Still struggling with my father to find a communication channel and peace,i think he hold me back and he isn't supportive to me,financially neither emotionally.
But i feel weakness to control food.
