Mike's natal chart + events

[Mike V]

While I know my birth data is floating around somewhere, I've never made a dedicated thread for my own horoscope - I've talked about it with others (notably Jim) so many times, in so many places over the last 9 years that I thought it would just be a waste of time.

I'm feeling like now would be a good time to make a hub for any ongoing analysis (I like the "everything in one place" sort of feel of other threads that have been in this sub-forum). I also have one major event I want to start with. That'll be the next post.


10:20pm
December 20, 1989
Ridgewood, New Jersey, USA
(Currently living in Hackensack, NJ)


Sagittarius Sun
Virgo Moon

Mars on IC 5*36'
(Venus in background 3*35')

Moon sq Neptune 0*09'
Jupiter opp Uranus 1*35'
Mars sms Mercury 1*56'
Mercury sxt Pluto 2*13'
Saturn sxt Pluto 2*25'
Moon sq Saturn 2*35'
Saturn cnj Neptune 2*42'

Venus sxt Mars 3*04'
Saturn cnj Mercury 4*39'
Jupiter opp Netune 4*55'
Moon sq Jupiter 5*03'
Sun cnj Uranus 5*52'

[Jim Eshelman]

Well, then, let's kick the party off with a semi-auto-generated collection of paragraphs about the main things in your chart. (You know the drill: This isn't a real interpretation, just some notes.) - Normally, I'd trim the wider aspects out of this to give a tighter presentation that zeroed in on the main points better, but, given your purpose for the thread, I've left everything in place.

I have to say that I don't really see you as a classic "Mars is foreground and the only foreground planet" sort of guy. (You're not Donald Trump, for example .) Probably the luminary signs and the close aspects outweigh it. Nonetheless, here's what the genie produced;


ANGULAR PLANETS
Angular Mars (IC 5°35')
Aggressive, competitive, challenging, needs to win (combative, quarrelsome). Seeks to test & prove self by contest (e.g., competitively, verbally, mentally, sexually). Courage (physical & moral; may disregard safety). Dominates & controls others. Physical, needs to expend energy; needs physical & psychological elbowroom. Sexually aggressive, needs frequent satisfaction. Business leadership & competitive excellence.

Venus sextile Mars (3°05')
Passion (in all senses), feels powerfully about things, seeks vivid experiences. Sexual passions mature early, continue late, rarely encumbered by too many conditions. Fun-loving, loves romance: interesting, likable, sociable horny people.

Mercury octile Mars (1°57')
Mind is quick, dynamic, strategic. Fast physical & mental responses. Forthright, direct; independent of thought, enjoys argument. Creative. Quick wit, edgy humor. Irritable, nervous frustration, fault-finding, stubborn, opinionated. Vulnerability to addiction.

MOON
Moon in Virgo
Intellectual, strategic, analytical, calculating, data-driven, efficient. (Too serious.) Intuitive, bizarrely illogical (moody, resistant). Plays victim & retaliates (abuse, betrayal). Service, loyal, devoted, contributing. Courageous. Innocent, simple, modest; expects respect. Romantic, flirtatious; shy. Nervous sensitivity.

Moon square Neptune (0°08')
Sensitive – often too much! Tunes into others on an emotional (psychic?) level: can be deeply understanding, genuinely sympathetic, but also emotionally (psychically) vulnerable, easily wounded, with abiding fears of rejection. Self-defense through avoidance (non-confrontation) & slamming shut senses & good sense. When wounded, withdraws & introverts (often with excessive rumination, imagination working overtime, worry, moodiness). Drawn to the imaginative, surrealistic, and creative. Genius, if present, coexists with deeply, visibly disturbed character.

Moon square Saturn (2°35')
Proud, self-made. Dynamic, hardworking, persistent, self-driving. Encourages growth in others (expects them to do something worthy of their abilities). Usually emotionally reserved, private. Definite tendency (often unconscious) to seek total control of situations & relationships. Parent-themed issues (nourishment-deprivation, etc.) to work through. Judgmental (intolerant). Can be pessimistic, distrustful, little self-confidence, passive-aggressive, feeling inferior, anxious, depressed. Many enter religious or social work for mixed motives of service, self-immolation, and seeking control.

Moon square Jupiter (5°03')
Good-humored, entertaining, kind, generous (natural host). Ambitious, desires success. Drawn to quality, desires the best. Strong beliefs (religious or patriotic intensity, morality, judgment). Social elitism (feigned superiority, aristocratic conceit).

SUN
Sun in Sagittarius
Social elitism, aristocracy. Excellence, quality. Higher & higher, ambition, travel. Judges self & others, may fail own standards. Right-wrong, reward-punishment, belief- & values-driven. Respects continuity of culture & social rituals. Preserves status quo, heritage, myth when possible. Loyal to tribe. Complacent affection.

Sun square Uranus (5°52')
Go their own way, unapologetically following their own paths, persuaded that they’re a special case. Easily bored. Loves freedom: bows to no outside authority. Progressive, future-oriented, uninhibited by convention. Self-perspective usually founded in objectivity.

MARS
Mars in Scorpio
Determined, hardworking, fervent desire to succeed, hard to intimidate. Sharp humor, willing to be outlandish. Loves to party. Most prefer some “bad boy” in their character, feel it their moral duty to misbehave on schedule, and stay “a little rough around the edges.”

MERCURY
Mercury in Sagittarius
Easy speech seems cultured, educated, authoritative, refined. Way with words, oratorical. Optimistic. Good-tempered, tactful, quiet (stubborn). Conscious of the architecture of thought & language. Does well in business world, commercially ambitious. Traveling.

Mercury sextile Pluto (2°14')
Thinking is individual, unusual, outlier. Probing, thinks deeply about things. Mind may ride the edge of normalcy (may slip off): enthusiastic, excitable, impatient (irritable, easily frustrated, stubborn, challenging). Instinct for abstractions.

Mercury conjunct Saturn (4°40')
Orderly, able thinkers. Methodical, logical, routinized thought. Skeptical, scrutinizing, distrustful. Hesitant until oriented, then decisive. Much mental power, but easily discouraged (doubting). Treats life seriously (needs play).

VENUS
Venus in Capricorn
Dutiful/devoted to family/loved ones (secures own freedom & pleasure within that). Tenacious once committed. Paternal themes in their partnering: one party plays a father role (be alert for parent-child games). Sociable, outgoing. Focus on common interests with friends. Beasts in bed. Pride themselves on self-sufficiency.

OUTER PLANETS
Jupiter opposite Uranus (1°35')
Mind interested in and well-suited to science, philosophical inquiry, and self-inquiry (knack for astrology). Success through unlikely paths (likely to succeed in life and distinguish themselves). Committed to progress, instinct for exceptionalism. Ingenuity, insight (sees outside the usual maps, pathways, and systems; thinks on a broader scale). Respectful while unbeholden to artificial rank, class, or caste (it’s unimportant to them); gently resists authority (conflict with authority), speaks truth to power, stands against injustice, egalitarian (social activist).

Saturn conjunct Neptune (2°43')
Bridges the practical & material with the idealistic & immaterial. (Most bridge it well.) Can render a vision concrete and believable, make something solid from an idea (creativity realized, plans executed; visual or music artist, counselor, problem solver). Frequently indifferent to material security. Devotion, loyalty (possible intrigue, deception, suspicion, betrayal). Many withdraw, enter seclusion, asylum, exile. Chronic (disabling?) physical or psychological afflictions (can include dark, troubled states, depression, disappointment, distrust, struggling with demons).

Saturn sextile Pluto (2°26')
“Runs their own show,” needs autonomy, makes up own rules. Lone wolf: solitary path is more natural; partnership requires more effort. Stubborn, tenacious (entrenched, defiant). Hard-working, responsible. Takes everything on own shoulder (vulnerable to burn-out).

Jupiter opposite Neptune (4°55')
Idealist, social idealist; dreams of “something better” (impressionable). Unreasoned optimism, faith. Generous (excessively? unwisely?). Compassionate, humanitarian, committed to the collective. Entertainment. Religious, spiritual, mystical interests. Impractical (unrealistic, fantasy) relationship to money (speculation).

Uranus conjunct Neptune (6°30')
Wanderlust, curious explorer, drawn to peer past horizons. Mythic, ritualistic sense of one’s position in the universal scheme. Knows that life and reality are weirder than anyone ever said. High-strung, sensitive.

[Mike V]

I've had a bad relationship with my mother for most of my life ("tight Moon-Neptune-Saturn T-square? I'd never have guessed"). She is, in almost every sense, the exact opposite of me, and the visible image of what I don't ever want to become. In other words, I project a lot of shadow content onto her. (She makes it easy.)

I recently ended my relationship with her - it's unclear to me if I want it to be forever or just for now. This will probably get a bit long, but I really want to set up real context so that the key event is framed within that. I'll try to keep it short and as objective as I am capable of being.

My mom is a hard-right fundamentalist Christian with severe emotional issues, and is highly irrational and convinced that she is rational. I've realized in very recent history that she fits the profile of a narcissist quite well: zero capacity for self-reflection, sudden explosive rage when others don't follow her wishes, intense jealousy, expects exceptional treatment from others, and compulsive manipulation of others through all manner of emotional abuse, most notably provocation-and-denial, or gaslighting, however you prefer to frame it. She has suffered from a fair number of physical ailments as well, but took advantage of them to get others (my dad) to serve her every whim. She abused him severely for years until he finally divorced her - which she blames him for, as you'd expect.
She has pushed away everyone in her life for these reasons, and I was "the last thing she had," as far as I can tell. She has no friends, and her remaining family wants nothing to do with her.

She's a Cancer-Leo who doesn't know her birth time (I've asked).

I had progressed through various phases of my relationship with her, going from a very mutually-antagonistic relationship (most of my teens) to a much more stable relationship. I thought I was doing the right thing - trying to heal myself by healing my relationship with her, showing her understanding and compassion as best I could. The last 2 years or so I even tolerated her speaking about essentially nothing but Christianity every time we spoke (which was weekly, as our relationship improved). She had mostly calmed down with actively trying to coerce me into going to church, sending me Bibles, etc. I thought that "being compassionate" was the best thing I could do. I felt fairly good about it.
Slowly but surely, I had ceased telling her at all about my life outside of my job, as she reacts with anger and coercion every time I tell her about any of the things I am doing or plan to do in my life that don't match her fantasy of me. This took place over the past decade or so. I didn't realize just how small of a portion of myself I allowed myself to express in our relationship, since I had withdrawn so gradually.

Recently, I mentioned to her that I went to an esoteric bookshop when I was out in Seattle a few weeks back. It was in the spirit of testing the waters of being honest about myself (she already knows I'm a Thelemite). That was it. One remark about my activities sandwiched in between other unrelated ones, weighed against 2 straight years of her talking to me about her religion, which she knows I don't like to hear about. I knew who my audience was, but I thought that our relationship had to be strong enough by now to handle a small detail that wasn't completely aligned with her views. Boy, was I wrong.

It lead to her blowing up on me, saying deeply hurtful things I won't go into, and threatening to cut ties with me. I realized that not only was our relationship completely imbalanced - I couldn't be me in it, at all - but I was made aware of a ton of shadow content in my personality that resulted from the way she raised me - behaviors I learned from her, deep fears of things she instilled in me, etc. I finally realized that it had been, and was still to some degree, emotional abuse. I decided I couldn't take it anymore. After a few exchanges that increased in intensity, I blocked her number (though we technically ended on a cease-fire, not mid-argument). I haven't decided what the future will hold, but I need total separation in order to surgically extract all of the unwanted parts of my personality that are, at their core, reactions to her.

While I actually consider this a positive (necessary) event in the unfolding of my life, I still feel pretty devastated for two main reasons: the depth of the rejection I feel from her (and the long history of it that I've internalized), and the thought of her being alone and lonely and hurting, and not understanding why or how to fix it, and feeling like I'm "abandoning her" to that.
That second one hurts an order of magnitude more than the first.
At the same time, I've had some really thrilling moments recently of feeling like I was finally free of the self-judgment I had internalized from her.
This is the emotional backdrop for the astrological factors.


I'm picking Wednesday, July 17, 2019 as the important day, though the following day was when I actually blocked her (and there was some communication that day). I was in an unusually highly reactive state for something like 24 hours continuously. She had pushed a button that was so deep that it just triggered 29 years worth of built-up emotion, and I had to work through all of it.

My Solar Return clearly shows relationship changes along with deep changes in myself, with Pluto-Venus square each other on angles.

My active lunar return (July 8th) has t. Jupiter on MC and a bit of t. Neptune on Asc. I don't think it's related. I think it's mostly work-stuff.

My KLR (July 10th 8:23:04pm) is striking:
t. Sun on Dsc +0*12'
t. Saturn on Asc +1*01'
r. Venus on EP +2*19' (in RA)
r. Mercury on Asc -2*32'
r. Saturn on Asc +2*44'
t. Pluto on Asc -2*58'
t. Moon on MC +4*07'
r. Neptune on Asc +5*18'

t. Moon is also opposite t. Uranus 2*18' in eclipto.

What a tangled web of Sun-Saturn-Moon-Pluto along with my natal Mercury-Saturn Neptune: ego-driven, unhappy communication and emotional loss of enormous intensity and finality. (I don't think ego-driven here means "mistaken" - it's just an identifier of which level of my being made the decision).

It's interesting, looking deeply at a KLR - it feels to me like the level it's operative at is "state of your emotional life as a result of your ongoing unfolding." It feels different than an SLR, I think. (Maybe I'm imagining it.)

This is the first huge hit I've seen for a KLR for myself.


My active Ennead is also quite good:
t. Moon on Dsc +1*52'
t. Mars on IC -2*27'
r. Sun on IC +2*44'
r. Uranus on IC -3*24'
t. Mercury on IC +4*52'
r. Jupiter on MC -5*04'
(I might have mixed up the +/- on MC/IC; I get these mixed up sometimes)

Primarily, deeply emotionally involved, and quite fiery/reactive. Once again, strong presence of ego; digging deep into my roots, reflecting and rearranging.


The Anlunar looks like a hit with that Mars-Neptune mess going on, but the Jupiter is odd to me. I'm not sure how I feel about it in isolation, since I don't usually check these. It just "feels" weird to me, whereas the other charts feel quite spot-on.
r. Mars on Asc -2*05'
s. Neptune on IC +1*11' (also t. Neptune on IC -4*14')
t. Jupiter on EP 0*36' (in RA)


My transits are very simple. I think this is actually primarily shown by Uranus to natal Venus, as a particular event in the "renovation of my feeling-nature and emotional self" that is happening. I've seen 2 other close friends go through this recently, and both also had mom-confrontation issues that they worked through, which is not what I would've expected beforehand. S.p. Moon to s.p. Mars is quite good too.

Transits and progs:
t. Uranus 90 r. Venus 0*50' (on its way out)
t. Moon 45 s. Mars 0*06' (I like to look at these for specific events; they often show me specific details)
t. Sun 135 s. Jupiter 0*37'
t. Sun 135 s. Mercury 0*47'

s.p. Moon 45 s.p. Mars 0*23'
s.p. Jupiter 135 s.p. Pluto 0*22'
s.p. Saturn 45 r. Mars 0*45'

And some quotidians:
For July 17:
SNQ MC 0 s.p Sun 0*51* (am I using SNQ right?)
SNQ MC 0 s.p. Venus 0*23'
SQ IC 0 s. Mercury 0*05'
SQ IC 0 s Jupiter 0*04'
SQ Asc 90 s. Moon 1*18'
SQ Dsc 0 s. Neptune 1*27'

For July 18:
SNQ MC 0 s.p. Sun 0*08'
SQ IC 0 SQ Mercury 0*04'
SQ Asc 90 s. Moon 0*43'
SQ IC 0 s. Jupiter 0*37'
SQ Dsc 0 s. Neptune 0*52'

The quotidians are a mixed bag. I see more communication, emotion, and ego, mostly. Once again, I don't really know what the Jupiter is doing there - unless this is me "benefitting" from all of this.

There. I think that's it.

[Veronica]

I am genuinely touched at your ability to speak so honestly, clearly and compassionately (towards Both of you).
Issues with parents are so hard sometimes.
It sounds like that you have a clear head about the mechanism at work and I sincerely feel for you, as I know having a moon neptune aspect is kind of like not having any skin at all at times.
Keep your heart strong and open.
Not to sound sexist, but men have a drive to feel like things must be fixed and to look for solutions.
The only thing you can fix and control is you.
She is her own being who has made her own choices and the only one to fix herself...if indeed she even thinks she needs fixing.

I didnt talk to my dad for years once.
It hurt and sucked but it was necessary for my own peace of mind.

I wish you all the best.

[SteveS]

Mike wrote/asked:

For July 17:
SNQ MC 0 s.p Sun 0*51* (am I using SNQ right?)

Mike, I show with the below link your SNQ with the Q2 rate calculated for 12:00 PM July 17 Hackensack, with angular difference for the SNQ Descendant you calculated. Jim uses the Q2 rate for Natal Quotidians. Note: secondary progressed Pluto is partile cnj your SNQ Descendant offering a potent rotational angular square of Sun-Venus-Pluto with this SNQ. Pluto symbolism is normally associate with very strong/potent emotional things firing-off (benefic or malefic) such as the strong emotional issues you have with your mother. Ebertin offers in his book “Combination of Stellar Influences” for 'probable manifestation' in a negative manner for a combo of Venus-Pluto:

Extraordinary strains and tensions...

IMO, a very descriptive SNQ with par-excellent angular planetary symbolism for an eventful yucky emotional DAY with your mother. Thanks for sharing.

https://imgur.com/mSZoxPB

[Mike V]

Thank you for the kind words, Veronica. I have a mostly clear head now, but it took some work to get one. I’ve got good training in this, but it was temporarily more than I could handle.

Holy crap, Steve, I don’t know how I missed Pluto on SNQ descendant. I don’t usually look at the chart views - that should change. Thanks for adding that.

[Avshalom Binyamin]

I'm sorry your relationship with her has been so difficult, Mike.

I felt a lot of fear, obligation, guilt (FOG) about going no contact with my birth family, but it's brought me peace and the space to heal without being re-traumitized.

Some lessons are about enduring, others are about avoiding.

Jupiter-Neptune can be the optimism and hope we need to let go of the known.

[Mike V]

I have a brutal series of lunar returns, KLRs, and enneads coming up the rest of this year, with a scant few really lovely ones bunched up in the middle.
Normally, I would chalk these up to reflections of seasonal depression, or work being hard, or what have you.
But in this case, they're all saying nearly the same thing. It's kind of mind-blowing, actually.

The dominant features are my natal Moon-Saturn-Neptune T-square closely on angles (less than 3º), with transiting Saturn and usually transiting Pluto closely involved. One return has t. Saturn on Descendant 0º00'.

Granted, I'm entering the final pass of my Saturn return, so if transiting Saturn is foreground, the whole natal cluster generally would be, too, but it's still kind of frightening to look at.

Some examples from my files...

Sept 29 SLR
t. Saturn on WP 1º33’ (EC)
t. Moon on IC -2º11’
r. Neptune on WP 1º31’ (RA)
….
r. Venus on Dsc +6º51’
——t. Moon 90 r. Venus 4º40’ (PVL)
t. Venus on IC -6º52’
——t. Venus 90 r. Venus 0º01’ (PVL)
t. Pluto on Dsc -7º19’
t. Sun on IC +7º52’
——t. Pluto 90 t. Sun 0º33’ (PVL)
….
r. Mercury on Dsc -9º14’
——t. Sun 90 r. Mercury 1º22’ (PVL)


Sept 30 KLR
t. Saturn on Dsc +0º00’
r. Saturn on Dsc +0º43’
——t. Saturn 0 r. Saturn 0º43’ (EC/PVL)
r. Neptune on Dsc -1º18’
——t. Saturn 0 r. Neptune 1º18’ (PVL)
r. Moon on Nadir 2º02’
….
r. Mercury on Dsc +3º32’
——t. Saturn 0 r. Mercury 3º32’ (PVL)
t. Pluto on Dsc +5º41’
——t. Pluto 0 r. Mercury 2º09’ (PVL)
t. Mars on IC -5º59’
r. Jupiter on Asc +6º00’
r. Uranus on Dsc -7º37’
——t. Mars 90 t. Pluto 0º18’ (PVL)
t. Neptune on MC +8º41’
——t. Neptune 90 r. Jupiter 2º41’ (PVL)
——t. Neptune 90 r. Uranus 1º04’ (PVL)

Oct 2 Ennead
r. Moon on Nadir 0º06’ (EC)
r. Neptune on Dsc +0º25’
t. Saturn on Dsc +1º47’
——t. Saturn 0 r. Neptune 1º22’ (PVL)
r. Saturn on Dsc +2º28’
——t. Saturn 0 r. Saturn 0º39’ (EC)
t. Sun on Nadir 2º23’
——t. Sun 90 r. Neptune 2º23’ (EC)
….
r. Jupiter on Asc +4º20’
r. Mercury on Dsc +5º21’
t. Neptune on MC +5º26’
——t. Neptune 90 r. Jupiter 1º26’ (PVL)
——t. Neptune 90 r. Mercury 0º05’ (PVL)
r. Uranus on Dsc -5º58’
——t. Neptune 90 r. Uranus 0º32’ (PVL)
….
t. Pluto on Dsc +7º32’


Oct 13 DSLR
t. Pluto on WP 1º09’ (RA)
t. Venus on Nadir 2º13’
t. Uranus on Zenith 2º35’
——t. Venus 180 t. Uranus 0º22’ (EC)
r. Venus on Dsc -2º28’
——t. Venus 90 r. Venus 0º04’ (EC)
——t. Uranus 90 r. Venus 0º18’ (EC)
r. Mercury on WP 2º17’ (RA)
——t. Pluto 0 r. Mercury 1º08’ (RA) / 1º14’ (EC)

Oct 26 SLR
r. Mercury on EP 0º08’ (EC)
t. Pluto on EP 1º31’ (EC)
——t. Pluto 0 r. Mercury 1º23’ (EC)
t. Saturn on EP 1º25’ (RA)
r. Saturn on EP 1º51’ (RA)
——t. Saturn 0 r. Saturn 0º21’ (EC)
r. Sun on Asc -2º52’
t. Jupiter on Asc +3º29’
….
t. Mars on MC +5º48’
——t. Mars 90 t. Jupiter 2º19’
t. Moon on MC +6º09’
——t. Moon 90 t. Jupiter 2º40’
….
r. Uranus on Asc -7º38’
r. Jupiter on Dsc +8º29’

It gets better and has some more variety in November, and then December is pretty dark again. January looks much better, so evidently some kind of breakthrough is made.

I think I know what this is about. I had a very rough year with my inner demons in 2006, when I was 16, and my SSR for Dec 2005 looked a lot like these look. (I wasn't into astrology at all at the time, and only looked at the SSR later.) I think this is a final return (hopefully) to confront those shadows and rebalance this part of myself correctly. Or at least, that's how I'm trying to look at it. There are a couple of things that I'm pretty concerned about right now, my job being one of them – they've set themselves up for failure and unfortunately I'm caught up right in the heart of it, cleaning up others' catastrophic messes... so seeing natal Mercury present with this much Saturn and Pluto is not reassuring. (Although there are bursts of a LOT of Jupiter here and there, and in January, so SOMETHING goes well at some point...)

I'm trying to psych myself up. It's a hard road ahead.

[Jim Eshelman]

Wow, that September 30 KLR is something!

I'll be seeing you on the 28th and, if you're up to joining me, I'll probably hold open the Stonewall or some similar place until it closes at 4 AM on the 29th and I head to the airport. Possibly I'm adding to your burden, though I think you're stretching into your capacity instead.

That's the thing about a Saturn return. You hit your limits and tell them to go {bonk} themselves. But you can't do it without hitting them. That doesn't mean that things aren't demanding along the way.

I also notice Uranus is squaring your Venus. That has to be strangely amazing.

If I were a bigger fan of Quarti-Solars, I'd think that you have a very somber, interesting mix of psychological conditions starting tonight and heading you into your next SSR in three months. Perhaps this will prevail for a few days, which is the most I usually see a Quarti-Solar effective. (It is, after all, a Decilium.)

[Mike V]

So far, so good on this spate of return charts. I've been approaching life trying to own the Saturn energies and learn from them, rather than try to fight it; the main manifestations have been exhaustion (a theme of this last past of my Saturn Return), others emotionally withdrawing and resulting loneliness, the general feeling of "being stuck," etc. But approaching it ready and willing to accept the way that it feels, and not hoping for or expecting it to lift just yet, has made it feel very natural to keep going. Some parts of it have actually been rewarding; I'm relearning to trust in myself, get clear on what I think I need to function, and securing it. Basically, expecting things to suck and expecting to feel miserable has led to this interesting optimism-through-pessimism kind of mindset that has removed much of what makes it unpleasant to experience.

Clear Saturn themes.

I'm trying to keep the counterbalance in mind as well: humor, being emotionally open and warm when the situation allows for it, etc.

That wide double Venus foreground (exactly square each other) is surely the wedding I'm officiating tomorrow. Several mutual friends will be there. I'm still expecting the Saturn presence to predominate, so everything pleasant that happens will be an unexpected gift.

The Lunar themes, besides generally things just shifting around a lot, has been mostly a continued growth of creativity, as well as what seems to be heightened sensitivity to transits (no surprise).

The Neptune in these returns so far has manifested as general uncertainty regarding where I stand with others (Neptune is on Dsc/WP in all three active return charts) and some avoidant behavior (including creative blocks... lots of outlining and planning, not as much actual writing), though not nearly the level of emotional reactivity I would've expected from orbs like this.

I think the gravity of the Saturn Return is overpowering the normal manifestation of this natal planetary cluster, which is why I'm analyzing the planets individually.

Uranus transiting my Venus has been this long, slow evolution of "...you know what, I really don't have to approach life in all of these ways that have been limiting me before." Realizing that I don't have to use particular habitual emotional approaches to various situations. It's transforming what I feel I want out of life, and just the way I feel about things in general.

[SteveS]

[Mike V]

The wedding was a great success. Everything went perfectly, and I even got to work some of my audio chops helping the DJ triage some audio issues (which I consider to be a fun "side quest," though I'm sure it would show differently for him!). I also reconnected quite successfully with a very close friend I had had a strained relationship with for some time.

Quotidians are interesting for this:

Q2 WP 0 s.p. Saturn 0º07' (in RA)
SQ Asc 0 SQ Venus 0º11' / 0 s. Venus 0º30'
Q2 MC 90 t. Pluto 0º31'
Q2 Asc 90 t. Uranus 0º46'
Q2 DSC 0 r. Venus 0º48'

Double (or triple) Venus is quite accurate and described the day very well. Uranus and Pluto aren't bad for the impact and surprises of the event. I don't really understand s.p. Saturn here. I don't think I was particularly reserved, or any of the other Saturn themes. I wouldn't even say it was that much work to do (though the logistics after it have involved a fair amount of effort). I'm trying to think if there's something dumb I did wrong in calculating that, but I don't think so – I just took the RA-Analogue of the progressed chart.

Transits
t. Sun 0 r. Moon 0º10'
t. Sun 90 r. Neptune 0º18'
t. Saturn 0 r. Saturn 0º34' (on it's way in to the final peak)
t. Uranus 90 r. Venus 0º01' - Now that's quite a hit!

These are interesting, especially Sun 0 Moon and the exactitude (...that's a word??) of the Uranus transit.

[SteveS]

Mike wrote:

I don't really understand s.p. Saturn here.

Mike, I am curious. Do you think this s.p. Saturn could have caused some inhibited feelings not knowing how the reconnection with your friend would turn out, since there was an existing "strained" relationship?

[Mike V]

I don’t think so. I was experiencing that for like 2 weeks leading up to it, and that’s also just a normal part of my psyche (moon-saturn-Neptune). If you removed that hit from the list of quotidians, I would never have missed it.
I wonder if there’s some other thematic thing I’m missing that’s Saturnian here.

[SteveS]

I understand Mike. Glad the wedding went good for you.

[Mike V]

Now mostly out from under the main SLR and into the demi for this period, which is a welcome change. I instantly felt different this morning – higher energy levels, for one, though perhaps the Jupiter and Uranus transits to my Venus are just heartening me enough to give me a second wind. We'll see what the rest of the period brings.

I also need to note something I didn't expect. I never, ever check quarti-lunars, both because few people on this forum seem to care about them, and because I really don't want more things to have to mentally juggle and weigh, but since many of the "main charts" this fall and early winter say the same thing, I thought now might be a good time to peek at the quarti's and see whatever I see...

Here's my quarti-lunar that activated the day of the wedding, a few hours prior:
t. Sun on MC +0º44'
r. Neptune on EP 1º17'
t. Jupiter on Asc +1º56'
----t. Jupiter 90 t. Sun 1º12'
r. Moon on MC +3º16'
----t. Jupiter 90 r. Moon 1º22'

t. Sun 0 r. Moon 0º00'
t. Sun 90 r. Neptune 0º08'

Honestly, this is the only quarti-lunar I think I've looked at in years, but this seems like a dead-on, direct hit.
Perhaps it's just the Sun conjunction to Moon that is making me feel like that, but really, the whole last week has also felt like a Sun-Jupiter kind of week underneath all of the Saturn heaviness – I've gotten many more accolades at work than I was expecting.

It's entirely possible it's just a fluke, or it only matters because of the potency of the foreground transiting aspects, but I stand surprised as to how decent of a chart this is.

[SteveS]

Mike wrote:

Honestly, this is the only quarti-lunar I think I've looked at in years, but this seems like a dead-on, direct hit.

I totally agree Mike, this is 'a dead-on direct hit' symbolizing the wedding. In my work, the only time I ever pay any attention to my quarti-lunars is when they feature 'outstanding incident' symbolism according to Jim's guidelines for return charts. Jim says:

It is when angularity and aspect partility coincide that outstanding incidents are most likely to come about.

And your Oct 5 quarti definitely qualified for an 'outstanding incident' return chart with Sun on MC exactly square Moon! I use the Dragon's Head (Moon North Node) in my work and when we look at your quarti we see a striking t-square structure with Sun-Moon-Node. Ebertin from COSI says about this combo:

Associative and joint qualities, adaptation, Commencement of an association, a contact, an association for the purpose of marriage.

WOW! Par-excellent symbolism for the wedding Mike. Also with quarti Jupiter rising we would have known beforehand, the wedding would be a success for you and your objectives. Thanks for sharing this this 'outstanding incident' quarti-lunar Mike. When we know beforehand we are involved in out of the ordinary activities associate with any kind of events, your quarti here definitely proves we need to check for Jim's above guidelines for possible 'outstanding incident' symbolism.

Mikes Oct 5 quarti-lunar:
https://imgur.com/VSUxMHy

[Mike V]

I'm about a week past the final peak of the Saturn Return now. I had a burst of energy on the day that it was exact, like I had been wearing heavy weights and they were suddenly lifted.

I'm in a very different SLR now than the previous set, focused on r. Mercury (exact on Asc) and t. Pluto, flanked by r. Sun, t. Jupiter, and the separating Saturn Return conjunction, all within 3º. So far, I've spent the entire day furiously coding, and that's what the next month seems like for me, even more than usual - seems about right!
(I also begin a good KLR tomorrow with heavy Jupiter presence.)

What I've found surprising about these Moon-Saturn-Neptune charts is that I've experienced them primarily as creative, though it has been emotionally confusing rather than clarifying. Still, there's little hint of the reactivity/sensitivity that I would've expected, and there's nothing especially dark about it. I find natal Mars on SLR angles to induce much more reactivity. This has just been creative, hazy, uncertain, and generally tiring (though I blame the Saturn Return in general for that, recent energy lift notwithstanding).

I suppose, thinking about the past Solar Return that had that character, that it was also intensely creative - probably the most creative of my life - but it was also very dark, and I didn't know how to navigate it back then.

I do now.

Also, just for the record...
My Oct 23 Demi-Ennead has nothing going on, but my Nov 2 Quarti-Ennead is kind of hilarious:

r. Neptune on IC +1º07'
r. Saturn on IC -1º47'
r. Moon on Asc -2º13'
t. Saturn on IC -2º37'
t. Moon on IC -3º35'

and some more stuff 6º and further.

The Ennead following it on the 12th has nearly the same character.

The same message, over and over...

Good thing I'm about to start my first Dungeons and Dragons campaign.

[Mike V]

Mike wrote:

I don't really understand s.p. Saturn here.

Mike, I am curious. Do you think this s.p. Saturn could have caused some inhibited feelings not knowing how the reconnection with your friend would turn out, since there was an existing "strained" relationship?

I don’t think so. I was experiencing that for like 2 weeks leading up to it, and that’s also just a normal part of my psyche (moon-saturn-Neptune). If you removed that hit from the list of quotidians, I would never have missed it.

I'm re-reading this now...
I don't think I gave nearly enough credit to how concerned I was about reconnecting with my friend. I think you're right, Steve. That was definitely a fit for that concern, especially because, while I was experiencing concern for a while leading up to it, the quotidian was in orb when we actually interacted.

[SteveS]

Mike wrote:

I'm re-reading this now...
I don't think I gave nearly enough credit to how concerned I was about reconnecting with my friend. I think you're right, Steve. That was definitely a fit for that concern, especially because, while I was experiencing concern for a while leading up to it, the quotidian was in orb when we actually interacted.

Including transits to quotidian angles (Daily progressed angles), I find at times accentuated angular quotidian charts offer precise symbolic meanings in my life, more so in the context when my life is involved with 'out of ordinary' life activities. In the context of 'out of ordinary' life activities when you can easily see the 'out of ordinary' life activities being focused to one particular DAY, quotidian charts are my favorite charts to analyze, particularly the Solar Quotidian. When you see 'out of ordinary' life circumstances being arranged by circumstances outside your direct control of planed time to one particular DAY, pay more attention to Q charts, for they may offer you a heads-up to precise symbolic meanings for one particular DAY in your life as to what life is bringing to your doorsteps. Q charting helps us better see whats in front of us with one particular 'out of ordinary' day in our life. A few business colleagues in my life who I have shared their Q charts with them, loved my Q insights with them when a few important 'out of ordinary' Business meeting DAYS were arranged in their lives outside their individual control of planed time.

I absolutely love to have the complete freedom of individual planed times to arrange certain 'out of the ordinary' life activities with my life to one particular benefic Q DAY, along with other benefic Sidereal Astrology charts when planning fun benefic activity. But regardless, when something in your life happens outside of 'out of ordinary' life activity—check your Q charts, for sometimes they offer outstanding symbolism. If it was not for our 'father' of Sidereal Astrology Cyril Fagan's great astrological insights , we never would have been aware of Quotidian charting.

Quotidian charts are indeed seen/understood better at times involving reflected insights with hindsight .

[Mike V]

I am in an interesting point in which a lot of different transiting factors are converging.

The longest of these is that transiting Neptune is squaring natal Sun on and off for the next 2ish years. (I forget the exact dates; not important.) Maybe it's just that I'm a Neptunian person anyway, but I have found this to be rather subtle. There are a lot of possible avenues I can go down at this point in my life - decisions keep coming up for me, and there is just no clear right or wrong answer for it. Things seem hazy, hard to define, and too complicated to simply rationalize my way through. With that said, I wouldn't call it "unpleasant." I definitely would prefer clarity on many of these various areas of my life, and I am not ignoring my duty to try to make good decisions and to strive for clarity, but I'm just accepting that I probably won't have significant clarity until this is over. Oh well.

There's plenty of other things going on too. Jupiter octiles my natal Venus; I have had a very intense connection with a romantic interest appear in recent days (though, of course, it is complicated and the future feasibility of it is totally uncertain! )

Uranus closely octiles natal Moon-Neptune, being exact to Moon as of today and 08' from exact to Neptune. The Neptune part of that is not so easy to understand - I can see that I am in a transitional period, and internal things are shifting, but it's very abstract and would take forever to try to articulate, if I'm even correct about it.
Uranus to Moon is really interesting. I would expect this to have some kind of explosive force, but it's not like that. I'm just willing to be different than I've been before, and I'm open to rather different kinds of experiences... kind of abruptly. It's rather internal. I'm pursuing a more holistic understanding of myself, going back through the kinds of work I've done on myself over the last decade or so, and trying to perfect my understanding of what I did there.

[Veronica]

Thank you for the update and the insights to your experience of these transits MikeV. I definitely resonate with your experience. I too have noticed a lack of clarity in certain parts of my life. Studying my chart and learning about transits to it has really helped deepen my compassion for others and an empathy I dont think I could have ever reached without the broader understanding of Sidereal astrology.
I have also been working on having and showing more compassion towards myself, allowing and accepting the ambiguity of this time and letting things unfold on their own with me trying to force a decision or course of action. For me, it feels like it's almost time for me to shift from focusing on what my children need, my community needs and to address what Veronica really needs.
It sounds like you are going through this with your eyes wide open and not resisting, regardless that things seem unclear and that's a wonderful healthy attitude. I'm grateful to hear you are striving for the best, even when it's hard to know what is best for you. Thanks again for sharing.

[Jim Eshelman]

You're getting some of the transits (including some that hit about the same point in everyone's life) that often are easier to see as psychological reassessment or reorientation more than in events or environmental world conditions.

Starting with the widest view, though, you have a deeply personal item likely kicking into pretty high gear at the moment: Your progressed Sun (same as directed Sun) is half a degree shy of exact conjunction with natal Venue. This is usually a once in a lifetime occurrence - often looked back on as a significant "moment in life" that is highly distinctive - that is some form of awakening and activation of your Venus size. It usually manifests as distinctive Venus events though the real meaning is that something that for you is a natural stage of unfolding your Venus side occurs over this two year period (that you're half a year into).

Concurrently, directed Venus is crossing your Descendant! This is a remarkable double-hit Venus time. Looking across someone's life, one would be tempted to pick this as the time you would switch gears, get married, and rapidly start a family (or, of course, something else psychologically similar). If your birth time is taken as exactly correct, the peak of this (two years as it comes and goes) period is in two or three months.

A clue to watching solar arcs unfold details of the natal: Since everything is moving at the same speed, d Sun = r Venus at the same time as d Venus = r Ascendant immediately tells us you have a natal Ve = Su/As that would be actualized right now.
 
Another "count this as a weird one" is that your directed Moon-Neptune are atop natal Pluto. This peaked three (Neptune) to five (Moon) months ago with a one-year buildup before the exact hit, and perhaps has already done most of its work on your psyche and is tapering off. I won't break this down unless you ask - you can surely see the main psychological dynamics.

Furthermore, d Mars has been conjunct your Jupiter. It's mostly faded by now, peaking about eight months ago on its two-year run. Directed MC is also leaving (almost exactly 1° separating) its two-year run activating your natal Moon-Neptune, although secondary progressed Moon is about to stretch this a few more months. I'm very glad to see such positive directions overall, because this looks like a rough couple of months psychologically. As of this moment, here are your relevant progressed positions:

16°26' Sag - p Mercury
16°36' Sag - p Moon
17°00' Sag - r Neptune
17°08' Vir - r Moon
18°18' Sag - t Neptune
19°43' Sag - r Saturn

[Jim Eshelman]

Which brings us up to your transits. With the progressions I just mentioned, I'm happy to see that the current Saturn-Pluto octile in space is missing you entirely.

Neptune square your Sun - I'm indeed interested to see if you, as a strongly Neptunian person, relate to this differently than most people. You can read the standard interp on the site you probably have) but the core idea is that one's sense of identity - who one is - and direction in life (fundamental goal or target) become uncertain, vague, diffuse. It could, of course, also mean identity or life goal becoming a Neptunian thing. It's more mystical than magical, creates space for diffuse psychological exploration, but not very good at definitions and boundaries or borders.

In recent years I've been very taken with what happens immediately after this transit. It seems to be almost like a Uranus transit! As Neptune to Sun completes its work, one steps back into a world of lucidity in which more or less everything looks different and much of it is exciting. The Neptune transit having dissolved prior sense of identity and direction, one then steps out into "look at things in front of me exactly as they are" and finds cause to go down an entirely different path. This isn't seemingly the Neptune transit itself (one can't see any path through the undergrowth and dense fog, but can get caught up in fantasies about it). Then the fog lifts and wherever you have ended up standing is where the path is suddenly clear and visible.

Uranus to your Moon-Neptune is interesting given all the lunar progressions to your Moon-Neptune Uranus-Moon does tend to be the world getting a whole lot more exciting (I'm not clear how this will look in the context of all the strong Neptune activity). Uranus to Neptune sometimes is an entirely psychological transit (internal rewiring etc.) but its most common outward expressions tend to be some sort of "clearing away old illusions" and "cutting dependencies." I like the language in the site paragraph on this: "Losing yourself in new interests and ideas (innovative or alternative). Pursuing new fantasies refreshes and renews your sense of the future. Altered point of view, escape to exotic settings or situations, freedom from old dependencies. Clarity supplants illusion (inspiration, insight). Strange transitional emotional states while adjusting to new realities."

That last sentence may be the key one.