Mars/Pluto

[Venus_Daily]

Sep 24, 2015
This was very sad night for me, Mars/Saturn were on my natal angles, Saturn t. Mercury(received some bad financial news yesterday), all day today I felt as though I was being sized up by people who had no inherent right to even give anyone the side eye without first looking in the mirror-- meaning, it's not right to judge anyone, but if someone is going to judge me they should at least have a diploma/college education, lots of money, and all their natural teeth. I know that at times I myself can be judgmental, but I have learned to control it, I do it more out of fear instead of superiority. So, my mother and I attended a movie, the theatre was practically empty, I sat with my mother and at least 6-8 Indian women came in sat down in the row in front of us, and acted as though they were so superior to everyone in the theatre, as the movie progressed these young women start talking and such, and I asked them to be quiet, they did not. I went to get the usher to attempt to quiet them, they did not listen to him, so I just gave up. My mother and I left the theatre slightly before everyone else, I waited outside, and as I expected these foreign women came outside and made several rude comments, I brushed it off, but then another young woman(not foreign) came out and was staring at me, making gestures to her boyfriend about me, and kept leering at me in a really ugly way until she got in her car, she looked to be at least 17-21. What really got to me was this last woman, who I don't know, would actually look at me in such a horrible and disgusting way like I was not even human, as though I had no real right to even be in the movie theatre, at least that's how I interpreted it. This really touched on something very visceral that I have been feeling lately--a sense of not belonging. I feel as though the only two roles (being a woman and a human) that I can identify with, I can no longer inhabit unless I compromise my dignity and live to service of the egos of others. There is so much BS going on in American Society today, I learned that Caitlyn Jenner is going to be free after killing someone, although this might seem trivial it strikes at the heart of the point I am trying to make. Due to mainstream media, being a woman in today's society has been reduced to a "state of mind", people like Caitlyn Jenner can kill other human beings and be called brave and stunning for basically live in escapism while dimming the only thing I found special about myself( being womanhood), yet I myself as a human being can't even go into a movie theatre without a confrontation. I was bullied for such a long time just for having an attractive personality and physical aspect, and now after returning to society and recovering from those deep wounds, I am met with pure hostility for wanting to use my surroundings in the way they should be used. I deleted my Facebook account permanently just because my thoughts and feelings do not matter as much as selfies and fake boyfriends. I feel as though I am slipping into a dysthymic condition, is this characteristic of a sextile between Mars and Pluto in my progressed chart, along with Saturn and Mars moving over multi[le natal points in my horoscope? I know that I may come off as a hybrid of Veruca Salt and Janeane Garofalo, but it's still so hurtful when society says these people are so much valuable than you because they're foreign, unique, and pseudo-progressive. It's as though people have been celebrating in the Uranian/Plutonian aspect of our new society despite not even having natal contacts with these transiting planets, and the ones who actually do have natal contacts are still at the bottom. Society to me has been such a huge turn off lately; it's sad to think that I may be bringing this on myself just because I don't agree with looking the other way just because someone is different. I am not advocating traditional ideals, just respect for everyone regardless of who you are and where you're from. I deeply apologize for droning on and on like this.

[Venus_Daily]

I am sorry to hear you are feeling low and attacked in a way.

May I ask if the angles have progressed to he Mars-Pluto aspect you are talking about? Is there a progressed angle touching one of your malefic planets? I ask because it seems like it's been a long time you are feeling low.