Lance: Chart Discussion

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Avshalom Binyamin
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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Avshalom Binyamin » Mon Mar 25, 2019 8:19 am

Last spring I did a magical ritual to try to get money to go to a week-long tango workshop. As part of the ritual, I worked myself up into near-frenzied desire for this outcome, and then prayed that if that outcome wasn't right for me to take it away from me.

I'm in love. I desire her. But if the experience is not meant for me, it will be snatched away without a thought for my feelings, and I pray for that as much I desire.

That mindset feels so powerful. Because it is.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Mon Mar 25, 2019 5:07 pm

Thank you both for your input.

It helped me achieve a marked reduction in anxiety today that has lasted the rest of the day.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Tue May 21, 2019 6:43 am

Okay, so I've entered the seconds pass of my t. Saturn semisquare r. Neptune.

Again, this is regularly a very difficult transit for me. I feel the energy of it very pointedly.

It's like a high-pitched anxiety that I feel in my body that my worst nightmares are going to come true. It's got maybe a sort of PTSD, hyper-vigilance kind of vibe to it. These are times that I absolutely lean on my psychiatric medication.

My thoughts return frequently to my worst case scenarios for my life. Betrayal of friends and lovers is a prominent theme as well as the theme of my "sins finding me out."

There is also usually the death of a preciously guarded illusion.

There also seems to be a outwardly forced limitation on my addictive habits, primarily any form of substance abuse I may be leaning on but also just creature-comforts like sex.

But there is also usually a point where my good dreams for myself become a more concrete reality. This last one is the prize that comes in the midst of the storm.

But generally speaking, all of this - in the midst of the divorce as well - is requiring me to play at the absolute top of my game - psychologically, spiritually, and philosophically. I don't know why I feel this one so acutely, but it is always very, very difficult for me.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Jim Eshelman » Tue May 21, 2019 7:19 am

This time, you have some unique advantages. For the first time in years, you have much more ownership of your future. Additionally, you have greater centered strength than you did last time you went through this sort of thing unpartnered.
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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Sat Jun 01, 2019 8:25 pm

t. Saturn semi r. Neptune, 0*22’.

We’ll see what happens when it gets within 10 minutes, but so far... I don’t know. I’ve already lost the thing that I most feared losing.

I literally just knocked on wood after saying that though.

Superstition? Humility before the gods?

You tell me.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Thu Jan 09, 2020 5:58 am

Wrapping up the previous post... Seems like there was a long-term fantasy in my life, which was my relationship with my wife. Every time Saturn transited Neptune, that illusion would take a hit. I found it very stressful. Now that we're broken up, the t. Saturn aspecting r. Neptune doesn't hit so hard. I've noticed it, but it was nothing like it has been. Of course, these have been octiles recently, but even this seems lighter.

----

Now, on to the present.

Current Day - Calculated for 12:35 CST, when t. Mars - r. Neptune is precise. That's the one I'm watching, but now I notice t. Mars - r. Uranus as well..

t. Sun sq. r. Uranus, 0°57'
t. Mars oct. r. Uranus, 0°36'

t. Sun oct. r. Neptune, 0°20'
t. Mercury oct. r. Neptune, 0°52'
t. Mars oct. r. Neptune, 0°0'

t. Uranus oct. r. Venus, 0°37'


The t. Mars - r. Uranus and t. Mars - r. Neptune feel like the most relevant. As soon as I woke up, my nerves felt raw. My body wanted coffee, smoke, drink... something.

We settled on coffee. We wants it, Precious. We needs it.

Feeling better now, but it's in the background, and I'm trying to be very conscious of my sensitivity and frustration at work. It's strong enough that I knew that something was going on even yesterday without looking at my transits. Upon looking up my transits, I found them to be very accurate.

I'm not sure how to cooperate with both t. Mars - r. Uranus and t. Mars - r. Neptune.

Suggestions welcome.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by SteveS » Thu Jan 09, 2020 6:29 am

Lance wrote:
I'm not sure how to cooperate with both t. Mars - r. Uranus and t. Mars - r. Neptune. Suggestions welcome.
Be very conscious of your immediate environment for negative Mars situations, although I would not expect it to be serious unless these transits of Mars appeared angular in your SLR or DSLR. With Mars-Uranus avoid/delay high risk task situations increasing chances for freaky accidents.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Jim Eshelman » Thu Jan 09, 2020 7:04 am

Lance, this is an awesome realization about how Saturn-Neptune works! "Inauthenticity hurts," etc. - symbolism is perfect. (It's kinda sorta like I thought of it before but never with that exact twist.)

Congratulations on emerging into a more authentic (and healthier and happier) life!
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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by SteveS » Thu Jan 09, 2020 8:25 am

Jim wrote:
Lance, this is an awesome realization about how Saturn-Neptune works!
This reminds me in the late 70s when I astrologically came to the "realization" my partile mundo Saturn-Pluto cnj was symbolizing my father as a heavy life burden who was constantly bringing me down. Actually, we were both bringing each other down. I astrologically made the decision to separate myself from him which at the time troubled/hurt me. But after about a year of separation, I realized I had made the right decision with much improved outlooks for my individual life.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Veronica » Sat Jan 11, 2020 6:16 am

SteveS wrote:
Thu Jan 09, 2020 6:29 am
Lance wrote:
I'm not sure how to cooperate with both t. Mars - r. Uranus and t. Mars - r. Neptune. Suggestions welcome.
Be very conscious of your immediate environment for negative Mars situations, although I would not expect it to be serious unless these transits of Mars appeared angular in your SLR or DSLR. With Mars-Uranus avoid/delay high risk task situations increasing chances for freaky accidents.
Lance
I agree with what Steve wrote.....mars transits on thier own dont last for very long so unless its a SSR or SLR it will probably find vent in something like butting heads at the bookstore with a fundementalist hell bent on proving your book choice is wrong.

I recently spent some time looking through all the SSRs of my life and noting all the years where Mars was angular (quite a few) and squaring my Pluto (1988 chart had mars uranus and saturn conjunct my dec square my pluto).

1988 was a year I remember quite well.

I think that when we are in the here and now looking at where we are, things seem new and unusual or strange or powerful but if we can pause and reflect that we have gone through similiar things in the past and gotten through them then we can own our own personal power and get through the event again, this time with the wisdom of the past expierence under our belt to help us allow the natural currents to flow and give opportunity for them to manifest in ways that facilitate our empowerment and growth.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Sun Jan 12, 2020 8:36 am

It was a brief influence, but I was getting cranky and gripy at work, which I can’t afford to do. Just becoming conscious of it helped a lot.

Funny thing.. My supervisor asked me what was going on astrologically because she could tell something was off. I looked, and she had that same t. Mars oct. r. Uranus. She was very satisfied with the description. She asked if she could vent, and I let her gripe for a while, smiling to myself. She appreciated it. Lol

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by SteveS » Sun Jan 12, 2020 11:56 am

Lance wrote:
Just becoming conscious of it helped a lot.
This is the Key, imo! This "conscious (astrological awareness)" is what offers us more choices--with our astrological malefic or benefic cycles. I know no better branch of astrology than Sidereal Astrology which allows our conscious mind to understand the astrological cycles ("timing is everything") which naturally occur in our lives as well as the mundane world.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Thu Jan 16, 2020 7:42 am

Would anyone be willing to check my charts? I’m kind of going through a little thing, but I can’t see anything significant in my transits, progressions, SSR, or SLR.

I feel like I must be missing something that I’d like to name and understand.

Thanks for any help.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Jim Eshelman » Thu Jan 16, 2020 8:35 am

Lance wrote:
Thu Jan 16, 2020 7:42 am
Would anyone be willing to check my charts? I’m kind of going through a little thing, but I can’t see anything significant in my transits, progressions, SSR, or SLR.

I feel like I must be missing something that I’d like to name and understand.
If it's only a psychological shift with a sense of "something in my subconscious that I'm not getting," transiting Neptune is trine natal Mercury - not enough to make an event happen but, in a sensitive person, perhaps enough to make obscure things from subconsciousness register. (*I mention this first only because it's the first thing I saw in checking transits, not because I think it's the most important thing.)

Saturn is not quite square your Ascendant within a degree, but might be noticeable. Sun is crossing your IC today, which is flitting - a couple of days - but is a clean hit for the transits. The other clean transit hit for the day is Venus square your Neptune, which also falls on your quotidian (SNQ) angles for today.

Your progressed Moon just entered Sagittarius (three days ago) - that might feel like a shift.

Your SLR is primarily a Venus chart or, rather, transiting Venus square natal Mercury, both closely angular. (I didn't do a full break-out of the chart, but that's what pops at a glance.)

I would have expected to see something in your Demi-SLR which occurred yesterday. It starts off much the same, with Venus square MC being the main angular planet. Again, the Venus transit to your Neptune is the main feature (as in today's transits and on your SNQ angle), since the Demi-SLR has natal Neptune at MC. Natal Mercury squares Asc.

So my main take-away is that Venus transiting your Neptune today is the biggest thing happening today - emphasized in several ways, already operating strongly for the last two days and the next (almost) two weeks. Along with that are several things that draw you inward, sensitize you to shifting (or shadowy) subconscious content, all anchored by Sun crossing your IC. If what you are looking for is a "shift in symbolism," a different archetypal theme flowing across, then three days ago your progressed Moon left Scorpio (where it has been for a couple of years) and entered Sagittarius.
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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Jim Eshelman » Thu Jan 16, 2020 9:06 am

I could also treat your post as a horary. At the moment you posted, Neptune was exactly on Eastpoint (and had just slipped out of partile square to MC) in Beaumont, so "I'm confused" (or variants) seem like the tone - validating the chart as reflective of your question.

From a pure astrology perspective, Mars had been square Ascendant for the 20-30 minutes prior to your post. This planet combination usually gives a sense of threat or need to express something as drama. Venus is only 3° past Asc and was rising about when Mars squared Asc, so one would expect emotions, especially concerning love and relationship, to be tied into the psychological mass.

OK, back to horary: On a question of, "What's gong on with me?" the chart shows a state of confusion, disorientation, or uncertainty - that confirms the question is linked to the moment.

Moon is in 7th house. The main focus would probably be about relationship, others. Moon is separated several degrees from square Jupiter and immediately applying to no aspects, so this would be about something in the past, something that has faded. (Feeling of esteem, inclusion, rank? Other Jupiter theme?) This may simply be "in the past" or more specifically referring to an incident four units of time ago (4° separation), e.g., four days ago or four weeks ago.

The question is about yourself and the 1st house (self) indications are quite clear with that Neptune. Trying not to be vague (but to do that thing I do with horary where I mention themes and somehow my words sometimes describe exactly what's going on), this looks like a displaced sense of self due to a displaced sense of how one is (perceived, received) in relation to others. (Venus conjunct Ascendant would carry the same message.)

These "others" seem to be a collective others - a group, a particular cluster like a social group or co-workers as a whole - since the 11th house is packed with four planets of mixed good-bad-emphasis type.

Partile aspects - what's happening right now include Venus sextile Uranus (49') and Saturn conjunct Pluto (20'). Fitting this into the above, it's like, "Stuff just changed. What is it now?" It portrays your relationship to others as simply different - no good or bad, just different - while having the component that something is now gone that is gone for good and isn't coming back. (That's not intrinsically a bad thing either, but still has a separation, "irrevocable loss" thing about it.)

Recent past (separating aspects) also includes Sun conjunct Saturn-Pluto - about 3° past, so, like your transits, saying something happened about three or four days ago that is in the past.

Near future (applying aspects) also include Mercury square Uranus (applying 3°) and Venus square Mars (5.5°): Revelation, clarification in three units of time (three hours or three days, for example).


Remember, I don't swear this approach works, only that it's sometimes useful to look at a chart for the moment a question is asked.
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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Thu Jan 16, 2020 10:44 am

Hmm. I bet it’s the Neptune themes. Thank you so much.

Somebody said something to me yesterday by text that was the perfect, throat-cutting putdown. And it was just so vicious that it seemed non-sequitur and out of character. I couldn’t imagine any other way to take what they said, but I’ve been down this hole before, and I knew they just couldn’t have meant it that way. It took me a long time to be able to conceive of some other possible way of understanding what they said, but I finally did, and I let it go without saying anything defensive or stupid.

But the perceived putdown still wrecked me even though I decided it was unintentional. It rang me like a bell. Triggered all kinds of thoughts.. Ugh. So... something registering in my unconscious sounds dead on.

It was just so perfectly screwed up and powerful. It reminded me of bad mental places.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Jim Eshelman » Thu Jan 16, 2020 10:47 am

With the multiple expressions of the Venus-Neptune transit, take a look at this boilerplate interpretation for Venus-Neptune angular in a return chart:
Painful social embarrassment, feeling a fool in front of others. Compelling fantasy: surrendering to temptation, come what may (resistance buckles). "Love drunk" romantic thralldom inspires to ecstasy then humiliates. Disillusionment, embarrassment. "Hurt inside" that drives us home alone in self-pity, dazed by an unhappy turn of events. Betrayal by trusted intimates, betrayed alliances, perceived offenses.
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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:07 am

Jim Eshelman wrote:
Thu Jan 16, 2020 10:47 am
With the multiple expressions of the Venus-Neptune transit, take a look at this boilerplate interpretation for Venus-Neptune angular in a return chart:
Painful social embarrassment, feeling a fool in front of others. Compelling fantasy: surrendering to temptation, come what may (resistance buckles). "Love drunk" romantic thralldom inspires to ecstasy then humiliates. Disillusionment, embarrassment. "Hurt inside" that drives us home alone in self-pity, dazed by an unhappy turn of events. Betrayal by trusted intimates, betrayed alliances, perceived offenses.
Man, this is SO perfect. I mean, going into other events that have also occurred would definitely require some over-sharing, but, yes, this. Absolutely. Ecstasy then humiliation. Thank you. I guess I'm glad it's only two weeks. Damn... two weeks, huh? It's not my favorite.
Jim Eshelman wrote:
Thu Jan 16, 2020 9:06 am
Remember, I don't swear this approach [horary] works, only that it's sometimes useful to look at a chart for the moment a question is asked.
Yeah... Fits. It was my ex's sister, and our relationship has changed. I couldn't believe she would just devastate me like it seemed she did so offhandedly. It has happened before that she has said things unthinkingly that seemed much worse than she intended. It's kind of a foot-in-mouth thing with her... usually anyway.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by SteveS » Sat Jan 18, 2020 8:07 am

Lance, below link is your Solar Arcs (outside wheel) bi-wheeled with your Natal Chart (inside wheel).

Note Solar Arc Neptune partile cnj your North Node. As part of your short term cycles with your lunar return and transits involving Neptune—also expect this Solar Arc Neptune to be a longer influence on your Natal North Node.

Ebertin for the Sociological Correspondence tones of North Node:
Meetings, alliances, societies, contacts, blood ties, kindred and related people.
Also important to note t, Saturn and t. Pluto has been all over this Neptune Solar Arc hit to your North Node. Ain't no way you can expect now peace/harmony you desire with related family matters with this Solar Arc hit of Neptune to your Natal North Node! All you can do is to adapt the best you can with your conscious expecting Neptunian Crap with this Neptune Solar Arc involving your immediate environment with related family matters.

https://imgur.com/uoNzqD8

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Wed Jun 10, 2020 5:35 am

Main thing it seems...

t. Neptune square r. Saturn, 0*03’, still applying.

And like... man, do I just feel out of it.

It is very difficult to focus on work. I won’t exaggerate. I know what day it is, but I feel like, “Umm... what day is it? What the hell is happening? Virus, protests, work, parents, work, kids, future, money, women... What the hell is all of this? What’s going on again?”

Detached. I feel detached... Not detached from reality. That means something else. But like... being at the dentist on drugs while she works. That kind of detached. Cold medicine kind of detached. Medicine-head.

Drugged. I guess I feel drugged.

I’m afraid I’m gonna miss something or not get something done because my mind just wants to remain out of it.

But another part of me feels fine with not worrying about it - like it will all magically work out. And that worries me, but still. The feeling is there.

I don’t want to do ANYTHING but go see friends. But I’m more of a quarantiner, so I’m not doing that. I only ever go see my (ex) brother-in-law. But I don’t want to wear him out.

I am in a weird combination of moods where I feel like maybe I’m about to freak out, but also I feel kind of detached from that too.

It’s not comfortable.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Jim Eshelman » Wed Jun 10, 2020 7:37 am

You have my sympathy. The basic thing this transit should do is soften or dissolve anything concrete, defining, hard-edged, sure, etc. (And then the interpretation goes on from there...)

I'm going through the opposite. My SSR has (within minutes) an exact Moon-Neptune conjunction. I knew that the Sun-Mars square over the weekend fell on it - and that was the day I lost my hard contact lens which has me 80% blind for a couple of weeks - but I'd completely missed that transiting Saturn is semi-square my SSR Moon-Neptune. Sun-Mars-Saturn to Moon-Neptune with Saturn being the persisting factor. Life is literally a blur - and this is not only psychologically taxing but physically draining. Then, in the middle, I got some news that (by itself) means nothing, but my brain is wired to take it in the worst possible way. All the physical causes of depression are there - the loss of energy on every level, everything taking more effort, which makes it hard not to go the same path mentally. I'd like to just sleep until the lenses are manufactured and available so that I don't have to look out my eyes in the interim, but that's not very practical since I'm (from home) working full time. But I'm clearly not doing that as well as usual (and glad that we don't have as much to do while the whole firm is WFH).

Sorry, I just made your thread about me, in a sense. I hope you find something worthwhile for yourself in all that.
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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by TheScales_BothWays » Thu Jun 11, 2020 5:30 am

My heart goes out to you both. I'm very sorry.
Jim Eshelman wrote:
Wed Jun 10, 2020 7:37 am
Sorry, I just made your thread about me, in a sense.
To me, Jim, it doesn't seem that way. We on this forum don't often hear nor ask (at least on our threads) about how you are doing after all, you who created this lovely forum for us, and I really appreciate your sharing. Those aspects and transits look very awful indeed. I hope you get your contacts as soon as possible. And I hope you both will very soon come to much better places/states than you both are right now. 💗

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Sat Jun 13, 2020 7:04 am

Jim Eshelman wrote:
Wed Jun 10, 2020 7:37 am
Sorry, I just made your thread about me, in a sense. I hope you find something worthwhile for yourself in all that.
Yes. Sometimes I imagine that everyone else is happily surfing these waves instead of being beaten around by them.

Human looks good on you.

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