Solunars by Aldebaran Sidereal Academy

Venus_Daily wrote:a. Mercury 90 b. Mercury 0°33
a. Mercury 0 b. Asc 1°08
a. Sun 180 b. Uranus 0°28
a. Jupiter 0 b. MC 1°45
a. Venus 150 b. Uranus 0°30
a. Mercury 150 b. Moon 1°01
a. Sun 180 b. Mars 1°14
a. Venus 150 Mars 1°17
a. Venus b. 90 Neptune 2°02
a. Uranus 90 sun 3° 28
a. Sun 90 sun 3°35
a. Uranus 0 b. Mars 5°49
a. Venus 180 Pluto 6°49
Sorry for not having everything in order, I used the guidelines from the strategy of natal chart analysis, meaning prioritizing orbs and angularity to try and make things orderly, but I think I did sort of a bad job. Anhow, this guy that I’ve been dating since August, things have just been terrible, or I would not say terrible, there are just crickets chirping in terms of whatever we are trying to pursue. I kind of go back and forth between feeling that I am not wanted by this guy, and that it’s over or that I just want to smother him in kisses and nurture him. I don’t have his exact birth time, but he seems to be Pisces /spoke moon due to the anxiety and depression he suffers from on a daily basis. This guy had to move back home to the Northwest because he found a great job, but he insists that he does not want to break things off with me, and that he wants me to spend time with me in January. The problem is that we are having the exact problem that we had in person. He pushes me away when we get too close, then preaches to me about how we can’t stay in contact more often because he’s always busy and it’s just who he is. I’ve bent over backward to try and keep the lines of communication open because this is the first guy in 6 years that I can actually say I am in love with. I don’t know, it might just be time to get out my copy of “he’s just not that into”, get some Kleenex, and look for the next opening in any monastery. So down the charts, a. represents his planets and b. mine, I tried not to use too big of orbs except for conjunctions and oppositions. We have very few soft aspects in common, mainly a. Sun trine b. Venus, and a. Venus trine b. Neptune, and those are about 4°30 seconds each, so it’s not that big of a deal. We also have a sort of a close b. nodes cnj Mercury, 1°26. I know, obviously I need to follow my intuition, but I feel as though something in my gut is telling me there is something more I need to learn from this situation. This guy and I have almost everything in common except our physical and genetic aspects. Pluto has not come to aspect either my natal, solar or progressed Venus yet, but sometimes I feel like it has in regards to this person. Could this heavy Mercurial influence be souring the romantic aspects between us; with such heavy Mercurial undertones I feel like we should be communicating a lot more than we are.
My birth info is 9/4/84/ Kingsville Texas, 11:45 pm, and his 5/30/1985 time unknown

Jupiter Sets At Dawn wrote:

Venus_Daily wrote: The problem is that we are having the exact problem that we had in person. He pushes me away when we get too close, then preaches to me about how we can’t stay in contact more often because he’s always busy and it’s just who he is. I’ve bent over backward to try and keep the lines of communication open because this is the first guy in 6 years that I can actually say I am in love with. I don’t know, it might just be time to get out my copy of “he’s just not that into”, get some Kleenex, and look for the next opening in any monastery.

I don't need to look at anybody's chart for this one.

He pushes you away and says you can't stay in contact more often because that's just who he is.
When a man tells you something, believe him. He's telling you don't call him, he'll call you, when he's in the mood. Your mood is not important to him.

When somebody wants to be with you, you don't have to bend over backwards. If you want to keep him around for the occasional booty call, do that, but don't let him get in the way of connecting with somebody worth your time, Kiddo.

Jim Eshelman wrote:I agree with Jupe's common sense assessment.

As for astrology: A birth time would help a lot. He's a Taurus with a tight Venus-Mars sextile that (if he's born any time near mid-day) is a tight Moon-Venus-Mars construct. That's a horny chart, so sex shouldn't be a problem. But Taurus can be brooding and moody sometimes, and a birth time would help sort out some of the chart's priorities. (I've recently updated the Taurus Sun notes on the forum, and you might want to review them.)

Looking at the charts from your point of view, his Sun opposes your Mars-Uranus, setting it off - he really gets your blood simmering and probably makes you want to explode (in the best and worst senses). The Sun-Sun square is both compatible and conflicting, i.e., egos can get in each other's way when the "I am you, and you me" isn't foremost at the moment. His Jupiter on your MC is really nice - there are surely ways in which his behavior is generous and giving to you (though you dwelt on the opposite).

Flipping the charts, if he has a shy streak then your Mars-Uranus to his Sun might "come on too strong." It's actually a blitzkrieg kind of aspect and, viewed from his Sun's p.o.v., it startles, is aggressive, hits him hard and fast. You certainly don't bore him! Quite the contrary, he probably constantly open up new things for him. The question is whether his temperament likes this. If he's shy and conventional (remember, I don't have a birth time!), this (believe it or not) could be threatening.

Your Mercury's are exactly square: You can communicate, share curiosities, explore, and bring very different points of view (Mercury in Leo doesn't think that much like Mercury in Taurus). The only Venus between the charts, though, is your Venus square his Neptune, and that's potentially romantic because it imposes blinders, allows for fantasy and unrealism. Your Saturns stay out of each others' way (unless an angle is involved).

But I get from your post that you are crazy about him. Just take care of yourself. He probably has a 10° Virgo angle, in which case his Neptune is angular. Does this fit his temperament? A 9:15 AM time is interesting for him. So is 3:15 AM, which also puts his Moon square your Moon. But 3:15 PM puts his Moon closest into the Venus-Mars. (I'm just playing around here; but if you love him as you say, then your Venus is almost certainly on one of his angles, and I've only given options that leave his Moon in Virgo.)

Venus_Daily wrote:

But I get from your post that you are crazy about him. Just take care of yourself. He probably has a 10° Virgo angle, in which case his Neptune is angular. Does this fit his temperament? A 9:15 AM time is interesting for him. So is 3:15 AM, which also puts his Moon square your Moon. But 3:15 PM puts his Moon closest into the Venus-Mars. (I'm just playing around here; but if you love him as you say, then your Venus is almost certainly on one of his angles, and I've only given options that leave his Moon in Virgo.)

10 degree virgo angle, and angular Neptune fits him to a T, which also describes his lecherous side...you gentlement were right though, I took your advice, and ended it last night, it was your advice that just acted as a cherry on top of the cake.

Jim Eshelman wrote:It's tough feeling alone at any age, yeah?

Would it be rude for me to offer some unsolicited comment? Personally, I'd find a woman with a Leo Sun square a partile Mars-Uranus foreground conjunction in Scorpio awesome. (And the Sun-Moon trine adds charisma!) On the other hand, I've spent decades watching women with this kind of power, candor, and forthright sexuality... and mostly I watch them hit a world that doesn't know what to make of them, a world resistant at best (and often intimidated). I suspect you've hit some walls like that. (Do you still live in Texas? I don't remember at the moment.)

The other side is your nobility. You're a Leo-Sagittarius with your strongest angular planet being Mercury (partile square Ascendant). This combination usually comes across as aloof, "thinks she's better than us," "she's thinking and observing too much, you can just look at her and tell!" etc.

I'm sure you've found ways to moderate this - we all create little adaptive ways to moderate our presentation around others - but I still think it sucks that you have to hide any of your light at all. I'm certain you're awesome, and one or more someones are majorly missing out.

And, on top of that, you're an idealist and a romantic. The Leo-Sag is already idealistic, and then you have that Venus-Jupiter-Neptune construct. That makes stuff like this sting even more, I suspect.

Uranus is going to square your Moon soon - that will bring some (likely happy) surprises and opening things up emotionally. Saturn will cross your Descendant soon (and square your Mercury), and that's just a time to be aware of and make the most of; but Saturn crossing your Descendant also starts a period of you "breaking out," coming into a life-cycle phase of coming into your own and building to something over the next five years or so.

jamescondor wrote:Good job breaking it off! Remember that you made the right choice and stick with your decision. If the natural withdrawal effects of this change come back don't give into them but rather feel the joys and pains of your decision.
I am also 30 years old and have been through 2 serious relationships that ended painfully. Then time, including people, healed me. I learned that it's better to be single than in a bad relationship.
Many people are in harmful relationships and don't even realize it. They get used to it and think it's normal. They see other couples are similar and think it's normal too but its not. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship.

Jupiter Sets At Dawn wrote:Venus, I'm sorry. It's always hard to break it off, no matter what the relationship was like.

If you don't mind a little more advice.... one Leo sun to another. See if you can't go out with friendS plural, and play the field while you're at it - date several guys if you can. When you're exclusive with somebody, it's harder on you to drop him if he's not giving you what you need.When you're seeing more than one guy, it's easier for you to get your needs met. And honestly, dating is like job hunting. Remember most business people are men. If you already have a job, or a guy, they're competing for you, not trying to figure out what's wrong with you. You're more desirable if you're not immediately available.

Venus_Daily wrote:Thank You both Jims, and Jupiter for the kind advice you have given me, I am still sadly living Texas, can't wait to get the hell out of here. Jupiter, I understand what you mean about going on with several friends plural, but for some reason, I don't know if it's biology, or upbringing I have a very difficult time taking a sort casual attitude toward dating. I am still a virgin at 30, and growing up I always had this idea of serial monogamy. I don't know if it's my venus/Jupiter/Neptune or sag moon, but I've always felt that I should just be myself and the right guy will come along eventually. Under Saturn's influence I guess I am being confronted with the reality of dating as an adult, and how it really is, not the way I want it to be.
Thanks to both of you once again, a million times over

Jim Eshelman wrote:

Venus_Daily wrote:I don't know if it's my venus/Jupiter/Neptune or sag moon, but I've always felt that I should just be myself and the right guy will come along eventually.

It could, of course, happen that way.

From all I've seen in life (my own and others), that's kinda like saying that one doesn't need to go shopping - the refrigerator will stock itself. And with only the right brands!

Arena wrote:How interesting.

I think you got good advice here Venus_Daily.

What I feel like asking you now is this; do you really want to be with someone in a love and sex relationship? If you do, I recommend to you this approach. Sit down with a paper and a pen. Write all the qualities and values you want your man to have. Your dream guy/lover.
Kind of like they suggested above, but a bit different approach though. - If you take the fridge/food metaphore - just think of it as your shopping list and write only what you want in your man, do not write negatives - do not write what you don't want.

I might add that I did this a few years ago and it brought me exactly what I put on my list although I didn't really go out "shopping" or looking for it. Just be careful what you ask for, you might actually get it.

When you do this with concentration and honesty - it is amazing how the universe responds to you

Venus_Daily wrote:Thank You Arena, I need to get clear about what I really want from the universe, and do it from a healthy place