Unfamiliarity

[James Condor]

I don't know entirely, what happened to me astrologically, but I have been more of a mess lately. Pretty infrequent for me. I feel isolated, alone, anxious, manipulated, used, hurt, and sad more often. Time seems elusive, peace of mind too. I have some ideas of why this is so.
N Sun is no longer aspected by t Pluto
TNeptune nMars

I do not recall my SSR being malific.

[Jim Eshelman]

No, your SSR I fine - with the Moon-Venus square, it's even nice, and the most I would credit it with what you describe would be more often being "tender," even vulnerable.

I think changes are happening with you, and maybe some old armor is gone. Pluto made it up to conjunction with your Sun and has backed off, so the biggest astrological thing going on is a roughly two-year period of dismantling and reframing you.

Now, one additional factor is that Neptune is in partile orb of sesqui-square your Mars. You might loom that up. It also will last a year or two on-and-off, but it's more like "decoration" of the bigger Pluto process.

[James Condor]

Thanks Jim. I am definitely tender and vulnerable from Moon-Venus. Makes allot of sense.
I have looked into tNeptune-nMars since it became a transit of mine.This aspect shows me a part of myself, that I do not particularly like. Tneptune-nMars is like this blind fight, or pursuit with no end, no satisfaction, no enjoyment in the end. And the pursuit seems to be worth it at the time, until you realize you are being selfish and foolish. It is an empty feeling in the end. Because I have gotten what I want, but enough is never enough in this transit.

[Jim Eshelman]

I just had cause, this morning, to review the years Neptune has aspected my Mars in the past. From the long-view, they look like times I was kinda lost, didn't know where to point my energy, was coasting or waiting for someone to show me a direction or for something to fall in my lap, winding down one phase without having quite figured out the next one, etc. This may be too narrow and personal to be generalizable to you, but it's what I see from two periods in my life when I had Neptune transits to my Mars.

[James Condor]

Yeah, that's probably more accurate than what I just described. I feel, I have lost my direction. I do not know what happened to my purpose. I question my purpose, where I want to work, where I want to hang out, and with whom. I do feel lost. It is an empty feeling. Like, what is the point? What am I doing? Very routine, and stuck, and not knowing how to change for the better. Not suicidal, just FYI.

[Jim Eshelman]

So... this seeming in-course is the course the universe is laying out for you right now. Wandering mindlessly has its place in finding one's direction. When does the transit last leave a 1° orb?

[James Condor]

I wish I would have answered this right away. But I was going through and saw this again. Ironically, I feel pretty much the same now as then I did then in routine. I would guess it was worse then, but I still feel routine. I don't feel so meandering though.