Thank you for such an in-depth analysis Jim. What you say rings true to me, especially this point
Something that may be hard for you to hear is that this interaction is far worse on her than it is on you. (As bad as it is on you, it's surely worse on her.) It's her Moon - her vulnerabilities and responsiveness - that are feeling the impact of two malefics. On your side, her Moon is bringing out the worst sides of you, sides and traits and feelings that are contrary to (what I have learned in observing you) is a deeply compassionate heart.
When I am around her I see a side of myself that I wish wasn't there (quite harsh and lacking in compassion) and I cannot be around her because of this. There is much resentment there, accumulated over the years, that I feel will drive me to illness should I allow her back in my life.
To provide you with some background:
My sister was adopted by my parents and brought to Italy to live with us when she was 15 days old. Up until age 5 we were close, at age 6, when she started going to school, I notice her change towards me. She started displaying a mean and rebellious streak. She loved getting me into trouble and blaming me for it, when it was all her doing. We were not very close, and this behaviour became worse as we both became teens. She would laugh and enjoy seeing me beaten up by my parents. At school she would refuse to do her homework and prefer to socialise. She was born with a really good singing voice but had no real discipline to learn to use it properly. Apart from this there was no sign of mental illness. My sister appears to have a very stubborn personality, and she is a bully, however deep down she is weak and easily led.
I must admit that it was not all her fault. My mother contributed to this behaviour. To understand my sister's situation, one must understand my mother (born in Palermo, Italy on August 19th 1947, birth time unknown). My mother would give her preferential treatment, do all of her homework for her, appease every whim and even pay my sister money to "spy" on me. She then would send my sister to ruin my relationships with my friends, and she took pleasure in doing that. There was an incident in 2001, where we both became infatuated with a boy on holiday and my sister ruthelessly spread lies about me to the entire resort, because she knew she was too young to have his interest. My mother had prompted her to do so. I never felt close with my mother, in fact quite the opposite, she has always made me feel inferior.
In 2002 the relationship between my sister,my mother as a result and I degenerated completely. I met my first boyfriend in July 2002. I packed my bags and shut the door behind me, and did not see them or speak to them until 2008, when I made contact again. No efforts were made to find me although I was living in the same city.
When I saw my sister again in 2008 she was singing occasionally in a local theathre as an opera singer. She apologised for having beahved the way she did during her childhood. My grandmother died in 2008 and I flew from New Jersey, where I was living at the time, for the funeral. It was a brief moment over two days, as I was off again to the U.S. By then my sister was hanging out with the wrong crowd, and started using drugs.
2009 was a key year for both of us. I got married to my ex-husband and relocated to the UK, my sister's mental illness manifested itself then, as she started hearing voices.
My mother again told me never to speak to her again due to my choice of husband. From 2009 until 2014 I did not speak to my parents (my father does what my mother tells him) and I decided to make contact again in 2014 as I was ready to leave him.
During those years my sister had become someone else. She got herself into an enormous amount of trouble. She was raped multiple times, kidnapped, kicked my mother in the eye so hard that her retina detached, and developed a nasty drink and drug habit. She hung out with all the illegal immigrants she could find, and was found by the police begging in random parts of Italy, totally crazy as well, in a world of her own. Once she went missing for 3 months and the police found her naked, covered in filth, chained to a shopping cart full of rubbish in a gypsy camp. She was ranting and raving with the voices that she heard. She vandalised my mother's car and threatened to kill my parents with knives to emulate a murder she saw on the news. I could go on with a infinite list of bizzarre events that she was involved in, as the list is endless. She is now unable to hold a conversation without talking aloud with her voices. My parents and I have become voices too.
She just seems to attract violence and abuse, and has a very negative aura around her. Her eyes have a glassy, fixed stare to them that makes people very uncomfortable. It's like someone else is living in that body. In her low moments, she appears frail and infanitle, her mind is like that of a 7 year old. In her manic moments she screams and shouts (she is a big girl, much bigger than me) and becomes violent. She has stated that she feels entitled to beat up her family. In August 2017 she got raped and got pregnant, hand had a late medical abortion in November 2017. I am not sure if these key dates are helpful at all.
My sister has been resistant to treatment all this time. She was put in a rehab centre, all paid for by the health service, but fled to live in the streets and beg. Now the health service cannot offer her anything else as spaces are limited, and unfortunately in Italy, she cannot be forced to stay in a psychiatric ward, unless there is her consent. She will not give it as she is perfectly happy living at home, where my mother is her nurse. My sister has a highly addictive personality; she somkes 7 packets of cigarettes a day and drinks nothing but stimulants. She refuses her medication, which is crushed and put in her coffee by my parents. The medication however does little for her voices, and she has tried several combinations. Then, when she gets bored of being at home, she lives on the streets, where people steal from her and abuse her as they know she is mentally unstable. She likes living in the streets and she now has a network of degenerates who help her get drunk and give her a piece of carboard to sleep on.
She has now been declared as lacking mental capacity , and my father has power of attorney. The psychiatrists have diagnosed her as the worst case of schizofrenia in the region, and they have declared her a "ticking bomb". She could easily kill someone when she is in a manic mood swing, but unfortunately the law is such that it cannot be prevented.
She has also been diagnosed with emotional borderline personality disorder and schizoaffective disorder.
She has a knack for not owning up or learning from her mistakes, and anything that happens she manages to twist it and "re-write" the scenario in such a way where she is not the victim. She is also a very skilled manipulator, makes people feel that they should all cater for her needs because she has suffered the trauma of adoption. That tactic just winds me up to no end, but works on my parents.
On December 30th 2017 she attacked my parents again and went for me. My fiance was there and tackled her to the ground. He is now the aggress or and my mother, who was initailly grateful, has started to believe her psychotic rationale for the event. My mother is now begrudigly seeing my sister's psychotherapist (my father made her do so) because she is being seriously affected by my sister's mental illness. As all mentally ill people she cannot see that, and is only going there to appease my father.
In November, she nearly had me convinced to bring my sister over to Southampton when they die, and to sign all the documents needed to get her papers way beforehand. I thank the incident on the 30th of December in a way, it has opened my eyes, as well as your interpretation of my natal chart in this context, that it is a grave mistake to bring her over here. One us us is going to end up dead or seriously injured.
