Veronica

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Veronica
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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Jul 07, 2018 4:03 am

I go to court on Tuesday (finally) for our adjustment in child support.
if all goes well, I will simply provide my financial data to the court, as will my ex
and hopefully then they will simply review and either make an indication then, or give me another court date to come back. I really don't know how this procedure unfolds and with the games my ex plays, who knows what could happen.

so I looked at my chart transits on that day and some things of note that I saw was the moon opposite my Moon/Neptune/Jupiter
as well as mars pretty wide conjunct my mercury,
as well as mercury opposite my mercury.

Ive been going to court with this man in one way shape or form for almost 5 years now. by myself. he brings with him as many people as he can fit in the car it seems. I sit over by the police and I have no contact.
I always wished to have people come with me, my family and friends and big biker guys that I know and of course Craig, always. (wont catch him in a court house unless hes on the docket) I always wanted, not to be alone at those horrible times, and taking your ex to court and being pulled into court are always horrible times, at least for me.
this time though, at least for the past few days anyways, I want to go and just sit opposite of him and stare at him, bite my tounge but just look at him and in a real way I suppose, let him know that I do think I am fully in the right about all these issues and I wont back down and I wont be bowled over and intimated. its hard though. at least it has been hard in the past in these situations, to try and show compassion and mercy and forgivenness and all that healthy mind/heart gymnastics that humans do.

jupiter is in the sign of balance which I will take as blessing.


I had him arrested a while back which I am sure soured him even more towards me, so I am curious about what this day might bring my way.

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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Sat Jul 07, 2018 4:35 am

V, do you have an AA rated birth time with your birth certificate. I don't do Sidereal Astrology work without an AA birth time. I did not see your birth data listed on forum members :?:

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Jul 07, 2018 5:04 am

my BC say 12:41pm

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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Sat Jul 07, 2018 8:34 am

V, you may not get what you want on your court day with the stack of charts I analyzed, but the Judge may delay judgement to a later date. I looked at many charts, but my favorite chart to analyze is the Solar Quotidian (SQ), when you know ahead of time an ‘out of ordinary’ incident scheduled on a specific date. Below is link to your SQ 12,00 Noon on July 10 for Rochester, NY. Is your residence still close to Rochester? I find this SQ most interesting and I think is shows par-excellent symbolism for the circumstances surrounding your day in court. Remember SQ's are daily charts.

SQ Mars in Azi partile cnj SQ Anti-Vertex, a sensitive chart point, partile 120 North Node 1,06 cnj SQ MC. Obviously the North Node which symbolizes life "connections" with people is your ex-husband over a dispute (Mars) with alimony. SQ Mars partile SQ Neptune indicating you may not get entirely what you want, but SQ Moon a very important component in SQ charting is partile 135 SQ Jupiter-- so maybe a partial increase with alimony. Moon-Jupiter is good—so lets hope you have a good day in court.

July 10th SQ Chart:
https://imgur.com/a/LEx5XVn

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Re: Veronica

Post by Jupiter Sets at Dawn » Sat Jul 07, 2018 9:26 am

Veronica wrote:
Sat Jul 07, 2018 4:03 am
I want to go and just sit opposite of him and stare at him, bite my tounge but just look at him and in a real way I suppose, let him know that I do think I am fully in the right about all these issues and I wont back down and I wont be bowled over and intimated. its hard though. at least it has been hard in the past in these situations, to try and show compassion and mercy and forgivenness and all that healthy mind/heart gymnastics that humans do.
Why do you care if your ex knows you think you're fully in the right? What matters is the judge thinks you're in the right. So pay attention to the judge, and don't give your energy, to your ex. When you're giving him your focus and attention, and when you're actively ignoring him, you're giving your ex your power. Don't avoid looking at him, but he's not the important person in the room, and he doesn't need your attention.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Jul 07, 2018 10:52 am

Jupiter Sets at Dawn wrote:
Sat Jul 07, 2018 9:26 am
Veronica wrote:
Sat Jul 07, 2018 4:03 am
I want to go and just sit opposite of him and stare at him, bite my tounge but just look at him and in a real way I suppose, let him know that I do think I am fully in the right about all these issues and I wont back down and I wont be bowled over and intimated. its hard though. at least it has been hard in the past in these situations, to try and show compassion and mercy and forgivenness and all that healthy mind/heart gymnastics that humans do.
Why do you care if your ex knows you think you're fully in the right? What matters is the judge thinks you're in the right. So pay attention to the judge, and don't give your energy, to your ex. When you're giving him your focus and attention, and when you're actively ignoring him, you're giving your ex your power. Don't avoid looking at him, but he's not the important person in the room, and he doesn't need your attention.
Great advice and I hear you and that was my mid set.
I should have clarified. I ment, before I go into the court room (which you are not allowed to bring in other people at all no matter) when I am sitting in the main lobby like area ( this is the county court building, which means there will be about 200+ people waiting for their turn) THAT is where I want to sit directly in front of him, surrounded by hundred of strange eyes upon him and us. I want to look him in the eye before he goes into court with his lawyer to try to dispute that he should pay his fair share of his childrens living expenses. It wouldnt be a cold hard mean stare either it would just be the truth, a perplexing quizzical look to see if he will look at me and see me for once in his life. I dont care what he thinks one bit, because I know its all garbage fueled with hate and ager and jealousy and rage bound into an explosive cockatil.
im just curious to see what that would be like.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Jupiter Sets at Dawn » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:25 am

I still think that's giving your power to your ex, but I hope the day turns out well for you.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:45 am

Jupiter Sets at Dawn wrote:
Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:25 am
I still think that's giving your power to your ex, but I hope the day turns out well for you.
your right it is. in a way

but I also know him, and I know that being forced to sit across from me, with me staring at him, will make him sweat, and tremble, and turn red, and his breathing will get all messed up, and he will look like a big fat tomatoe who is about to burst, and cant do a dam thing about it......thats me in a way juicing up.

in a cruel way, it is almost an amzaing thisng to witness.

I dont know if you have ever stared into the eyes of someone who literally wants to kill you: who is looking at you with a murderous rage, for simply existing and holding your own personal belief system to your heart. its not nice and it was underserved. I think he deserves to have someone look at him with love an dcompassion and forgiveness....and he cant take that about me.

Sometimes, in certain situations it is completely appropriate to give your power to someone.

thank yo for your well wishes, they are much appreciated, like always I value your input:)

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Jul 07, 2018 4:04 pm

thank you Steve for taking the time to look into my charts for me. I am very interested in learning how to better look at these things myself, and I have to admit that your detailed response was fascinating, but it did express ideas/theories? that I am unfamiliar with, so my understanding of the meaning and how you came up with the data is pre-k.

the way Eric plays ball with the court systems is almost maddening, so I do believe you are right that my court date is not going to be coming up roses. the other thing that I truly do feel as well, is that Eric would have no qualms about just quitting his job for a while.
in his work he can make a living under the table for a while (machinist)……

ironically, after I wrote this, I was driving down the road and Eric pulled right out in front of me, with a truck filled with what appears to be all his stuff. he had been living in a small studio apartment. if I know him, he went out and got himself a huge place to up his rent, so that when the courts look at his financial papers instead of paying 250 in rent, he is now paying 2k. hes a jerk like that.

oh well, out of my hands, but I do love how the universe seems to put my in the right spot at the right time....

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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Sun Jul 08, 2018 3:19 am

V wrote:
if I know him, he went out and got himself a huge place to up his rent, so that when the courts look at his financial papers instead of paying 250 in rent, he is now paying 2k. hes a jerk like that.
If he does this and things don't go your way in court, I would try to speak to the Judge and ask Judge to give me a little time to prove Eric is using false pretenses for his financial papers. With some simple investigated work, this should be easy to prove to Judge. Judges don't like trickery in their Court and have the power to reverse rulings of any kind with proofs of court trickery. May true justice be on your side V. :)

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court today

Post by Veronica » Tue Jul 10, 2018 9:57 am

so, today went as aspected (expected, lol)

he did not show up with the lawyer, and the magistrate was not happy about that. he said he was representing himself.
he did not bring his w-2s for 2017, but 2016 NY (no fed), which showed his income at 55k.

after her calculations she determined that the children should be getting $218 a week (my birthday number, lol)

she asked if I was happy with that, at whihc point I told her that I believed the children were entitleed to %25, and I had documentation that shows he is making conciderably more then what he is declaring, and that we also have 2.5 years of errears owed.

so he has a bunch of document to provide and noterize and we will be back on court on Aug. 17th.

which has a nice semi conjuct Transiting venus to my Uranus, and some nice jupiter aspects.

I got there first and got the hot seat right by the door, when he got off the elevator he was alone and stood there for a moment looking at me, until i looked up from my book and made eye contact and then continued reading. in the courtroom, he quickly got upset with the magistrates berating him for jerking her around about the lawyer, and his voice broke and he got all red and sounded like he was gonna cry when he heard me refuse the 218.

upon dismissal, I arose quickly and slid over to him a packet of "mememtos and his original Birth certificate, things I had found in the house that I thought he may life to have. didnt say a word, just slid it to him and slid out the door.

so I know I am getting at least 218, whihc is better then the 180, and hopefully she will grant us the 25% of current income and/or at least calculate an errears amount and garnish a portotion of that out as well.

so good things.:)

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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Tue Jul 10, 2018 6:35 pm

:) Keep us informed with happenings on Aug 17.

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caught in the mosh

Post by Veronica » Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:08 am

a few weeks ago when I went to the Casino for the concert, we hooked up with a old chum from Jr. High and his wife.
even though me and this girl have met briefly before, we never hung out, and it was a very nice connection that we had that nite, lots of pleseant small talk and girly things. After the concert, this couple texted my firned mike who I was with and told him to give me their phone number.

it was a nice feeling, becasue ususally females have no interest in hanging out with me, and this womans husband, was someone who in jr high I had thought was a really nice guy, even though he was an outcast of sorts and bullied. we always jibed well in class and made each other laugh.

well anyways, this woman hit me up the other day and asked if I would like to go to the lynard Skynard show with them, 20 dollars to see Charlie Daniels, Marshall Tucker and Skynard. I grew up with my older brothers listening to southern rock and I Had wanted to go, but......its a harsh crowd, and well, not to be judgemental but pretty redneck and all that MAGA stuff, to put it nicely. These are the type of people (the crowd)who dont really click with me, and espicially the males. its the sort of thing I wouldnt go to by myself, and even going with a bodygaurd puts me at a sensitive point.

if I am looking at my charts correctrly I see

progressed mars conjunct my venus
progressed moon square my moon, jupiter, neptune
progressed Pluto conjuct my pluto
progresses jupiter conjunct my moon
progressed neptune conjunct my moon

and for transits i see
transit venus opposite my sun
transit moon opposite my venus
transit mercury opposite my mercury

it is going to be 90 degrees today, and I am sure the beer is going to be following in people.

I am looking forward to the show and hanging with April and Scott, they are really nice people and I enjoy talking with April.

I am also hoping to "ride" a wonderful ride where you are buckeled into this swing like apperatus,.......hauled up into the sky and then dropped like a pendulm to swing back and forth like a flying bird.

Free Bird will be playing in my head lol.

I used to attend concerts alot, and alwasy had a very strong sence of the crowds energy. i find crowds very taxing and overwhelming at times, espicially if I am not in my proper head space and being my authentic self. I tend to shirk and try to not draw attention, but I get so happy and excited listening to music and being around happy people that.....things tend to get rough altercations of violence.

I dont really like the Mar/venus conjuction going on, I had some very bad dream the other night, that stuck with me for the day, but Im not going to let that stop me.

On an aside: I noted that it was mentioned that during this transit stuff I got working for me now with Mars/neptune that I need to be cautious of my immune system. I have severe allergies, that have been in remission since I split with Eric (!) but now that I am packing up my belongings and such, have hit me full force. I am thinking that for me, this aspect is telling me that during this phase of moving and shifting and all that, that my immune system is going to be assulted with things that are gonna make me severly uncomfortable, so i should stock up on benadryl and my inhalers.

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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:42 am

I never go to a music concert without first checking the stack of Sidereal Mundane Astrology (SMA) charts to get a feel for the psychological reactions of the crowd at the concert. I will try to give you an example later of the par-excellent planetary symbolism for the free Stones Concert many years ago in California policed by the Hell's Angels when things turned very ugly and a person was knifed to death, halting this free concert. If you want to offer the time and date for the Skynard Concert, Jim or I will be glad to scan the psychological temperature for this concert. After Jim taught me SMA, I never ever plan any kind of outdoor venue where thousands of people gather without first checking the stack of charts for SMA.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Fri Jul 13, 2018 9:18 am

gate open at 6pm july 13, 2018 in Darien Center NY.

Im turning off my pc and heading out so I can jump on that ride before the show. but will check on my smarter then me phone.
thanks:)

my irish skin is goona need sunscreen....moon opposite the sun

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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:51 pm

We go to musical concerts to soak-up the good music--enjoy. :)

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:09 am

SteveS wrote:
Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:51 pm
We go to musical concerts to soak-up the good music--enjoy. :)

ah but I could very well do that at home. I could llisten to all the songs and sing and dance to my little hearts contect and really get myself into a blissful state, all alone. I dont go to concerts for the music. I go because i have a need to be apart of the crowd, to see all the different sorts of people in the world and get myself Out of myself and gain perspective that the world is filled with every little walk of life, each one with its strenghts and weaknesses. I go out to the stores, or to the park because I have a deep need to set aside myself and expierence the greater cycles and movements of life.


it was hard for me in some ways to walk around an amusment park all afternoon by myself, surrounded by scores of people all grouped togther in thier little families/circles. In many ways I am looking for a connection (ie someone to relate to talk to/ ride teh rollercoaster with) but I have this air of unappraochablitly. people do not usually ever approach/connect to me unless I give some sort of signal that it is ok. Craig actually in a very mature way told me how I send mixed signals to males espicially, a smile, eye contact open posture....he actually sees right through the {bs} games I play with myself and calls me on it.

when the show was over and it was time for me to walk the long walk back to my car all by myself, my friends were worried for me walking throught the parking lots of drunken tailgaters who were the residul afterbirth of the show. I told them that its ok, men dont ever come up and appraoch me and if they do cat call or act like I am prey, my nature quickly flairs up in an affronted way and the pirate look in my eye lets them know I will have no problems serving them back the same. I look like a handleful and a challenge and trouble, and most it seems find that attractive at first, but the natrure of most people it seems is the desire to avoid trouble and danger, and the blokes know intuitvely that I can go the rounds.

it was a great show and the sky was so beautiful, we even had fireworks and lasers and not to toot my own horn, but I have never been to a concert where anyone can make as much noise as I. I am blessed with the ability to whistle louder then any train. it always shooks everyone around me, that I can do that. My girlfriend came up after she first heard my whistle and asked how on earth can I make that loud noise, I said something about I am a messenger from god and I was blessed with the gift of being noisy and drawing attention to myself.

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new friends

Post by Veronica » Sat Jul 14, 2018 10:17 am

over the winter when I worked at goodwill, I encounted a man who I clicked with. he was buying books and was chit chatting about what types of books he was interested in. low and behold he was among other things, a professional treasure hunter of sorts (!) and a geologist who had traveled the world mining and fossil hunting and all that stuff that I had ever dreamed of doing back in the day. His wife had gotten an excellent job and the had recently relocetde to the area. ironically they live a few a mile or so down the road. I went over to their home, and found it to be a mansion, 36 plus rooms, each one filled to the brim with stuff, expensive rare original stuff, books, paintings, gems and minerals, every where you looked.

he asked me one day to take a trip with him to his farm, where they had lived to gather up a bunch of stuff left behind. and this home was as equally rich. it really was an assult on my sences to be in these rooms, with no bear walls, no clean surfaces, no blank slate, just stimulus after stimulus.
he told me about all the times he had moved across country, lugging all this booty with him.....rocks are freaking a PITA to move as well as books, crystals, art......ect....

it blew my mind.


in my early life I seemed to have amased a collection of things that fed my ego, my books and clothes and jewerly and crystals and such, things that in a way helped empower and strenghten my ego and give me an identy. my boyfriend Jason deleighted in buying me things that he thought would make me happy and resonate with my desires. my husband on the other hand hated my things, and would destroy them, pissing on my books and plants, burning my journals, breaking the crystals and nick knacks my mother had given me, and just in a very real way trying to destroy me via destroying my things. eric also in a moment of regret (?) would lavish me with unwanted things like slutty clothes, a drum set, lasers, disco ball, and just stuff I had no desire for, but he wanted to make up for hurting me so he would spend hundred of dollars on stupid things to feed his ego I suppose.

Craig really never bought me things like jason and eric would. Craid gave me practical things, like a cooker, and nice respectful clothes and good food. even though he had more money then both those blokes together, he never tried to buy me, or impress me or make me feel indebted to his generousness or give me things just to make me happy. he knew things dont make me happy. I really liked that about him. he gave me what I needed and what I would ask for. al I have to do is ask, and he would give it to me, and I wouldn't have to prostitute myself for things like eric and Jason made me feel like. I may have to wait a bit though but Craig also has a better sence of time then I do (in some regards) and a sence of timing.

as Im packing up all my stuff I am just floored with this desire to throw it all away, to pass it all on. all my books and clothes and crystals and knick knacks, and things I used to hold so close to my heart as a part of me. I have no attachment to. I want no attachment to these things. I think about the home I need to move to, and how Im supposed to decorate and embelish and make it mine, so that my kids have a sence of self and identy and security.....but it feels so hollow and false. I have things that are very valuable, to the right person, things that are beautiful and inspiring, to the right person, yet that person just isnt me anymore.


I dont know what I am going to do with all this stuff, I want to just toss it. but my things are a very real symbolic repersentation of my own inner garbage, and like a good environmentalist I understand there is no "away" to toss your garbage it all ends up somewhere for someone else to process and break down and desseminate. like the sad process of clearing out a beloved possesions when they die, and what a horror that is for the family, and how instead of realy looking at the items as a fragmant of the person lost and appreciating it and seeing it and the person for what it is, people just box it up, dirt dust doghair and all, and haul it to Goodwill and get a tax right off for making someone else deall with thier garbage.


my new friends love thier stuff and go out hunting for more stuff everyday and Im happy for them that they have that entertainment. yet ive really shifted away from who I was projecting out, and really would much rather have a home with nothing in it save a few little objects that fill me with love when i look at it. I want my new home to be like a butterfly net, trapping in natural beauty and love and letting that love dance across empty walls and surfaces freely with out getting enshared on aspects and angles and forgrounds and backgrounds and all that.

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93 million miles away....

Post by Veronica » Mon Jul 16, 2018 2:14 pm

I came across this gem today, while reading another thread and it really struck Accord with me.
Mr. Eshelman said
“Remember:
1. Change is inevitable - we either take it in small doses over time (if we are open to change) or in large doses all at once (if we resist change until it becomes irresistible).
2. How you view/experience life now does not necessarily bear much relationship to how the person you will be in (say) five years views/experiences life, and you probably have no way of knowing what that will be. (You can't see the new perspective on the world until you are standing in the new lookout point).
3. The main point of all of this is to evolve you. Life will drive you toward certain internal change. You can make these voluntarily on a purely psychological fashion, or events can "corner" you into making a new choice or adopting a new way of looking/thinking. I think the key to a happier life is to hear the universe when it whispers so that it doesn't have to eventually scream at you.

Right now, life should be exciting - opening new possibilities - exposing you to new realizations - most things looking so new that you think you haven't seen them before. Your biggest foe in this is the habit of looking at things the way you always have in the past, and wanting things to stay the same.”

Well that certainly got me a little hot and bothered, in a good way. It made me reflect upon some harsh words I had heard from my father and friends about what good my beliefs actually do me, what good use does knowing these astrological connections serve in the here and now. How can knowing that mars is square Neptune help in any practical real way. Especially when it can be down right depressing in a way to know that you are in some funky mud for a while and there isn’t much you can do but endure.
But there is something “much” you can do
All these aspects and angles and symbols and connections that we see and experience and can track and say, yup that a stop sign, yup that’s a hospital sign, yup a curve is coming, is a very powerful way of experiencing all the rich diverse dynamics that life has. It is a human need for information, a need to feel apart of the greaterness of life, and not a part from it, splashing against the currents of life from which we have no control over.
You cant stop what’s coming down the road. You can control your attitude about it though.
I look at afflicted charts of friends and family members and see the signs, but my limited perception only allows me to see the signs that are apparent to me. There are a million and one other things out in the world, influencing us, each and every moment, on top of mars and moon and dna, so many things that we cannot comprehend. I stop and ask myself, what would make this better, easier, nicer for them. There is always only one answer.
When I got to the end of this little gem, and read the words….”right now, life should be exciting” and that sentence in the context of the original post, was like a friendly pat on the back saying, you have some good things in your chart right now…. I was like AHA! I gotcha. But I reread it, because I know I never have an real arguement with Mr. E and that I need to slow down as sec.

Mr. Eshelman is a Master of Words, and while that is what he meant, that right then and there some good astrology was going on……I believe that he also was reminding us all that in each and every moment of life, each breathe should be infused with enthusiasm and most of all Love, because while the charts may show things that are going on around us that we do know how to interpret, there is also a lot of unseen influences going on at every single moment, and it serves us well to make the most of each moment right now, and to live with Love in your heart.
When Mr. Eshelman wrote “I don’t care what the charts show……, this isn’t good for you” I had a vain…..HA! moment, smug in myself in a way that their was something to be said about my relationship with Craig…….
Yet again though, the Master of Words, was not validating my lovesickness. He was demonstrating Love for me by saying there is so much we cannot see and understand, and while the charts may say such and such about transits and connections and all, that we must allow ourselves to trust that there are unseen forces going on, and that when the road map is saying one thing, but the reality is different then you must get out of your head, and into your heart, and act through your heart.
When you shut yourself down, and get ridged and cold and dwelling on things in the past it is a death, and it is a very hard habit to get out of. Love is the most important medicine for all afflictions, whether it be a sniffle or a Saturn return.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Jim Eshelman » Mon Jul 16, 2018 2:45 pm

:D
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Good Morning

Post by Veronica » Thu Jul 19, 2018 7:29 am

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.” J.M. Barrie

Once upon a time,
That’s how the best stories start. They hook you in with a mystical opening to lead your heart to the possibility of your own imagination. They don’t start out, with a specific date and time and fill in all the blanks for you. They let your own mind wander to what ever time and place your self needs. Those four little words have the power to be like a firm foundation, the corner stones of what ever your heart desires to build upon. They remind me of the phrase Love under will, and I think in a very real way they are the same, and that they are a key to unlocking the greatest tool box humanity has at its disposal. Imagination.

My own story is a collection of words that I tell myself about who I was. I can say at any moment, I am Veronica, I’m 47 , I live in NY, I have two children, and as I tell my story I am concreting in the now my past, who I was and what experiences I have had. Yet there is so much more to my story, my past then what my words used to describe it are, I select the things I want to focus on, the things I think are important, the things I think will help me navigate my world around me. I chain myself down with all these words and all these telling’s of my story, my perspective in an attempt to relate to my world and survive as best I see fit.

I collect books. That’s another story about myself. I collect the words that others have painstaking laid out to express some perspective, experience and reality. To the authors of these works I have collected they must have been a very important message, to go through all the trouble of forming the ideas in the head, of writing them down and rewriting them so the perceived audience would be best able to receive the message, to understand what this other human being thought was so vital to Know.

Books are a wonderful thing, and the words I have found in some books have changed me in ways I never thought possible. They got into my head and made me pause and reflect and then through a strange process similar to conception, they plant a seed in my heart, a seed of life that if I nurture and care for, will grow into a beautiful flower.

I love flowers. Love love love them. Each one reminds me of how life struggled to be, to live and fully express all that it was capable of expressing. Once upon a time, our hot bright sun shined down on this planet, before there were flowers, or life at all and fed the waters of Gaia with a possibility. Yet the waters did not Know what to do with all this energy at first, the sun beat down and nothing was happening no life until one day some little spot exploded with the possibility of life. the spot was able to take the energy, the life giving information that it was being fed from the sun, and understood that and became more then just one spot. Cellular division, the cell, that had within it the code of all life potentials was able to divide itself, and move beyond the limits of just being one single sell, and thus over time developed into a plant, which developed in to a flower.

It was a miracle of life that gave that original cell the desire to move beyond what it had been into what it could be. It moved beyond its old story it had been telling itself and was in the moment and made a choice to become something different.

Humans forget. Humans forget that they have that power within them at each and every moment in time to write themselves a new story. To be more specific though, it is mostly adults that forget that they have the magical ability to play with the imagination and to create from their dreams a new reality. Children though, who are still awash in the deep waters of the creative womb can play and let their fanciful mind make real what ever they want. They can play with dolls, or trucks or building blocks, or sticks and stones and leaves and they will dip into that pool and transform reality, the ultimate magi, they weave the threads of a potentiality that is as real as anything in this world. The house they build out of legos is just as real as the house I live in, to a child.

I lived in a story once, that was sad and mean to my perspective, to my limited senses. It was not fanciful and full of potential but dark and cold and unpromising. It was torture to live that way, and my being was slowly growing old and cold and dead, and the life force of nature screamed out to me to dip into the realm of childhood, into that limitless potential of what could be, and to dream a new dream.

When I awoke from my dream, I had a renewed Love that filled me that moved me towards being alive to the fullest.
I dreamed a simple dream, a dream of another, of another who in my dream seemed so perfect and complete and whole and open and Loving, and my being was transformed from the depts of Death to reach like the germ of a seed breaking through the hard shell, pushing through the earth, reaching towards the warmth of the sun to live and express life.

Now reality of the world seems so concrete and firm and unyielding but that is not the truth, reality is just the opposite, fluid, and flexible and yielding but our limited human capabilities veil us from these truths and we have to push and stretch like the little seed and move beyond the cold earth, beyond the force of gravity, beyond the hands of time and Love ourselves and trust ourselves, which is a magical thing, something a child does so easily.

In my dream, I met a man and we had dinner and simple conversations and at the end of our dinner he gave me a way to stay in touch, he gave me an address in which I could write to him. I felt so good waking from this simple dream, it filled me with hope. It filled with such emotion that it carried into my reality, into my day to day life and changed that cold hard story I had been in, into a story filled with love of life and the mysteries of life.

Now one usually does not dream a dream like that and have it pan out to be anything but a fancy, but my dream was different for it was filled with a deep desirous need to break the chains that I had bound and wound myself to, to rewrite my story into one that had a happy ending, and a happy begiing and a happy everything in between. I needed more, I needed something beyond a dream I needed something concrete in this solid world.
I was so inspired by my new feeling of hope for life, this feeling from a simple sleeping dream that I wrote words down to try and express what the gift of this dream had done to me, how it had transformed me from my old story into a whole new book. It was a simple poem that spoke of love and hope and inspiration. When I had awoke from this dream into the reality of earth, I had this address this contact to reach out to this dream man, and so in a bold moment of desire to share this precious gift of renewed life, I sent my poem to the address I pulled out of thin air in my dream state.

I sent a love Poem to a real life Rock Star. A man who was world famous. A man who by all means should be completely unreachable and unattainable. In my dream I had seen the email address he wrote down, and in my reality I sent my poem of love and desire to him, out of a need to feel validated that I was not just imagining some fancy fantasy of meeting a rock star.

He wrote back and thanked me for my beautiful words. He wrote back and validated that dreams can come true. Yet of course the reality is if you are a millionaire rock star and you receive a love poem from someone, defenses go up, and fear of the unknow creeps in a manner created to support survival.

This validation that I had of my beautiful simple dream of having a nice dinner and chat with someone who had enriched my life with his music, who had barred his soul through his tender songs and shared his pain with the worlds, fed me in the most incredible way, it fed my desire to break from from this old story of death and decay that I had been living in. I was filled like a child with all sorts of dreams and potentials and in a vain attempt to bring my new found love of life, of the love of the miracle of possibility I looked deeper into this man and found that when I looked at him I saw so much of me, the things that hurt and the pain and the sadness.

This man, by simply being a ghost in a dream gifted me with a self empowering feeling that I thought I could take on the world, that I could do anything. If I could dream up the actual email address of a rock star, then why limit myself to just that. Yet I also felt a deep desire to share with this man something I had, a gift to me that had helped me get through the cold dark days. It was a book of hope and promise and inspiration. I wanted to give back to him some little bit of the gift of renewed Love that unbeknownst to him he had given me. It was my most precious book and I wrapped it up and sent it to him, and it was sent back and my Love felt frustrated yet not deterred.

And in that moment when the book came back and the antagonist in my story found it in the mailbox, my cold hard story transformed into a different sort of hell. A hell in which I now was truly consciously being attacked and hurt and suffered spiritual murder on top of real threats of murder.

The man in my dream gave me another key, a more important key then the email address. He gave me a number. In a simple article in a magazine, he dropped his key for the whole world to see, a key to all there is to Know. The moment I saw this number, printed in black and white I knew it was a key, even though I had no idea at all what it meant, or what door it would open or what it meant. It inspired me to look and see what I could find out about this number and what this rock star could possibly be talking about.

So I looked up this number on the internet and it led me to a man who I believe is the keeper of all the keys to unlocking our hearts desire.
And that is my story of how I got the pleasure of knowing Mr. James Eshelman. Hes a funny guy and he has a heart of pure gold. He wouldn’t let my last post on my chart sit right where I thought it should sit. Nope. 93 million miles and now back again.

The thing that I love the absolute most about Craig is how at anytime of day, any time…..when he sees me, or picks up the phone or sends a text he opens up the line of communication with the most powerful words in the world. Words that wipe away every little thing in the past, every bad thing, words that ring of the promise of any all potentiality.

“Good Morning”
And when his silly friends say, “its four oclock buddy”
He smiles
And says

"Its morning somewhere."

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