Jim Eshelman wrote: ↑
Sat Dec 29, 2018 11:51 pm
Primarily from Bradley:
Enthrallment, deception (misrepresentation), fanciful autistic thinking, impracticality (frustration of plans). Vulnerable to being deceived or making wrong decisions. Promises now made are unreliable (or worse). One has good reason to distrust the truth and sincerity of solicitations. Embarrassment from blurting out the wrong thing: Guard the tongue, ignore gossip mongers (and resist obsessing about whether their whisperings are about oneself).
So this conjunctio coming up in my solar return is a pretty big thing. Espicially since the angular Jupiter is dynamically feeding it.
In a wierd way I have allready been working on de emphasizing it. I got rid of my facebook account and my blog and I am quite happy about all that distraction and stuff being gone. I dont talk to people from my hometown/ schooling anymore, dont care too, Im to emotional and sensitive and they all are neptunian hitting on my sun which breeds gossiping and all that.
Ive really had enough slaps in the dace from sharing my personal insights and acomplishes with my sisters, who love me enough to listen but then go tell all the rest of the family.
It hurts when I call someone to tell them some good news and they allready know. Joy killer.
Growing up with alcohol and drug addiction issues, I have never trusted promises. A promise to me is a way of getting out of doing something right now. I promise Ill take you to the park....never happens. I promise I buy you new shoes...never happens. The dysfunctional ism in that type of dynamic also makes me very distrusting of any and all solicitations. Watching Craig deal with his people gave me an ever deeper clarity of motives and why someone is being nice and patronizing.
Im glad in a way that all that yucky backstorey expierences in my life are there for me to reflect on and draw from during this upcoming year.
Im not a slave and now that I have been alone for so long, feeling each emotion as it comes and goes, clearly and not masked with anything or suppressed by things, or ignored or pushed diwn I dont feel like those points in the conjunction are really going to be bad for me. Its good to know that the universe is going to give me events in which I get to utilize my kindness in situations and to be true to my own real needs.
For someone who has this dynamic in thier natal chart right from the beginning of life, I can see how challenging life as a whole could be. How do you demephasize what appears like the world trying to take advantage, enslaven, and decieve you at every corner, or worse that one gets so wrapped in ego that one exhaults those traits inthemselves.
I would think one would have to not take things personally and to remain true to what is real and now and rememver that with this configuration the people and events that are seemingly trying to bind and control and manipulate are doing so out of thuer own issues and needs and drives and its not about you.
Its about how you consciously choose to live each breath. Happiness is a choice after all.
I dont know how else to de emphasize that conjunction.
If you have any ideas or input Id love to hear em.
Ps. On that nasty venus/saturn pluto.....now that I dont smoke Im going to start whitening my teeth. I reflected about things I am jealous of and white teeth do hit a nerve. So thats another disfigurement...in a unicorns world.