Solunars by Aldebaran Sidereal Academy

I'd sincerely appreciate it if anyone here could spare their time to interpret my SSR for this year. My birth details are in the forum archives.

This year is crucial to me because I'll finish all my 6th form exams, and later in February/March 2019, apply for a degree course, where the results of the application will be known around late July. That is if I pass my 6th form exams.

I made the stupidest mistake of entering the science stream. It wouldn't be that hard, I thought.

It was too late when I knew I couldn't cope with it. It was too late to change streams. So I thought I could manage the rest of the year because I don't wanna start over doing something else, you know, one year gone to waste I thought. No, it made me lose interest my interest to study, thoroughly.

Now it's two years wasted if I fail my 6th form exams. (One and a half years actually.) Who knows what my parents will react.

There's a Mars-Mercury square aspecting natal Saturn in my Solar Return, and solar Saturn semisquaring natal Mercury, so maybe I would fail. There's Neptune on MC, probably showing that I'll soon wonder what am I going to do with my life.

At least I have a Moon-Jupiter square in the SSR. Solar Jupiter is background, but Solar Moon isn't. Solar Uranus is also 0º00' from conjunct r.Jupiter. With Neptune on MC, maybe it means better chances of me doing something related to my talents and artistic/dramatic inclinations instead of going for academia. (BTW, I remember Danica recommending me to do a Myers-Briggs personality test a year and a few months ago. I am an INFP if that matters.) Next year there's also Uranus transiting and stationing on my natal MC and Zenith, hopefully that brings some positive and refreshing changes.

And then on love. Is solar Venus partile on natal IC a good sign? They say love comes when you least expect it, but as a 19 year old Libra, it's hard not to think of and find for love.

Hugs

Hiya!
Im not the best one to look at your chart and tell you what is going on so Im not going to. I did read your post though and just wanted to say that nothing is ever wasted. I think its awsome that you tried something and didnt completely toss in your hat when it got tough. You have strenth and couage and hope and that comes through in your words. Even if you do fail and have to try something else you have a great expierence under your belt and a positive attitude which means you can achieve anything you put your heart into. Life is long and you are young and have a lot of opportunity and options that are going to come your way and as long as you keep a clear head and an open heart I know that you will meet all your needs and then some.
Btw I will say this about astrology....I dont think it matters one hoot where Venus is. Shes there and thats the most important thing. Shes always there. Doing something or another and if you can remember that each moment each day and fill your heart with that....its an untapped well of Love that we can always draw strenght from.
I think this year is going to be great for you and I cant wait to hear about it!

Hi Scales,
Some quick thoughts about your current SSR. First, that culminating Neptune certainly appears to be manifesting with the worry about encountering the tough ‘science stream.’ So, I can certainly understand about the main theme for your current solar year will be a continuing worrying theme about your studies. Your SSR Mars tight cnj Natal Uranus, imo, symbolizes the accident that occurred by entering the ‘science stream.’ Mars-Uranus is par-excellent symbolism for all types of ‘accidents.’ Be careful in any other accident prone environments. The partile Mercury-Mars 90 will only operate on a background manner. There have been times in my life where Mercury-Mars cycles have given me:

Powers of thoughts, the realization of thoughts and plans.

So, lets hope this manifest positively for you with extra “powers of thought” for your tough studies. And as you pointed out, you have that SSR Moon-Jupiter, which is a major influence in your solar year. Also, I see another positive influence in your SSR-- Uranus partile cnj your Natal Jupiter, which is an influence for the whole solar year. Jupiter-Uranus is Ebertin’s “Thank you Lord” aspect—so we will hope in the end when you get your test results you will be able to look-up into the heavens and exclaim: “Thank You Lord” (Jupiter-Uranus). Keep us informed on your final test scores.

Thank you both dear Veronica and Steve.

Veronica wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2018 4:41 am Hiya!
Im not the best one to look at your chart and tell you what is going on so Im not going to. I did read your post though and just wanted to say that nothing is ever wasted. I think its awsome that you tried something and didnt completely toss in your hat when it got tough. You have strenth and couage and hope and that comes through in your words. Even if you do fail and have to try something else you have a great expierence under your belt and a positive attitude which means you can achieve anything you put your heart into. Life is long and you are young and have a lot of opportunity and options that are going to come your way and as long as you keep a clear head and an open heart I know that you will meet all your needs and then some.
Btw I will say this about astrology....I dont think it matters one hoot where Venus is. Shes there and thats the most important thing. Shes always there. Doing something or another and if you can remember that each moment each day and fill your heart with that....its an untapped well of Love that we can always draw strenght from.
I think this year is going to be great for you and I cant wait to hear about it!

Veronica, thank you so much! That is so sweet of you to say. I sure hope this year turns out great.

I love it that even though you're quite the rebellious and emotionally powerful Aquarius-Scorpio with a Moon-Neptune aspect, you've chosen the path of embracing your child-like joy and happiness. We all should, in my humble opinion. There are days where I feel hopeless, and it's sometimes by letting me feel some of that childlike joy and happiness I get to feel much better. Sometimes it's through watching funny videos, especially ones that make me behave so "super gay ", "YASSS" and super shallow, but it does make me feel better. It's like doing a stretch and having all those tensed muscles loosen up and finally relax.

SteveS wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2018 7:12 am Your SSR Mars tight cnj Natal Uranus, imo, symbolizes the accident that occurred by entering the ‘science stream.’ Mars-Uranus is par-excellent symbolism for all types of ‘accidents.’ Be careful in any other accident prone environments.

This is fine symbolism, Steve. But I entered sixth form on May 2017. When I realised the subjects are way tough for me to handle, I wasn't too surprised. It was more like "Well you are in the sixth form, (equivalent of an A-level) of course all those science and math subjects are going to be on a whole new level". The only thing I did well was in MUET, the Malaysian University English Test, Malaysia's equivalent of IELTS, and passing it is a requirement to get into any degree course in local universities. I got a "band 5" out of 6 "bands" in MUET, the highest being "band 6", and most universities' minimum requirement is either band 3 or 4.

I should've been more assertive with my academic direction. I could've reapplied for a diploma course in local universities in a field I'm more interested in, even if I would be a year late. ( I did in 2017 but didn't get any offers, that is mainly the reason why I got into sixth form.)

SteveS wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2018 7:12 am The partile Mercury-Mars 90 will only operate on a background manner. There have been times in my life where Mercury-Mars cycles have given me:
Powers of thoughts, the realization of thoughts and plans.
So, lets hope this manifest positively for you with extra “powers of thought” for your tough studies. And as you pointed out, you have that SSR Moon-Jupiter, which is a major influence in your solar year. Also, I see another positive influence in your SSR-- Uranus partile cnj your Natal Jupiter, which is an influence for the whole solar year. Jupiter-Uranus is Ebertin’s “Thank you Lord” aspect—so we will hope in the end when you get your test results you will be able to look-up into the heavens and exclaim: “Thank You Lord” (Jupiter-Uranus). Keep us informed on your final test scores.

Thank you Steve. I hope I'll at least pass enough that I can apply for a degree course in a non-prestigious public university. I can't afford getting into a private university. 20% of my grades are from experiments and assignments, which I did well, so I hope those would help me boost any failing grades to a passing one.

If I fail, I can apply for a diploma course again next year, as my 2016 SPM results aren't that bad. I've completed my resit exams on Malay last year and gotten an A-, up from a C. Now I've got 3A's, 4A-'s, 2B's and one C.

Anyone other thoughts?

Hi dear Scales,

Others have already replied and I'd like to add a little bit to that:
Your almost partile SSR Moon-Jupiter is closer in orb then Neptune on the Midheaven (2°07') And you also have a partile SSR Moon trine Sun which is quite nice for numerous pleasant contacts. See the interpretation here under trines and sextiles:
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=225

From the interpretation on the forum conjunct the angles:
NEPTUNE conj. MIDHEAVEN or ZENITH
Identity and life direction confused, uncertain. Easier to dream than to transform dreams into reality. Applying imagination in successful, functional ways is the main need. Practical matters require focused, conscious attention.

When you treat the SSR as the natal for the year, you have several aspects within one degree of orb:
Mercury square Mars
Mercury trine Neptune

SSR planets aspecting your natal chart within one degree of orb and no natal planets foreground:
t. Uranus - r. Jupiter 0°00'
t. Venus - r. IC
t. Saturn - r. Mer
t. Mars - r. Saturn
t. Sun - r. Venus

I would tend to think that this year worries you indeed as it is uncertain. And you have taken some steps which you regret. In your natal chart you have Neptune also conjunct your MC and are used to it so you can handle it quite well.
As Steve mentioned, SSR Moon-Jupiter, t. Uranus- r. Jupiter and t. Venus-r. IC are indicators of a positive unfolding. Perhaps even new romance, jayyy . The rest of the chart to me is that you work hard for the results, it's not easy however with some frustrations, it should bring you the desired succes in the end. Keep us informed how things are going, will you?
Regards,
Flo

Thank you for your input, dear Florence.

FlorencedeZ. wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:48 am And you also have a partile SSR Moon trine Sun which is quite nice for numerous pleasant contacts. See the interpretation here under trines and sextiles:
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=225

It is interesting that Jim says Sun-Moon aspects in the Solar Return represent crisis, significant turning points, passing from one phase of life to another. With the Sun-Moon aspect being a soft trine, and Moon also squaring Jupiter, I hope this "crisis" doesn't turn out to be as bad as I worry it to be. Also, I'm liking it that Sun-Moon aspects signify relationship opportunities. It's a good opportunity for me to observe how the Sun-Moon trine works in SSRs as compared to Sun-Moon hard aspects. (Does anyone else have any personal observations of Sun-Moon trines and sextiles in SSRs vs. the hard Sun-Moon aspects?)

FlorencedeZ. wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:48 am I would tend to think that this year worries you indeed as it is uncertain. And you have taken some steps which you regret. In your natal chart you have Neptune also conjunct your MC and are used to it so you can handle it quite well.

Yes the worry and regret is increasing as days pass by. I do hope I'll be able to handle it well.
BTW my Neptune's actually on my Descendant, but I'm sure you probably just made a typo.

FlorencedeZ. wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:48 am As Steve mentioned, SSR Moon-Jupiter, t. Uranus- r. Jupiter and t. Venus-r. IC are indicators of a positive unfolding. Perhaps even new romance, yayyy .

Fingers-crossed hopefully

FlorencedeZ. wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:48 am The rest of the chart to me is that you work hard for the results, it's not easy however with some frustrations, it should bring you the desired succes in the end. Keep us informed how things are going, will you?

I'm sure I'll definitely keep you guys informed if things turn out positively. Thanks again, Florence.

"Crisis" just means turning-point. Cross-roads. It comes from Greek krisis which means to decide or judge.

Crisis has a generally negative meaning currently. If it's not meant to indicate a negative, perhaps it should be taken out of the delineation.

Jupiter Sets at Dawn wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 12:06 am Crisis has a generally negative meaning currently. If it's not meant to indicate a negative, perhaps it should be taken out of the delineation.

Maybe, although that means substantially reconceiving the whole Moon-Sun connection in returns. "Change" doesn't exactly do it - this is the exact word that carries all the nuances.

Even Dictionary.com gives as its first interpretation, "a stage in a sequence of events at which the trend of all future events, especially for better or for worse, is determined; turning point."

Jim wrote:

"Crisis" just means turning-point. Cross-roads. It comes from Greek krisis which means to decide or judge.

So true! Partile/tight aspects of Sun-Moon in a SSR are clear ‘signs’ for major ‘turning-points’ in life, and imo, feel like ‘crises.’ Below is my 1998 SSR featuring a New Moon, and it indeed marked a major ‘turning-point’ in my life which felt like a “Crisis.” This marked the point in my life where I quit a good paying job in a life-long passion of the Theatre Business, and took a major pay-cut with another career. This involved the biggest decision I ever made in my life pertaining to business with much worrying, note Neptune partile cnj Ax.

Scales, partile Sun-Moon aspects in a SSR are very important. I have no experience with partile 120 Sun-Moon aspects in my SSR’s, but if they count as a ‘sign’ for a life turning point in your life, then we begin to understand you experiencing a ‘crises’ in your life with your studies/school. I still believe things will turn out as a positive for you with your current SSR.

My 1998 SSR showing Neptune/Ax symbolism for much worrying with a ‘crises’/turning point in my life.

https://imgur.com/a/nSCkhDO

Jim Eshelman wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 11:32 pm "Crisis" just means turning-point. Cross-roads. It comes from Greek krisis which means to decide or judge.

Yes I have been made aware of the word's original meaning in your older posts, and I read your interpretations with that meaning of crisis in mind. I was just speaking while keeping in mind, that whatever crisis (turning point) I may go through this year may not necesaarily be a welcome or easy one.

SteveS wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 7:30 am Scales, partile Sun-Moon aspects in a SSR are very important. I have no experience with partile 120 Sun-Moon aspects in my SSR’s, but if they count as a ‘sign’ for a life turning point in your life, then we begin to understand you experiencing a ‘crises’ in your life with your studies/school. I still believe things will turn out as a positive for you with your current SSR.

Thank you for the input, Steve. Thanks for also sharing with us your 1998 SSR. It has a partile Sun-Moon conjunction on MC - that is some major symbolism indeed! Not to mention you have a partile natal Sun-Uranus square. So your natal Uranus was squaring SSR Midheaven too.

For me...

1984, Moon-Sun op. 1°21': Had the spiritual breakthrough that clarified in moments the whole direction of my life. Thereafter, offered a shot at running an international organization for life, spent months in see-saw debate because I knew it was inconsistent with what I'd learned about my future, and managed to get someone else elected instead - all ending a couple of weeks before the SSR expired. (Took a secondary role in the organization for the next few years.)

1986, Moon-Sun sq. 0°52': Less sharply defined (unless you were living inside my skin). Under this one I concluded a significant task for the above organization with which I'd been charged years earlier - call it a karmic duty - resolving all necessity to commit energies to it any longer. I did, in fact, stat connected another seven years, but the trajectory dramatically shifted during this year, setting me up for very critical life-altering conditions the year after.

2007, Moon-Sun conj. 2°08': Being about a year with my current employer, it was four months after this birthday that I shifted position and job site, completely stepping up and redefining my career here thereafter.

No more until 2026 . It's a New Moon that year, so has the feel of a New Start or some sort.

Scales wrote:

So your natal Uranus was squaring SSR Midheaven too.

Indeed! 1998 was a major change in my life in other ways. It was the solar year for my first contact with a Siderealist who taught me much about Sidereal Astrology and viewing Sidereal Astrology charts with Solarfire.

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, Jim! They along with Steve's 1998 SSR were very insightful. Wish you also had some SSRs with Sun-Moon trines and sextiles to compare with haha. Maybe I can; at the end of this SSR.

SteveS wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 7:52 am It was the solar year for my first contact with a Siderealist who taught me much about Sidereal Astrology and viewing Sidereal Astrology charts with Solarfire.

Aha, so that's where Uranus fits in perfectly. Sun-Moon isn't too bad of a symbolism too. You did learn something that changed the way you saw and used astrology on many levels.

TheScales_BothWays wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:08 am Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, Jim! They along with Steve's 1998 SSR were very insightful. Wish you also had some SSRs with Sun-Moon trines and sextiles to compare with haha.

Oh, I do - I just didn't add them to the search because they are so comparatively minor.

1955, Moon-Sun sextile 2°55': I was 1 year old. I'm sure it was a decisive, ground-breaking year

1960, Moon-Sun trine 0°13': Started kindergarten a month or so before my birthday, so it was my first year in school. Definitely a trend-setter for the next dozen years.

1970, Moon-Sun trine 0°34': My sophomore year of high school. By the time the year was half over I'd published my first articles in American Astrology and Spica, so my budding interest in astrology had hit a new level.

1989, Moon-Sun trine 1°06': The biggest changes came under the prior one, starting a whole new enterprise that has embodied much of my life's work, and I was already well into establishing my law practice (though this might have been a year in which new contacts/relationships boosted that). The one stand-out for me by memory is my trip to Australia-New Zealand a month or so later, my only international travel outside of North America.

2002, Moon-Sun trine 1°09': Some reinvention. Having been unsuccessful at reinventing myself career-wise due to lack of certifications instead of lack of ability, I completed a few months of schooling and tested to get some credentials soon after this birthday.

2008: Moon-Sun trine 2°31': So much happened that year, it's hard to treat it simply or even get a lot of perspective on it. (LOL, Moon conjunct Neptune could be responsible for the fog.)

No others until 2031.

Scales wrote:

Aha, so that's where Uranus fits in perfectly. Sun-Moon isn't too bad of a symbolism too. You did learn something that changed the way you saw and used astrology on many levels.

Exactly Scales! My astrological life/studies changed big time with Sidereal Astrology. The Feb 13 1998 Moon-Mars Quotidian which almost took my life, changed my life in so many ways beginning with the 1998 SSR.

TheScales_BothWays wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:07 pm Does anyone else have any personal observations of Sun-Moon trines and sextiles in SSRs vs. the hard Sun-Moon aspects?

Hi Scales again ,
During my previous SSR, t. SSR Moon was sextile my SSR Sun 0°38'.
What I really noticed is that I socialized a lot more and I mean a lot.
Compared to other years I enjoyed it so much, being with many others.

Eating out with friends who introduced me to their friends. And inviting people for lunch and dinner at my house. Sometimes the group was big.

Probably what I noticed the most is that it was harmonious and pleasant, there was no hurry. I remember telling myself, wow, I can do this without getting stressed That certainly was a turning point and a positive one despite having SSR Saturn angular.
Regards,
Flo

Don't forget, Scales, the interpretation for these trines and sextiles is quite different than for kinetic aspects:

Trines and sextiles of the Sun and Moon are characteristically different from conjunctions, oppositions and squares for two reasons. First, they are static aspects. Though all couplings of the lights are inherently robust, there isn’t the pressure to do something with trines and sextiles which is built into the dynamic aspects. Rather than primary phase changes, they are more likely to indicate personal re-evaluation from an introspective point of view.

The second difference is that, while the previously interpreted aspects are actually solar Moon transits to natal Sun, soft aspect transits don’t seem viable. Therefore, Sun-Moon trines and sextiles are more truly blendings of a transiting Moon with a transiting, rather than natal Sun, personalized by their presence in the Solar Return. Two things result from this. First, there is a greater chance that the individual will receive special attention from some significant personage or authority in the outer world. Secondly, relationship opportunities seem to be more numerous, but far less climactic, than with dynamic aspect contacts.

Thank you again, Jim and Florence.

Jim Eshelman wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:16 am

TheScales_BothWays wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:08 am Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, Jim! They along with Steve's 1998 SSR were very insightful. Wish you also had some SSRs with Sun-Moon trines and sextiles to compare with haha.

Oh, I do - I just didn't add them to the search because they are so comparatively minor.

1955, Moon-Sun sextile 2°55': I was 1 year old. I'm sure it was a decisive, ground-breaking year

1960, Moon-Sun trine 0°13': Started kindergarten a month or so before my birthday, so it was my first year in school. Definitely a trend-setter for the next dozen years.

1970, Moon-Sun trine 0°34': My sophomore year of high school. By the time the year was half over I'd published my first articles in American Astrology and Spica, so my budding interest in astrology had hit a new level.

1989, Moon-Sun trine 1°06': The biggest changes came under the prior one, starting a whole new enterprise that has embodied much of my life's work, and I was already well into establishing my law practice (though this might have been a year in which new contacts/relationships boosted that). The one stand-out for me by memory is my trip to Australia-New Zealand a month or so later, my only international travel outside of North America.

2002, Moon-Sun trine 1°09': Some reinvention. Having been unsuccessful at reinventing myself career-wise due to lack of certifications instead of lack of ability, I completed a few months of schooling and tested to get some credentials soon after this birthday.

2008: Moon-Sun trine 2°31': So much happened that year, it's hard to treat it simply or even get a lot of perspective on it. (LOL, Moon conjunct Neptune could be responsible for the fog.)

No others until 2031.

These are pretty good manifestations for the Sun-Moon trines and sextiles, which in the way I'm seeing it right now, represent the intermediary transition of the phases of the Moon from the earlier major phase to the next major phase. Thank you so much for sharing, Jim. Very insightful.

FlorencedeZ. wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:37 am Hi Scales again ,
During my previous SSR, t. SSR Moon was sextile my SSR Sun 0°38'.
What I really noticed is that I socialized a lot more and I mean a lot.
Compared to other years I enjoyed it so much, being with many others.

Eating out with friends who introduced me to their friends. And inviting people for lunch and dinner at my house. Sometimes the group was big.

Probably what I noticed the most is that it was harmonious and pleasant, there was no hurry. I remember telling myself, wow, I can do this without getting stressed That certainly was a turning point and a positive one despite having SSR Saturn angular.
Regards,
Flo

That sounds great and pretty exciting too.

Jim Eshelman wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:43 am Don't forget, Scales, the interpretation for these trines and sextiles is quite different than for kinetic aspects:

Thank you for pasting them here, I needed to reread that.

Jim Eshelman wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:43 am Trines and sextiles of the Sun and Moon are characteristically different from conjunctions, oppositions and squares for two reasons. First, they are static aspects. Though all couplings of the lights are inherently robust, there isn’t the pressure to do something with trines and sextiles which is built into the dynamic aspects. Rather than primary phase changes, they are more likely to indicate personal re-evaluation from an introspective point of view.

Got it.

Jim Eshelman wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:43 am The second difference is that, while the previously interpreted aspects are actually solar Moon transits to natal Sun, soft aspect transits don’t seem viable. Therefore, Sun-Moon trines and sextiles are more truly blendings of a transiting Moon with a transiting, rather than natal Sun, personalized by their presence in the Solar Return. Two things result from this. First, there is a greater chance that the individual will receive special attention from some significant personage or authority in the outer world. Secondly, relationship opportunities seem to be more numerous, but far less climactic, than with dynamic aspect contacts.

This seems pretty positive! We'll see how my SSR partile Sun-Moon trine will work out.

Crisis!

Okay, so I thought why not if I share how this year went with you guys, so here I go...I may even share how my 2019 SSR went too, in this very same thread because I didn't create any specific one for that SSR.

So this year had Neptune on MC, solar Moon squaring Jupiter and trining the Sun, a Mercury-Mars square aspecting natal Saturn and t.Saturn aspecting r.Mercury, and it was mostly that.

I did fail my sixth form exams, unfortunately. Three C's and one F in the Maths subject, where the F pulled my CGPA down to a failing one. Yeah I felt awful, was filled with regret, and I almost got depressed. I tried getting drunk one night, hoping that would make me feel better, but it was actually a horrible idea. I was drinking in my own room, so no worries, everyone, I was physically safe. I just felt even more horribly depressed.

SSR Moon aspecting Jupiter probably manifested as my second chance, my getting admitted into my preferred Diploma course. It probably also manifested as laziness during the months I was in home before entering university. I did try to apply for a job in a mobile customer service centre but I failed to get through the interviews. (Mars-Mercury to natal Saturn?)

As Jim had said, the Sun-Moon trine did indeed manifest as a "crisis", a turning point. I got into university in June 2019, so it didn't really feel like I was regressing or starting over, as some way or another, I would be entering a tertiary learning institution to further my studies anyway. Getting adjusted to campus life also felt like quite a natural process. I never got homesick, I liked walking around campus and visiting the library, and of course, characteristic of Sun-Moon aspects, and of entering into university, I made a lot of new contacts and friends.

My first semester (June to October) went by under this SSR. It was good, it had challenging moments with some tough assignments and strict lecturers, but I was able to make a good impression of myself onto them. I think that would be my SSR Moon-Jupiter square (or my partile angular Jupiter from my 2019 SSR, showing its effects beforehand). I got my 1st semester results after my 2019 SSR, so I'm not sure if it's under the dominion of this return of the next one, but I got a good GPA, and I even made it into the dean's list. It was great to see a good GPA after getting used to seeing failing ones throughout sixth form.

I did have solar Venus conj. natal IC in this return, but I didn't really get any romantic opportunities. Though, I did have my first sex experience on 28 June 2019. It was with someone on a dating/hook-up app, so it wasn't meaningful; I didn't have any significant transits for the day and my active SLR didn't have anything angular. But my partner was gentle, attentive and sweet and I did appreciate that. I later had sex with two more men, (the last one was in September 2019) but they weren't great ones, and pushed me out of hooking up. And oh, actually, earlier in the middle of February, I kind of had a sexual experience with a guy, but we just fondled each other, that's all. (Sorry if that was TMI.)

Confession (content warning): I also had something sort of a sexual experience with someone during early January 2019, but it wasn't a welcome one. It was a "date" with someone older -- we were just meant to watch a movie but he acted up to grope me, though thankfully he didn't go all the way. My hormones made me buckle into temptation but I felt horrible soon afterwards, as it was unwelcome and I wasn't ready for it. Thankfully I was able to move on from that event, though I am still apprehensive and cautious of dating elder men till this day. The SLR under which this happened had Pluto and Uranus angular, with Moon semisquaring (and in the midpoint of) a partile Mercury-Mars square. Yes, we did meet each other online. Don't worry, I already blocked his number after expressing that I am no longer interested in him.

I think this sums up the year more or less. The bad events made it seem like this was a bad year, but it was an okay year for the most part.

Okay, so I'll move on to my 2019 SSR now.

This SSR is a benefic one. It took place in Klang (as my birthday fell on a semester break and I got back home), and it had Jupiter partile (0°52') squaring the Ascendant (on the Nadir). Neptune was 5° below the Descendant, which was the furthest Neptune had ever been from my SSR angles. Usually it's at least within 3 and a half degrees from an angle, as I was born with Neptune closely angular. As for SSR Moon aspects, solar Moon was moderately squaring both transiting Mars and natal Mars, but I didn't really feel or notice any significant Martial manifestations.

I got my 1st semester results under this return, a good GPA and I made it to the dean's list, even. My second semester was from mid-November until early March, and it went well too. I got a bit lazier, but I was still able to complete assignments satisfactorily and earn good grades. My GPA for the second semester actually improved a little bit, which surprised me, but also I am thankful for. I also gained lots of great experiences. I took part in a one-night camp under a co-curricular subject, which was super fun as I bonded with groupmates and classmates, had campfires and cooked some simple meals under a clear waxing gibbous Moon sky. I took part with setting up a hall for an international event that my club organised, and also took part in some other club events, which made me receive an award for being one of the best committee members in the club.

I also took part in two beginner-level debate competitions in December, and my team won both of them. I also made good friends with the seniors who trained my team. It was super fun to learn from them and practise with them as they were also very sweet, friendly knowledgeable and kind.

My third semester was supposed to be a "short semester" of seven weeks from late March till May, but unfortunately my whole nation (and the world) got into quarantine and my semester was postponed. It then got cancelled. It's kind of a shame, because I had transiting Jupiter squaring my Sun throughout most of that period, but I suppose that transit manifested instead as the privilege of being safe at home with my financially-okay family during a very serious pandemic.

I also travelled twice with my family, first to Penang Island in December, and then to Malacca in the middle of March, but we went back home after our first day there after the PM announced our partial lockdown. I enjoyed visiting both of those places.

Most of March until July went by just staying at home, which I didn't mind. I actually didn't gain any weight despite being under a Jupiter-themed Solar Return. I may have lost a bit of weight actually, since I lost some of my appetite from living a very sedentary lifestyle, vs how I used to eat quite a bit while I was on campus because I was always busy and going here and there. My sleeping schedule was also thrown off significantly...I was always awake all night and only slept throughout most of the day. I still struggle with sleep sometimes. (Maybe it's the partile Moon-Mercury sesquiquare in my return?) I also consistently worked out throughout the month of May, but I got too tired and too lazy to keep up with it by June.

In early August, I went out on a date with a guy I met on tinder. He was about a year older than me. It was a nice, sweet date: we took the train together to the city, we did a little shopping and we held hands when no one was looking, which I loved. But unfortunately we don't talk to each other as much these days.

Then on the second week of August, my (namely) fourth semester began, and it's still going on until December. Lectures are completely online so I'm at home in Klang. On that very same week, Saturn had also began its transit to my Sun, which lasts until early November. My Saturn-Sun transit has been manageable so far, but yes, every now and then I get crammed and burnt out with tasks and assignments to complete. My procrastination is also to blame for this.

Jupiter is generally considered as a non-romantic and non-sexual planet, and throughout this year, I haven't had any sex experiences with anyone (which was also because of the lockdown and my decision to stay away from hooking up for a while). While I did go out on a date (as I mentioned above) and had some conversations with a number of guys who I was interested in, I did have trouble developing feelings for them. I think it's because it's harder for me to develop romantic feelings from chatting with someone I only know on the internet. On the other hand, though, it's so much easier for me to develop feelings for someone who I see in person, even if I may not have had much conversations with them. This is going to be a challenge since I live in a homophobic country, where most gay and bi people are closeted, so most gay and bi people try to find partners on dating apps instead.

I think this is all I have to say for my 2019 SSR. I hope my reflections on my past two SSRs are helpful to you guys in some way, and I apologise if I was sharing too much information in any of them, and/or if it's hard to follow them, since they're too long, aren't strictly chronological, and probably have poor sentence structuring.

Thanks Scales, for sharing, and for being so candid in the name of teaching us.

The beauty of our SSR's teaching us about our innermost moments.

Hi Scales, thanks a lot for sharing this, it's great info. I always learn new things from you and these SSR's are full of them.

Thank you JSAD, Steve and Florence for your sweet words.

SteveS wrote: Thu Oct 15, 2020 11:25 pm The beauty of our SSR's teaching us about our innermost moments.

Indeed 🤩