Solunars by Aldebaran Sidereal Academy

Originally posted by myself on St. Valentine's Day, 14 Feb 2017, 11:58 pm
All times of postings here are as in MYT/UTC+8.

So, today, St.Valentine's Day, is ironically the last whole-day of my Neptune-to-Venus transit that started during April 2015. Finally! (?)
I said "last whole-day" because my transit ends at 15 Feb around midday here in Malaysia, and I want to keep the "Valentine's Day as my last Neptune-to-Venus transit day" symbolism.
Though symbolically speaking, I believe it would be more apt if Valentine's Day was the start of my Neptune-Venus transit instead of the end.

I'd like to share briefly (or not so briefly, ) on how these +/- two years were.

Early in the transit, I became more aware of the beauty of nature surrounding me, and made me more appreciative of art (the basis of which was formed as a result of my preceding progressed Moon-Venus conjunction at February-March 2015) instead of being more aware of my inner feelings and needs for love as I was after my 2015 SSR. Autumn became my favourite season of the year, (and was very disappointed and saddened that Malaysia doesn't experience the four seasons) and I completely feel in love with the night sky. I got into amateur astronomy and registered myself into a well-known amateur astronomy forum. Didn't had the money to buy neither binoculars nor telescope though, so it was mostly viewing the night sky by my naked eyes, which I loved so much regardless. I probably tried my best to observe the sky every day. I hated cloudy and light-pollution-filled night skies. Now I'm not that into amateur astronomy as I was at 2015, but never will I be less amazed by the night sky, and I always try my best to not miss important astronomical events. I also loved the mythology associated to the constellations and planets, which was part of the reason why I soon got into astrology. (I was fairly interested in astrology when I was much younger, though.)

I also got to realise that I am gay, which I was actually pretty comfortable in getting aware of. In fact, realising I'm gay made sense on why I had homosexual-like experiences and feelings when I was a child. Realising that I'm gay also made sense on why I'm really not sexually attracted to women that much and why I get easily repulsed when the guys in school talk about sex. And besides, their crude, raw and at times misogynistic sexual fantasies are just too distasteful for the romantic, meaningful and feminist Libra me. (By feminism, I meant gender equality BTW, not nazi-feminism.) (As a side note, I am only attracted to women romantically, but I don't think I'll be wholly happy and satisfied in a relationship with a woman anyway, and I'm not saying this with sex as the single factor.)

Throughout this transit, I also got more aroused by sensuality and romantic erotica, and I absolutely loved kissing/foreplay scenes in movies haha.
I also got very desperate to kiss and hug my crushes during the separate times that I loved them. Obviously I couldn't get the chance to talk with them, let alone to fondle, which wasn't comfortable for a 16-year-old gay male who has his love and sex hormones skyrocketing.

My transit became one hell of a romantic and emotional roller-coaster after the transit was highlighted by my 2015 SSR. Right exactly on my 16th birthday, I fell for my Dallas crush, who shared my birthday but was born 10 years ago.
Then, like night replaced day, after 6-7~ish months, I lost interest in him and I fell for my school crush. This night seems to be a very long one though, I still like him! Sigh! (And yes, there was a "dusk/twilight" period where I loved them both and even liked some other guys for a short while.)

And of course, you guys know how I loved them both very deeply, the ecstatic highs and depressive lows, and also that the period when both Saturn and Neptune transited my Venus was the most soul-distressing period of my life, especially in a romantic perspective. I felt like I was in a curse, to fall in love where my feelings will never be requited. All my efforts to contact and get to know my school crush fell into vain.

It's so depressing that none of whom I loved during this transit loved me back in return, and that my crushes were really hard to get. My Dallas crush was gay, but lived too far, who knows when I'll be able to got to Dallas if at all, and he never read my messages that I had sent to him in a vain attempt to be friends with him at first. (He has thousands of followers, so he's probably used to ignoring messages from unknown people.)
As for my school crush, he was straight and later I got to know that he was taken. Like for my Dallas crush, I tried to be friends with him first, but I couldn't get the chance, and school was coming to an end, so I tried confessing to him through my letters, and he never replied. :'(
At least, had he said "no", or had I knew he had a girlfriend earlier, I would've easily left him without the hurt that I have now.
Nonetheless, I loved the feeling of love that I had, especially when my love for my crushes were still new. My pursuit of making them love me back was also fairly pleasurable and had its own funny moments. :')

Interestingly, both my Dallas and school crushes have their Venus on 18°Hub (18°Scorpio and 18°Aquarius respectively). At first I didn't know why this is so, but now I think it's perhaps karma having its play? From April onwards, it will be their turn to experience Neptune transiting their Venuses.
But seriously, I don't want them to get punished and make them feel guilt for not loving me in return. I just want either of them to love me back, that is all. And besides, my Dallas crush never knew of my existence, let alone my love on him so he is innocent! My school crush, on the other hand...ugh. Perhaps he deserves the transit?
Though this transit may manifest differently in their lives though, perhaps this transit will bring them a happier romantic life instead of a disappointing, unrequited one. Especially since part of the time Neptune transits their Venuses, Uranus also makes 45° series aspects to their Venuses too, and unlike for my case, Saturn is now way past their Venuses. So it may just mean "fun" and "romantic highs" for them instead of "retaliation" for not loving me back. Oh I'm such a tropical Scorpio lol.

This transit as a whole opened my heart to beauty, art, love and erotica, and perhaps helped me in becoming more of a Libra. I also got more in touch with my feminine side of myself, especially when I loved my school crush. (Cuz he was straight, and the only way to win his heart is to be a girl if not happen a miracle that he somehow gets to like me, so I suppose that's why I felt more in touch with my feminine when I loved him.) Despite two heart-wrenching love affairs, I'm still not completely closed and afraid to the idea of love, and I'm still open to falling in love again—perhaps because I know it's somewhat foolish to be afraid to fall in love again when I actually loved people who didn't love me. I know that reciprocated love is way better than this and it's so much more worthwhile and rewarding, whenever I'm going to get myself into a reciprocal relationship, that is. It'll come when it does, Scales, be patient.

I am very thankful though that I wasn't abused by anybody by my rose-coloured view of the world and men. This was probably the only bright side of my one-sidedness of my romantic endeavours.
Though, honestly speaking, had one of my crushes loved me in return, this period would've became the best romantic period of my life ever. I don't care whether would my Neptune-Venus transit and Saturn-Venus have brought disappointments and break-ups in my relationships if I had been in one, as I'd be grateful that at least for a brief moment, my love loved me back.

My next Neptune-to-Venus transit would be a Taurus Neptune squaring my Leo Venus around 2056, and to a weaker extent, an Aries/Pisces Neptune sesquisquaring my Venus around 2036. I wonder how I'll feel those transits then. Definitely not in a teenage-ish, blindly-romantic way like my current Neptune-Venus transit, that's for sure. Perhaps (esp at 2056) I'll be more spiritual and will love my grandchildren if I got any. I don't know, we'll see how it manifests when it comes.

Adieu, and Au Revoir Neptune, though I'm not really sure should I miss you, or be relieved and celebrate that you're leaving instead to be honest. My time with you being opposite my Venus was most definitely bittersweet. I wish you were the planet of making wishes and dreams coming true instead of just wishes and dreams, which have high likelihood of failing to materialise. But then again, "making things come true" is so not you haha.

by Jim Eshelman on Wed Feb 15, 2017 12:45 am

Jim Eshelman wrote:Thanks for the beautiful, self-disclosing report.

I might add that, for many of the changes you mentioned, we probably have to take very seriously the fact that in the last two years you went from being 15 years old to being 17 years old

Regarding the unrequited part - while not a guarantee for Venus-Neptune combinations, it is nearly so. I buried this, in the standard transit interpretation, in the words "unreachable or unattainable love objects," or something like that. One of the first things I ever observed about Venus-Neptune that was not exactly in the books I'd been studying was this unrequited/unavailable characteristic. It takes many forms, applies vividly to Venus-Neptune transit combinations, and shows up in different life patterns of people with natal Venus-Neptune aspects.

For example, it's easy to find examples of this transit for someone having an affair with someone who is married, and therefore in the "unavailable" category. This was more obvious in decades where social-sexual boundaries were more rigid, so I think we also have side issues if scandal, sneaking and deception, "the great drama," etc., but the simple observation is "falling hopelessly in love with someone who is married," etc.

It also shows in cases of religious devotion, both in cases (as with a priest) where one's whole devotion is to Christ, Ishvara, or whatever, and with mystical attainment states where "union with the unattainable" is the occasional climax to the more common unending and passionate desire for intimacy with God,

Of course, the main version, that can apply to everyone with the aspect without need of special events, is simply having such high ideals for a partner or for intimacy that nobody ever meets them. In that case, what one wants is pretty much unattainable (in the sense of "nobody is that perfect").

Etc.

by TheScales_BothWays on Wed Feb 15, 2017 1:23 am

Jim Eshelman wrote:Thanks for the beautiful, self-disclosing report.

You're welcome (and Thank You).
And BTW, I realised that somehow my report was only submitted three-quarters through.
I've just added the bottom conclusion. It's now complete.

Jim Eshelman wrote:I might add that, for many of the changes you mentioned, we probably have to take very seriously the fact that in the last two years you went from being 15 years
old to being 17 years old

Ah, very true. I've grown up hehe.

And thank you for explaining the "unrequited love" aspect of Venus-Neptune. It makes much sense.

I wonder why Tropicalists don't usually associate Venus-Neptune to unattainable love, and instead, most Tropicalists associate Venus in Tropical Virgo to it and to also having an exalted "perfectionistic" ideal for a lover that can never be found. I don't see anything in Sidereal Leo (nor Venus in Sidereal Leo either) that would allow this, unless one would consider Leo to be the exaltation of Neptune, which I'm not sure yet about adopting that consideration.

by Danica on Wed Feb 15, 2017 1:30 am

Danica wrote:Thank you for sharing your experience, Scales.
My t Neptune to r Venus is not over yet - am enjoying the last month or so of it.
Happy valentine's!

by TheScales_BothWays on Wed Feb 15, 2017 1:40 am

Danica wrote:Thank you for sharing your experience, Scales.
My t Neptune to r Venus is not over yet - am enjoying the last month or so of it.

I'm glad that you guys here are able to gain from my experiences.
As for your transit, enjoy while it lasts! Make the best use out of it!

Danica wrote:Happy valentine's!

Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Danica! (Even though it's already an hour and a half past midnight here.) <3 <3 <3

*Sends you imaginary bouquets of fresh, crimson roses, with boxes of the finest Swiss chocolates and lots of online hugs as well*

by Jim Eshelman on Wed Feb 15, 2017 1:46 am

Jim Eshelman wrote:

TheScales_BothWays wrote:I wonder why Tropicalists don't usually associate Venus-Neptune to unattainable love

Well, the best of them do cite something similar but not necessarily like that. They at least get the idealism, the fantasy, the "this isn't real!" kind of angle.

instead, most Tropicalists associate Venus in Tropical Virgo to it and to also having an exalted "perfectionistic" ideal for a lover that can never be found. I don't see anything in Sidereal Leo (nor Venus in Sidereal Leo either) that would allow this, unless one would consider Leo to be the exaltation of Neptune, which I'm not convinced yet about adopting that consideration.

There's a "perfectionism" about Leo - from pristine to prissy - that with Venus sometimes has a slight "don't get fingerprints on the polished brass" tendency. (They like the touch. They just don't want the brass tarnished.)

But you're right, it's not the first sign-placement you think of as a fantasy-living position. When all charts in the Gauquelin collection are tested that have the character trait "dreamer," Venus in Leo comes in statistically infrequent.

And one thing that might seem ideal-driven is that Venus in Leo usually needs to be outright adored by their partners. It's an arousal trigger for them. They can't imagine why they shouldn't be put on a pedestal.

So maybe Venus in Leo is much more of a realist in Venus matters since, after all, it's genuinely hard to find people who plan to spend the rest of their lives keeping you on a pedestal, well-dusted and adored.

by TheScales_BothWays on Wed Feb 15, 2017 2:38 am, with a minor update today, 10/05/2017

Jim Eshelman wrote:

TheScales_BothWays wrote:I wonder why Tropicalists don't usually associate Venus-Neptune to unattainable love

Well, the best of them do cite something similar but not necessarily like that. They at least get the idealism, the fantasy, the "this isn't real!" kind of angle.

Yes, same thing I notice.

Jim Eshelman wrote: There's a "perfectionism" about Leo - from pristine to prissy - that with Venus sometimes has a slight "don't get fingerprints on the polished brass" tendency. (They like the touch. They just don't want the brass tarnished.)

I have Venus in Leo, and I think I have a slight tendency of this (10/05/2017: Now I seem to agree more). I sure do like the touch, naturally as a Libra.

Jim Eshelman wrote:But you're right, it's not the first sign-placement you think of as a fantasy-living position. When all charts in the Gauquelin collection are tested that have the character trait "dreamer," Venus in Leo comes in statistically infrequent.

Aha!

Jim Eshelman wrote:And one thing that might seem ideal-driven is that Venus in Leo usually needs to be outright adored by their partners. It's an arousal trigger for them. They can't imagine why they shouldn't be put on a pedestal.

I can strongly relate to this as a Leo Venus, the need to be adored was certainly heightened during my Neptune-Venus transit and it was in me as a child. Putting me on a pedestal though seems a bit too much haha, typical touchy-feely lover-to-lover adoration is okay for me.

Jim Eshelman wrote:So maybe Venus in Leo is much more of a realist in Venus matters since, after all, it's genuinely hard to find people who plan to spend the rest of their lives keeping you on a pedestal, well-dusted and adored.

Indeed, I even know some other Leo Venus people I know who are like this. Even I am more of a realist in love at times, (10/05/2017: and more so now. I think Leo Venuses become more of realists once they know they can't really get exactly what they want in love but still need love anyway.)

by TheScales_BothWays on Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:41 pm

Add: BTW, most of the time when Neptune transited my Venus, it also transited my natal Pluto. This may (or may not) add more clarity in understanding my report, perhaps especially in the context of Venus-Pluto (or a concurrent blend of Venus and Pluto).

by Jim Eshelman on Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:48 pm

Jim Eshelman wrote:How well did my standard interpretation (in the Transits section) for Neptune to Pluto work out? This is one of those more obscure transits that it's hard to wrap language around, so I'm particularly curious how you feel this turned out for you.

by TheScales_BothWays on Wed Feb 22, 2017 12:18 am

I believe that this transit was very subtle and it played mostly within the context of my Neptune-to-Venus transit.
As with "thinking about things way differently than before", this could just be me changing my ways of thinking from a 15-year-old way to my current, perhaps slightly more mature, 17-year-old way. Of course, astrology has also made me think "astrologically" too, sometimes in a basic-psychological sense with the help of astrological symbolism.

Subtly I've become more liberal (or at least, more human-rights supportive), and more empathetic. I was also more introspective, sometimes thinking impersonally and thus correcting myself; this too happens in a very subtle but fairly frequent manner.

I remember mentioning that my Neptune-Venus transit made me be more of my Libra self; Neptune-to-Pluto may have had a role in this too.

It could be that without my Neptune-Venus transit, I would've felt this transit differently, and may feel it better (or may not [consciously] feel this at all, since there wouldn't be my Neptune-Venus transit to "link" my experiences to Neptune-Pluto).

I understand, Jim, why this transit could be hard to express by words. I'm having a hard time to express this transit myself as well. Clearly this transit is very passive.

ADD: I also was more sensitive to music at that time, listening to a song appropriate to my feelings really heightened them, though in a healthy way. I usually "release" those heightened through singing or through random "contemporary-ish" dance when I'm alone.
Not sure whether is this consistent with Neptune-Pluto symbolism or is it just my angular Neptune though.

Posted today, i.e. right now

Right now I'm getting the feeling that with the end of my Neptune-to-Pluto transit, came also the end of my introspectiveness.

The introspectiveness that (I believe) came with the transit did help me find flaws and shortcomings within my inner character. It also made me be more empathetic and I almost always used to put myself in others' shoes about most matters. This wasn't the case while I was overwhelmed with Neptune-Venus feelings though, of course.

Now (with the occurrence of my Uranus-to-Sun transit I suspect) I'm surprised that I am not as introspective and empathetic as I was before. It's not like I'm purposely inconsiderate or anything, but it's that I'm surprised that I don't put myself in someone's shoes when I don't understand them (but I could've easily understood them if I did) and that in my introspective moments of today I don't as often probe deep into myself finding the cause or factor of a flaw or shortcoming in myself. Sometimes it seems that I already "know" or just make assumptions when actually I may not know—a lot. I hope I'm not becoming selfish though...

TheScales_BothWays wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 10:21 am Right now I'm getting the feeling that with the end of my Neptune-to-Pluto transit, came also the end of my introspectiveness.

But that transit is long past, right? Your Pluto is 14°01' Scorpio, transiting Neptune is 19°12' Aquarius. I haven't reread above, so might be missing something, but... wasn't this years ago?

The big thing right now (as you mentioned later) is Uranus opposite your Sun, which is still within 0°44' right now

More to the point, if there is (for example) any sense of dullness or disappoint or self-criticism in this, I note that transiting Mercury right now is 0°02' from conjunct your natal Saturn.

Now (with the occurrence of my Uranus-to-Sun transit I suspect) I'm surprised that I am not as introspective and empathetic as I was before.

Perhaps not as introspective in the introverted, private sense, but I would expect it to give you disclosures about yourself.

PS - This seemed a fairly introspective post

Scales I think you're right. You went through that aspect from 13 to 17, it didn't just affect your thinking at the time, but affected how you view yourself as well. Now you're seeing a different side of yourself, and it surprises you. Most people are more sensitive and introspective as teenagers, and part of growing up is experiencing that, and then letting it go.
I think you'll find you actually become more empathetic as you mature, because teenagers filter everything through themselves - how they think, what they feel, their own opinions, ideas and experience. They have to, because that's all they have to go on. As people mature, they have experienced more, and can see themselves and their experiences filtering through other people. You went through X, now someone else is going through X, and although you've moved on to Y, you can see echos of your own experience. With your angular Neptune you are likely to see more echos than most of us.

Scales, being born with Venus conjunct Neptune (with Saturn distantly in the mix AND Uranus square Venus) I can relate to a lot of your romantic unattainability as life-long issues.

As an aside, I have noticed that when that natal conjunction is angular in a return chart, a lot depends on which one is closer. If Venus is even marginally closer to the angle, it's a very good social experience. If it's Neptune, it's romantically devastating. That's not what I would have expected, but it seems to confirm that my recorded birth time is extremely accurate.

First of all, thank you all for your warm, supportive replies...

Jim Eshelman wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 11:00 am But that transit is long past, right? Your Pluto is 14°01' Scorpio, transiting Neptune is 19°12' Aquarius. I haven't reread above, so might be missing something, but... wasn't this years ago?

No, Jim, this transit just recently ended! Neptune came out of orb from 14°01' Aquarius just last 11th of January where it was at 15°01' Aquarius—that is, after a long time being in partile orb from my Pluto since the 27th of September 2016.
IIRC, Neptune can move to about 5 degrees from Stationary Direct until its next retrograde, and then retrogrades back about 3 degrees, and then it moves forward 5 degrees again...

Jim Eshelman wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 11:00 am The big thing right now (as you mentioned later) is Uranus opposite your Sun, which is still within 0°44' right now

Jim Eshelman wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 11:00 am

Now (with the occurrence of my Uranus-to-Sun transit I suspect) I'm surprised that I am not as introspective and empathetic as I was before.

Perhaps not as introspective in the introverted, private sense, but I would expect it to give you disclosures about yourself.

Right! Makes sense! I'm expecting more things to come from this transit though since nothing much very significant has happened yet...

Jim Eshelman wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 11:00 am More to the point, if there is (for example) any sense of dullness or disappoint or self-criticism in this, I note that transiting Mercury right now is 0°02' from conjunct your natal Saturn.

No wonder the whole of yesterday and parts of Sunday were just bad and dull!

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Jupiter Sets at Dawn wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 11:33 am You went through that aspect from 13 to 17...

15 to 17 actually, but I think you just made a typo.

Thank you for your very insightful and meaningful post JSAD. It's some of the many great words coming from you.

Jupiter Sets at Dawn wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 11:33 am You went through X, now someone else is going through X, and although you've moved on to Y, you can see echos of your own experience. With your angular Neptune you are likely to see more echos than most of us.

I really do relate to this. And yes angular Neptune does make me seem to hear more echoes, or at least react stronger to them. I really don't know how I'm going to react if I somehow find out that another naive teenager is going to go through a Neptune-Venus transit with the transit being on his or her SSR angles.

Also, I notice that you've been "promoted" to become the board administrator! Congratulations! You'll do a great job being one.

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DDonovanKinsolving wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 11:52 am Scales, being born with Venus conjunct Neptune (with Saturn distantly in the mix AND Uranus square Venus) I can relate to a lot of your romantic unattainability as life-long issues.

Dear Donovan, knowing how terrible Neptune-Venus can get (plus I'm also a Libra like you) I must say that I'm sorry for whatever disappointments and disillusionments you have faced throughout your romantic life and that I strongly empathise with you.
But of course, with Neptune-Venus, there are also times of pleasurable highs...

DDonovanKinsolving wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 11:52 am As an aside, I have noticed that when that natal conjunction is angular in a return chart, a lot depends on which one is closer. If Venus is even marginally closer to the angle, it's a very good social experience. If it's Neptune, it's romantically devastating. That's not what I would have expected, but it seems to confirm that my recorded birth time is extremely accurate.

Nice observation you have shared there, Donovan. I have some returns too with so many partile angular hits that it also seems to confirm that my birth time could be very very accurate.

Once again, thank you all for your inputs, all of them were very perceptive and useful.

TheScales_BothWays wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 9:01 pm Also, I notice that you've been "promoted" to become the board administrator! Congratulations! You'll do a great job being one.

Just temporary while Jim is on the road. Basically I'm acting as the fly swatter against spammers.

P.S. One of the first things that happened to me when Uranus started to oppose my Sun was to liberate (Uranus) my self (Sun) from my interests and obsessions on my school crush, which I thought may only happen years later or when I fall for someone else. I was pleasantly surprised that I have finally cut all emotional ties that I had with him. Actually I didn't "cut" them, they all "came loose." It was a relieving, fairly pleasant moment when I realised that

I can now actually see some pretty major flaws in his appearance lol

Jupiter Sets at Dawn wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 9:21 pm Just temporary while Jim is on the road. Basically I'm acting as the fly swatter against spammers.

Haha.