ChangeMaker0806 wrote: Fri Apr 29, 2022 8:35 pm
I feel stuck, repeating patterns and feeling lost and like I will never be happy. Mostly related to career and friendships. I go into everything in my life super excited then after the nostalgia runs out I find myself no longer interested. It causes me a lot of stress and I am curious if there is anything you see in my chart that could possibly shed some light in what I need to do or should be doing to break this pattern? I just don’t think I understand myself then I just want to avoid everyone and retreat.
Reading your question, looking over your natal chart and current patterns, and considering your exact age... It sounds to me like you're bored.
Sure, you've had an extra push toward "short-lived enthusiasms" as progressed Mars has opposed your natal Uranus-Neptune the last few years, but - even ignoring that, and looking at a combination of your native temperament and the fact that you're 27 years old, a few things seem clear.
First, you are at once of the junctures everybody passes through, the last two years of the onramp to your Saturn return. (Saturn completes one entire loop of the zodiac since your birth by spring 2024.) Several things can be expected from this. It's a maturing cycle, the real mark of entry into adulthood, when many people get the first real clarity on their place in the world and what they want to do with their lives. More or less everybody makes important life-direction choices. You get a little bit of a "report card" on your life, feeling a certainty of your competence in things you've done well, getting acknowledged by the world for those things, and at the same time getting some nudges or pushes (and an occasional slap) for things you haven't done so well.
Saturn means restrictions in the sense of definitions. Back in the 18-to-21-year-old stage, you made some initial decisions about entering adulthood, set some (likely unconscious) rules for yourself, probably created a life where you had the room to move and grow that you needed at that exact stage - but you've now outgrown those definitions and boundaries and structures. What once felt more spacious now feels too tight and restricting and narrow.
People tend to make initial decisions in the 18-to-21 period that they then reverse in the onramp to 30. In particular, some people pick a safe, protected, sure-seeming, follow-the-rules approach as then enter their 20s, while others take an adventurous, risk-taking, "open road" approach. Whichever path one picks, one tends to reverse it at 30: those who followed the rules and played it safe needing adventure and exploration, while those who took more risks and played it looser thinking it's time to settle down and pay attention to practical matters. - You created whatever life for your 20s that you picked, and I bet now it doesn't feel like enough. Think it through and see what patterns you can identify.
Most people feel restless, dissatisfied, and "this isn't really enough" in the two or three years approaching the Saturn return. You're right on schedule
Along with this, you are a Leo, a solar person. Strong solar energies carry an innate sense that you have something to do with your life, that you
are a distinctive, particular person perhaps with a destiny you have to grab. During the first part of a solar person's life, this sense of direction and identity is especially a quest, a journey of seeking, a wandering whatever road you pick feeling curious and looking for answers to who the F you are. For most solar types, these answers, too, start to gel around the Saturn return, giving a new understanding for entering the 30s.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, your strong Pisces Moon closely square Neptune and (even closer) Uranus suggests that you are easily bored. That is, you want life to be wondrous, fascinating, always bringing you new things and showing you delightful surprises. This is normal for you and there is no reason you shouldn't have that kind of life. With maturing comes a bit more practical attitude only in the sense of knowing you have to fit that in with other (practical, routine, maybe dull) choices you make, but this is no reason to deny yourself a fascinating, enchanting life.
You can get this in several ways. They probably all start with understanding that this is natural to you - to enjoy the novelty and enchantment of something and then move on; and also understanding that you don't need to confuse this with, for example, what you do for a living. You probably need to actively
feed this Pisces + Uranus-Neptune side. Otherwise, you'll probably be bored, this boredom will cost you psychological energy and you may become depressed, and in any case you'll be dissatisfied and unhappy.
You'll probably be dissatisfied for the next couple of years anyway, because the objective truth is: You are correct that, at this moment, your life isn't all that it could and will be, that it's smaller and narrower than you want your world to be. You'll get there. Ironically, this "brooding and hatching" doesn't have to interfere with you having a more fascinating life.
You can, of course, find your own ways to do it. You may find this fascination in a relationship or some other activity. One approach many people find easy is to always take one or two classes at a local community college, perhaps as part of a night program. This need have nothing to do with a career direction (but might eventually), just something fun and fascinating and offbeat. Taking a class or two (which will end after a semester) is a form of diving into something interesting that you know will be over at the end of the class. It's not for direction, it's for fun - and to keep your mind and senses churning.
You'll probably also make some new friends along the way.
Mostly, understand that your life is a
process that is unfolding a particularly important and interesting "plot point" right now.
