Solunars by Aldebaran Sidereal Academy

I've always had a problem with this. It's gotten better the last several years, but I feel like it's still lacking. Taking initiative. I got kind of in trouble at work over it. I'm just wondering what astrological symbolism reflects my feelings of dependency. Is it having Mars in Scorpion (similar to Mars conjunct Pluto)? Is it my Venus/Jupiter square? Is it my moon in Sagittarius?

It's a great question. One wouldn't normally expect a Leo-Sagittarius with Sun square a precise Mars-Uranus conjunction to have trouble taking initiative. It's worth digging into.

First, though, can you say more about what you mean by this? (Unless it's very straightforward.) Are there particular situations or contexts or conditions in which this is especially true? Places were you are expected to take initiative and you don't?

PS - Mars in Scorpio would not be like Mars-Pluto. It's like Mars-Mars!

I guess, it's more of requiring assistance to do certain things and not having enough confidence to function without a preceptor. I mean, I'm definitely better when I started out, but I feel like I'm still having problems taking the reigns to provide patient coordination. I have a problem with being too task-oriented instead of attempting to think critically. This isn't a new problem for me. I feel like I have had problems being dependent in the past and acting like a spoiled child in everything I do......or at least, I've been accused of that.

While waiting for clarification from you, I'm taking the chance to look up a few things...

I'd normally expect initiative from you. This is a solar-martial trait, and you nave Sun in Leo and Mars (unleashed by a conjunction with Uranus) in Scorpio. Mars and Uranus are also foreground, stronger than any planet except your Mercury. Even the Sagittarius Moon with a Leo Sun means two imperial luminary signs that want to have the lead.

But my mind keeps going back to that Sagittarius Moon. I can't yet say what about it exactly might give the traits you mention, but here are some thoughts. First, it's a Spoke, which can be more deferential to others' leadership (though you have a Leo Sun which goes the other way). Second, it's very polite and mannered, so I wonder if you're too damn nice! Third, Sagittarius Moon has such a high standard of things (including expectations they put on themselves) that it can be self-doubting and, therefore, a kind of timid.

You have a 3°mundane Moon-Venus square. One side of this aspect is timid. I'd not think it would outrank your Leo and Scorpio etc. - the masculine, assertive, driving planets (your Sun-Mars square) are more prominently placed than your feminine Moon-Venus square. And, of course, your Venus-Jupiter square is inclined to "be nice."

Venus_Daily wrote: Thu Jan 06, 2022 4:39 pm I guess, it's more of requiring assistance to do certain things and not having enough confidence to function without a preceptor.

This sounds like Moon in Sagittarius being judgmental about oneself. Often this gets amplified if we were shamed or embarrassed or made to feel small in the past: Sagittarius wants only the best and to BE the best, so any left-over shame or embarrassment can have a stronger effect.

So it sounds like the issue isn't initiative so much as independence or autonomy.

Ihave a problem with being too task-oriented instead of attempting to think critically.

Do you mean you tend to "follow the rules" or "do things the way one is SUPPOSED [so-called] to do them"? That's the Sag Moon.

As you talk about it, I get the impression that you're afraid to fail. Learning to "fail well" is a skill one must develop: We get better from failing and, at least in some professional environments, can grow stronger by looking for one's failures and diving into them. But that goes against most people's training growing up.

Does any of this sound right?

Thanks Jim, as for clarification. When I was younger, I was quite rebelious, but still a bit sheltered and dependent. I was always the funny person and constantly got in trouble for not caring about dispensing verbal lashings to other students and authority figures. The bigger problem I faced was that I was a sick child and my mother tried to do everything for me except basic stuff like dressing and feeding. When I went through puberty, I don't know why, but my personality changed. I became extremely docile and polite, I began actually enjoying being nice to people and helpful, more nurturing. I began to hate conflict and assertiveness because I felt no matter what I did, it would always snowball into somehow always being my fault. That could just be due to the mundane Moon/Venus and Jupiter/Venus making me an easy target.

I guess my problem at work is, I'm unprepared due to how COVID has affected nursing schools and second, management is really concerned with the bottom line. They expect me to know everything and be off orientation on their time schedule. With that being said, I'm not that confident in my skills or abilities and having this personality characteristic of being more dependent and overly apologetic conflicts with everything they want. I've always been an overly sensitive person, probably due to my mundane Moon/Venus square. I've always been able to detect people's moods, facial expressions, and body language before they can, and that further leads me to feel helpless because my preceptor is just a total bitch, and thanks to COVID, there's no one else who can precept me.

Jim Eshelman wrote: Thu Jan 06, 2022 4:48 pm

Venus_Daily wrote: Thu Jan 06, 2022 4:39 pm I guess, it's more of requiring assistance to do certain things and not having enough confidence to function without a preceptor.

This sounds like Moon in Sagittarius being judgmental about oneself. Often this gets amplified if we were shamed or embarrassed or made to feel small in the past: Sagittarius wants only the best and to BE the best, so any left-over shame or embarrassment can have a stronger effect.

So it sounds like the issue isn't initiative so much as independence or autonomy.

Ihave a problem with being too task-oriented instead of attempting to think critically.

Do you mean you tend to "follow the rules" or "do things the way one is SUPPOSED [so-called] to do them"? That's the Sag Moon.

As you talk about it, I get the impression that you're afraid to fail. Learning to "fail well" is a skill one must develop: We get better from failing and, at least in some professional environments, can grow stronger by looking for one's failures and diving into them. But that goes against most people's training growing up.

Does any of this sound right?

Yes, Jim, I am afraid to fail and hurt someone.


I was looking over the description for Moon/Venus, and it also describes me well, but the thing I most resonate with is concerned about being liked. It's kind of pathological for me, and it also describes the current situation I'm in.

If you think (your words, not mine) that you're problematically concerned with being liked, that means that you were (at some point in time, probably when you were young) put in a threatening situation because (you felt) you were disliked.

Whatever happened around puberty (it probably wasn't puberty itself, but something that happened about the same time), it sounds like you were shut down from expressing your real nature. Your chart is dynamic, brazen, its worst traits probably being dominating and more concerned about your own wishes in the moment than other people. (Not that you have to lean that far over the edge, but I'm making a point about your basic nature: You're inherently bold, yet gracious and likeable enough to usually get away with it.)

Something happened that made your best decision at the time shutting yourself down and "behaving." You do seem (from your description) to be like a puppy that was whipped one time too many (sorry if that's too graphic; I think you can get the point of it, though). In the quarter century since, you've practiced and drilled to "behave" and "be nice."

Now, there's nothing wrong with being nice - being liked - having people think positive things about you. On the other hand, there is a bold, sometimes reckless "bad girl" at your core that wants her life back. My suggestion - since this kind of personality flip-around is hard and creates anxiety - is to find one or two areas in your life where you can safely yet consistently be the wild thing you were as a child, and that you were on course to grow up to be.

Just a couple of areas, a couple of places, perhaps with a couple of specific people. Be one way with them and the other way (for now) in the rest of your life.

And BTW, you're in a tough, responsible field in a really tough time - you're literally one of the people the world depends on most right now doing some of the physically and emotionally hardest work there is. Give yourself credit - on your worst day and especially on your best day - for tackling this, being there, and being conscientious.

One member of this forum lives in a care facility and depends for much of his comfort and well-being on people in your profession. I bet if you reach out to him, he'll be happy to talk with you and give some honest impressions from the other side.

Venus Daily, I am the member Jim referenced. Formerly a patient in skilled nursing now a resident in Assisted Living. Past president of the Resident's Council at Calimesa Post Acute Skilled Nursing in Yucaipa, CA. Also many times hospitalized and undergoing dialysis three day weekly. Writing Sidereal Astrology software from my bed (TMSA). If there is anything I can give a patient's eye view of, please feel free to PM me.

mikestar13 wrote: Thu Jan 06, 2022 6:41 pm Venus Daily, I am the member Jim referenced. Formerly a patient in skilled nursing now a resident in Assisted Living. Past president of the Resident's Council at Calimesa Post Acute Skilled Nursing in Yucaipa, CA. Also many times hospitalized and undergoing dialysis three day weekly. Writing Sidereal Astrology software from my bed (TMSA). If there is anything I can give a patient's eye view of, please feel free to PM me.

Thank You, Mike! I am so sorry to hear about your current troubles. I too know what it's like to be on the other side. In 1994, I almost died of Toxic Shock Syndrome after having my adenoids removed and in 2011, I had my pituitary removed and had to undergo radiation. I will definitely message you when I have questions. Thanks a million.

Jim Eshelman wrote: Thu Jan 06, 2022 4:43 pm While waiting for clarification from you, I'm taking the chance to look up a few things...

I'd normally expect initiative from you. This is a solar-martial trait, and you nave Sun in Leo and Mars (unleashed by a conjunction with Uranus) in Scorpio. Mars and Uranus are also foreground, stronger than any planet except your Mercury. Even the Sagittarius Moon with a Leo Sun means two imperial luminary signs that want to have the lead.

But my mind keeps going back to that Sagittarius Moon. I can't yet say what about it exactly might give the traits you mention, but here are some thoughts. First, it's a Spoke, which can be more deferential to others' leadership (though you have a Leo Sun which goes the other way). Second, it's very polite and mannered, so I wonder if you're too damn nice! Third, Sagittarius Moon has such a high standard of things (including expectations they put on themselves) that it can be self-doubting and, therefore, a kind of timid.

You have a 3°mundane Moon-Venus square. One side of this aspect is timid. I'd not think it would outrank your Leo and Scorpio etc. - the masculine, assertive, driving planets (your Sun-Mars square) are more prominently placed than your feminine Moon-Venus square. And, of course, your Venus-Jupiter square is inclined to "be nice."

Jim, I was wondering, could that mundane Moon/Venus square explain why I am intrinsically drawn to feminity as a spiritual and intimate experience?

Yes!