Jim Eshelman wrote: Tue Jul 11, 2023 7:27 am
Your chart does suggest some challenges in the area of romance. That means it's going to be mostly a matter of timing, though you can take an active hand in it. You have a couple of chart factors that routinely show as
difficulty in love. This doesn't mean love problems are
fated, though - it's a matter of understanding your character and making choices.
Which means, your way of thinking about this is mostly all correct - not
exactly correct on the astrology side, but entirely correct in terms of taking charge of this, since you already are thinking in terms of timing, character, and choices.
So, regarding the astrology...
The strongest indication is your
Venus-Saturn conjunction. This is often interpreted "trouble in love," though (again) this isn't a
fated matter. Second, your Sun and Moon are both in Capricorn, which has a particular caution in romance. (I'll go into detail on Venus-Saturn and Capricorn in a minute.) Third, you have a strong Sun-Moon conjunction which is neutral-to-excellent on finding a mate (your outer world mirroring your inner world where the solar and lunar parts of your being are already in balanced union).
There are lesser factors, too. For example, in addition to the Capricorn luminaries you have Neptune background and not particularly connected to the rest of the chart (except Mercury), so you are more of a practical realist than a romantic - you are not the kind of person who adores getting lost submerged into someone else who is enchanting you. This is neither for or against long-term relationships, though it does say something about how you tend to be in relationship - how you come across, what choices you make, etc.
Finally, living in NOLO you have Venus exactly angular. I suspect that love means more to you living here than when you are in other places, and your long-term chances are probably a lot better than in less Venussy places. This does, of course, bring your Venus-Saturn more to the fore (one notices disappointment in love more when one wants it more, right?). Since your stated goal is long-term commitment (marriage), that makes Saturn more your friend since it ties your love needs (Venus) to perseverance and longevity.
Saturn tends to be hard on the young and benefactor of the mature.
So, let's dive into Venus-Saturn and your Capricorn luminaries. Both of these are strong Saturn themes. Fundamentally, Saturn represents the
survival instincts. Tied to your Venus, it means that your love nature is naturally wrapped up with the survival instinct - caution and self-preservation reflexes not being too far away. With your luminaries in Capricorn, it means that the survival or self-preservation instincts are quite strong in your character.
Let me describe what I think are the patterns usually seen in each of these. This will suggest practical steps.
Venus-Saturn has a really bad reputation in romance, and then gets praise for dedication and devotion. You probably instinctively think of love as work - both a strength (you are willing to put the work into a relationship) and a weakness (others, more focused on fun, may think it takes too much work). This has all sorts of forms, such as work and duty giving pleasure, delaying ordinary pleasure for responsibilities, or caretaking. Usually there is a father aspect - certainly the parents' relationship, and particularly one's experience of one's father (and father figures), strongly influences one's feelings and decisions about men as an adult.
There is more - but perhaps the simplest thing to say is that the paternal history is really important and that caution, protection, survival, duty, devotion, and certainty become increasingly important in love matters as one matures. I suspect what you called unhealthy aspects of past relationships somehow reflects your parents' relationship (as you experienced it).
Luminaries in Capricorn extends some of these traits. The most common form I see is that Capricorns are cautious in committing to relationships: They test people, perhaps because there is an expectation that someone ultimately will let them down or betray them. It's the safety and security thing: Caps seem, to me, to pick a partner the way they'd buy a car, kicking the tires and seeing how hard they can push it. The goal
seems to be to give someone every possible chance and reason to leave them (and perhaps then feel vindicated that they were right - the person didn't pass the test). Then, if the person DOES pass the test, Capricorn grabs on hard and doesn't let go.
Does any of this sound familiar or seem to fit?
You may give off an aloof air. I'm not sure. Capricorn can be a lot of fun (don't short-change the idea of fun and the sign of the satyr) and you may seem pulled back. (I don't know for sure since I don't know you - I'm just going by what I see in perhaps 80% of Capricorns.) Capricorn seems to others ready for fun and not necessarily available for commitment (even when commitment is what they really want). Several women have told me they'd rather they'd rather have an affair with a Capricorn man than marry one because they're entirely good for fun and don't seem to offer the warmth and depth they would want in a husband. Even your Venus in Sagittarius (Venus in any of the Imperial or 'fire' signs) often has as distant air, does not always communicate their emotional availability very well.
This doesn't mean you aren't warm or don't want closeness. It might mean (if you are like the majority of people with Venus-Saturn aspects or Capricorn luminaries) that
people see you this way.
Does that match feedback you've gotten or how you've seen others react to you?
Capricorn can be utterly charming, entertaining, wonderful to be around btw. The Moon here especially can be playful and mischievous.
Again, with Capricorn Sun, the impact of father is usually quite strong. With Capricorn Moon, both father and mother have strong impact on forming adult relationship patterns.
Sun conjunct Moon is one of your best aspects and, for the present topic, goes along with "ell-formed intimate partnerships."
BTW, you made a good choice in that Cancer Moon. (It sounds like you enjoyed him and it
almost worked.) Both your Capricorn Sun and Moon are going to (on average) relate exceptionally well to Capricorn and Cancer Moons. I notice you said that YOU cut off the relationship because he didn't meet what you wanted - without knowing the details, I suspect this was a version of someone not passing a Capricorn's test. (BTW, adjacent Sun signs, like Aquarius and Capricorn, often are hard unless strong aspects overcome the weakness because the people never exactly "see" each other. I'm curious what you especially like about Aquarians. They aren't necessarily good spouse material, tend to be impersonal even though they can be terribly fascinating.)
Finally, since some recent relationships have been closer to "right" than in the past, you do seem to be moving in the right direction. I think you and Steve are both right that upcoming charts set you up for better results. Go for the solar return, etc., keep enjoying life, and see where it takes you. You aren't cursed to never have love - if anything, you are more wired to find permanent partnership later in life. (You don't want kids, so time isn't your enemy here.) As I write this last paragraph, the line that keeps going through my mind is that you may have to stop looking in order to find what you want. Maybe that's so; and I don't think, in the meantime, you should withdraw or stop having fun.
Please lets us know how it goes...