Solunars by Aldebaran Sidereal Academy

Better late then never.....

My SSR for this year occurred at home, in the middle of the night while I was sleeping peacefully. I had taken Sunday off from work and the following Monday was President's Day. Sunday was a beautiful day spent hiking, working on an art project, singing and dancing to my favorite songs an enjoying my day off before resuming working every day of the week for the next 6 weeks.

I have some strong natal planets on angle this year, and was pleased at the direction. This years chart might have been one to relocate, and as I get older I see how what my Mars needed as a youth has changed in subtle but discernible ways. I may decide to try dating this year, I am thinking about it, and thinking about why it is that this year I am even considering it when I've had no interest for so long. What would be my motivation, my need, and is dating/meeting new people the best way for me to truly fulfill that need or is my need fulfilled in a healthier way by say joing a hiking club, or the roller derby league, or the belly dance club. As of now I am more inclined to join the belly dance club, which is a red flag to me that I am pretty aggressively avoiding intimacy and the reason why is most likely what I should be aggressively wrestling with.
As an aside event I received a phone call from my dad on my birthdate that ended with him pretty abruptly hanging up on me with a growling I love you, if you need anything come over. Click. I was still trying to talk and have a pleasant conversation, but it was apparent he only wanted total submission, apologizes, sympathy and his maid, and when he heard me sticking to my own path and my own responsibilities first.....that's when he growled. Anywho....

When I first looked at my SSR for this year back in the fall I was thrilled with the pretty setting moon. Odd that I have that again next year too.

Two weeks ago I caught a sniffle that turned into a cold that turned into an infection that turned into a break out viral explosion in my sinuses and nostrils. On the mend, but it took time to get this sick and it's going to take time to heal...bit by bit feeling better and stronger everyday. I have not been this struck with a virus for so so long and I suppose working in a nursery I was bound to catch something. It actually made me feel like a normal human being in some ways.

I have some goals for myself that I'm hoping to catch a good wave for, and I'm looking forward to some well earned time off in July, I just hope it wont be a hot humid sticky sweaty mess here in NY but I will roll with what ever weather we have.

for three nights, when I first was starting to feel sick, I dreamed of encountering a person I recognized from when I was very young. A person from my local town where I grew up who I have had progressively limited exposure to over the course of my life. He was in my preschool class through, which is where I had long periods of close proximity for months and months.

It was during this time that I recall really being stricken by wave after wave of severe illness, puking, gunky, puss, mucus, sores, bleeding, bruising, swelling, hot, sticky yuckinesses of a million varieties.

After musing about the source of my psyches choice in animus projection, and eliminating source after source I admitted that while I couldnt explain why I felt so, I admitted that it actually felt liked I smelled him, that he had been close by! (cut to scene of mild freak out checking all the windows). As ridiculous as it sounds my mind admitted that it had smelled a smell that reminded me of what I thought that boy smelled like, a smell I had some how in my memory linked to smelling with his presence.

How freaking outrageous. My mind flew to rage for a moment to the phemerone retail market,but flew back with a weird curiosity.

As I've been musing over this while recuperating from illness, I had been made acutely aware of each distinct symptom and aspect of the disease, a very obvious biochemical chain reaction had gone on as the virus grew inside me, contained within me and reacting to different cells.....a very odd taste made it evident that the signature of the virus elicits a specific response in my biochemical body resulting in me experiencing certain specific sensory experiences, specifically how things tasted to me and how things smelled. This virus has a quiet subtle but distinct smell that when I smelled it upon me I knew I was sick.

When I was sleeping it would seem that possibly my mind recognized this odor in me, an odor its known its whole life really, and upon recognizing it it attempted to find meaning to it and went back through all my memories to when I was the sickest ever with it and told me I there was sickness without just saying, you are sick.

My son gave me a rose bush for Mothers day last year. It's has a beautiful strong cane and should be planted prominently in just right for Rose's soil so it can thrive. I didnt plant it though, I've kept it in its pot and over wintered it in the cellar.
I didnt want to plant it here, I'm only renting and I couldnt bear the thought of what would become of it when I move.
It hibernated very well, I have a very scary old stone basement that is actually conducive to plant wintering, dirt floor and all.
A few weeks ago the plant started growing so I brought it out of the cellar and put it in the light with the houseplants.
It has a beautiful bud allready and will be unfolding strongly in the next few days.
It is some sort of genetic perigee science experiment of a rose bush. When my son gave it to me it had a dozen or so big white blossoms that developed a tinge of pink on the tips of the petals and proceeded to color the entire flower over the course of its blooming so that there was no hint of the white by the end of the flowers life. I took a gazillion photos of each one every day because they were just screaming at me "look at how pretty I am". Little White Lies copyrighted patented and incorporated is the name of the rose.

Today is my lunar return.
Mars is moving along quite as expected, I think I only have three viruses left to catch and then I'll be all caught up on all that. I am planning on working on the Mars Meditation tonight, thanks Jim for keeping them going I am finding them very worthwhile.
I am looking forward to a very strong week next week, picking up some odd shifts at both jobs to help out with things, that may continue throughout the month as a few coworkers have asked about my availability mid April.
Watching a swarm of 4 year old for the entire afternoon has me digging deep into my Mary Poppins bag for sure. It's been a long time since my children wanted to sit in my lap, and it's so nice a feeling to be trusted by a strange child who hates school and wants mommy and just needs a lap for a few minutes after that playmate bonked them with a dinosaur.
I sympathize with children, which I dont think culturally is something we as humans have ever done well in our past.
Today is Good Friday and I tend to get really emotional thinking about and feeling about the events of this day. It feels so deeply personal to me in some ways. It's a bright cheery day right now though cold, but spring is really flowing with lots if birds allready back, and a strange ponponderous of red flying squirrels this year.

Have a great Good Friday V. Spring is a wondrous magical sight for us with nature. I love all the wild flowers blooming in my year and I have no idea where they came/come from. The birds singing share their happiness with us.

Today is the eclipse. I have been hesitant about getting excited about this. Weather can be such a fickle thing, and upstate NY has had days were you experience the extremes of all four seasons in one day. The cold has hung deep and long this year with a dampness our precipitation doesnt seem to warrant, but is present none the less.
There are lots of light clouds around my area now, but the angle of the sun seems to have an advantage and the sky seems brighter then it should be given the clouds. Almost as if charged or ionized, the air seems clear and crisp and clean.
So I'm going to go with the positive and believe we wont get rained out and that there will be at least a fair display of this heavenly union later this afternoon.
Years ago when I first learned of this day I thought of the perfect spot in the park to get the grandest, largest view of the entire sky. There are many great places not far from my home. Yet as this day approached and the country got caught up in the hoopla and commercialized and materialized the event I decided I wanted, needed to be elsewhere.

This past lunar return had me still feeling run down from being so sick for so long, with a week of severe lower back pain that really wanted me to be grouchy. Thankfully tides change and I have a very nice demi lunar approaching with Pluto angular, which is actually very comforting for me and should allow me the time I need to do a very deep and thorough Spring cleaning. Being so sick I had to put some seasonal work on the back burner and allow myself to be sick and heal. I like cleaning and taking care of my home and my "things". my self esteem deteriorates when dust settles so to speak.

I have been told I will be undertaking the enormous task of "what is really in the rare book room compared to a dot matrix print out from the 1900's" I am honored that the Universe conspired to have me help with this and am excited to use my skills and training to good work. I had reservations about the work I do, and realize that logistics say not many people in the world can work in a library, it's a niche field in a way, and sometimes when I get sad I think to myself that I could go anywhere in the world and their will always be a place I could help out and do a great job, even if I didnt speak the native language libraries talk in numbers and letters and symbols. It will be nice to have a project at work to do, I hate just sitting around making up busy work for the students. I see this work highly symbolic in my SSR,. my co workers energy towards me has shifted from straight up resentment and threat to a more subdued competitive aspect of chessmanship game playing, which I am either ignoring or documenting depending.
As I wrote this there has been a steady influx of vehicles into the park. I'm about to leave before I get blocked in.
Have a wonderful day!

Wow. What a weird feeling. We were very cloudy for the eclipse which was strikingly beautiful to see and experience. The kids and I ended up back home for the spectacular display and enjoyed the event together. I told them that we have to meet up right back here the next time this area has an eclipse so we can make it a family tradition. They said they would and I believe them.

Happy Eclipse Day V.

Thanks Steve! It was a happy day. Happy Day to you too!

noting transiting Mars to my progressed Venus today...

I've never spent to much looking at my progressed chart, mostly because I dont feel I have a goog groking of just what is my progressed showing me....
I always sort of thought that my natal chart was the seed of what I am and as I live and grow day to day my progressed chart would show the actual patterns of unfolding maturity, growth and development...the way the seed grew. My progressed chart has a few active aspects with Mars and Uranus acutely conscious and a trine of malificific Mars and saturn engaged with neutral/positive Pluto. I feel this is an accurate description of what I am.

What I dont quite grok is what is the meaning of solar Arc progressions?
What part of me is it reflecting or showing in manifestation? It's basically the whole natal chart moved 1 degree, so it's like my natal chart, yet its environment has moved? I cant seem to think of anything in nature that resembles this.

For my birthday this year I tried cutting my hair a different way, silly me thinking a youtube video would help out my crazy wild hair. Anyhoo....as per my SSR I did a real butchering of things and have looked liked a goony googoo for 2 months now (cut to much to short to fix so just had to suck it up and let it grow out) but today I can finally tuck the damage behind my ears and look like a somewhat normal person again and not a googoo. I know it's stupid and trivial, our looks, but when of my 4d year olds said the other day "you might be pretty if you did something about your hair..." I recalled how Tropical astrology had ideas about when best to cut hair for different purposes....silliness.

Veronica wrote: Mon Apr 15, 2024 7:11 am What I dont quite grok is what is the meaning of solar Arc progressions?

In practice, they are similar to transits (but where everything moves along at the same pace, about 1° per year). I don 't think I have an articulation of what layer of us this represents. (May in a year and a half when I finish Volume 2 I'll have sorted that out.)

Jim Eshelman wrote: Mon Apr 15, 2024 7:25 am

Veronica wrote: Mon Apr 15, 2024 7:11 am What I dont quite grok is what is the meaning of solar Arc progressions?

In practice, they are similar to transits (but where everything moves along at the same pace, about 1° per year). I don 't think I have an articulation of what layer of us this represents. (May in a year and a half when I finish Volume 2 I'll have sorted that out.)

Thanks Jim, glad I'm not the only one fuzzy on that. I was musing about how it must be represented in nature some how, and thought I might have a better understanding of it if I thought of sound, notes, distortion, harmonics, resonance and how different areas/rooms/environments can make the same note/chord sound so much different.

I got some exciting news about 30 minutes ago that I wanted to share, especially since Saturn is making its first pass of my Mars shortly.
The great news is that I was finally able to check into my Social Security account! I had hoops to jump to get verified with them but after many failed and challenging times I got into my account and was able to see my entire lifetime earnings from jobs I worked that reported ( Those months shoveling chicken manure never got properly accounted and credited, but that ultimately was my fault for taking the job and continuing to work after after I found out it was considered a daily labor/cash under the table gig, but I felt pretty desperate trying to feed and care for my kids and was just grateful to have a source of income).
Since I was a stay at home mom for so many years I really didnt think I had near enough credits to add up and mean anything, but apparently I do!! Happy dance. So in 10 years I could actually receive some ( big to me) money!!
Wow! It's such a pleasant thought! I will probably work and work till Gramma calls me to Her loving arms, the world always needs hope and optimism and people rolling up thier sleeves to help out so I will do my best to keep my loving heart ticking.
I also filed my taxes this morning and to my surprise all the fees for filing were waived so I saved almost $150!! My returns should be deposited with in 21 days I was told.
My project at the library overseeing the self reading of the entire collection is drawing to an end this week, with over 7, 500 minutes logged in. The student workers really despised the whole project and had to be strong armed inti getting into the stacks and doing it, as much as gentle library people can actually strong arm I suppose, some of my peers refused to hound the students and my excel spread sheets reflect the most interesting data showing this. I will presenting the students with certificates of achievement to mark the achievement of this project and their roll in its success. I thought May the forth was a great day to celebrate its completion. It was very grueling for me in many ways, the numbers and spread sheets blurring my eyes rods and cones into mysterious hallucinations of libers, tomes, and ephemera.
So Yea yea yea today!!

Last week I was reading a shocking new book by best selling fiction writerJames Patterson....The Secret Lives of Booksellers and Librarians: Their Stories are Better Than the Bestsellers...

I have never read any of his books,but I do recommend them to children and adults who like fiction. This book is not a fiction book, but a collection of books about people who work around books. I enjoyed reading about others who seem to have a similar love of books, people who I feel I resonate with in my joy of sharing great books with others. Alas though I was disappointed each chapter with the bios of people who love fiction, and none of the people were like me in that they read non fiction almost exclusively. I rarely read fiction, or what is considered fictional literature, so I felt like writing him a letter and introducing myself and saying how I felt this book did not actually represent everyone and that the real secrets are with those who fumble through a textbook on line curvature or a manual on making fly fishing lures or an factually outdated book on the machine of the mind writing by some obscure lady in the 1920s.
I sometimes get fired up and really feel a need to say something, and I have written many letters to writers, and artists in my life, most very kind loving letters of appreciation and a feel of connection. I often think of my friend Patricia who wrote back on the most bad arse stationary embossed with Lizards and real ink, engaging with me for years before she passed.

Us non fiction readers are easy to overlook I suppose, perhaps to busy in our work.

I stopped reading the book and returned it though, not finishing it, not reading the 50 or so more bios of other readers. I was sitting in the cafeteria at school eating my lunch reading about a very successful woman who decided she wanted to open a bookstore. She asked her husband to help. He was an extremely successful lawyer and she was asking him to give up his legal career. His response made me shut the book. He said yes, he said people are happy to go to a bookstore, they walk in and are happy. People who come to a lawyer are not happy people. They are in some sort of predicament and need help, advice, security.
I think the same can be said for a few other careers, and I also think it can be said about astrology. When your life is peaches and cream you never stop to wonder what's going in your horoscope. It seems like People never wander in to Solunars saying Hi my life is just a dream come true why am I so lucky, beautiful, successful, healthy and happy.

One of the things said about Aquarius is friend. It's a keyword and I have often struggled with just what the heckers that really means. From looking through my life at the people I call friends I saw that for me, the people in my childhood who I formed close bonds with were mostly neighborhood kids who had very challenging homes and we bonded because we had that in common, we didnt like the synastry we had with family members and we saught to get away from that, to distance ourselves from our family and be around sympathetic companions who understood we did not want to go home.
So for me it seemed like friendship is a way to form bonds that filled a need that was not being met at home, a need for connection, communion, affection, love, respect, health and joy.

What I'm trying to say is, reading that sentence by that lawyer made me think of you Jim and how you so gracefully deal with unhappy people in your daily workings, people dont call IT to say thank you my window is opening great today. I wish they did, I wish they would call a lawyer and say great day thank you for protecting our constitution. I wish they would go to a bar and say, no I dont need a drink thank you I'm good, how's your day?

I'm such a character that I dont really need a lawyer, or a bartender or even an astrologer, I got this something something that assures me I will be ok, that no matter what monster I encounter I will be ok. I could never really articulate what that somthin somthin was until I read that sentence.

I miss writing you and telling you about your typos and my weird anecdotes. I miss sharing my poetry and exploring weird ideas. I dont know how or why it happened but I feel like we had a great friendship and I got into a point in my life where I did feel like I needed a lawyer and an astrologer and I overstepped our friendship and forgot a lot of my manners.

I come here everyday not because I need astrological advice or ideas or current transiting events but because my family is a chore to deal with and running away doesnt change that, but having understanding friends who will listen and say yup that's a bummer, ya know what happened to me the other day...it helps put life in perspective and makes things not as big and scary as they feel and recalibrates us.

Today the Sun is conjunct Uranus and I was like hmmmm I wonder why these past few days you've been really processing your relationships in your heart and mind Veronica. Sure enough I recalled where my node was and smiled.

Thank you for being my friend, I value you (all) tremendously and am grateful to have you in my life, you enrich me with your kindness and understanding.

Yesterday instead of working in the preschool I worked all morning till mid afternoon at the library. My coworker wanted some time off so I took the 7 to 3 shift.
It was so nice to be home midafternoon for a change. It has really warmed up here and the trees just about have full leaf cover now. It's always so amazing to see this environment go from dead brown everything everywhere to complete full lush greenage in so short a time.
As I like to do when it is finally warm enough, I took my shoes off to be barefoot and walked into the kitchen. Patrick had just been in the kitchen drinking and made a huge mess with his water all over the tiles.
I didnt know that at the time though and didnt see the wetness on the tile.

Yup, I slipped and skidded and curled my right foot. I heard a definite crunch pop snap kinda noise and felt my little ring toe scream in pain.
Not much to be done about breaking a little toe. It hurts terribly still but better today.

It happened around 4pm, and the transits at the time with Mars and Neptune caught my eye both being near the dec.

With my SSR so strong with Mars this year, I have felt a lot of aggression trying to be stirred up by external things like traffic, both the bird and the dog I live with, certain coworkers. I have been trying to self analyze my feelings when they arise, reflecting on what is bothering me and how am I possibly bothering others.

I thought about how I have seen people overreact and blow up when they are in pain, and I did want to scream it out, but that would have scared the dog and bird and they wouldn't understand what I was angry about. I really dont like it when other people are angry about something they did and they take it out on another. I try so hard not to displace my anger, so I shook an angry first at the water messy floor and myself for forgetting that Patrick is not Seneca, and he makes a mess drinking and that I have to wear house shoes even if I dont want to, because heaven forbid I slip and really mess myself up. I am grateful that I broke my toe because it could have been much much worse.

When I looked at my SSR with the transit and saw the angles I felt blessed that I didnt crack my head on the counter or my hip or something.

I was really starting to feel better and more like myself again too. My returns have been very challenging for me to stay happy through and not play with the monsters in the closets. My new lunar upcoming looks very kind though I am not looking forward to The beginnings of June as so many of my close kin all have passed then, and my dad just may die anytime, but I'll do my best.
Saturn will being moving forth and back and forth over my Mars for months so I was hoping to use that energy to break some bad habits I have in my expression of Mars and resolve some financial problems I have, and now I get to do that with a broken toe so yea yea yea! lol.

Ouch! Oh, that surely hurts. (I hope you got it tended to, taped in place so that it heals right, etc.)

One would think that Mars was already opposite your Uranus, but it wasn't quite there yet (-1°26'). There is the long drawn-out Neptune opposition to your Pluto (-29': slip and fall is just one of the Neptune things here; obviously it's too long of a transit to be just this event).

Oh, but there it is: Saturn was +27' from square your Mars. Easily the closest important aspect. (Notice that the Sa-Ma and Ne-Pl orbs average to about 0°00'.)

I'd guess some other charts brought Saturn-to-Mars, Neptune-to-stuff, and Mars-to-Uranus near angles.

Meanwhile: Ouch!

Oh, yeah, your Solar Return really set this up!

Your SSR has natal Mars 1°14' past Ascendant and natal Uranus 3°20' before MC. That's accident prone enough, but we then had transiting Saturn square that rising Mars (Saturn was within a degree of SSR Nadir) and transiting Mars opposite your Uranus (Mars was within a degree of SSR IC).

A solar return with natal Mars-Uranus on angles and transiting Mars-Saturn on the same angles (and on Mars-Uranus). Yup!

22°21' Sco - r Mars
22°48' Aqu - t Saturn [t Pluto 6°59' Cap]
23°28' Sco - SSR Asc

16°39' Vir - SSR MC
17°20' Pis - t Mars
18°47' Vir - r Uranus

[Notice that once this was set up by natal Ma + Ur on angles, the triggering transits are partile to the SSR angles themselves (orbs -40' and +41', averaging 0°00') more than to the natal planets (orbs +0°27' and -1°27', averaging 0°30').]

Then your current Demi-SLR has transiting Mars and Pluto closely angular (along with a moderate natal Venus 4° below Asc).

11°28' Pis - t Mars
12°00' Sag - SLR Asc

7°01' Cap - t Pluto
8°29' Lib - SLR MC

[That exactly angular t Mars was also 0°29' from mundane square to natal Moon, though natal Moon was deeply background. The prior SLR might be regarded as an setup for this, having indications of a high-impact event and such things as error, bad choices, and slips, but it's a little too protective: As usual, the Demi owns its own half-month.]

Your progressions have been queuing up for an event. For example, progressed Moon 21°56' Libra is within a degree of opposite your Saturn and square your Mercury. While "serious study" might have been a more fun way to spend these two months of the nearly exact aspect, "fall while in motion" is what you got. (Definitely glad you didn't hit your head.) Your SNQ angles rotated to touch your progressed Mars yesterday.

[When I calculate the SNQ by my preferred formula - using the Sidereal day instead of Tropical day, it's even closer. With progressed Mars 24°16' Sag, the SNQ straight from Solar Fire has Asc 25°10' Virgo, orb 0°52'. Calculating from formula gives 24°38' Virgo, orb 0°20'.]

Oh, and, speaking of quotidians, your SQ Asc was 18°12' Pisces, meaning transiting Mars was half 0°52' earlier than the angle and natal Uranus was 0°35' after the angle. Mars' opposition to your natal Uranus was on the SQ angle for the day with an average orb of 0°09' for the time of the accident.

[The PSSR wasn't very involved, but did have solar Uranus 0°28' from Ascendant. Surprise! Also, transiting Mercury was 0°59' from EP-a. Not contradictory; consistent with a surprise event that could include an accident; but not bringing in the critical factors that appear in every other chart. I think it wasn't really a player.][

You had all the major charts bring this event together. For example, your Ennead May 10 had Mars 2° below Asc, Neptune 1° above Asc, and a close Moon-Saturn square on your Mars. All three transiting malefics were foreground and involved with those exact aspects to natal planets. Here they are with PV longitude given first

24°41' H12 - t Saturn - 22°13' Aqu
[PVL n/a] - r Mars - 22°21' Sco
[PVL n/a] - NSR Moon - 24°04' Tau
28°58' H12 - t Neptune - 4°07' Pis
0°00' H1 - Ennead (NSR) Asc - 9°31' Pis
2°18' H1 - t Mars - 12°22' Pis

Your Anlunar had Saturn less than 1° from Asc (square your Mars), with Neptune and Mars conjoined mundanely 6° and 9° below the angle (you'd miss so much of this in an ecliptic-only chart, without the mundoscope: it would miss the entire point of the chart). Again, I lead with mundoscope positions below (remember that natal Mars is 22°21' Scorpio):

26°52' H12 - s Saturn - 13°32' Aqu
0°00' H1 - Anlunar Asc - 24°44' Aqu
0°42' H1 - t Saturn - 22°24' Aqu
3°45' H1 - s Neptune - 1°17' Pis
4°55' H1 - t Neptune - 4°08' Pis
8°36' H1 - t Mars - 13°07' Pis

Your May 7 Demi Kinetic Lunar Return had Saturn closely conjunct IC within a degree of natal Venus, with progressed Neptune rising and natal Mars on EP (squared, again, by that transiting Saturn). The chart highlights your progressed Moon-Saturn aspect. It does have a small amount of protection, though.

0°42' Tau - t Jupiter
4°00' Sco - Demi-KLR Asc
5°05' Aqu - r Sun
7°44' Sco - r Moon
8°21' Sco - p Neptune
8°46' Sco - r Neptune
10°26' Sco - r Jupiter
11°28' Sco - p Jupiter

20°25' Leo - Demi-KLR MC
22°09' Aqu - t Saturn
22°21' Sco - r Mars
22°38' Sco - Demi-KLR EP-a
22°49' Aqu - p Venus

21°39' Lib - p Moon
21°39' Ari - DKLR Moon
22°19' Ari - r Saturn
22°42' Cap - r Mercury
22°52' Ari - t Sun

[The April 24 full KLR doesn't seem descriptive; as with SLRs, it seems to have faded into the background once its demi occurred. It had transiting Pluto on IC, but not nearly as close mundanely as ecliptically. Transiting Venus was setting conjunct natal Sun and t Sun was on WP-a. It seems not connected to this event. - The recent (April 12) Kinetic Solar Return also doesn't seem descriptive, the main elements that fit being farther from angles than we have been seeing in the above charts, and the overall tone being more positive on balance (I've not found KSRs very useful). Nor were transits to it useful.]

Your chart was the gift that keeps on giving!

lol! That’s a good one, made me laugh so much!

I have really been feeling a progressed line up, eerily seemingly just outside of my self but yet coming from within myself.
I know the end of my father’s life is near, it really can’t go on for ever. I try not to think of him when something tries to pull my mind into memories that I don’t even know are real, but a sick feeling in my gut that something isn’t right. For some reason I watched the movie The Butterfly Effect again, because I couldn’t remember what it was about though I knew I’d seen it before. Sometimes I feel like Hollywood script writers are telling parts of my life.
I really believe that my dad did many mean and nasty things, inappropriate things and this year I feel like I am earnestly striving to not get swapped in that yuckiness and keep my loving heart open and be a good person inspire of all the yuckiness and be thankful for what ever it was because Im still able to feel happy about the life I’ve lived, am living and hoping to live.

I have been exploring a National Geographic course on the national parks in the USA and learning about its substructure and geographic forms. With my library card I can access The Great Courses lecture series (most all library cards can, just type in your card number and you get a free 7 day pass, able to be continuously renewed too!) I also found this cool matching/ sorting game I like to spend half an hour or so playing. I also have done some jigsaw puzzles.

Luckily I have two days off so I will get it taped up and elevated and maybe even painted since it’s sandal season now. It hurts so much for being such a small little toe! These past few years have been feet and toe issues for sure, all that Saturn..

So folks, please
Please
listen to Jim
This is real stuff here
Take it from me, if you have a harsh SSR or SLR and you can move,
move, travel and put those planets on or off an angle.
If Jim suggests you move or travel, trust him, he knows what he is talking about.

I suppose I might need to practice my “Ta Da” it’s only May and I still have months to go with the SSR.

I did suggest you go somewhere else for your birthday, right? <vbg>

Didn't one of the islands have your Venus on an angle?

Yes, and yes

I should take my own advice I suppose,
but I had a million reasons why I didn’t really like the idea of flying or leaving home, and my finances were not inclined to such flexibility then.

On a positive note, I acquired a vast collection of vintage sheet music that is simply exquisite, and I have plans to repurpose it into creative artwork, maybe even painting the notes with different colored glitter. There is oddles of stuff being weeded out of the stacks and we can take what we like or find homes for the discards by donating to smaller schools or organizations. So that made me very happy today.

It’s so weird that it was many weeks ago that I agreed to take the shift.
The library pays quite a bit more so I try to take those shifts when available.
I am thankful that I was home alone and not with the little kids.

Yesterday was the last day of the school year at the private school I work with. I feel so blessed and grateful to have had the chance to meet and work with so many wonderful children, to meet their families and to work with so many talented and amazing teachers, educators, support staff and community members.
Many of my students will not be returning, their families live and work internationally and they are moving 9n to new horizons and adventures elsewhere in the world. I felt such happiness deep inside knowing that some where in Portugal two girl twins would be living and bringing their special talents to that world, that some where near the border of China and N. Korea there will be a strong warrior boy who stands up against bullies, and up in Toronto a lovely family will be living and looking for a new gymnastics coach.
I was prepared for my feelings of loss and sadness, but I wasnt prepared for THEIR feelings towards me. I was gifted with so many cards and thank you notes and flowers and gifts of cash and credit cards and gifts cards. I felt like I won an award or the lottery. It was truly humbling and a special moment that I will remember for the rest of my life.
I tried to treat each child as my own, I tried to always keep in the front of my mind that this little child is soooooooo important to someone, that these little babes are our future and need to be treated as treasures, irreplaceable and a unique gift to the world.
To be honest sometimes it was challenging dealing with certain characters that I felt like I needed to know their astrology so I could figure out how to do my best for them, but after deeply thinking and feeling about it I admitted to myself that I have been watching over children my whole life, and just doing what felt natural and best each moment and that I would not have been hired if I wasnt capable of being genuinely loving and kind and thoughtful and considerate.
I had two children who come fromdivesrse family units, the one child has 4 mothers and no father and the other has 4 fathers and no mother and it was so challenging for me at first to learn the knew language terms for these (mommy, momo, nami, nano, dada,daddy, tatta, toti) but I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks bc I didnt mess up the pronouns at all yesterday when saying goodbye yesterday.

Wanted to make note here that this months demi lunar had a very strong showing right to the minute.
Right now, just a few minutes past, I am working with my son on fixing his motorcycle, after it not running for months. Draining out the old gas now, which sucked...literally the boy had to suck it out and I dont think he will ever do that again. We had a trial run just around 430, but it conked out (bad/oldgas) and then it wouldnt go into neutral, and I think the gas lines are plugged and that he needs a new oil filter and spark plugs bc it was just running off, like the timing was off or the air fuel ratio isnt right.
Did not know I was getting into this project this afternoon, had to run a bunch or errands in yucky traffic and was happy to get home, only to have the boys big smiling face tell me he had been working on it all morning and would I help him and follow him down the road........

I am not a happy camper thinking about him riding a bike. I was sick in my heart when he bought it, and grateful that it wouldnt start. Ugh. Ugh.

So yes, today Mars is conjunct my Saturn setting past the Descendant. I was mad almost to tears at work because I've weeded over 6000 books, and my coworkers have barely done 300 and this project will not be done by Fall. They just stand around and talk all day and I really was angry about it today.

Also my father fractured his pelvis Sunday morning, we were all supposed to celebrate his birthday tomorrow at his favorite restaurant but It looks like I will have to go to the hospital to see him.

My demi lunar dont ever seem to be so noisy and spot on, I dont know if its because I live such a boring life and dont get out much, or if today's was just especially prominent. I'm ready for bed and it's not even 6pm yet lol.

Whew. What a day! And the Mars transit to Mercury-Saturn seems a big part of it (including natl Sun on IC that seems family related). The demi-lunar itself, though, does bring all the stuff to the fore, though your natal Moon-Neptune is closest. Occurring at 4:45 PM your time:

t Jupiter on WP-a -1°49'
t Uranus on Dsc -5°03'
r Neptune on EP -0°30'
------------------------------
r Moon on EP +0°26'
t Mars on Dsc +3°18'
r Sun on IC +3°23'
r Saturn on Dsc +3°51'
r Jupiter on EP-a +1°21'
r Mercury on N +2°55'

t Mars co r Saturn 0°06'
r Mercury-Saturn sq 0°23'
r Sun-Saturn sq 0°28' M
t Mars sq r Mercury 0°29'
t Mars sq r Sun 0°51' M
r Moon-Neptune 0°56'
t Jupiter op r Moon 1°20' M
r Moon-Jupiter co 1°23' M
r Jupiter-Neptune 1°49'
r Moon-Sun sq 2°39'
t Jupiter op r Jupiter 2°43' M

Its days like this, with such stellar showings of events that I am so thankful for you Jim and this forum. I'm not crazy. This is real.

Grateful that this day is almost over. How extra special for me to have that conjunction today on my demi lunar and I get to enjoy this for a fortnight. lol. I will definitely be setting an alarm to remind me to watch out next time Mars comes around again. I was really really mad today at work. I wanted to just walk out and leave them to it. I dont understand why that anger made me feel like crying, and I had to work hard to shake my thoughts away and not just spiral into sadness, it was so frustrating. My real boss is on vacation for 3 weeks and the person in charge is not someone I am comfortable confiding/venting to.
I wasnt angry in traffic, but it was hot and smothering and so many cars and trucks with yucky exhausts so I couldn't have my windows down, and I dont use ac because it's bad for the environment so I was pretty hot and bothered in a not fun way, but I wasnt angry then.

I suppose this would have been a good day for a vacation on the beach of another town. I will look into the Lunars for the next time Mars comes around, maybe that would be a good time to relocate since Mars Saturns aspects are notoriously hard.

So, I did a thing yesterday.

I wasnt sure if I was gonna actually do it, I was really scared and nervous...so many things could have gone wrong, bad, uncomfortable, even violent.
In some ways things did go wrong, bad, uncomfortable and violent, but they weren't as unbearable and life threatening as my imagination feared.

I didnt want to ask for help understanding the transits yesterday, or things with my LR or SSR. I looked at the chart for yesterday way back in December, and I look at my luminary charts, progressions and synastry charts quite frequently. I was really afraid that upon our exploration of yesterday charts something "outstandingly horrible" was going to happen. I was afraid also that if I publicly said, on this date and time I'm going to be doing such and such, that it would be akin to inviting trouble to come looking for me. I also did not want anyone worrying so I thought it best to just keep my mouth shut and play things out as I usually do, in the moment. So I'm sorry I didnt tell you but....

I WENT TO THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS CONCERT AT DARIEN LAKE!!!!!ALL BY MYSELF!!!BIG HUGE FREAKY STYLE HAPPY DANCING!!!!!!!
OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!

I had to do some last minute exhaust work on my car to secure the heat shield that had busted loose and was making the most embarrassingly loud rattle, put air in the tires and check my fluids, but I did it, gased up the vehicle packed up all my day camp stuff like extra clothes and shoes, pillow mat and blanket, sunscreen, hat, glasses, tools, lots of good food and cold water, ice packs, books, phone charger and new registration tags and plates and took off flying like Zephyr!!!!!

I was the first car in line to park at 1:30, gate opened at 2 (venus on Midhaven felt so so blessed and beautiful). I was so excited to be first. I dont know why, nor was it my intention to be first, but it was so exciting to be first in line. I took a picture of the parking lot gate for my memories.

OMG OMG OMG. it was so beautiful with the lovely fluffy clouds that diffused the suns Ray's. Just a totally beautiful day, and I was so grateful that all the team putting on the show would see how lovely NY really can be, its days like yesterday that really spot light how beautiful the world really is.

A few times before the show I felt really awkward being alone, but really for the most part I think I went unnoticed and did not have any trouble from anyone. I wore pretty blue and purple harem pants that somehow matched my RHCP tshirt perfectly (in my mind at least) and my hair was swept up into a RHCPbaseball hat I got when I first starting listening to them in 2006. I felt pretty transparent and happy about it. I definitely was not trying to get attention or catch eyes or anything but to show up and stand up and cheer and support ......well, ya know, Aquarius, we just beat to our own drummer more often then not and run counter to normal and honestly I feel like Aquarian luminaries are a sign that doesnt get much social support, not to many cheerleaders for scientific people....and even though I was terrified I need to show up and cheer one of my generations greatest Aquarius sun, that I needed to whistle and holler and dance like a freak to his music, because...well because we need that funk and fun in the world.

I found out something yesterday, as I sat alone. It's easier to meet and talk to people alone. I met some great people yesterday (Abby and Adam were my dancing partners) that I would have never talked to if I came with a companion. People seemed to have an easier time talking to me too.
I took a nap in the car after the show while traffic worked it's way out. I've learned that Darien lake means 2hours sitting in your car as 8000 people try to leave out little route 77. I was abruptly woken up at 12:36am by the street cleaner machine and had no issues getting home till literally the last 5 miles which drove me through the freakiest thickest fog I've ever seen here at that time.

So for the important information...the sound was stellar...out of this world...perfect above and beyond. I was far back on the lawn slightly more to the right and the sound felt like it was washing up the hill and out into the world, like a magical wave of loving grooves that were honed and perfect in every way. The set list had everything I loved, and my favorite kick but athemn Around the World had me leaping so high I felt like I was flying. They played the Zephyr song, and I didnt cry but smiled and smiled and twirled and swirled and swooned....and I did cry the happiest tear when I got to hear I Remember You. So so so beautiful that mans voice and ability and just everything!!!

So that was my secret vacation I promised myself back in December if I worked hard and minded my business and focused on myself and my responsibilities . I felt hungover this morning from the exposure and experience and everything, but I'm feeling better then ever now.

The Chili Peppers? OMG. That must have been AWESOME.

Way to go!

It was beyond awesome. It was one of the best times in my life, if not THE greatest time!!!

So... for where you live the charts were decent (even for the greatest moment of your life type of event!). The SLR had Jupiter opposite natal Jupiter exactly, within a degree of WP and Uranus 2° from Descendant. The Demi-SLR was less intense but had similar symbolism (though a bit draggy on natal Saturn and Neptune added).

But for Darian Lake - you mean the Six Flags location in Buffalo, yes? (so I used Buffalo) - natal Jupiter was 0°02' from the demi-lunar angle, enough to outweigh all the other "trying to make trouble" planets. All your surreal and entertainment planets were up. The full lunar also still had that Jupiter-Jupiter and Moon-Jupiter up.

Good times!

The show was in the town of Darien, about 20 miles East of Buffalo. A small farming community that had a small amusement park that was acquired by the 6 Flags Corp in the 90s. Cute little off the beaten path place, lots of woods creek's and some very big ponds.Just off route 77 between i90 to the north and route20 to the south.

Saturn and Neptune from my DL indeed felt draggy, like I said I wasnt sure if I was going to go, lots of anxiety about the old car, my old body, chores to do and fear/anxiety about being alone, having my phone die, having technology issues at the gate retrieving my ticket on the new app, being squished and surrounded by strangers, traffic nightmares. But I was like, just be prepared, take your own time, give yourself plenty of space, keep your heart open and be positive!

I suppose if I had stayed home I might have finished my painting and had it turn out to be the best one I've done ever, I'm really not sure what else might constitute me saying, this was the best day I personally ever had. I cant even imagine what might have transpired if I succumbed to fear and stayed home, honestly I think I would have been miserable, ashamed, embarrassed and defeated feeling.

I was actually very worried about the Mars Uranus conjunction and the Venus Pluto opposition....in a crowd with summer heat, draft beer, and beautiful women in next to nothing....but I saw no violence and heard only loving things ....I was shocked to see everyone's best behavior. Not at all like the concerts I went to in the 80s. Lots of families, children, grandparents, diverse couples and even one lady who came alone and shocked everyone. (several people made it a point to tell me how happy they were that I came and was having such a fine time by myself.) I was wondering if the new ticket system, linked to your phone had anything to do with that, like an added level of security...so that the people who are more inclined to be triggered into misbehaving have a second thought, knowing that they are not just some anonymous person in the crowd but would be identified and caught. What ever it was the whole experience was utterly delightful for everyone and I truly hope the musicians and their whole team felt loved and appreciated and welcome in upstate NY. They all work so hard to put on shows and it really comes through in the professionalness of everyone involved.

I was trying to calculate my upcoming DSSR. Jim I read here on the forum that this is not the same thing as simply calculating when the transiting Sun is directly opposite my natal Sun. I dont understand why that is?
I have calculated that it will occur on August 22 at 3:02 pm here in Mendon NY. I did this calculation simply by looking at when the Sun is opposite my natal sun. It appears that the time might be more like 3:02 and a smidge, not quite 3:03. Is this correct? Is there a better way to find this time then manually scanning the emphemeris for the suns transits and then plugging in specific times till I get the right degrees, minutes and seconds?
Before realizing this was the time of my DSSR, I found out late June that I would be off from both jobs for two weeks the end of August, ineffect I have a real "vacation" time and actually had been planning on using that time to ready the home for winter so to speak, gutting each room and throughly cleaning up and clearing out the whole entire house, with special attention to the scary cellar, the kitchen and bathroom.
This is the time of year that the outdoor creatures start trying to get inside the house to bed down for winter and I have learned it's never to early to deter their efforts.
In looking at the DSSR that I drew up it looks as if T Neptune is on the nose on the Ic, opposite my natal Pluto and square my ASC. I am planning on visiting with my dad during my vacation. I really do love him so much, and he really is wonderful person for the most part, and I look to my 2026SSR thinking that might be the first birthday I celebrate without him on this side of the grass, and I get really really sad at the thought of him not being alive and there if I need a hug. I feel that way about you too Jim, and you too Steve.
but anyways.......in that DSSR I see a possible tweak to put Venus or even Jupiter on the angle, and move Neptune and r Pluto off. Is that a vain attempt, does relocating DSSRs work like SSRs? I usually am of the mindset that I need to spend my money on simply living, paying Bill's and the kiddos and not on vacations. I dont like driving or flying because it pollutes the air and is not kind to the environment, but honestly...looking at how the rest of the population just bombs around going anywhere and everywhere for a thrill or to beat boredom without a care for our air quality...maybe it's ok if I go to Salem for a weekend to reset my inner compass and see a different part of the world then this county I've lived in my whole life. I'm not sure. Any thoughts and feedback are welcomed.

Thr Demi-Solar is indeed transiting Sun exactly opposite natal Sun. (If I ever seemed to say otherwise, please let me know where so I can fix it.)

Time Matters will handle this for you automatically. I can look for you later this morning.

I'm sorry, I thought I had taken a screen shot of the post and I guess I didnt. I cant seem to find the thread I had been reading, I must have misread something then.

My pc is still pretty useless for anything other then a dvd player right now, and even that function takes more time to initiate then I want to spend. I forgot TM can run DSSRs. I've never really looked through mine, I suppose I should run them and integrate them into my binder of my lifes charts I have and spend some time going through them and my journals/calendars to see how they found expression. It might show me more clearly how I behave in the second part of my year descending towards my new SSR.

I'm not confident of demi-solars. Mine don't work and, when I run major events after the fact, the demi-solar rarely shows it. These (and quarti-solars) may have a narrower use of, say, timing particulars occurring during the SSR year but the certainly don't have the "suddenly my live feels and acts different" feel of having a full SSR (or a lunar or demi-lunar) occur.

Nonetheless - all for helping you look on your own - here is your Demi-SSR for August 22, 2024, 3:02:22 PM EDT, Mendon Center, NY.

r Pluto MC -7°35'
t Jupiter Dsc -6°50'
r Mars Asc -6°46'
t Pluto IC -0°21'
------------------------
r Moon Asc +2°18'
r Jupiter Asc +4°10'
r Neptune Asc +6°25'
t Venus MC +8°32'

t Moon op r Uranus 1°10'

t Jupiter op r Mars 0°04' M
t Neptune op r Pluto 0°35'
t Jupiter sq r Pluto 0°45' M
r Mars-Pluto sq 0°49' M
r Moon-Neptune co 0°56'
r Jupiter-Neptune co 1°49'
r Moon-Jupiter co 1°51' M
t Venus sq r Neptune 2°07' M
t Neptune sq r Moon 2°39' M

Veronica wrote: Thu Aug 01, 2024 7:42 am My pc is still pretty useless for anything other then a dvd player right now, and even that function takes more time to initiate then I want to spend.

You have a working cell phone, yes? You might want to get this free astrology app:
viewtopic.php?f=76&t=8445

The free version will do a lot. I don't think the free version does solar and lunar returns, though (if you like it) a full license (all capabilities) is only a few dollars for a year. However, one easy way to get a return is just to spin the date and time dials until Sun or Moon is at the longitude you want, e.g., for your demi-solar spin until Sun is at 5°04'53" Leo.

I'm getting ready to go back to working 7 days a week starting tomorrow, both schools I work at will be up and running for the school year as of tomorrow.

The library has been open on the weekends for a few weeks now, which is my shift. So while I've had a few weeks off from the Montessori school, I still worked at the library.

Its been so so nice to be home and not have to go anywhere and just enjoy being close to my family. It feels so vitally important for me to just be here, in the house in close proximity to them, just in case they need anything.

Honestly, I'm terrified about not being there for them. It can be a quite debilitating thought, and I have taught myself to honor when that arises with the counter thought, the Universe is always there for them, just like how it is always there for me.

Yet, I still do feel compelled to just sit here and mom for as long as they are here and enjoy every moment as best as can be because nothing lasts and things will change and grow and have new needs.

I also feel that out of all the jobs I could have out in the world, the one that only I can do better then anyone else is mom to my kids. I could be a great library clerk or preschool teacher, but so can so many other wonderful people.

But they cant be Orion and Sabrina's mom, that's my number one most important job right now, to be with them as they grow up and help them the best I can learn to survive and navigate the cosmos.

I have other roles, like Provider of Peanuts to the Piscean Parrot, or Gator Walker lol, but my job is to keep my children alive and thriving as best as I can, which means I have to also keep myself alive and thriving, because you cant fill from an empty cup now can you.

I did completely go top to bottom in the house combating the lowest on the food chain first and eradicated many worthy foes from the out door world that were trying to mooch in on my heat as winter approaches. None offered to help with the rent so out they went. I gave fair warning and told them to leave or else. I felt quite victorious, like a real grown up doing grown up normal things like sweeping spiders outside. It's the small things I've noticed that cumulatively add up to big things, like baby steps.

I did go visit with my father. He told me he has so much money and he cant spend it so he gave me his CC and I bought a new battery for my car bc winter is coming, heating fuel and propane, my phone bill for the month, some dog food, water, a bookcase () and some totally fly RHCP Merchandise that supports www.Parksproject.us. In my mind, his money he talks about is actually taxpayer's money since its VA and should be only spent on need. I really need to be able to organize my reference and research books, I've felt so out of sorts having all my possessions shut away in boxes.
I even went to a liquor store and bought him this wine he asked for. It was nice to see him. With his Piscean moon hearing him is a totally different thing.

I felt a little bruised when he told me I have nothing so he wants to give me my deceased siblings share of their inheritance behind my surviving siblings back so they dont know and I end up with 3 shares since all my surviving siblings are millionaires and I haven't a pot to {nass} in. He offered me 25 an hour, and I could bill unlimited hours but that I had to lie to the nurses and doctors and say he was fine. I'm not deceptive like that and I cant lie, I wont lie unless I'm scared. So I bowed out of his offer and I'm sure he feels like I way overspent what he thought I needed, but he said if I needed anything to buy it, so I did. Maybe I did it so for once when he told everyone that I was an arse, that I was.

I had mentioned this time off coincided with my DSSR, which unplanned, was the days I visited my dad. Patrick the German Shepherd also experienced his DSSR, sad to say, with what appears to have been a heart attack that affected him deeply, just today is he truly not limping any more and he ate. He didnt eat nor poo for almost 4 days, had to initially be carried downstairs after the attack, and barely moved for at least 6days. It was pretty rough, the rose oil helped almost immediately again. He even willingly licked it, maybe remembering the last attack when I first made it for him and how it helped.
He's much better today.
Yesterday morning at 1020am Orion told me he has signed a lease and will be moving in with his best friends in their own place. I didnt cry and I was very brave and said how proud I am and how much I have loved being here for him and how the world is just gonna love him and that I trust him to know what he needs to do for himself. Yup, so I did cry later but I also know I have heard this song before and that moving out is a huge step and contrary to my desires actually needs proper planning and resources and time to execute successfully. I'm more of a hurricane, when it's time to move it comes suddenly out of the blue, very calm and then pop let's go. But anyways I'm still in my feels about this past vacation/DSSR time frame as it was unusually eventful, yet the events seem a clear iteration of other similiar interaction between myself and my family, almost verbatim, very groundhog Dayish my life seems sometimes.

I also have been having deep subconscious sadness for my beloved who have died. So many people that I have loved so strongly and deeply and intimately are dead and I miss them and cherish my memories of them, which surprisingly I am having strange long long long forgotten memories arise, good ones, about mundane things like a whole conversation I had with my mother about rock and roll while we played cribbage and listened to my mix tape. It's as if I am now able to recall the finer details of the memories, like what book was on the table (Swan Song).
I made great progress on my project painting. I have painted almost 17 constellations now, I do have to touch them up once I get more glow in the dark glitter. It's so hard to find around here, and I dont like buying things on line. It's going to take me quite a bit of time, glue and glitter to do all 88, but I think it will be awesome. My room allready looks beautiful in the dark with the path of the ecliptic circling around me. My art isnt everyone style so I'll spare you the gratuitous selfies I have of them, but if anyone would like to see them, let me know.

So half a year down.
I think it's the childish Aquarius in me or maybe my Pluto, but I do think there is a huge difference between a child who is 3 and and child who is 3 and a half. Just ask any 3.5 yo.

I'm hoping to finish the last zodiac sign left to paint, Pisces before Halloween, that's when the sunlight is hard to paint consistently with. I'm looking at my new SSR with hope and the transits that are coming at me for the next ten years have the potential to go either really well or really not well, so I'm trying to make the best choices in each moment now.

I am feeling a need for intimacy, not sex mind you, but a flesh and blood living person not related to me, to relate with me. I feel though with my kids still at home that I cant truly devote myself to a friendship the way I think an intimate friendship needs. I am trusting that since I have never starved to death, the Universe will continue to provide what I need, regardless of what I think.

My Lunar sets up later this afternoon. My landlord informed me that he was having the gravel driveway paved but wasnt exactly sure when, but the crew arrived at 8:30am this morning. I now have a small army of men and tons of equipment and raw materials getting busy.
I have mixed feelings about this, and I dont know what the flock of sparrows who forage on the gravel are going to do. I haven't parked my car on a paved way since 1991 when we we moved from my childhood home. The angles in my lunar on my natal Mars are accurate for this event.

Your natal Mars and Jupiter (along with transiting Sun and Mercury) are strongest. What jumps out at me is the transiting Sun-Jupiter-Saturn T-square near the angles, which sounds like "the labors of improvement."

I'd sure like to think that my landlord had only labors of improvement on his mind when he ordered this parking lot built. Yet I have a gut feeling that things are not as they seem. I know a story of a landlord who knew his tenants had cars that leaked oil, had a new driveway installed and then sued his tenants for damage from the oil leak just to get more money and keep the security deposit. My cars dont leak, yet I'm just very anxious about my landlords apparent kindness, especially when he keeps telling me, out of the blue and even in letters and text, that I'm the best tenant he's ever had. I feel like I'm being set up to be sued for damages or something, it's just very odd and false feeling.

But regardless....labor of improvement indeed as I had my first real day back in the nursery with 16 new kiddos and OMG what a different class dynamic then last years!! I haven't gotten the updated roster with birthdata but I am definitely feeling alot of love towards these little people and I cant wait to get to know them better. Last years class had some major Capricorn/Cancer polar opposites that were so challenging, brought me to tears of sadness for their mean spiteful words at me for no reason I could explain except astrologically.

We had a freak rain shower last night, with heavy flooding and big booms of thunder and lightning. I usually love storms, but this one had me worried that since the landlord took down the houses gutters the basement and foundation was going to just crumble away under the amount of rain. Houses need gutters and down spouts or all the water just pools around the foundation and I really dont understand why he would take them down on such an old house that he knows has severe foundation issues allready. When I moved in years ago he said he was getting new ones, but they never materialized.

I'm looking to pick up another part time job. I'm hoping to find something for around 10 to 15 hours a week. I'd like to start a savings account so when my car finally bites the dust I'm not left high and dry, but have a way to get another car. My car is functioning fine rn but know it wont last 10 more years so I should start working towards dealing with its inevitable passing. It's hard to find a job for so little hours but I'm thinking if maybe registering with a temp service or head hunter, I know a few people who had good luck going that route. I'm also considering free lance Nanny/Care giver jobs, but they dont take out taxes or give SS credit so I'm not to excited about that even if 40 dollars tax free an hour appears seductiv.

I

I have a new LR approaching on the 7th. A few notes about this current LR...the driveway did not happen. After all the hustle and bustle I came from work to a semi graded plot of gravel. 3 weeks now and it doesnt look like it was ever intended to be paved. I tripped and fell over the big ridges and poorly excavated work and really hurt my knee and arm (Wednesday at 9pm, with a very strong chart showing hurt at me). This is going to be a horrible mess in the winter with ice forming and poor drainage. I'm going to have to buy a ton of salt or sand to try and navigate this catastrophe with out breaking a hip or tailbone.
On the positive side I was offered a full time option, with real benefits and a very nice raise too, so I dont need to look for a side job at this point. I also did something atypical of myself, after watching the mandated sexual harassment bullying training courses I started crying about the behaviors my co workers were having towards me and my students so I wrote an email to my boss asking for a face to face conversation outlaying my observations. I was so scared and 10 minutes before the meeting I wanted to run and run and run as far away as I could, but I didnt. I had to do the grown up thing and face this perceived evil and tell my side. So I did. and it went great. my boss actually was allready aware and was thankful for my honest and courageousness at speaking up so that it can be properly dealt with.
I decided that I dont want to work 7 days a week anymore, I'm not having enough time for my home or my children and those are the things I value the most. So that was a big let go for me and I feel really great about it.
This upcoming lunar speaks of my son moving away. This will be my last lunar with him living here with me and I took advantage of this time to use some vacation time so I can properly celebrate my daughters upcoming 22nd birthday (Her Golden birthday if that has any significance) and to help my son ready for his move. I have so many feelings that's it's hard to differentiate them, but I'm trying to think forward and recalling when he went to kindergarten and I finally had real alone time with my daughter. I am looking forward to our time together.
Yesterday was my sister's "heavenly" SSR and I was missing our huge family celebrations and parties that I used to put on. I loved throwing parties for my loved ones and getting us all together. It was such a wonderful time in my life and I'm thankful I was able to do that for us.
The poachers are out combing the park for deer, fox, mushrooms and their poor frogs and turtles. I hate running into them when I'm out but even with Patrick with me I am reluctant to do much for fear they will retaliate at me. I wish the police and DEC could stop them but it's such a low priority in the human world. Theres not much wildlife left and I fear it is going to get worse before it is better for the other living creatures on this planet. I did find 2 beautiful retail hawk feathers on my hike the other day and promptly stuck them in my hair and happily continue my stroll with much gladness and feelings of blessings in my heart.