Solunars by Aldebaran Sidereal Academy

Traveling to Ny towards the end of September for 5 days , will be meeting a former coworker that I worked with remotely for two years until he left the company in July of last year. Obviously we’ve kept in touch. He lives on Long Island. Just wondering if we’ll hit it off in person. I have a very bad tendency of romanticizing things, Ive successfully managed to keep my feet on the ground with him considering he is legally married ( separated for five yrs) and lives in another state but we seem to have a pretty interesting connection considering the friendship has lasted almost three years and this will be our first face to face meeting. Any advice? Will it translate in real life?

My info:8/26/76
11:59 pm
Born in Managua Nicaragua currently reside in Tampa, Fl

Him: 08/20/1983
10:00 am
Huntington, Ny currently resides in Calverton, Ny

Thanks

Yes, you do have that Neptune on Descendant that tends to romanticize things - to need to be deeply submerged in someone or something. You are also an optimist and look forward to things going well. Still, with Venus in Leo you probably tend to "comparison shop" romantically (something akin to "looking for the best deal") and find self-surrender a bit difficult (though feeling confident enough in someone to do it sounds yummy to you).

He's a Leo-Sagittarius. You share a Sun-sign and have square Moon-signs so there are a lot of similarities. Having the same Sun-sign can be good in the sense of instinctively understanding each other or bad when you start feeling that the other is taking up ego space that rightly should be yours. His nature is dominating, almost imperial (you have a little of that in you, too). As a very broad generalization, two Leos can romp together creating a lot of thunder under the covers: If other factors line up, I've known them to think that nobody else could ever quite understand the unique physical magic they have together.

So... first, let's see if that magic is probably there by comparing your charts.

The single strongest connection is that his Vens precisely conjoins your Sun (only 0°03' away) and is near your IC. His Jupiter-Uranus square your Sun. This suggests he makes you feel very good! Broadly speaking, he's good for you, brings out your specialness and, in any case, perceives you as special. Sun-Venus interchanges are usually mostly friends (and perhaps mentor-mentee) more than lovers, but with his well-aspected Venus on your angle I'd say he does (or, thinking more to the future, can) love you strongly and purely. You have two-way Sun-Jupiter aspects so you each instinctively want what's best for the other and to help or contribute generously to the other. His Mars squares your Uranus very closely, which is usually physically electrical, sexually carefree, has the feel of an adventure, takes risk - but also needs a lot of personal space (breathing room): Mars-Uranus relationships flourish best when both have plenty of independent space for matters that interest them and their own initiatives (too much restriction makes the relationship unworkable, even intolerable). Usually, Mars (him) excites Uranus (you) and makes possible what you most want (whether in career, adventure, or orgasms). It's experimental.

I looked at it that way mostly from your perspective. Flipping it around to see what his experience is of you, most of the above applies - all the aspects and sign relationships except for what I said about his Venus on your angles. The loudest difference is that your Pluto conjoins his Ascendant. This is complicated. A lot of Pluto-Angle relationships are brief. Whether brief or long, you (and anyone born within about two years of you) are likely to heavily impact his life, trigger bit changes - or, in a negative sense, upset his apple cart. If it lasts more than briefly, any eventual breakup is likely to be dramatic with severe effect (not just in romantic relationships: think of Karen and Richard Carpenter, Marie Antoinette an King Louis XVI, Amber Heard and Johnny Depp, Robert Blake and Bonny Lee Bakley, Freud and Jung, Elvis and Priscilla, Monica and Bill, Nicole and OJ. - Against this anxiety-producing list, I need to mention that not all Pluto-Angle relationships go that way, some endure epically; and your mutual aspects are, on balance, extremely positive, so this may show simply as both of your lives are altered - especially his.

So - still looking from his side - your Sun conjoins his Venus (see above), in the same sign but not all that close to his Sun (probably the best balance of pros and cons), your Moon and Venus conjoin his Mercury (you two can probably talk for hours before notice time has gone by), your Jupiter aspects his Sun-Venus-Jupiter (see above, all lovely). I didn't mention before that your Saturn conjoins his Mars because it's a very wide aspect - arguably too wide to notice - which I don't think is severe at all but only means that you have a whisper of "tough stuff" that likely means you can deal with difficult things when they arise.

The only thing else that I think needs attention between the charts is your Moon closely square his Neptune. If there is a vulnerability in the relationship, this is it. The interchange is disorienting, uncertain, flustered, baffled. It may just be that you make each other's heads spin and hearts flutter, though I have to mention it could be unnerving anxiety and embarrassment. The aspect usually feels crazy and might be genuinely crazy. It can be obsessive. Neptune (him) rarely knows where they stand in the relationship (or correctly discerns that the answer is "nowhere"). Secrecy and deception can be part of these relationships (so establish your ground rules on that early and be willing to stick to them). - The best path for such relationships when they work well is just to embrace the insanity of it while maintaining perfect integrity with each other.

OK, that's what I think of the relationship per se. Now let's see what's obvious in your chart for the last week of September.

You're about to start a two-year period of directed Saturn conjunct your Moon. You're not there yet - you may not feel it for a few months - but it does mark a time (distinctive to your personal development) when practical matters work better than emotional matters. This doesn't mean "no love," though it does mean likelihood of emotional disappointments, loss, and sadness at key junctures of that two years. I just mention this first to set up the larger context of this stage of your life and to alert you that it's a great time to dig in and tackle practical matters, too.

Oh, but directed Venus is also exactly aspecting your Saturn right now. You're in the dead center of a two-year period when I would expect emotional disappointment to be a major thing. Maybe you've already been through this. (I'm not talking of late September specifically, but of the last year more broadly, and probably continuing another six months to a year.) - This doesn't mean "don't go for it" - if I meant that, I would just be preemptively restricting you (which I don't want to do). These two directions just mean you're in a general stage of your life when Moon and Venus matters don't feel they're working right for you much of the time.

But within this broader time, you're in a narrower time when something very interesting may happen. First, this is the year that progressed Mars conjoins your Uranus - a time to take chances, break out, do daring things, have adventure. (Naturally this means you might be more accident prone, so pick where and when to go crazy <g>.) Since his Mars squares your Uranus, he may be exactly the adventure you want or need! - Also, right about the end of September and first half of October, progressed Moon squares your Moon. Emotional connections that feel surprisingly intimate (mind-reading empathic sort of stuff) can concentrate in this time.

And that brings us to the transits. Transiting Neptune is taking two years to oppose your Moon. (This means it also aspects your progressed Moon in late September, too.) The main marker of this aspect is acute sensitivity. You will make foolish, irresponsible decisions. Given the risk-taking, I probably would say that you're willing to look like a fool and embarrass yourself to explore something you want. (That's neither a good nor bad thing per se. If you are convinced your physical safety isn't at risk, you may very much want to do this!) Since his Neptune aspects your Moon, you have, in two different ways, picked someone that is likely to provide the same sorts of experience your chart says you will be going through, including such things as risk-taking, unleashed freedom, overwhelming emotion, sensitivity, vulnerability - that whole set of things.

Saturn will have backed off the square to your Ascendant at that point. Again, you are likely to feel unrestrained in some key ways.

Your next solar return (on your birthday) has a Moon-Jupiter conjunction wherever you are, setting a foundation for a basically upbeat, positive, pleasing year. If you are in Tampa for your birthday, you have a romantic, starry-eyed Venus-Neptune opposition angular which becomes less starry eyed - more passionate, perhaps more tense and threatening, or in any case stronger emotions of all kinds - because Mars squares the Venus-Neptune. Your Mars and Mercury are exactly rising so you are hardly left vulnerable - you have your strategic sense, practical sensibilities, and ability to handle yourself intact. - If you let us know for sure where you will spend your birthday, I can maybe go into more detail on what your year beginning August 27 will be like.

You didn't say exactly when you were going, so I can't check your lunar returns (or know where you are going to be when they set up) so, for now, I'll leave it with this.

While you're ready for adventure, he's ready for love and pleasure this year. Solar arc Moon aspects his Venus. Directed Jupiter squares his Ascendant and directed Venus aspects his MC. This could be the happiest year of his life. - Progressed Venus conjoins his Sun. I don't want to be too extreme and decisive about it but, at first impression, this dude wants to get married about now! In his life, he's primed to find The One.

So... remembering that you asked about all of this... and not knowing you well enough to know what you would or wouldn't do... I'm going to suggest that if anybody gets really hurt in this encounter, he's much more likely to get hurt by you than you are by him. The main difference in the synastry is his Venus on your angle (he could really love you!) and your Pluto on his angle (you have a major impact on his life and then may depart dramatically - or not). He is in major cycles when he really wants to find The One and connect right now, while you're in major cycles that have a lot of separation and practicality. Etc. Take that for what it's worth to you. What I recommended about Moon-Neptune applies here: The best path through for everybody is to maintain intact, solid integrity with each other at all times.

Turning to transits, Pluto is square his Saturn. He's in the middle of two or three years when things he has previously considered settled and fixed are breaking up, dismantling, loosening up. There are obviously some losses in this and perhaps mostly shaking up material foundations. Neptune has been squaring his Neptune, so he's been already going through the phase of things seeming less defined (this happens when things break up) and needing a lot of introspection, probably alone time. Now - beginning about now - he has a year or so of Uranus square his Sun. He needs freedom and renewal. He needs things to change, especially about how he understands himself and where he's going in life. It's definitely time for a new phase.

If he has his upcoming birthday in or near Calverton, Pluto to his Saturn is exactly on angles. This suggests it is a year primarily about this crumbling of either restrictions or material foundations. Solar return Moon opposes his Venus three to four months after his birthday, which is the peak time for romance appearing or coming to a head.

Since I don't know exactly when you're going to be there, I can't zero in much more closely than this.

This is a lot of information to take in! Thank you for being so detailed. You’ve been very accurate in your analysis of what we’ve both being going through. There is sort of a weird telepathic quality to our relationship, he’s always been very good about sensing how I feel without me having to say anything at all. Also you are correct, he is very dominating also very confident. We did have a few disagreements while working together because of what i perceived to be him wanting to take control of everything. I was promoted and he wasn’t when we applied for the same job, I guess I felt threatened or insecure, maybe a little of both. Anyway he left and now he’s in a higher position than me at the new place. He has mentioned wanting to work together again if a position opens up at the new company. Sometimes I think it’s better if we don’t work together to avoid any competitiveness/ disagreements. He is definitely looking for “ the one”, he’s had a very difficult time accepting the end of his marriage. I still believe if she wanted to work things out, he’d drop everything although lately he sounds more determined in wanting to officially end it. It’s pretty obvious she stays married for financial reasons and he’s being taken advantage of. As far as my situation goes, I’ve been very disappointed for a long time, I’ve posted about my ex of 13 yrs in other threads, this is the guy I thought I would end up with. I really felt like there would never be anyone that I could feel as comfortable, “at home” with. I was completely convinced we would marry eventually, no one could try to convince me otherwise and now.. it just hasn’t worked out the way I hoped. It’s just been a complete let down and I’m tired of feeling so disappointed, I just felt like I needed to get out of the area, do something new, meet someone new. I’ll be in NY 9/20-25th. I’ll be in Tampa for my birthday and as far as I know, he’ll be in Calverton.

Just my two cents of intuition / wisdom.

Do not trust any man that is still legally married and says that he is separated. Don't bet on that kind of romance to work out. Just look around and choose someone who is not married or having issues with his separation. If he's still married, there is a reason for that.

Hello,

I agree which is why I haven’t really romanticized the whole thing plus I know he dated someone after his wife left and immediately broke up with her when his wife wanted to try again, this was in 2020. I do know that the wife is seeing someone else now ( social media pictures) IMO she stays married because he still contributes quite a bit financially. He, on the other hand, still has hope. I’m not concerned with whether or not anything romantic will come out of it just hoping we get along as well in person. Believe me, we’ve talked a lot about why he’s still married when it’s very obvious, she has no interest in working it out. He says hope is part of it. Also he knows how I feel about him being married, this isn’t my first experience with a married person. The last relationship I was in that lasted 13 years and ended over 2 yrs ago was with someone that was separated when we got together. She was in NC and he was in my state, Fl. He’s actually someone I’ve known since we were teenagers but lost contact with after high school. Anyway, he divorced within a couple months after we got together but it was still not the best choice I could’ve made. I’ve learned from that experience so I can’t see myself repeating it again . We could have a fling at the most but our friendship means more to me than sex.

Hello,

I returned from this trip about a week ago and I felt it went pretty well. I was actually surprised at how comfortable I felt around him and he was very sweet even picking me and my daughter up from the airport and going with us to the city everyday as well as paying for things. He’s been trying to fill a spot on his team at work and I told him I would think about applying but after looking at the benefits in comparison to what I’m getting now, it doesn’t make any sense for me to change jobs. I’ve been with the same company for 8 yrs , I would basically be starting all over again so I turned him down. We were texting last night and I asked him what he thought of meeting in person, he never replied. I asked then he told me someone else had turned the job down but never answered my question. I find it hard to believe he didn’t see my text. Is it safe to assume his experience was negative? It’s funny because he called me the night we came back home mostly talking about the job and I asked if the reason he was being so nice to me was because he wanted me to work for him, he laughed and said no. I just think avoiding the question is very strange.

Thanks!

I understand it feeling strange. Maybe it's too soon to jump to conclusions but... maybe it's not.

Glad you had a good time, though Did the romantic elements develop the way you were hoping?

I also understand weighing benefits accumulated. Smart employers use that effectively for retention. I love it where I am, but it would also take a (likely unattainable) WHOLE LOT to get me to switch. Counting guaranteed bonus, I get paid 13 months of the year and (with the various kinds of time off) only work about nine and a half months for it. I'm pretty sure I can't replicate that anywhere as a new hire.

Keep us posted on where the relationship goes. It does sound like he's being evasive (but that could be in the way you're reporting it - you're in a much better place to get the vibe than I am). I suppose he could have been looking forward to getting a gigantic referral bonus for landing a top-notch new employee.

No, nothing romantic happened. We were only there for 5 days and my daughter was with me. My daughter is an adult so it wouldn’t have been inappropriate but again he is married even if separated for years now. I just didn’t think it would be wise to allow for anything like that to happen our first time meeting. Your job sounds great! From what I can tell, the only benefit to switching companies for me would be working with him and even though I enjoy working with him, it isn’t enough. Maybe you’re right, he was hoping for a referral bonus. I’ll keep you posted.
Thanks