Lance: Chart Discussion

[Lance]

Name on forum: Lance
Birth date: October 20, 1972
Birth time: 7:11 AM
Birth place: Beaumont, TX
Source: birth certificate

Current residence: Groves, TX
-----------------------------------------

I'm open to questions or comments on any part of my natal chart. At the moment, however, I've been a little overwhelmed by my progressed chart relative to my natal.

I'm a Sun in Libra, but a I have an afflicted Venus square (2°41') Saturn in my natal chart.

In my progressed chart, progressed Saturn has slowly been retrograding over my natal Venus for more than the last decade, becoming precise at the end of 2015, which was a really horrible time for me in ways keeping with the symbolism. Progressed Saturn will still be within a degree for another decade as it continues to retrograde - about 6 minutes a year.

I'm just kind of ...overwhelmed by the thought of that right now. My wife and I were definitely tested in our relationship. I'm very glad "exact" is past, and I am just hoping the worst is really over.

Any comments or words of wisdom?

[SteveS]

The most dominating tone/theme in your personal life is Sun & Uranus, a super great combo for discovering unique things—like astrology. I should know, I was born with a partile 90 of Sun-Uranus, and have been studying Astrology for 39 years. Your Sun is 03,12 cnj Asc, and mundo rising Uranus 05,06 cnj Asc.
Do you have any Sidereal Astrology books to study for the rest of your life?

I'm a Sun in Libra, but I have an afflicted Venus square (2°41') Saturn in my natal chart.

Yes, but the only time this will become a major problem, IF it came close to the angles of one of your SSRs (Solar Returns), imo, and then, IF it happened, it would depend greatly how your SSR set-up. Others may offer their opinion on this matter.

I'm just kind of ...overwhelmed by the thought of that right now. My wife and I were definitely tested in our relationship. I'm very glad "exact" is past, and I am just hoping the worst is really over.

Yes, but not involved with the angles now, but will become involved 2020-2023, along with p. Asc cnj p. Neptune & Natal Neptune. You need to look at your SSRs for these years to see any possible ‘themed’ symbolism.

[Jim Eshelman]

You definitely have my sympathy. My closest equivalent is that I had a progressed Venus-Saturn conjunction for several years, and those years were emotionally hard.

The single most distinctive feature of the time is that, twice in the period (different people), I came up to a situation where someone I cared about greatly, and to whom I felt both responsibility and devotion, deteriorated in health and capacity very rapidly. I had to deal with that part of it, and then with the issue of their future needs and my responsibility/devotion. In the first case (and a lesser extent the second case), I had to go through the process of deciding that their care needs would likely outweigh my continuing with things in my life that I felt gave contribution to the world and expressed my particular strengths. That seemed to be the internal shift the universe wanted me to make because, in both cases, once I'd the decision (and without having told anybody - it was all internal), the other person's family pulled them away to private care outside my geographic reach. In one sense, this was a new layer of loss to deal with; in another sense, it freed me from a responsibility I would have felt bound to regardless.

That aspect passed. Life changed. And, just this year, Venus (returning from retrogradation) has returned to conjoin Saturn within a degree, and is moving slowly enough that it probably will last the rest of my life. I'm not particularly looking forward to it, though I trust the universe to lead me where I need to go.

In your immediate future, the biggest transit is Uranus on your Descendant and opposite your Sun. Look these up in the Transits section. It probably will challenge your closest relationship, but in a much more positive, opening way more often than not; plus, with the transit to your Sun, you will be offered ways to change significantly, and that's your path through this. Watch the periods Saturn squares your Moon - they will be roughest, and will require good choices and sensitivity.

That's all I've got at the moment.

[SteveS]

Lance, what is the present health conditions of your mother/father? Do you have brothers/sisters who can care for an ailing mother/father? I know this: I had t. Neptune partile cnj my natal IC, off and on, for a couple years, and I had to care for my mother with some serious health issues. It marked some of the most confusing (Neptune) times in my entire life.

[Lance]

Thank you both. You've given me a lot to look at and think about/prepare for mentally.

Steve - Yeah, both parents are hitting 80 in a year's time. No, I don't have brothers or sisters to help. They're still okay at present, but I know that's coming.

[SteveS]

Steve - Yeah, both parents are hitting 80 in a year's time. No, I don't have brothers or sisters to help. They're still okay at present, but I know that's coming.

Ah, this tells me there is good probability you may have to care for one/both as a primary care giver, just as I had to do for my mother and her health issues. Later, I will try to look at your SSRs for this period in the future.

[SteveS]

Lance, below is your secondary progressed natal chart for Oct 20, 2020. Note the partile 180 p. Sun-Saturn, partile cnj your p. EP-WP axis (very important auxiliary angles). Note your natal Venus partile 90 p. Sun-Saturn, with natal Venus 1,25 cnj p. MC, a most potent p. angular planetary picture. This has higher than normal % for timing a year for crises pertaining to any type of love relationship. Also note p. Natal Asc partile cnj p. Neptune, a very potent angular influence. I wanted to post this chart so you could see the angular difference of p. Saturn 90 your n. Venus. It's our angular hits that time important incidents in our life. Next, I will post your 2022 SSR.

[Jim Eshelman]

It's our angular hits that time important incidents in our life. Next, I will post your 2022 SSR.

I agree on this point where secondary progressions are concerned only where the word "incident" is concerned, if by that word one means an event. I don't think the point of secondary progressions is events, though. It's psychological states and personal permanent psychological shifts. The aspects work when they're in orb and especially when they are quite close; angularity has nothing to do with it. This was the whole point of Fagan's original article, "The Incidents & Accidents of Astrology."

[SteveS]

Yes, main emphasis for secondary progressions--psychological shifts--not an event written in stone, its good to have you backing my wrong choice of words. I think his 2022 SSR is most revealing combined with his secondary progressions for 2022. I will post his 2022 SSR later for our comments, and anybody else who would like to comment with their opinions/sight.

[Lance]

Okay, thank you, but may I ask what the significance is?

I'm familiar with the SSR, and I'm familiar with Secondary Progressions. But what's the significance of a Progressed chart during my Solar Return? I haven't seen that yet. That's a thing too? Or does it just mean that my 2020 birthday is going to be particularly sucky?

[SteveS]

Whenever I see a secondary progressed chart lit-up with angular hits like your 2022 progressed chart, I always want to look at the SSR for that year to see if I see any same symbolism is in the progressed chart. Below is your 2022 SSR. This SSR foretells an 'outstanding incident' per Jim's SSR teachings. Saturn is partile cnj WP partile 90 Uranus, 'outstanding incident' is wrapped-up with Saturn-Uranus symbolism. WP speaks for 7th House symbolism, so, we see a double whammy of Saturn with p. WP in progressed chart, and Saturn WP with SSR. Note the partile cnj of Sun-Venus tight 90 Pluto, and SSR Pluto is tight cnj your natal IC, which means you will be receiving partile and exact hits of t. Pluto to your natal IC partile 90 your angular natal Sun. Transiting Pluto will be partile 90 SSR Venus-Sun for most of your solar year, thus, we see a strong Venus-Pluto symbolism since SSR Venus is partile cnj Sun. The progressed 2022 chart foretells strong psychological impulses with angular Sun/Saturn/EP/WP partile 90 Natal Venus.

Lance, I believe you said in a PM, you had never worked with the auxiliary angles of the EP/WP. If so, you can now see how the EP/WP angles work in charts. I hope I have helped in your learning curve with certain core principles for Sidereal Astrology. Yes, I would say your 2022 solar year will be 'particularly sucky', but your SSR Jupiter tight cnj natal Moon, which is locked in for entire solar year, so maybe not as sucky as the angular SSR Saturn symbolism is indicating.

[Lance]

Steve, forgive me, but I need to clarify for myself what you're doing.

The angles on a Progressed chart make a full 360° rotation during the course of the year, correct? So that would mean the fact that this Progressed chart has the oh-so-sucky angles on my birthday is just coincidental. Right?

I mean, yes, the period around my birthday seems like it will be very challenging, and yes, my SSR for that year seems totally not fun. But I am not aware of any technique that makes predictions for the coming year from the Progressed chart drawn for the date of the Solar Return. Is that what you're doing?

Bottom line: SSR is bad, and the bad may be timed right around my birthday. Right?

[Lance]

In related news. I spent the evening with the strong sense that my life may not be the same in the future - that I may end up alone again, as I was for so long before all this flurry of femininity in my life. I was never good at being alone. I mean... I could never be at peace with it. It always felt as if something was wrong. It made me want to kiss the wife longer and sit closer with my oldest girl.

The study of astrology so far seems really detrimental to my fantasy of life continuously becoming more pleasurable and prosperous.

[Jim Eshelman]

Life continuously changes. Without addressing your exact premonition (for which I haven't studied your chart thoroughly enough), I want to mention again what I think is the larger issue: Your current Uranus transits.

There is no question - no doubt! - that who you are now is different from who you will be next year, or in five years, or at any other point in the future. This is true in general, and especially true right now because of your multiple Uranus transits, especially the opposition to your Sun.

Remember:
1. Change is inevitable - we either take it in small doses over time (if we are open to change) or in large doses all at once (if we resist change until it becomes irresistible).
2. How you view/experience life now does not necessarily bear much relationship to how the person you will be in (say) five years views/experiences life, and you probably have to way of knowing what that will be. (You can't see the new perspective on the world until you are standing in the new lookout point).
3. The main point of all of this is to evolve you. Life will drive you toward certain internal change. You can makes these voluntarily on a purely psychological fashion, or events can "corner" you into making a new choice or adopting a new way of looking/thinking. I think the key to a happier life is to hear the universe when it whispers so that it doesn't have to eventually scream at you.

Right now, life should be exciting - opening new possibilities - exposing you to new realizations - most things looking so new that you think you haven't seen them before. Your biggest foe in this is the habit of looking at things the way you always have in the past, and wanting things to stay the same.

[SteveS]

Lance wrote and asked:

The angles on a Progressed chart make a full 360° rotation during the course of the year, correct?

For a daily quotidian chart, basically yes, 360 degrees rotation for the angles in a year. But the progressed chart I posted is the standard SA in Long Secondary Progressions, which are for seeing the timing of important life events. The angles for this progressed chart progress app. 1 degree per year, not one degree per day. You asked about the long-term p. Saturn partile 90 your Natal Venus, and I wanted to offer my opinions when this long term partile 90 progression may manifest as a life event ('outstanding incident'). As Jim pointed out, this long-term progression of p. Saturn 90 your Natal Venus, will be psychologically/emotionally stirring in your conscious as long as it is partile.
Lance wrote:

But I am not aware of any technique that makes predictions for the coming year from the Progressed chart drawn for the date of the Solar Return. Is that what you're doing?

Yes, this is what I am doing. I am looking into the future to see when there will be high % when your long-term p. Saturn partile 90 your Natal Venus could manifest as a Venus-Saturn life event ('outstanding incident'). For major life events/incidents, we need to see tight angular activity with the angles of our charts, and with the Progressed Chart I posted, I see a-lot of partile conjunctions to the p. angles, with partile aspects to other planets. Then to offer me additional timing information to collaborate this 'outstanding incident' angular Progressed Chart, I turn to the SSRs for possible collaboration. Your 2022 SSR indicates high % you will experience some type Saturn-West Point (angle)-- close relationship incident during your 2022 SSR. What type of event? I don’t exactly know. We do not experience many planetary partile hits to our progressed angles in a life time with the 1 degree per year movement of our p. angles. When they happen involving partile aspects to planets, they time ‘outstanding incidents’ in our life.

[Lance]

Jim: Thanks for the refocusing heads-up. I hear you. One of them is exact tomorrow.

Steve: Thank you for the in depth analysis of my Saturn/Venus life stuff. Sincerely.

[SteveS]

You are welcome Lance. Lots of core Sidereal Astrology in what I presented, and we truly learn Sidereal Astrology through our personal charts.

[Lance]

So transiting Uranus was recently square my natal Midheaven.

Both the 17th, when it was exact, and the 18th, I really felt anxious and frustrated, particularly as Uranus was on the angles. It was like a high-frequency energy in my body that had no way to escape.

Last night, the night of the 18th and early morning of the 19th, I couldn't sleep. I had to take some Benadryl and use a mental trick to try to "ground" myself. I finally got to sleep around 2 AM.

Today, the 19th, it feels as if it has passed. There were no energy/anxiety spikes.

It seemed strongest the day after transiting Uranus was exactly square my Midheaven.

It made me think about how Summer gets hot *after* the actual longest day of the year. It's no longer the peak of the exposure, but it's still strong, and the effect is cumulative.

It worries me because Uranus is not far from transiting opposite my natal Sun for about a total of 4 and a half months - passing, stopping, and then retrograding back over again without ever leaving a one degree orb.

How might you prepare? Take two pills again instead of one? lol. ...maybe.

[Jim Eshelman]

I find transits are operative in a broad, background way (showing the whole time of the particular transition you're going through) from the first time they enter partile until the last time they exit partile - even if they aren't partile for long gaps in between.

[Lance]

I don't at all disagree. I do tend to notice the energetic spikes though. I've been learning when I have to watch my mood and my mouth - not that I've been completely successful, but it helps.

[SteveS]

Lance wrote:

How might you prepare? Take two pills again instead of one? lol. ...maybe.

Yes, take two. Last night was a high anxiety night for me, and I took two Klopin (great for anxiety) instead of the normal one when I need to relax for sleep,--- slept like a baby for 6 hours vs my normal 3.

[Lance]

I find transits are operative in a broad, background way (showing the whole time of the particular transition you're going through) from the first time they enter partile until the last time they exit partile - even if they aren't partile for long gaps in between.

Wait. That just registered.

You're saying pull out the big chart because tUranus opposite nSun doesn't end really until early 2019.

And tUranus square nMidheaven until early 2018.

Hm. Mkay.

So the times, they are a changin'.

[SteveS]

Lance wrote:
So the times, they are a changin'.

A couple of weeks ago, a former business colleague asked me to look at her SSR. I asked her was times a 'changin'. She has worked in the State Department for years, and said Tillerson called a meeting and said after his staff reviewed mandatory questionnaires, a determination would be made for 300 out of 1000 employees to be placed around his immediate staff, said there would be major changes in the Department. Her 2017 SSR:

[Lance]

The tUranus partile opposite nSun started 5/27.

Unusual Events: My car air-conditioner gave up.

Usual Event's More Annoying That Usual: Getting caught in traffic behind slow drivers.

Mood: I feel held back in life, especially in terms of vocation. It's not like a Saturnian limited feeling. That feels more like a lead-filled blanket. This is more like pressure building against the limitation. It's a growing sense of frustration with what currently is.

[Jim Eshelman]

Thanks! Sounds quite on target! I'd say it's "need for more freedom, more room, more..." etc.

[TheScales_BothWays]

Thanks! Sounds quite on target! I'd say it's "need for more freedom, more room, more..." etc.

I strongly agree with Jim. Very to-the-point and expected-of Uranus-to-Sun transit effects you're having.

Your observations fairly remind me of how my younger sister reacted to the transit when Uranus squared her Gemini Sun. She was 15 and 16 then. (Plus she had the transit angular in her SSRs.) Being unable to do much in life (and nothing much happening to her, I believe) she felt limited quickly became bored of life in general. She wanted to do something new and exciting that refreshes her whole sense of life but yes as I said nothing much happened to her and she became very bored of life, and also fairly frustrated by feeling "limited".

I suppose it was because she didn't take much initiative to do something about it (her life) and was passive, expecting something to somehow happen instead.

I'm sharing this anecdote of my sister partly because she also has a Pisces Moon like you, Lance. (Not trying to suggest anything of Pisces Moons [nor anything of you yourself] here...)

P.S. Speaking of taking initiative and doing something, IIRC J.K. Rowling had Uranus opposite her Sun when she released her first Harry Potter novel. And of course it soon became a worldwide sensation and success, and now "Harry Potter" is a whole franchise of its own...

[Arena]

The tension and frustration will keep building up as Uranus keeps acting on your Sun and your angles until it leaves. Before it does that you will have found in your heart what you need to do to change, Uranus will demand changes in your life.
I've just recently gone through heavy Uranus and heavy Pluto symbolism and the pressure in my psyche was to change my life a lot, so I quit my job and moved to a new country.

[Lance]

Saturn opposite natal Saturn for Hurricane Harvey in Groves, TX. Haven't had time to look much deeper. You're welcome to post insights.

Almost a foot of water in the house. Many people are so much worse off. Starting to tear out the bottom two feet of sheetrock. We are dry at a relative's, with food, water, and power. Parents are in similar shape, but kind of stranded on an island of dry land. Highways are all blocked.

[Jim Eshelman]

That has to be tough - and I'm glad you're safe and well. Interesting that Saturn-Saturn (if that's all that's going on) is something of a shared event.

That's right, you're from Beaumont originally.

You missed the big "storm, water, and disorientation" one, though (or whatever similar words apply): Transiting Uranus is opposite your Sun within a degree, and there is a Uranus-Neptune semisquare in space... so that means you also have transiting Neptune sesquisquare your Sun (exact to the minute today).

[Jupiter Sets at Dawn]

I didn't realize you were right there at Port Arthur. Glad you're safe! (With that Neptune influence, get a tetanus shot.)

[Lance]

Man, this sucks. I feel like I'm about to lose my damned mind.

The father-in-law is staying with me in our gutted house. The girls are all in a camper in the driveway.

It's the horrible combination of needing his expertise (he was a construction contractor for years) but not being able to stand the constant need for everything to be decided and done right now, now, now. I need time to rest and think and...

Anyway... This combination of planets is no fun.

[Jim Eshelman]

Sympathy

[Lance]

Thanks. I'll try to give a more detailed description of the feel of all of it a little later. I just... it's for real. You know?

[Lance]

Okay, so...

Uranus opposite (0°0') natal Sun
Saturn opposite (0°34') natal Saturn

It comes in waves, like being on the verge of an anxiety attack. I say on the verge because I know people who have real panic attacks, and it's not that extreme. But... tight shoulders, tight upper spine and chest. Sometimes, occasionally, it moves down into my stomach instead, but mostly it's in the upper torso.

I notice it come sort of out of the blue around this part of the day when Uranus is on the IC. The rest of the time, there are other things happening that I could blame it on, but the mid-afternoon wave just seems to be purely astrological to me.

I already take a mild sedative. I've doubled up on it these days to help deal with the stress of the hurricane destruction and the constant presence of extended family. I think it would be way worse without the medication, or I would have to go on some now if I wasn't already on some.

"Crawling out of my skin.." "climbing the walls..." Those expression keep coming to mind.

Regarding external events, I can't escape the Martian energy. As a Libra, I mean... I recognize the value, the necessity of them in my life right now. We are getting things DONE. But at the same time, I feel smothered by it, forced into decisions too quickly by it, forced to be firm with it when I want to say "no!" There's a sort of twisted Saturnian lesson here about really needing something I can barely stand.

[TheScales_BothWays]

My sympathies too for your current crisis.

Perhaps this Saturn half-return is trying to teach you to handle crises/turning points better (as is theoretically associated with planetary half-returns in general). The ability to make the best decisions decisions in the shortest amount of time during times of disaster and emergency is crucial, especially to authorities like the government, police, the army and of course, and even to paramedics and first-aiders. Sometimes delaying actions does worse things than the unfavourable event itself.

But I do understand that have you been overwhelmed by the hurricane, the damage done to your house and how it affected you, and that some rest and time to let things sink in would definitely help you a lot. It's not like I'm a very good and quick decision maker myself. I hope everything ends well and life goes on normally to you soon.

[Lance]

Yeah. All that.

Need it. Need even the uncomfortable bits.

Also need to set appropriate boundaries.

Tricky. Stressful.

[TheScales_BothWays]

Sorry

[Lance]

Good news though.

We finally heard back from the concrete guy. He can't come for a little over a week. That finally sets a schedule for us, taking off some pressure. Father-in-law went home for a week. Tension is lightening.

Whew...

[Lance]

First, an update: We've remodeled the house. We moved fully back in about a month ago. It looks awesome - feels like a new house. The kitchen wall is gone; it's all open now with a counter where the wall used to be. Also, we now have a dish-washing machine! It was an older house. Also, we discovered that the walls had no insulation, and we corrected that as well. It's so much warmer on a cold night - you just don't notice that cold, and that's a huge difference. True renovation. Truly pleased. We've still got a lot of little stuff to do, but we're settled in again.

Astrologically: Today, transiting Saturn goes precise in a square to my natal Moon. I'm still a little nervous about it, but I feel like I've identified the occasional mood associated with it. It's an irritability and impatience. It feels kind of electric, high intensity or high frequency. It's kind of like buzzing with impatience. It's not constant. I just occasionally notice it. There have also been moments of being hit with a bunch of depressing thoughts at once. Having a label and a time frame for it makes it easier to be mindful and ride it out.

I'm hoping there's no external event coming, and I'm wondering if the effect has been lessened by other transits. Specifically, I also have transiting Jupiter sequisquare my natal Moon.

[Jim Eshelman]

I suspect the Jupiter and Saturn tug will be a back and forth, some of the tension you mention, some uncertainty. Based on what you've said, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Congrats on the "new" house!

[Lance]

Current Transits, all within a degree:

t. Uranus opposite n. Ascendant
t. Neptune sesquisquare n. Sun
t. Pluto square n. Uranus
t. Pluto semisquare n. Neptune
t. Saturn square n. Pluto
t. Saturn conjunct n. Jupiter

And it's just too much for me to parse all together. I can tell you that I feel very frustrated with whether or not I'm living true to myself - expressing my true self. I feel like... I know that in the past, I've been over the top in self-expression, with my own point of view on blast. It didn't get me what I want, and I've made some definite changes which have calmed and silenced me. But I think I've maybe gone too far in the other direction. At least, that's what I'm feeling right now.

It has me looking at my 5th Harmonic chart (below), and I'm sitting here wondering... Am I only going to be happy as some kind of obnoxious dreamer rebel? I feel two impulses. The first is the dreamer rebel, but... I feel like life has chastised me again and again to the point where I'm more of a "Just let them be. It is what it is. You can't change it. It's not your business. It's not your life. It's not your path. Let them all be what they are. Let it all be what it is. Just be silent and do your own thing."

But I'm worried I've lost my own thing, or shut it up.

Anyway. Any interpretive insights to help with my thoughts under these transits would be welcome. Am I reading it wrong? Is another form of expression possible? Or do I just need to say f-it, and be the crazy guy?

[Jim Eshelman]

t. Uranus opposite n. Ascendant
t. Neptune sesquisquare n. Sun
t. Pluto square n. Uranus
t. Pluto semisquare n. Neptune
t. Saturn square n. Pluto
t. Saturn conjunct n. Jupiter

It's little wonder you're feeling fragmented, because this is a very fragmented picture. Half of these transits openly show (to put it simply) that things are changing in a big way - the pieces are rearranging, or the whole matrix holding the pieces needs to shift (actual transformation). At least the Saturn transits aren't so much the "hold on tight to what you've got" sort that make dramatic shifts even harder - though Saturn to Jupiter does usually give enough a sense of pending loss that it kicks in the "hold on" and "keep my security" circuits a bit. (But Saturn to Pluto is a bit more like "shove it!")

I would worry about you if you felt things were under control and going along acceptably right now. Get this: It is healthy and real to have no confidence in how things will turn out when, in fact, you currently have no idea how things will turn out. Whatever comes next is... not just something different, but something that doesn't fit into you currently composed universe.

And at the heart of it is Neptune's transit to your Sun. This probably explains and centers things better than any other aspect in the set. It's worth taking time to understand how this aspect works and that, what seems like a malefic effect that may be grossly uncomfortable to you, is in fact the one real blessing of the aspect.

Neptune dissolves. Sun represents our sense of identity and direction or purpose. Sun is ego. Neptune is egoless.

The developmental purpose of Neptune's transit to your Sun is to dissolve your current sense of who you are and what your life is about. (That's happening, right?) But it doesn't, by itself, bring anything new. It just dissolves the old sense. It leaves you having little real sense of who you are as a distinct, specific human being. It leaves you having no sense of what you're supposed to be doing.

Consider this a banishing before a new consecration. It makes the way for something new to grow, something that couldn't come from "rearranging the pieces," but only from letting the "old something" wither and die on the vine so that something new arises thereafter - something more innate to your own nature.

Neptune first entered partile orb of your Sun in May 2016. It will leave in December 2018. That's the 31 months of your disintegration. (And seriously, this is a good thing - especially for the goals you have declared for yourself.)

...I'm sitting here wondering... Am I only going to be happy as some kind of obnoxious dreamer rebel?

I don't know that that's the case, but... if so, what would be wrong with that? (I don't ask that naively. I ask it to stir your own reflection of trade-offs, a costs and benefits analysis, so to speak.) FWIW, every time I open your chart I'm surprised you're not an Aquarius - I keep forgetting that you aren't. That could just be me, of course, but I thought I'd mention it.

I feel two impulses. The first is the dreamer rebel, but... I feel like life has chastised me again and again to the point where I'm more of a "Just let them be. It is what it is. You can't change it. It's not your business. It's not your life. It's not your path. Let them all be what they are. Let it all be what it is. Just be silent and do your own thing."

You will certainly approach your own center differently after the current transits than you did before the current transits.

Though I don't know that this is your path, I suppose I should remind you that there is no being a messiah without people denying you, people betraying you, and a crucifixion. The crucifixion is part of the service. The key is that one has to not be into the drama of it per se. It's just the final scene and the curtain call.

But I'm worried I've lost my own thing, or shut it up.

Then blessed is the Neptune transit to Sun that uncovers it, and the Uranus and Pluto transits that blow out the old pipes.

As you already know, it's your life... so take this all as an outsider's observations.

[Jim Eshelman]

BTW, your question above was posed January 19, 2019, 9:43 AM, Groves, TX. Not only had Neptune risen over the last half hour (when you surely were thinking about the subject and composing the letter) but, at the time of posting, your Saturn was almost exactly on IC, square your Venus near Descendant, and your Moon not terribly far from rising. It seems, from the chart, a bleak and heart-felt moment. Here are the angularities:

t Neptune 1°55' past Asc
r Saturn 0°51' past IC
r Venus 1°47' before Dsc
r Moon 3°49'' before Asc

This means that, in addition to the above, you "momentarily" (while composing and posting your letter) had a mundane transit of Neptune to natal Saturn nearly partile (1°04'). I suspect all of this describes the emotions rather accurately.

I started to write this up as a horary analysis, and stopped - it just kept looping repetitively in circles on the same themes already discussed above, and concentrated in the idea that the question came from Neptune rising in Aquarius, etc. For example, there are almost no applying aspects, the main one being Mercury-Neptune. So I don't think a hororary breakdow would serve you.

But I did appreciate seeing the transiting and natal planets at the time of the question, and their relationship when you clicked the Submit button.

[SteveS]

Jim wrote:

And at the heart of it is Neptune's transit to your Sun.

Lance, in my work, I do pay attention to partile trine aspects in return charts, only when one of the planets is tight cnj an angle. In the first link below, note, your SSR Moon (very important) is within 2 degrees of the West Point, partile trine SSR Neptune, which says the main ‘theme’ for your 2017 solar year is Moon-Neptune.
In the second link is your Primary Progressed Natal. Note: Your secondary progressed Moon at 06,33 Scorpio. Our secondary progressed Moons progress app 1.1 degree per month, meaning in the next 4 months your (all important) secondary progressed Natal Moon will exact cnj your Primary progressed Asc, Natal Neptune, & Progressed Neptune. So, its OK to feel like you may be dissolving away, but understand its only a part time cycle that is doing this to your mind/soul. Maybe try to escape (Neptune) to things of interest. If you like good movies/Netflix TV series, I can recommend some good ones. Try to get around large bodies of water if possible and reflect on your astrology, may help.

1: https://imgur.com/a/9b53k

2: https://imgur.com/a/zqu7j

[Lance]

Thank you both sincerely.

[SteveS]

[Lance]

These transits haven't been super-fun. About a week ago, I had to up my medication because I was starting to get stuck in angry mode.

Nagging thoughts, nagging religious/spiritual questions, the desire to make a decision and be done with it all for good. But it just won't go away. Insomnia with nagging thoughts. Missed work. Libra isn't happy with forced choice. Must get above the question. Must find my own answer/reject all outside objections.

Recently, there has been some resolution, but I keep having to retrace my mental steps to get there again - an ingrained way of thinking that I keep having consciously to alter.

[SteveS]

Hi Lance, this probably will not help much, but the only transits I see that is probably manifesting your psychological feelings is t. Uranus partile cnj your Dsc. Ebertin says:

Unrest, the tendency to scatter ones energies, nervous haste, upsetting experiences.

And then t. Pluto partile 90 your Natal Uranus:

Impatience, the enforcement of decisions.

I may be wrong but I think these major outer planet transits are pounding on you to make some kind of major changes, but sometimes we simple can't make major changes with our life. Are you having to make decisions you do not want to make? Are important decisions being forced on you by others? Maybe try to travel somewhere you have never been, taking in new (Uranus) sights/things, anything which is a new healthful change to get out/away from regular routines. Is there something important in your immediate environment which you know needs to changed under your control-- but you have been avoiding? Ask yourself what can I do to make a major change positive for myself, but practical. Maybe try some type of new focused exercise discipline which could not hurt you getting better sleep. These are long (weeks) transits but know things will start getting better when they start separating from partile 1 degree orb or less.

[Lance]

Nothing in my transits.

In my SLR there are foreground Neptune MC and Mars Descendant.

But man... Is there some reason that it would pick up over the last week? Injuries, home repairs, worries... wtf?

[Jim Eshelman]

But man... Is there some reason that it would pick up over the last week? Injuries, home repairs, worries... wtf?

Perhaps an SLR with foreground Neptune MC and Mars Descendant?