Freya's 2020 SSR

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Mon Mar 02, 2020 12:30 pm

If everything goes well, I will give birth around November 11
Had to look at my SSR which kicks in on July 6.... much to my dismay I don't see it indicating any birth, actually I see that it is a malific SSR with an afflicted moon and saturn foreground. Jupiter is partile conjunct pluto as a redeeming feature, but I am not sure whether it will be enough to override Saturn foreground

It is very different from the current SSR with Juiter, Uranus and Venus, pointing to pregnancy with the aid of technology (IVF)

Is this pregnancy too doomed to fail? Or maybe does it point to a very hard first year after the baby's birth?

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Mon Mar 02, 2020 3:44 pm

Freya, for a birth I would look to your SLRs and aspects to your Natal Moon which is always partile 90 your Natal Venus. Please note your current SLR Oct 16 2020 link below for the expectant date around (Nov 11 2020) for the delivery of your baby. Note your SLR Moon partile 180 SLR Mars, tightly 90 SLR Jupiter. Ebertin says for Moon/Mars=Jupiter:

The love of truth, openness, honesty, justice, A successful woman, the bride, the happy and expectant mother.

Also for mental excitement notice SLR Mercury tight 180 SLR Uranus on the Zenith/Nadir axis.
May I offer you early congratulations?

Freya's Oct 16 SLR:
https://imgur.com/SUpLI2d

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Tue Mar 03, 2020 1:17 am

I really hope so Steve! I am a firm believer in sidereal astrology, it will be a kick in the teeth if the symbolism doesn’t match the events... I am waiting for the results of my second blood test to see if my pregnancy is viable... let’s hope the SLR is right!!!

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Fri Mar 06, 2020 10:28 am

Unfortunately it looks like nothing short of a miracle can save this pregnancy. I will know on Monday but I have been told to prepare for the worst, they may induce a miscarriage on Monday

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Fri Mar 06, 2020 10:46 am

Freya wrote: Fri Mar 06, 2020 10:28 am Unfortunately it looks like nothing short of a miracle can save this pregnancy. I will know on Monday but I have been told to prepare for the worst, they may induce a miscarriage on Monday

No, not the worse. ("The worse" is that you die, and I don't think they're saying that at all.) But it's the thing the feels to you like the worse right now.

You're in all our thoughts. Hang in there. Try to meditate and find some peace. I know it's easy to obsess over what's going on but, frankly, that added high stress level reduces your chances of your body to pull out a miracle. Watch your breath. Put your attention on something interesting and pleasant that will hold it most of the time.

Saturn is opposing your Mercury: It's your mind that is the challenge most of all.

Jupiter is opposite your Venus EXACTLY right now. I'm not going to be naïve and say all will be fine, but this transit is more consistent with Venus pleasing you than with Venus not pleasing you.

Fri Mar 06, 2020 11:31 am

One more thing.... you don't have to "prepare" yourself for losing this pregnancy. All that is is negative thoughts and piling stress on to yourself.
Stop. Think about other things.

I

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Sat Mar 07, 2020 2:48 am

Jim Eshelman wrote: Fri Mar 06, 2020 10:46 am
Saturn is opposing your Mercury: It's your mind that is the challenge most of all.

Jupiter is opposite your Venus EXACTLY right now. I'm not going to be naïve and say all will be fine, but this transit is more consistent with Venus pleasing you than with Venus not pleasing you.

Thank you so so much Jim for this. I will keep this in mind hoping that my body pulls out a miracle. Although it is difficult not to think about it, I have planned the day out with a friend who knows nothing about this... this was deliberate on my part so there is no way that she can start talking about my greatest worry.

I cannot thank you enough for lifting my spirits

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Mon Mar 09, 2020 6:39 am

I have lost the pregnancy much against jupiter venus. I am devastated

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Mon Mar 09, 2020 7:11 am

Freya wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 6:39 am I have lost the pregnancy much against jupiter venus. I am devastated

Freya, I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you today.

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Mon Mar 09, 2020 7:21 am

The saturn pluto foreground were stronger than jupiter if only I had spotted this I wouldn’t have gone for the transfer last month

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Mon Mar 09, 2020 7:30 am

Freya wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 7:21 am The saturn pluto foreground were stronger than jupiter if only I had spotted this I wouldn’t have gone for the transfer last month

Jupiter was less than 1° the angle, while Saturn and Pluto were quite a bit wider.

The exactly angular Jupiter is opposite your natal Venus, which is rising.

I'm sure, when the time comes, we'll find the astrological patterns for this, but I've spent the last 10 minutes reviewing the primary charts and I frankly don't see it. (Even your quarti-SLR, which I normally ignore, also had Jupiter exactly setting opposite your Venus, though it added a Sun-Neptune conjunction at MC that could have been excitement from all sorts of things good or bad.)

I'm sorry we weren't able to counsel you better. I'm completely clear that you are having one of the worst days of your life, but the charts all show a day of bountiful, successful, happy Venus. (Even the quotidians all emphasize your Venus today, with no afflictions to it.)

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Mon Mar 09, 2020 8:56 am

Thank you for looking Jim. This really really hurts more than I could ever imagine. I had faith that if I timed it right astrologically, it would be ok. My next ssr doesn’t look good but at this point I don’t believe that positive transits manifest in my life. I feel that I am doomed to suffer no matter what I do. Maybe Sedna has something to do with this. I am not sure how to see this. I am sorry I am not expressing myself very well but I am sobbing as I write and can’t stop crying

Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:25 am

You don't need to be coherent right now. You also don't need to try to start planning.
Sit with your grief.

Transiting Mars is opposing your Natal Sun today. You are, and you should be, angry. You spent a lot of money and time and emotion, and you got nothing in return.

I'm so sorry.

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Mon Mar 09, 2020 10:02 am

I am very very angry too. I feel mocked by life

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:34 am

Just to make the day even worse, the clinic said that I can have one chance with donor sperm. If that doesn’t work the issue is with my egg quality. My husband has now threatened divorce and won’t help me fund another cycle. So I have to raise the money myself. I also need a hysteroscopy before any further attempts which I have to fund privately. This is going so bad that I don’t feel how Jupiter can manifest. In the next few days I will miscarry as I have now stopped the hormones which were keeping it going. I feel as if there is no way out and my dream of being a mum has been crushed

Mon Mar 09, 2020 12:28 pm

Wow. You have a bunch of insensitive, unsupportive jerks arrayed around you.
You have my permission to tell them I said so.

What is this crap about now you have to try with donor sperm so they can figure out if your husband's sperm is the problem? Are they going to pay to raise and educate any child that might result? Because I would be very surprised if your husband would. There are other ways for them to figure that out that are much easier on you and your husband and your marriage. That proposal is so disrespectful!

You have my permission to tell them I said so.

People need to just shut up for the next week. That's 7 days. Let what you're going through now happen and then some time to get past the initial shattering grief.

You also need to stop asking questions. You know what you need to know for now.

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:04 pm

I don’t say this lightly but I hope the next SSR has a symbolisms consistent with me cheuout of this world. I feel that I don’t want to go on anymo. I genuinely want to die. I have nothing to live for anymore I cannot imagine being around for the bext 40 years. I want out. I can’t bear tge pain this time

Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:37 pm

You just went through hormone regime that brings most women down, you were taking other hormones you've pretty much stopped cold turkey instead of tapering off, and you've been through a horrendous situation with almost no support from your family or your medical team.

Of course you're depressed. If it persists, even another 24 hours, get some medical help because depression is a medical condition, not all in your head. Tell somebody. Not the jerks who haven't been supporting you as they should have, but a different doctor who cares about the person inside rather than just the vehicle for their expertise.

This pregnancy, no matter how much you wanted it, is not the only thing in your life, and certainly wouldn't have been your only accomplishment.

If you left us, I would miss you Freya. Please don't do anything in the depths of this. Please give yourself time, let your body heal.

Arena · Post by **Arena** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 3:19 am

I'm sorry and empathetic to how you feel dear Freya. I know it must be a difficult time for you, and especially so when you feel that you don't have support from your husband. It is really too bad that he is not able to know that you need his love, support and nurturing during this time. Do you have a good friend that you could possibly take a week off with, somewhere in a new place? Just to get away from it all and have loving support with you.

Sometimes when I feel really really down it helps me to look into astrology to see if there are better times ahead. I looked into your solar arcs and I see that you now have your Mer-Pluto aspect partile your natal angles. You also have the d. Moon coming to your IC soon. It is within 3° from the angle and I can see in my chart that the luminaries are indeed very potent a few degrees before and after touching the angles in the solar arcs. This might be why you've started this process of becoming a mother. But you have Pluto very strong now. The Moon will be within 1° from your n. IC in August next year. I know it may sound like a long time now, but one year can really fly by fast. That may be astrologically a more likely time for you to become a mother for the first time, when the d. Moon is within a degree from your n. angle.

Even though you now have Jupiter strong for this process, t. Saturn is also predicting a huge loss while it is now partile squaring your n. Pluto (and it will do so again in June-July and again in Dec. Yes, Jupiter is indeed square your Moon now and opposite your Venus, but so is t. Pluto. This will be followed by Uranus opposing your n. Saturn and t. Saturn square n. Saturn next year. Maybe the Pluto and Saturn energies are a part of a rebirth cycle for yourself. Maybe there will be a heavy, hard, but in the end a really really good change for you coming out of all of this. I really hope my words don't come out wrong because they are really meant to be good to you, I'm trying to perhaps bring some kind of hope into your dark hour. Maybe your life/soul is waiting for this rebirth or those difficult energies to pass to then bring a child to you when the d. Moon touches your n. angle and t. Jupiter touches your n. DSC. Look at your transits for May-July 2021 and then followed by the d. Moon touching your IC within 1° in the end of July 2021. I believe that can be you becoming a mother after your trials and tribulations.

Veronica · Post by **Veronica** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 3:36 am

Oh no no no no.......
My little Love Freya
How the world would be so empty without you.......
Im so sad hearing of your suffering and pain and lack of support. I wish I had the words and knew what to say....
We all love you
Just as you are
Your perfect and whole and amazing and wonderful and you always have been....
Please Listen to JSAD and take her words to heart.
Drink deep....lots of fresh water...lots of fresh air.

Let your feelings flow out...go break some sticks or throw rocks at trees and scream.
You are so brave and so strong, I could have never handled the proceedures and processes you went through. You amaze me.
Please rest and take all the time you need.
We are here for you.

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 4:13 am

Beautiful words V. Please Freya, take V's words to your heart.

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 6:36 am

THANK YOU all guys for offering me your words of support right now. It's a lot more than I have been receiving at home. My mother for example has not even texted me to see how I am doing today. I do notice her sending coronavirus jokes on the whatsapp family group that I am in, but not even a word to check how I am doing. There is a really f---- up dynamic between my chart and hers, borderline malevlolent which could explain why she has never supported me in my journey to motherhood.

Arena, thank you for looking into my chart. Summer 2021 is actually a bad time for several reasons

1. I will be 37. My odds of a live birth rate at 37 are less than 20%. I have a diminished ovarian reserve now at 35, so waiting until then I believe it is medically unwise. The doctor told me yesterday that I may have an egg issue cropping up now at 35, at 37 I probably wouldn't have a chance with my own eggs. My wish is to have a baby that is biologically mine

2. Prudently, I purchased the two cycle package in January, which gives the second attempt half off. If I don't use it by January 2021 I would lose that money. I now need to raise money for drugs, flights and accommodation which I cannot afford unless I take out another loan, but to fund another cycle in full would be impossible for me at this stage

3. I am employed as a trainee lawyer on a (nearly, few cents above) minimum wage on a fix term contract which expires in November 2021 when I fully qualify. No one is going to employ me pregnant (even though they can't do that they find other ways of finding people unsuitable for the role) and I won't get paid maternity leave either on a new employment.

So summer 2021 may be a great time astrologically but as a matter of fact it is a lot riskier. I would be gambling with my fertility if I waited that long.

My next cycle will have to be before January 2021, Ideally whilst still 35 or as close to the first half of 36 as possible. I started this journey in March 2019 when I was 34, and has failed me 3 times, 2 ivf and 1 IUI.

The symbolism was positive enough for me to get pregnant this year but I see that the bad transits have trumped the positive ones which seem not to manifest in my life as accurately as the malefic ones.

Does this mean that I am doomed to miscarry over and over until summer 2021?

Tue Mar 10, 2020 6:59 am

Freya wrote: Tue Mar 10, 2020 6:36 am Does this mean that I am doomed to miscarry over and over until summer 2021?

Since nobody here could answer that question accurately for you last time, I think you might want to take any answers here with a grain of salt.

Look at your transits FIRST. Forget solar arc progressions, Solars, and so on. People here don't know enough to answer your questions.

I think it's time to do some studies of pregnancy. Maybe set up a section with accurate birthdata of mothers and their children. Timed charts. Don't need names. Fathers too. Once we have a few hundred data points, we can start drawing some conclusions. Not from anecdotes. From actual data. We can also collect data of incomplete pregnancies. If we ever get enough, we can maybe do a study of that too.

Most Siderealists are and have been men, and this stuff hasn't been of much interest to them. Maybe it's time to change that.

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 7:12 am

That's a really good idea. I will do that now as it gives me motivation to still believe in astrology

I do wonder whether personal karma cannot be overcome regardless of positive transits. That's what my friend tole me. That it was karmic regardless of when I did this.

One thing I know for sure, I have to try before my second cycle package runs out, and ideally on the good side of 36, preferably whilst I am still 35

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 7:22 am

Freya, please don't take this the wrong way, but I have forgotten the source you gave in a post a long time ago for your timed birth of 9:55 AM CEDT??

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 7:25 am

Hi Steve

I was born in Florence, Italy at 9.55 am on July 6 1984. The 9.55 am is written on my birth certificate, although my mother swears she remebers it was 9.50 when she looked at the clock

THANK YOU for helping me

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 7:42 am

Freya wrote:

THANK YOU for helping me.

Thank you for stating this Freya--I had a heavy heart that my natural rising Jupiter optimism made matters worst for you psychologically in this terrible situation. You know we are all pulling for you with our hearts so please don't give-up on us.

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 7:46 am

I am grateful for all you have done, regardless. I have clung on that little bit of hope which has helped me through last weekend, which was an excruciating wait for me. It turned out to be just hope but at least it has helped me through.

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 9:32 am

Jim Eshelman wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 7:30 am

The exactly angular Jupiter is opposite your natal Venus, which is rising.

OH MY GOD JIM..... An aquaintance (for me, but he's a friend of my husband) has offered to wire the money I need today to try again. This means I can try again whislt I am still 35. I feel so relieved and a weird sort of happy right now. I haven't forgotten the pain, that's not what I mean, but someone has just opened a door for me that I thought would be shut for months

Post by **Jim Eshelman** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 9:38 am

Tue Mar 10, 2020 12:13 pm

Now that's a Jupiter influence. Pregnancy, in my opinion, with only Bradley to work from, is a Venus thing.

And Hurrah!

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 1:23 pm

Freya, I took a look for the first time at your Solar Arcs. May I have permission to speak freely about what I see with my Solar Arc opinions? It may help us all understand a system of astrology better for future astrologers.

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 1:31 pm

Yes please Steve I am trying to make sense of my loss

(Do you see a favourable time within the next 4 months?)

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 1:43 pm

Freya wrote:

Yes please Steve I am trying to make sense of my loss.

I will explain what I see in the Solar Arc thread.

Freya asked:

(Do you see a favourable time within the next 4 months?)

I see a very favorable SLR beginning Oct 16, but please Freya, take close counsel with what your doctors are saying. OK? Freya, I do understand correctly IVF works only 20% of the time, correct?

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 2:02 pm

Yes and even less when I cross the 36 threshold

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 2:39 pm

Freya wrote:

Yes and even less when I cross the 36 threshold

OK, i understand clearly now, using IVF you only have a 1 in 5 chance/probability for achieving a viable pregnancy. In the Solar Arc thread I am going to probe much deeper into your Natal Chart using Solar Arcs and Cosmobiology--Midpoints which may or may not offer you more understanding about the possible whys of not achieving a viable pregnancy, but please understand I/we may not have any final astrological solutions for your main objective in life to bear children. No matter what I write, you take with a grain of salt as not anything written in stone--OK? We as astrologers can only offer what we see which may possibly offer you better probabilities for achieving your objectives with IVF.

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 5:11 pm

Yes e do understand that and I thank you for doing this..

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Tue Mar 10, 2020 6:05 pm

The only thing I would like to point out is that my chances become significantly lower the further away I get ton35.ab6 month difference after 35 can be crucial as the viability of my eggs declinrs rapidly after that point. This time I let quite some time elapse between ivf cyclrs to make dure I was out of that ssturn moon venis transiy... from May tonJanusry. I have learned from this and I am not going to gamble my fertility that long again. I hope you understand this... I am very very scared to remain childless

SteveS · Post by **SteveS** » Wed Mar 11, 2020 7:59 am

I understand Freya. I could look at your future astrological cycles and probably see several possible benefic time frames, but I think you should just listen to your doctors and make your own individual decision for your next IVF.

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Wed Mar 11, 2020 8:22 am

Yes I understand Steve. Knowing the next astrological cycles will help in any event, and I will be able to make an informed decision
All I know so far is that I am not going to leave it as long as last time

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Sat Dec 05, 2020 1:08 pm

An odd manifestation of my current SSR moon-saturn theme has been to reunite with a long lost friend. After 11 years apart he resurfaced out of the blue, and we met last October in Florence, Italy. I cannot describe the feeling of seeing someone again after so long, and seeing that nothing had changed. It was wonderful. Quite an peculiar event for my current SSR symbolism