A Lonesome Road (Millard example)

[Jim Eshelman]

Mary, Sep 20, 1952, 7:45 PM, Portland, ME

I was first called to the house to see Mary in July 1970. She had eaten nothing but brown rice and one glass of water daily for eight days. Her urine was loaded with pus cells, and she was dizzy when she got out of bed. She had recently become engaged, and her husband-to-be was a vegetarian and a macrobiotic diet enthusiast. I warned Mary. Pluto was transiting her Sun in Virgo in the sixth house, she had just graduated from high school and was beginning to feel the pressures of Society. It was no time to play with her health.

She married and crossed the country to California, where she worked in a vegetarian restaurant. Things were rough, and in January 1972 when she became pregnant, she returned to Maine. Uranus had reached her Moon-Saturn conjunction in April 1972 when her favorite brother hanged himself in the woods, leaving a two-year-old son and a two-week-old daughter. I saw Mary at the wake. She is a very beautiful girl but looked haggard and drawn. Later she said that she had "completely flipped out" during her pregnancy. The hallucinations came during the day, and the frightening dreams at night. Devils were all around her. She felt they were following her. Psychiatric counselling did not seem to help. Her obstetrician urged her to eat more for the sake of the unborn child. She was living mostly on rice.

Tina was born in October 1972. Her husband was very supportive, but Mary did not want to be left with the baby because she could not stand the crying and feared that she would kill the child. In June 1972, she had a uterine suspension and her tubes were tied. The psychiatric counselling continued, and she left her husband and returned home again to her parents. Now she was afraid that she would kill herself, and the Valium that was prescribed only made her more depressed. Severe headache and blackout spells due to hypoglycemia were added to her other symptoms, and she was told that she had to eat eight meals every day.

Hypoglycemia indicates a disorder of insulin production and soon leads to diabetes when the pancreas becomes exhausted... I did not see much of Mary during 1974, but in 1975 I gave her a course of acupuncture treatment and this helped her to relax and sleep better. She had dyspareunia and ovarian pain intermittently, and her marriage finally came to an end. She put her daughter in a day care center, and started a course in recreation direction at a local college so that she could earn a living as a playground director.

...In May, Mary underwent fairly major surgery in her ovaries and tubes. A right ovarian cyst was discovered and there were adhesions from the former operation when her tubes were tied. Both tubes were thickened and had been infected at some time by pelvic inflammatory disease. Both were taken, and the right ovary was also removed. The adhesions were lysed.

...She does not feel that she is sane enough to have more [children], and the devils are still lurking...

[Jim Eshelman]

My analysis: We can take care of 80% of this with one aspect: Moon conjoins Saturn 1°28'. Her multiple and severe gynecological problems, her deep depressions, and even the misguided diet moves (eating only rice is not macrobiotic!) are all connected to this one important aspect.

But it's even worse: Though her Venus is foreground (2°12' from Dsc), it is horribly afflicted, conjunct Neptune 0°30'M on one side and Saturn 1°29'M on the other (midpoint 0°30'). And Venus is in her fall - the exact degree of her fall! A very difficult Venus life (in all its forms) was anticipated by the chart and, besides compromising her marriage, it reinforced Moon-Saturn (broadly Moon-Venus-Saturn-Neptune) in all the obvious ways.

The chart is interesting. I recommend you calculate it and study it on your own. There is so much about her not related to the medical problems directly, so I may not mention them - but it's quite an example chart. (And there are a lot of life details I left out.)

For one thing, she has six planets (including both luminaries) in Virgo in the 6th House. An old Sidereal perspective that I think was simply inherited from Tropical thinking is that Virgos are food-faddists and health extremists. Beginning with the fact that I don't find a trace of this in me (besides living in a time and place of increasing diet awareness and new science), I've never accepted this about Virgo, at least not about Virgo Suns. But then we come into a case like this one and, whoa, it's pretty extreme.

Mary's health-related factors are as follows:

• Sun is middleground and neutrally aspected, which would normally be taken as average vitality, though the 6H pile-up makes me question overall vitality.
• Moon is in Virgo, badly afflicted. (Virgo rules the feat, though psychiatric implications of these afflictions being in a Mercury constellation, and especially one related to fertility issues, needs to be considered.)
• Mars is in Scorpio, connected to the neck, throat, windpipe, etc.
• Moon-Saturn conj 1°26' (Virgo, foreground).
• Moon-Uranus sq 1°05' (foreground).
• Venus-Neptune conj. 1°08' (Virgo, closely foreground).
• Jupiter-Pluto sq 1°33' (middle-to-back).
• Saturn-Uranus sq 2°32' (foreground).
• Uranus-Neptune sq 2°33' (foreground).
• This means Ur = Sa/Ne 0°00'.
• Sun-Mercury conj 0°17'M (Virgo, middleground).
• Venus-Saturn conj 0°59' (Virgo, foreground).
• Saturn-Neptune conj 1°29' (Virgo, foreground).

Neptune is her most angular planet. Here are the PV longitudes of her 6H planets (with ecliptical longitudes in Virgo after) so you can see the tight patterns.

28°14' - Neptune - 26°29' Vir
27°43' - Venus - 27°38' Vir
26°45' - Saturn - 21°24' Vir
21°19' - Moon - 22°52' Vir
17°51' - Mercury - 0°40' Vir
17°35' - Sun - 3°51' Vir
9°30' - Pluto - 26°14' Can

Most of her hard aspects are foreground. This shows their overt effect, the impact on her marriage, motherhood, primary psychological state, etc. and, from these (especially since Moon is in the middle of it all) the fallout on her health and the obvious themes.

One thing worth mentioning, though, is that her afflicted Venus not only affected marriage and motherhood (and overall happiness), but provided her secondary health problem, the hypoglycemia that is a sugar metabolism destabilization. Fortunately, this got corrected with treatment (structured eating).

The foreground aspects are so dominant in this chart, and so expressive, do the background aspects give us the usual clues on health matters? They don't hit the obvious themes that severely afflicted Moon and Venus bring, but here's what they say (based on what I think these aspects usually mean for health):

• Jupiter-Pluto sq (middleground-to-background). Accelerated (possibly aberrant) cell growth. Dramatic impact of circumstances on digestion and assimilation. - This aspect hasn't been identified fad or extreme diets (is this something we've missed), but this basic Jupiter-Pluto meaning describes the seeming start of her problems.

Of the other foreground aspects, aside from the specific afflictions to Moon and Venus by Saturn and Neptune already addressed, what do we see?

• Moon-Uranus sq 1°05'. Irregular menstruation. Tension, emotional stress, nervous strain, disorientation (psychosis).
• Saturn-Uranus sq 2°32'. [Nothing obvious.]
• Uranus-Neptune sq 2°33'. Altered states of consciousness and unconsciousness. High-strung, easily agitated. Disturbances of the autonomic nervous system and the body’s electrical system in general.
• Thus, Ur = Sa/Ne 0°00'. "Irritability, excitability... peculiar inclinations. Illness caused through excitement or upsets, a weakness or illness manifesting suddenly." (Ebertin)
• Saturn-Neptune conj 1°29'. Chronic (often disabling) physical or psychological afflictions (dark, troubled states, depression; chronic pain or weakness, physical immobility, or other frailty).

All the way down to the demon-chasing of Saturn-Neptune. It's a great example (and most of the details Millard couldn't even see because of zodiac or mundane considerations).

[Venus_Daily]

I have a lot of synastry in common with this poor woman. Although I've never been married nor given birth, my life followed a similar trajectory. I remember being very young and having Pluto square my natal Sun. It put me down a path that nearly killed me, but I've learned to take control of the situation. I have a very loose Moon/Saturn sextile and Venus very afflicted in Virgo, so I don't know if this causes body dysmorphia. The entire overthinking of Virgo/Mercury vs the intuitive feeling/being of Pisces/Venus.

[Jim Eshelman]

I have a lot of synastry in common with this poor woman. Although I've never been married nor given birth, my life followed a similar trajectory. I remember being very young and having Pluto square my natal Sun. It put me down a path that nearly killed me, but I've learned to take control of the situation. I have a very loose Moon/Saturn sextile and Venus very afflicted in Virgo, so I don't know if this causes body dysmorphia. The entire overthinking of Virgo/Mercury vs the intuitive feeling/being of Pisces/Venus.

However, your Venus is not nearly in the bad shape of "Mary." You do have Venus in Virgo in common, but it's hard to call your Venus "very afflicted" when its one strong aspect is a close square with Jupiter. Besides its sign placement, your Venus has basically nothing in common with Mary's. (Your Venus-Neptune square is too wide to take seriously given the strong aspects you have in common. Your Venus is in the remote background and hers in the immediate foreground.)

I haven't noticed Venus in Virgo linking to BDD. A background Venus in fall is likely to at least be some sort of psychological sore point, though it's ultimately well aspected and the mundane square to Moon loops it into your psyche more strongly. The strongest observations about Venus in Virgo (which should be tipped positively in your case) are:

Conventional relationships based on honest affection and friendship. Can be smitten in an instant (strong fantasy or daydreaming when attracted). Demure (discloses interest slowly, may seem shy). Usually monogamous, devoted. Conscientious with responsibilities. Takes life seriously (play is not a priority). Delights in learning (learns easily). Service-minded, helpful.

[Venus_Daily]

Very insightful. I showed my therapist this description, and she said it's very descriptive of me.