Veronica

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Veronica
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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sun Mar 31, 2019 3:32 pm

My next year Solar return has transiting venus square my natal venus ( which is conjunct transiting moon, jupiter and widely pluto)

I noticed in the transit to transit section there are no mentions of venus to venus, or mars to mars or any transiting planet to its self in the natal chart.

Is that because it is just "more of the same plantary nature" and does not really bring anything else to the table?

Saturn/venus/pluto this year has been pretty much textbook so far (or should I say...not pretty and doesnt feel nice but I think Feb/ march was the worst of it and now its just a feeling in the background).

The angular Jupiter has brought great blessings that released some deep financial stress. Which is nice and I hope continues and I am working to maje that real.

Mercury/neptune.....hurts. Very much. My skin is not so tough. Im a dreamer at heart and believe in fairy tales.

But that angular Jupiter......restores my faith in Higher Powers and deeper meanings and connections and gives me the conviction to be true to what my heart says....and not my mind.

I am very much looking forward to Easter and all the magic that comes with that.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Apr 13, 2019 4:59 pm

The Saturn transit to my Venus (conjunct widely to Pluto) has been a difficult time for me.

Ive tried to grin n bear it.

Its felt like it has lessened up....as Saturn has moved on. I have been ....feeling better and having more happy moments.

In fact I was really thinking that my Solar Return....which has a conjunction of Saturn and Pluto and my natal Venus....wouldnt bring as much difficulty and challenges as I had originally felt it would. Espically these past few weeks when I had felt better in my mind and heart then I have in way to long.

And Im sure some of you know where I am going with this.

I looked ahead a few months at a time to watch the planets move like I like too....

And I saw it.
I saw how Saturn turns retrograde and moves back.

I know it wont last
And I know in a year it will really have moved on and left my beloved Venus field of play.

That boxer, who would get back in the ring....
Knowing he was going to possibly end up with califlower ears and a mangled face....
But he got back in the ring
Because he loved the fight

I know, in my own way
How he felt
And why hed do it

When a planet moves like that, and transits back and forth across a natal planet, how do you interpret that?
Like if i was looking at someones chart for the first time and saw that (ie a planet transiting a natal but moving forward and then retro and the forward again) would say....your in for a rollercoaster like expierence...?
It seems that the psychological implications are very deep.

Its like....
I used every single tool in my toolbox to help me get through that...and not turn into a jaded bitter hurt nasty person...to be better then the way I felt/perceived I was treated....
And i got through it.
And I was almost in the clear
And then the universe says
Lets see if you really remember what tools you used and how you overcame that challenge, have at it one more time.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Jim Eshelman » Sat Apr 13, 2019 7:16 pm

Veronica, I was thinking of you the last day or two... that you hadn't been here in an unusually long while... and was hoping you were doing well.
Veronica wrote:
Sat Apr 13, 2019 4:59 pm
When a planet moves like that, and transits back and forth across a natal planet, how do you interpret that?
Like if i was looking at someones chart for the first time and saw that (ie a planet transiting a natal but moving forward and then retro and the forward again) would say....your in for a rollercoaster like expierence...?
It seems that the psychological implications are very deep.
Life is like that... like a tide that ebbs and flows on some matter of experience or instruction. (Or perhaps our readiness for it ebbs and flows.) In terms of learning the lesson of transit, i.e., incorporating something new into ourselves, there usually need to be times for subconsciousness to assimilate and process what we've already gotten so that we come back to the next phase a little different.

In a practical way, I think of the duration of these long-term aspects as lasting uninterruptedly from the time they first go into a 1° orb until the time they last leave it. That entire time is a single lesson, a single phrase of transmutation. We go into it without certain traits or experience so we first get a taste of it, and then we're different when the lesson presents itself anew. (Sometimes it is longer than "first partile to last partile" because, if it falls near the angles of a lunar return, the transit "counts" if it's within, say, 5°orb.)

In your case, Saturn first entered 1° orb of conjunct your Venus January 25 this year, and it leaves for the last time November 12 of this year. You fit it all into less than 11 months. Along the way, it is exact three times, on February 3, August 6, and October 30.

Ah, but that February 3 one is the tricky one, potentially: That's close to your birthday. For a moment I thought this meant it was partile in your Solar Return, but it isn't. However, your Solar Return does have its own 0°39' Venus-Saturn conjunction. You finish your personal transmutation in the mysteries of Saturn to your Venus my November 12, but you still have Venus-Saturn events and circumstances in your life until your next birthday. But you encounter those as someone who has been through the process of transforming her relationship to the energy.

So yes, you have work to do on yourself this year (which makes it exactly like every other year you can remember, right?).

Welcome back.

PS - I have a progressed Venus-Saturn conjunction in partile orb 2017 to 2025.
Jim Eshelman
www.jeshelman.com

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Mon Apr 15, 2019 11:25 am

Jim wrote

"Veronica, I was thinking of you the last day or two... that you hadn't been here in an unusually long while... and was hoping you were doing well."

Smiles
Awe shucks, thats sweet to hear.
Even better to feel it.
And thats actually where I am right about now.
I think your the Bees Knees ya know;)
The pearls you drop.....
I string them alltogether
Keep em away from the swine
And when Im not doing as well as I think I can, I pull them out and look at how a simple grain of sand...mixed with the spit of a spineless mullusk...turns into a whole new world. Pearls of Wisdom indeed. I tell ya...you should write a book with all that...oh, wait...nevermind.

I have a little of a consuption issue (mars/mercury?)....in that...when I like something....anything....I kinda...overdoes on it. All my passions. I dive in so deep and hard. Somethings like gardening just make my body tired. Some things like singing make my voice tired. Somethings like math and science make my mind tired. And somethings like astrology and deep psychology (which IMHO there is no difference) makes my heart and soul tired.

Like a hangover

I felt like I had an astrology hangover and was so wrapped up in its implications that I was not able to relate to the people in my real life in any meaningful or positive way, like I was outa touch with the solid earth and its daily grind.

Last december right before the Holidays my coworker had a tragic event. He 40year old son who 4x times over the legal limit at 11am crashed his car. He crashed it into a womans car. A mother of three. Both cars burst into flames. She was burned alive. He survived but barely. He has a past history of dwi. Sucks. My co worker has pretty much been on a leave from work since then. They havnt hired anyone to fill her slot. Its been pretty much me alone running the Library, as my libraruan is off teaching all day. Its alot of work. Its a huge school.

Its been a funny thing though because through these kids I have learned alot and made some very unlikely friends. Its a strange thing to see who comes to the library and for what purpose. I have about 150 regulars...kids who I see everyday....and about 200 non regulars...those who come once in a great while.

Those kids who regularly come, they are a strange bunch. The outcasts the troublmakers, the brainyacks, the shy, the socialites......labels of course but they do fit.

I greet every single one of them, its my job. I talk to them. I get to know them and call them by name. Its imporant to learn there names. It gives them something. Something empowering and real.

The other day I was alone with about 30 kids and the speaker came on and it said
"This is a lock down. This is not a drill. Go to your desinated place."

Sooooo....
Yea.
Im supposed to be charge and keep these little babes alive if someobe goes columbine.

Its not a good feeling.
The kids really have no clue how crazy some people are and what bad things they will do with that crazy.

Put me in a bad mood for a couple of days. Mad as hell that I have to learn what to do in a school in case someone gets crazy.

I was in a car accident about a month ago. After about 6 major car break downs this past winter. Had just got new brake lines, was driving in the city and the suv infront stops abruptly. I stop. Right on his bumper. Barely missed. Then some chicka is flying down the road doesnt stop and smashes into me from vehibd so gard that we are forced under the Suv. Like my car nose shoveled it up and onto my hood so the bumper of tge suv is right at my windshield.

That scared me hard for quite sometime. I could barely drive. I would cry. I was so scared that at any minute some one could smash me and that be it
Id be dead. Then who would take care of my kids. It was hard moving through that fear.

But thats where my good ol scorpionic jupiter helps. Helps me untie those knots that bind and restrict and get to the source. Like JSAD said...even if Im dead The Goddess will still use me. Worm food at the very least.
Veronica wrote: ↑
When a planet moves like that, and transits back and forth across a natal planet, how do you interpret that?
Like if i was looking at someones chart for the first time and saw that (ie a planet transiting a natal but moving forward and then retro and the forward again) would say....your in for a rollercoaster like expierence...?
It seems that the psychological implications are very deep.
Jim said
"Life is like that... like a tide that ebbs and flows on some matter of experience or instruction. (Or perhaps our readiness for it ebbs and flows.) In terms of learning the lesson of transit, i.e., incorporating something new into ourselves, there usually need to be times for subconsciousness to assimilate and process what we've already gotten so that we come back to the next phase a little different."

That sounds like pearls being made.
Layers on layers.

Jim said
"In a practical way, I think of the duration of these long-term aspects as lasting uninterruptedly from the time they first go into a 1° orb until the time they last leave it. That entire time is a single lesson, a single phrase of transmutation. We go into it without certain traits or experience so we first get a taste of it, and then we're different when the lesson presents itself anew. (Sometimes it is longer than "first partile to last partile" because, if it falls near the angles of a lunar return, the transit "counts" if it's within, say, 5°orb.)

In your case, Saturn first entered 1° orb of conjunct your Venus January 25 this year, and it leaves for the last time November 12 of this year. You fit it all into less than 11 months. Along the way, it is exact three times, on February 3, August 6, and October 30.

Ah, but that February 3 one is the tricky one, potentially: That's close to your birthday. For a moment I thought this meant it was partile in your Solar Return, but it isn't. However, your Solar Return does have its own 0°39' Venus-Saturn conjunction. You finish your personal transmutation in the mysteries of Saturn to your Venus my November 12, but you still have Venus-Saturn events and circumstances in your life until your next birthday. But you encounter those as someone who has been through the process of transforming her relationship to the energy."

Thanks. That all makes sence and feels right in my gut. That black hole like pain in my gut is gone at least. That hurt and felt like I was being ripped in Two.
Transmutation....I think thats my middle name.

So yes, you have work to do on yourself this year (which makes it exactly like every other year you can remember, right?).

Yup.
Nailed it.
Pun intended.

There is always work to be done.

Just when I think i have my house all neat n tidy...
The little ants are busy
The hornets are building a nest
The wind blew all the branches down
The list goes on and on.
And my work
On my little bit of stardust
Thats my responsibility

You wanna hear something funny.....

So, life has put me infront of some fellas these past few months. Fellas I can tell think they can handle this tiger. They all get around to asking me the same question.
"So, what do you do for fun?"

Lol.
Jim....you do know Im working on dis empowering that mercurcy/neptune conjunction I have acting on my mars (which I am thankful for)...
So Lol...
I dont say what immediately comes to mind.
That would not be ladylike or dispell where there mind allready is (bc that question is actually a statement I like you and would like to be with you but I dont know how and if we are really relatable so.....i really dont care what you do for fun I just want to kniw if we can do IT together)

Grown ups work.
How do we get rid of pressure and have fun.
Come on...we are grown ups.....what do we do to give us the most positive reinforcement....

So i usually say...
I walk my dog.
I read books.
I grow flowers

What do I do to have fun?
Everything can be fun if you have the right attitude.
A spoonfulasugar.
When I want to have fun....Im me. Im the funnest thing in the whole world. I dont need entertainment. I am entertainment.

I was looking at a car the other day.
The guy said to me....
"Do you need it fast?"

I looked at him, smiled and said
"Its probably not a good idea to put me behind the wheel of a really fast car."
He laughed
And said it was gonna a while to get the paperwork and it wouldnt be availble for a month.

Jim said
"Welcome back."


Thanks! My overdose has left the building and I feel better. Its great to be here:)

Jim said
"PS - I have a progressed Venus-Saturn conjunction in partile orb 2017 to 2025."


I have a spare set of boxing gloves. Its all in the foot work. Keep those feet moving dip n dodge and smile smile smile. When I would box my little brother Id be all smiles and dancing around tge ring and he would get so pumped up and swing so hard...that hed miss and wear himself out.
You float like butterfly and sting like the bees knees.
Im sure youve got this.
But
I gotcha back if you need.

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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Mon Apr 15, 2019 1:35 pm

Wishing you the best V for your future. :)

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Mon Apr 15, 2019 2:29 pm

SteveS wrote:
Mon Apr 15, 2019 1:35 pm
Wishing you the best V for your future. :)
Thank you Steve!

I love wishes.

Wishes are like dreams
A creative spark of imagination
That opens doors you didnt know exist
To worlds you didnt know existed

Its wishes that make the world go around
A little fire to hold tight too
A dancing moonbeam of possibilites
When things seem cold and hard
A seed of unlimited potentiality.

Watch it grow

Thank you

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Tue Apr 16, 2019 7:54 am

Ya know,
I dont mean to come across like a whiner.
In thinking about what I shared...
It was pretty negative.
The horrible thing at work
My car issues
Getting hit on

Thats not how I am.
It was more of a commentary on the trying/challenging aspects that life has brought.

But it would be wrong in a very real way to say that "life" brought those to me.

We attract to us everything.
Like JSAD mentioned in the black hole thread....its a gravitational thing. A force we as living bodies of light and matter have to push and pull.

So...that trying challenging stuff going on around me....

Its my perception that makes a difference.

Thats the spoonful of sugar.
Thats why when I want to have "fun"
I just flip that little switch of nitro and let the sun shine out.

I am doing well, and thank you for thinking of me and sending good thoughts my way, they are appreciated and taken to heart.

I was born with a saturn venus aspect so it is something I live with and have felt my whole life. Saturn has transitted my venus before and has worked at disappointing and turning dark the desire and love I have.

Ya know though....
As I look at my charts and see things like that which are concidered terrible uncomfortable challenging soul wrentching....I notice that those aspects arnt alone. There are other things going on, inside and out, to temper and mediate and soften or accentuate the seeming severity. Ie this year my sun and moon are also in opposition/conjunction....which is a beautiful thing.
The unfolding of a persons chart over time, as it progresses has allsorts of checks and balances like that.
That is how life is after all.

Its a set up.

My natal chart was set up and will progress through time and space to bring me somewhere. Each lunar reurn is a set up to bring my subconscious somewhere. Each solar return is a set up to bring my individualality/consciousness somewhere. And it progresses and returns on and on.

I have in my progressed chart right now mars moon and saturn in trine. That is tempering this venus saturn That is going on in my return chart. That saturn venus is a lesson for sure. Responsibilty to love. Its a set up though. A trial to get me ready for a huge aspect in my progressed chart, one that will be with me longer then the fickle moon, a trine of mars saturn and pluto. Power responsibilty and volatility/action. I will have that progression for 20 years almost.

So I am doing well.
I see whats coming and Im prepared and even though I have some bumps and briuses Im gonna be just fine. If life hasnt been able to rip me to shreds yet in the affairs of romantic love it cant. Ive been through it and Im not in the mood for playing head games and power trips.
I have at my own dispossible the ultimate power trip in that configuation and with that I can do everything and anything my heart desires.

Im growing a field of sunflowers this year. And a bunch of white marigolds. Im gonna plant them everywhere and make my neighborhood beautiful. The world is a beautiful place after all, even if it seemingly wants to turn you into worm food. Worms need to eat too.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Apr 20, 2019 9:36 am

Last year when I was evicted out of my home, Jim very kindly said to me in my moment of selfish woe...
There will be other homes

I know what he meant saying that to me at that moment.

In the great rythems and cycles of space
In the lesser seen patterns of Nature
I fundamentally understand this truth

I admire the work here helping individuals like me striving to understand our place in time and space and to help grapple with meaning and connections, which can so aptly be pointed out with the tool of astrology.

I know though through my attempts to understand the deeper work into mundane astrology that there are greater implications of how an individual s natal chart, working in orchestra with all others are all connected.

David Attenborough has released a new documentary on climate change from the BBC.

I would implore you all to take a moment of time this Holy weekend to hear what he has to say.

We are all connected.
Each choice we make each and every moment ripples out.

While I do believe that life exists elsewhere and even places where humans could live, this is my home, your home, our home for the time being and as my saturn venus aspect would say....the party is over....its time to clean up and everybody do your share because this is the only home we really have right now.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x762zkd

I do have that 1971 conjunction of moon neptune jupiter which some say is an indicator of environmental activism.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sun Apr 21, 2019 7:15 am

I do believe Ive been hacked.

Im not going to name names or point fingers....

But for some strange reason
"The Founder of Education Management" from the Greater Los Angles area

Stalked out my Linkedin page....

I have the upgraded account so I see who looks at my page. This account was created....and then deleted.

I dont take stalkers or bullies or psychopatic behaviors lightly. My account never gets views. Its inactive.

I am not intimidated nor concerned...

I have the most beautiful Lunar return starting this afternoon and with Venus square my Asc/dec Im just gonna smile and say...

Ok. What ever.

The difference between me and a lot of other people is that
Im not sneeky or hide in the shadows masturbating ideas if my ego is sore.

Ill walk right up to you if you threaten me and punch you in the nose.

Have a Blessed Easter and Passover everyone

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Re: Veronica

Post by Jupiter Sets at Dawn » Sun Apr 21, 2019 9:15 am

Stop. Right now.
Let's get something straight.

If you created a LinkedIn Page, and somebody looked at it... that's what's SUPPOSED to happen.

Please do not come here and claim somebody did something malicious by looking at a page people are supposed to look at, and do not claim you were "hacked."
That's NOT what "being hacked" is. Being hacked would be if somebody had broken your password and had changed your page. Or broken your password and was reading your emails from your account.

Let's try to keep the paranoia in check and let's not accuse people because we are angry with them.

This stops here. This thread is locked. Veronica, go for a walk and hide some easter eggs or something.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Wed Jun 19, 2019 9:18 am

Steven responded to this which I wanted to share

"Veronica wrote:
Last year I went through some horrible horrible things.
The man I love found another woman My home was forclosed and I was evicted. My daughter was arrested. My money was stolen. My car broke. My exhusband wasnt paying child support and fighting and being abusive to me. I was in crippling pain in my neck and shoulders....I felt like I was caught up in a tornado from hell. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Everything made me cry…
Veronica, in 2018, you had one main major Solar Arc (SA) cycle involving an angle, which was in partile orb for the entire year. This was a once in a lifetime angular hit.

SA ASC (22,19 Cancer) 90 NATAL SATURN (22,19 Aries), Exact 4/5/2018

As a supporting SA cycle with the angular hit to Saturn:

SA PLUTO (22,19 Libra) 180 NATAL SATURN (22, Aries), Exact 10/31/2018

It is obvious with the above angular symbolism, Solar Arcs wrote an important script for your life in 2018. Thanks for sharing this painful time period in your life. You survived/prevailed girl."

When you wrote that response Steve, which I am grateful for.....

I felt so sad.

You never know what hell other people are going through.
The person in line at the grocery or dmv......

I am so grateful that I had you all.....
Everysinglereader
With me

It was/is living hell.

It made me look at my exs charts
Jason went through it when I was with him and his manifestion was horrible.
Eric went through it for a large part of the end of our marriage which explains soooooooo much....
Craig hasnt yet.....

I feel like a grade a jerk for not being capable of being more understanding towards J And Eric.

The hell I went through was because my past choices caught up with me. Like Karma. Every last lie on all levels.
As a person who has worked hard to have integrity to be authentic to myself....it made me realize how I compromised my true self with my intimate relationships and instead of being forthright I ignored avoided and miscommunicated.

I have a fresh face and new understanding of why it is so vital to be true and honest and have integrity.
Its like going to a chiropractor and having them have to break all your bones and reset them so your balanced.

Thank you everyone for bearing with me as I muddled my way. I am so thankful that in my darkest hours I knew where to turn to see the light.

Its getting better. Its getting easier being alone and Im ferling that soon I maybe ready to have some friends and not have to hide myself and be who I really am.

How could I have been anyones love of there life when I wasnt the real me all the time.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Lance » Wed Jun 19, 2019 10:17 am

Veronica wrote:
Wed Jun 19, 2019 9:18 am
How could I have been anyones love of there life when I wasnt the real me all the time.
Dang. Painfully insightful..

Maybe it's just where we were and what we needed at the time. Personally, I can't regret everything. I can't feel like I did it wrong or that it was all a mistake. I needed it all so badly. For a time, it was so deeply good for me. But then the heavens declared one chapter was over, and another began - one where I have to be more true to myself to be fulfilled.

Anyway.

Here's hoping good things for you.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Thu Jun 20, 2019 1:09 pm

Lance wrote:
Wed Jun 19, 2019 10:17 am
Veronica wrote:
Wed Jun 19, 2019 9:18 am
How could I have been anyones love of there life when I wasnt the real me all the time.
Dang. Painfully insightful..

Maybe it's just where we were and what we needed at the time. Personally, I can't regret everything. I can't feel like I did it wrong or that it was all a mistake. I needed it all so badly. For a time, it was so deeply good for me. But then the heavens declared one chapter was over, and another began - one where I have to be more true to myself to be fulfilled.

Anyway.

Here's hoping good things for you.
Thank you Lance

I dont think I did anything wrong either, in regards to how I reacted during those stressful and frustrating times of my life. I did the best I could under the circumstances. Which might very well mean that my 2 exs needed me to be jerky during that time so that they could transmute and work through their issues.
My 1st boyfriend is doing very well for himself now, after a few dark years......
I hope hope hope that my exhusband finds peace and happiness. But happiness is not found at the bottom of a beer bottle.
For me I think the thing that is now in the front of my mind is how very important it is me to be me every breath I take.
When I compromise that
And not speak my truth
Its like a knot in a thread. It creates bumps and snags and little incongruencies that build up over time.
At my new job at the school I have been watching myself as I form all these new relationships with such a wide variety of types of people. In a very sterotypical pattern I find myself wanting to slip into preprogrammed manners of acting, but when I feel that I know its a red flag that my actions need to come from my authentic self and not try to mold or fit myself into others expectations or what I think are their expectations.
I have a beautiful life.
I always have.
Ive always known that.
I just have this super sensitive side that really takes things to heart.
The feeling of saturn on venus of disapointment in love and all those negative terms about disfigurement have more to do with my relationship with myself Then with others.

Thanks again for your support and encouragement

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Re: Veronica

Post by Arena » Fri Jun 21, 2019 3:43 am

Thank you everyone for bearing with me as I muddled my way. I am so thankful that in my darkest hours I knew where to turn to see the light.

Its getting better. Its getting easier being alone and Im ferling that soon I maybe ready to have some friends and not have to hide myself and be who I really am.
I am glad to hear that your life is getting better after the difficult times you had to go through.
Sending you good vibrations my dear :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYO1-gGWJyo

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Fri Jun 21, 2019 2:38 pm

Thank you Arena
I liked that song :D I do love to sing.
Im listening to all kinds of new music on the radio.
I noticed that certain music gets me is certain moods and since I wanted a new mood I thought that songs Ive never heard before would be helpful. No automatic subconscious reaction.....just fresh new songs to try to learn to sing.

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Re: Veronica

Post by FlorencedeZ. » Fri Jun 21, 2019 2:52 pm

Veronica wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 1:09 pm
I dont think I did anything wrong either, in regards to how I reacted during those stressful and frustrating times of my life. I did the best I could under the circumstances. Which might very well mean that my 2 exs needed me to be jerky during that time so that they could transmute and work through their issues.
I think you are on to something Veronica, I have always believed that there is a reason we are in someone's life as well as the other way round. In my opinion you are such a wonderful person and you deserve the very best. And I think it was the best you did, to be jerky so that that your two exes could work through their issues. That is, if they were capable. Some have to leave as they are not. Keep going, you are doing really fine.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Fri Jun 21, 2019 3:11 pm

Thank you Flo! Your words are always a joy to read. Your very kind and I appreciate you sharing your feelings with me and I take them to heart.
When I talked to my ex Jason last year it was really nice to hear how he had met someone nice and had a family and a career he loved and passion for his beliefs. He didnt go after those things when we were together even though I had tried to encourage him. He just wanted sex and booze and drugs and ego stuff.

Ive always gardened. I love growing things.
When I plant a seed I whisper a prayer. As above so below. Dig your roots in and always grow up.
Reach for the stars and grow up.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Arena » Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:22 pm

No automatic subconscious reaction.....just fresh new songs to try to learn to sing.
That's great Veronica. I've been singing a lot too... I even went to a singing session with a guy in the alternative medicine. Maybe you would enjoy sound healing. Something amazing seems to happen with that.
When I talked to my ex Jason last year it was really nice to hear how he had met someone nice and had a family and a career he loved and passion for his beliefs. He didnt go after those things when we were together even though I had tried to encourage him.
It does sometimes seem that some people are in each others lives simply to learn something, to grow through a lesson and then they move on. It's great that he has at least moved on to grow into a more productive life.
I've sometimes wondered when what you describe happens, that it's the result of a different synastry combined with his own difference in planetary energies through transits and solar arcs.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Mon Jun 24, 2019 1:45 pm

Many people have extended these words to me...."Wishing you the best."

I thought I would look at my natal chart and come up with some ideas of what would be best for me.

I came home from work to my daughter standing in the kitchen with a tupperware container with a very baby mouse in it. She asked me what was the best thing to do. I told her a mother mouse knows whats best for a baby mouse. We put the container in the basement where I know the mice go and said a prayer to God to do whats best. Even though this past winter I caught a dozen of them.

What is best for me?
What do I need....

Having someone to be nice to...to love to help to serve. My mars venus midpoint on the asc/dec shows how I thrive and am my best when I have someone to love. I have so much in me and niceness and just wish I had someone to love.

Balancing my contradictory nature of loving to be with people and my love of being alone. My angular sun vs my Angluar Pluto demands a balancing. My work subjects me to hundreds of people a day and it can be taxing on my sensitive nature. I need when I am not working to be able to do things quietly and alobe, or even not do anything at all and just decompress.

Balancing/harmonizing my feminine natures with my masculine natures. This is the obe I have been resisting and fighting against and the obe this years SSR has thrown in my face to get through. We all have a dual nature. My life so far has been one where I have had to be more masculine then feminine. Ive had to step up into masculine gender roles and do things traditionally held as mens work. Work work work. Im tired of wearing pabts and sneakers. Im tired of changing tires and fixing lawn mowers. I am a woman. I love pretty dresses and bangles and toenail polish and fancy shoes. I need more then anything to be a woman for once. I need a man to treat me like a lady. Which means I have to act like a lady. This one aspect...my venus trine saturn in my natal chart and the saturn venus pluto conjunction in this SSR. Has shown me that me being a tomboy has not led me to healthy relationship patterns and the only way I can see to break that is to be the Lady that I really am....not the pirate....not the bimbo....not the supermom...not the warrior. I need to be free to be the woman that I was born to be and I just hope that maybe there still is a nice romantic kind and good man who knows how to treat a lady.


To be in an environment that encourages my healthy growth and gently allows me to let go of things I no longer need. Part of being a lady is accepting that there are rhings and places I do not belong. I dont want to go to a tractor pull or a biker bar or hang out with the boys drinking beer. It makes me uncomfortable and defensive and like I have to be macho or strong. I want to go places where I can be soft and gentle and receptive and kind. Like flower stores or movie theathers or quiet picnics by a stream.

To dream of goals and aspirations that are based on reality and are attainable.
My whole Neptune moony thing gets my heart dreaming of fantastical things that have little basis in reality. I need to focus on what is an achievable goal, a realistic vision of where Id like to be in a month, in a year, in 3 years, in 10. Life has flown by and I trully am not young like I was. Dreaming is the most powerful creative thing we can do, besides having a baby. I want more then anything to have a baby but its unrealitic as I dont even have a man anymore. I need to find another creatice outlet for my need to love and nurture then.

There are some things in life you cant change, like your natal chart but there are somethings if you have courage you can change, like your expierence of a SSR.

I looked at my next years SSR which has Mars doing double duty in angles.
My last SLR had mars on the angles and I had to man up and man up and man up and work wirk wirk at things I really as a woman didnt not want to do. But I gad to step up bc I gave no man to do those things for me.

I was raised in a family where mom and dad were a team. Mom did the mom stuff and dad did the dad stuff. I need that. Thats whats best for me when I can do what I was put on this beautiful earth to do. Keep a home clean and pretty. Cook good food. Take care of my loved ones. Sing songs and dance. Be happy and cheerful and content.
I thrice and am my best when Im in love with my partner and know that he will do the guy stuff and I can do the girl stuff and then we can cometogether and truely have real intimacy unbound by venus saturn issues of disaapointment in love.

Arena,
I studied sound and healing years ago. Ted Andrews had a great book about it as did Johnathan Goldman (?). I got a lot out of it and understanding sound as light cleared up things for me. One of my favorite songs is Do Re Mi by Julie Andrews. You can sing anything if you xan sing that. She is remarkable. My Fair Lady is one of my all time favorites. Jim and Henry Higgins have much in common. This song kinda goes with what I was expressing above.https://youtu.be/q5fW7sERw7I

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Re: Veronica

Post by Arena » Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:49 am

Did you have a look at your solar arcs?

Sound healing is indeed so very interesting. Am just starting to get familiar with it in the last few months. Never would have imagined how much sound can do to our within/spirit.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Tue Jun 25, 2019 9:18 am

I did look at what I think are my solar arcs last week or so when Steven mentioned my once in a life time trip to hell. (I use astro.com).

I was thinking about how it feels so sad so deep inside me about messing up things with Craig and how that hurts so much not to have him in my life. Steve said that usually after a hard hit in your charts you get a soft time.

Its been so hard and last months Lunar return really hurt. So I looked, hopefully, wishfully at those arcs and my next few luna4 returns for this year and then my solar return for next year.

My solar arc chart did give me a smile and the inspiration to not give up on love and having someone to love and genuinely loving myself.

When I was younger I loved being feminine and having pretty things and a nice home and getting dressed up and just being a woman. In my late teens and early 20s I felt so good about my self. My body. My mind. My spirit and I was very expressive having luxurious tastes in my home decorations and clothes and my food choices. I enduldged in silk sheets and lambwool rugs and art work and well.....my exotic tastes were evident everywhere.

I feel that part of coming back. Coming out. Its slow.

But what I saw in my solar arcs if I calculated it right looks nice. Its like the heavens said Here Girl put your wrentches away. Im gonna act as if its true. Fake it till you make it.

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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Tue Jun 25, 2019 9:36 am

Veronica wrote:
Fake it till you make it.
These words put a :) on my face.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Tue Jun 25, 2019 1:53 pm

The first time I said them I wasnt feeling it yet. It was an idea that I was working towards. Its felt like a huge puzzle to sort out.

My Solar arc shows my natal mercury is getting close to exact opposite that angle that passed over my Saturn. So I've been thinking more in these past months then just feeling raw from saturn getting run over.

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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:45 pm

Veronica, I know this: Solar Arcs with the correct directional individual rate has not received its deserved attention by most of the astrological Branches (communities) in America/Europe, ever in the 20th Century. This includes Sidereal Astrology developed by Cyril Fagan and his colleagues in America. Somehow, Solar Arcs has slipped beneath the astrological radar of most astrologers.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Tue Jun 25, 2019 4:55 pm

I dont know about that Steve.
Your much more educated about astrology and its practical applications then me.
You may be right.

It may thats its one of those things that can hit so hard that you dont want to say anything and just let nature take its course......

What if.....
What if last year Jim or you or Danica or Jupiter or Arena ect ect told me on or about the day that I first reposted here after years of being away (and in fact the last time I contributed years ago was about Craig and the intensity of my feelings.) That I was in the midst of a once in a life time major Solar arc with my Angle Saturn and Pluto......

That I was going to feel the worst it was possible for me to feel. That my soul would be ripped in shreds. My dreams burned....all the stuff that I shared.....

How do you think I would have taken that information at that time? You linked me a song last year and I cried for days.....

Things get revealed in there propper time and in the propper manner. In the esoteric world there are things called blinds....incomplete information...like a little white lie...to obscure and deter destructive behaviors (IMO).

I appreciate and enjoy your enthusiams towards your discoveries. And I most certainly am grateful and appreciative that you looked into my chart and shared what you saw about them. I helped me in a very real way calm my stressed nerves and hush my mind by lwtting me honestly say, it was a phase...its over...you didnt die...you didnt kill anyone....you did your best....and you hobestly shared your expierence so that others who are going through hell can see that it will pass and things will get better with time. Depression fear anger and lonleyness feel like they are eternal and never ending when you are muck deep in them. But life has ups and downs and turn arounds and is a very short ride after all.

I personally dont think anything gets by Jim. He just refrains from saying things IME.

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